It was around 20 minutes after Kyle's mini anxiety attack that he finally decided to pull out his phone.
stantheman: sometimes i want to tell you things
stantheman: so many god damn things
stantheman: but then i think
stantheman: i really think
stantheman: should i? is it worth it?
stantheman: i mean this person (you) goes to the same school as me
stantheman: i don't have a clue who this person could be. if i tell them anything personal, it could be spread
stantheman: but i don't know
stantheman: i just wish you were someone obvious
Kyle felt nervous just reading the messages in public, but more so at what Stan was saying. Was he trying to study Kyle? See if he was fantastick?
Even though Kyle wasn't standing, he felt his legs get weak.
fantastick: why are you sending me this? are you okay? i'm worried about you now
fantastick: even though i'm supposed to mad and all
Kyle didn't rush to put down his phone, but got extremely nervous when he watched Stan pick up his phone and view the screen. Averting his eyes back to his screen, Kyle avoided any sort of eye contact with Stan. After all, they are literally in the same room.
stantheman: yeah i'm fine
stantheman: i just feel horrible for my mistakes and want to express them to someone i trust
stantheman: and i feel like i trust you
That alone made Kyle's heart pound a little harder in his chest, but not from anxiety this time. He remembered very vividly when he could trust Stan with his entire life.
To be cautious, Kyle didn't respond for ten minutes. The entire time, his palms itched to reply to his former best friend.
Even though Stan had broken Kyle down and threw him away... Kyle had a difficult time not speaking to him. It's very hard to just drop someone you talked to every single day of your life since kindergarten. It's hard dropping that bond. You make yourself believe that your bond can be fixed. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
fantastick: if you trust me, then you can tell me anything; i won't tell a soul
stantheman: well, the thing is...