The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth, the atoms that make up the human body, are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures.
These stars, the high mass ones among them, went unstable in their later years. They collapsed and then exploded, scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy. Guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself.
These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems, stars with orbiting planets. And those planets now have the ingredients for life itself.
So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up—many people feel small because they're small and the universe is big—but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There's a level of connectivity.
That's really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant, you want to feel like you're a participant in the goings-on of activities and events around you. That's precisely what we are, just by being alive.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson
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—thirteen—
the starry night
AFTER THE MOVIE, Paige thought they were already going home, but when Arthur pulled out of the field and drove further straight from where they had once been, she crinkled her forehead in confusion.
"Wait," she uttered. "Where are we going? I thought we're heading home?"
Arthur studied his wrist watch, eyebrows furrowing because of the lack of light around them. He then simply shot her a smile. "We still got time. More or less ninety minutes. I want to show you this place that's very special to me. Me and my dad used to go there together, also because it's pretty close to where we were living before. Now's the high time to visit the place. Checked the weather report ahead of time so it'll be spectacular tonight, I'm sure."
Paige tilted her head aside and gazed at him in amusement, but also in skepticism. "Okay...? That sounds interesting."
He simpered. "More than interesting. You'll love it."
It wasn't even five minutes when Arthur halt the car right beside a wooden tiny house which seemed like a makeshift restaurant, if the two dining tables inside the place was any indication. Upstairs, she presumed, was the living portion of the owners since she could see the bedroom from the window high up the shelter. It was made with wood all around−both the exterior and interior, the tables, the chairs, the bar counter, save for the different flowers ornamenting the tables and the wooden walls.
Paige could absolutely feel the vibe of being in a small town or that time she spent her summer in New Zealand.
The small bell hanging by the door jingled when she pushed it open, with Arthur trailing behind her. She traveled her eyes around in awe before she saw a couple at the furthest table talking animatedly, with mugs in their hands, the hot vapor from their drinks smoothly swirling up in the air.
"Arthur!"
She snapped her attention to the woman behind the counter, who had her mouth in a grin, her eyes flickering in delight as she stared at Arthur in surprise. She was in her forties, she concluded−wearing a red apron over her denim button-down, a bandana on her head in the same color.
She fell a step back as Arthur stretched his arms out, chuckling when the woman lunged right into his arms. He fractionally lifted her up, swaying her body in mirth. She couldn't help but smile at them in amusement, wondering who she was.
"Oh, dear! Look at you," she gushed, her hands attached to him as she stumbled back to give him a once-over. She then hugged him back and muffled the words, "I've missed you. It's been what, two years?"
"Has it been that long?" he asked when they parted, a smile playing on his lips.
"Yes!" she replied. "I remember you being too scrawny, I swear I could see your shoulders carrying you around..."
"Ugh, Martha," he said in embarrassment, looking at her with a sheepish smile. "You're turning my date off. Anyway," he slung his arm around her shoulders and her cheeks faintly flamed, her fingers crossing down her stomach, "this is my girlfriend, Paige. Paige, this is Martha. She owns this place and manages Marley Cafe with his husband, Stanley."
Martha gazed at her, her smile never leaving her face. Paige widened her eyes when she suddenly cupped her face and practically bore her nose into hers. "What a lovely lady you got here, huh? Is this bucko treating you right?"
Paige simply chuckled and she found Arthur rolling his eyes, albeit smirking anyway.
After a string of small talks, Martha rounded the counter and asked Arthur what he needed.
"The usual," replied he. "A thermos of hot chocolate and a small bag of honey crackers, please."
Martha eyed her curiously. "You're going to Saturn's, aren't you?"
"Yeah," Arthur replied, as he led Paige to the bar stools but a shrill sound pierced through the air, her phone vibrating inside her shoulder bag. "Go ahead."
Paige nodded, backing away and made a good distance from the counter as she watched Arthur tipping up to the high chair. Taking out her phone, an upsetting sensation strained her throat when her eyes landed on Owen's name.
She eased her breathing before she picked up the call, her tone a cautious, "Hello? What's up?"
"Hey," his voice was quiet, almost intimate, and she couldn't help but feel ashamed for feeling kindled just a little bit. "I was wondering if we could...go out tonight?"
Paige suppressed the catch in her breath and her lashes mechanically lifted up to peer at Arthur, who then turned his head towards her. She smiled at him in a manner so wide, she didn't know if Arthur could feel the edginess radiating off her.
When he turned back to Martha, her fingers clutched around her phone in a skintight grip before clearing her throat. "Oh, um−I don't...I don't really feel good tonight. Where're your friends?"
Owen's sigh was raspy, swimming along the static of the phone. "I can go out with them anytime I want, wherever I want, it's just..." the line suddenly became silent, Paige thought that he'd already dropped the call, but then he added, "I miss you."
It was hard for her to keep her composure. It felt so forbidden to even hear his voice, let alone listen to his words she'd tried so hard to turn a blind eye to. "I'm going to bed now," she lied instead after a moment of silence, after she'd whispered to her heart not to believe him.
