Here I am writing again.
I guess this means I am in that place , again.
Not writing here doesn't mean everything was going just fine, but it means that nothing was happening, I was just numb, no tears, no stress, just numb.
I started going to college, yes, I was accepted, but no, I did not get happy at all. But yes, I should.
I'll resume and save you from the details of this tragic story, here we go:
College + loneliness + lost in that place + my complexes and low self steem = Cryed a lot . College is not going well.
After years drowning in numbness, I'm drowning in tears again, just like old times. It was just like School, but worse. And I only had 3 days of it.
I will not ask you ''Can it get worse?'' Because we know, it always can.
My therapist says that I need to control my mind,
But it is winning.
I have no idea how to fight thoughts that have so much control over me.
I'm ugly, disgusting, anti social, anxious, strange, dumb, they all hate me.. Is all of it the truth, or its my mind playing with me like she always did, but even stronger? I just don't know.
I want to give up, leave it all behing, isolate myself in somewhere really cold and die.
She is winning,
-Destroyed and hopeless . Over and over again.