I barely have finished my sentence and mum was already crushing me into a hug. I smiled widely at her as she pulled me closer and closer until I could barely breath.
"Mom, I can't breath." I say.
"Oh sorry honey. I am just so happy. My baby is going to have a baby." She says with excitement.
Gemma is also squezing the live out of Violet and I began to push her away so she will not hurt baby Styles.
"Gemma you are suffocating my baby and his mommy." I complain.
"Sorry bro I am just too excited to become an aunty!" She said happily.
"Congratulations Harry and Violet." Robin says giving us both a hug.
"Thanks Robin." Violet says to him for the both of us.
Evan also congratulate us just as mom pulls Violet into another bone crushing hug. I sigh while Violet giggles happily.
"Mom, you are killing her. Stop." I complain pulling her away.
"I am just so excited! I am going to be a grandma." She says with wide excited eyes.
"I know mom, but calm down so you can process it, yeah?" I ask her and she nods.
"How far long are you?" Mom asks as we take seats on the couch.
Now Violet, mom and I sat on one couch and Gemma, Robin and Evan on the other. Violet smiles at my mom and puts a hand on her belly.
"I am 4 months now. The baby is developing perfectly." She says.
"Omg! And is it a baby boy you said?" She asks.
"Yes, mom it's a boy." I say with a smile.
"Oh he is going to be a big strong boy, just like his daddy. If he is like Harry he will be kicking into your ribs very soon." Mom says to Violet, making her laugh.
"I am so looking forward to that." Violet says with irony.
"Can I touch your belly?" Mom asks making me chuckle. She had to ask that.
"Of course. You don't even have to ask, go ahead."Violet tells her.
Mom puts her hands on Violet's belly and smiles widely. "Hello baby boy, I am your grannie!"
We all laugh at her silliness but we all know how much this means for mom. She believed I will never give her grandchildren and now I am going to be the first to give her one. She was so happy, just like me.
"You look so beautiful. You are glowing. Pregnancy suits you Violet." Gemma says with a smile.
"Thank you Gemma." She says. "You look beautiful as well and congratulations on the engagement."
"Thank you." Gemma says with a smile.
"So have you thought of any names?" Mom asks excited.
"Not yet. With finding out and then reading dad's letter, we didn't have time to talk about it." I say.
"Oh about that...are you okay?" Mom ask carefully.
"I am good mom. I didn't know and I am sorry I hated him for so long when he couldn't help it." I say.
"Baby it's fine. You didn't know. You just saw what happened and wanted nothing to do with it. I should have left as soon as things began to get thought to protect you two. I wish I made better choices, it was never my wish for you to feel hurt." Mom says as tears fall from her eyes.
"Mom, you loved him, you didn't give up on him, you did your best. You didn't fail. No one did. The disease won that is the only thing that was wrong." I say pulling her into my chest as she cries.
"But I could have given you something better. I could have protected you from his demons. I didn't do anything." She says.
"Yes, you did. You never give up on him mom. You loved him and we do crazy things for those who we love. Never feel like it was your fault. It wasn't yours and it wasn't dads either." I say.
"You know that phrase that always is in your brain. The one he said to you before killing himself." Mom said.
"The one he said about us being just the same?" I ask.
"Yes. In one of his last days, one in which he was not feeling to well but was on his right state of mind, he was looking out of his bedroom's window while I folded clothes. He turned to me and said 'You know I am so glad our kids are not like me.' I told him that we were lucky you didn't got the disease but you were also so much like him, like the true him. He said that was not true because you were better than he will ever be." Mom paused and tried to stop her tears while I squezed her hand for support.
"So I told him that you, our Harry, hated pickles just like him, hated to wake up too late, worked hard to get things and was always attached to a book. Then I asked him who used to do that and he said that he did. He was so much like you when he was not himself. Seeing you is like seeing him on his best moments." She says. "When he said that to you, he meant the way you stood up to him and for us. He says you were the same in heart maybe not in the head, but you were very similar without realising."
"Even after all, I am proud that he is my dad." I say.
"Me too." Gemma said.
"When did you read your letter?" I ask her.
"When I graduated university. Dad was being all 'don't have sex' and if you do be careful and inteligent about it." She says making us laugh. "He also said he knew I will find a guy who will treat me like a queen and that I should never settle down for someone like him."
The good mood dropped but I knew what he meant. Obviously, he didn't want Gemma to go again through the same with the person she decides to share her life with. Luckily, Evan is an amazing man, perfect for her and who treats her like a queen.
"He said that he was sure I will be the most beautiful bridge and he apologized because he was not going to be there to walk me down the aisle. He also said that I was lucky to have you to walk me down. So will you?" Gemma asked me trying to light up the mood.
"Of course. It will be an honor for me to walk you down the aisle." I say to her making her smile.
We get up from the couch and hug. I tell her that I love her and she tells me that she loves me too. Then we pull away and return to our seats.
"I remember that you were very afraid about having a baby not long ago and now you seem so excited. What happened?" Mom asks me.
"I don't know. I began to change my mind as time passed and I agreed to have one with Violet. However, when I found out the fear was there again and when I knew we were having a boy, I exploded. I was so afraid, words can't explain. That is when I read dad's letter and he told me I was going to be a great father. That erased all my doubts and made me commit with this baby." I say touching Violet's bump. "I want to be the best father possible for my son."
Mom smiles at me. "I am sure you are going to be an amazing father."
"Agree." Gemma, Evan, Robin and Violet say at the same time making me smile.
After a while mom begins to ask a lot of stuff about the baby and tell stories about her pregnancy. I just sat there, happy to see the women in my life getting on and sharing stories and experiences.
***
A/N: hope you liked this chapter :)
I just wanted to let you know that I won't be updating until Sunday. The thing is that tomorrow I am meeting with friend on the afternoon and then on Saturday another friend is playing a concert so we are going to see him play. I am really excited because it's the first time I am going to see his band play life :) So as you see I may get some time for writing but I highly doubt it. Therefore I think it's better to tell you not to expect updates these next few days.
But I got good news as well! Next week I don't have class which means free time which means more updates! I am not going to promise you I will be updating everyday because I will most likely have plans and even though I got no class I do have lots of homework. However, I am sure I will be able to update much more than usual :)
Grammys! I watched the performances and what was wrong with all those sound problems? Poor Adele, you could see it on her face how uncomfortable she was. My fave performances were The Weeknd and (surprinsingly!) Justin Bieber, specially the Love Yourself part. I liked Taylor as well but it was no different to other Out Of The Wood's Performances she has done before. But I was so happy she won best album, it was truly deserved! Also so happy Ed finally got his first Grammy! It was about time, he deserve it so so much! Plus it was for Thinking Out Loud which is by far one of my fave songs from him :) I think that is all, looks wise I loved Selena, Taylor and Bella Hadid (she and Abel looked fav!).
BTW thoughts on It's You? I heard it and I am not feeling it. I just didn't like it at all, I found it kind of boring idk. Let me know your opinions about it!
See you soon! xx