Owen cleared his throat. "Right−yeah, sure. So, uh, I'll see you tomorrow then. I'll come pick you up in the morning."
She grimaced. "No, I can ma−"
"I insist," he cut her off, "the park's just a ten-minute drive to the hotel."
"I'll bring my own car, Owen. Plus, I have to go somewhere important on my way to work."
"Well, I can drive you there."
She rolled her eyes, miffed at the fact that he was trying to be so nice these days, which was definitely unnecessary considering that she had another person to think about. Her boyfriend.
Paige sighed. "It's a no."
"Alright," he sounded a little too happy and she shot her eyebrow up. But then he said, "See you tomorrow, Paige."
"Wait!"
But the line already went dead. She gritted her teeth in frustration, glumly tugging her beret down her face. As soon as she put it back to place, her eyes landed on Arthur who was staring at her in amusement, and she blinked at him like a klutz she normally was.
After Arthur paid his orders and asked Martha if they could borrow two mugs, telling her that they'd dropped by anyway after visiting the camp, they soon said their goodbyes. Martha waved at them until they pulled out of the road, and Paige peeked at her outside the window, one hand glued against the top of her cap as she returned the wave.
The weather was quite chilly but it wouldn't suffice to freeze them to the bones. So it was just the perfect night to do some stargazing; Paige all but went hysterical when she laughed upon hearing that he'd take her to the known camp in this small town of Fairville−where people swing by to look at the stars.
"It's great out here," Arthur said as they entered a vast plain, which appeared to be affected by a drought, if the cracks all over the field was any indication. "There's little to no light pollution since we're a distance away from Bradbury City and even Rockstring. But you still have to account for the full moon though because it'll outshine the stars, s'little bit hard for you to see."
"I see," she said, out of breath, as she leaned over the window and looked up at the twinkling beauty of the cosmos. She then whipped back to the road sign that said Saturn's Camp in sheer wonder. "Why do they call it Saturn's Camp anyway?"
"That's an interesting question," replied Arthur, stepping on the brakes. Paige turned back to him with such growing interest that Arthur's eyes crinkled in amusement. "See, in Roman mythology, Saturn is the god of agriculture and vegetation. The farmers here had the highest hopes that this god will provide the sufficient rain for their plants to grow. Unfortunately, it's been going on for years that they just gave up altogether. People found this a good spot for stargazing though, so, yeah," he shrugged, "that's how it all started."
"That's strange," she murmured, a frown masking her expression. "I'm pretty sure I saw this field of sunflowers on the way here."
Arthur jerked his shoulder. "Miracles, I guess."
A minute later, Arthur unlatched the tailgate of the truck so that he could set up some unfolded boxes where he could place the blankets he'd taken from the backseat earlier. He then grabbed Paige by the waist and lifted her up so that now she was already sitting on the edge of the tailgate, her legs swaying back and forth.
He then paced back and hovered inside the truck and unloaded the thermos, grabbed the two mugs and the bag of crackers. Once he'd already laid them down next to Paige, he soon took out his radio, which she belatedly realized was also a cassette player.
It was hard for her not to fall in all of this.
Paige watched Arthur as he was about to open the thermos as he stood next to her, but her touch on his arm effectively cut him off, and his gaze evened to hers questioningly.
"I don't know how to explain how much I appreciate all of this, Art," she said, her words barely above whisper.
His face was fractionally blank; he retracted his grip from the thermos and walked up to her so that now he was positioned in between her legs, which had now stopped swaying randomly. Paige watched how his hands snaked around her waist before meeting his intent stares.
"Anything for you, Paige."
She felt shivers down her spine as she cupped his face with one hand, her other arm sliding around his neck so she could pull him close. "I've never done this before with anyone. You have no idea how happy you make me."
Arthur didn't reply. He just hung his head down, reaching up the hand on his face as he closed his eyes; as if he was breathing the scent of her palm that was far too close from his lips.
Paige just watched him in confusion, but the warmth seeping into her heart was hard to ignore. She wasn't sure what had happened to her at the drive-in theater when he looked up at her with a smile that simply disarmed her. Unsure what that strange feeling that came over her was.
But she felt−pain.
The good kind of pain, and she was feeling it now as she stared at him, unable to help herself from brushing her fingers through his windswept hair. And if she thought that crippling pain had never felt that good, then may she never be cured again.
Only Arthur had spoken when he turned around, pulling her arms to drape them down his shoulders. She then toppled her chin atop his head as she started to gaze at the stars.
"I'm glad I'm making you feel that way," he said, randomly pecking the tips of her fingers. It was too therapeutic a gesture that the impact of his kisses slowly mended the frazzled outlines of her soul. As if he was literally curing the heartaches she'd gone through, the fears and weariness. "Whether you believe it or not, there's nothing more I can wish for other than seeing you happy."
She smiled. Just smiled. Because sometimes, she didn't need words to let someone know what she'd wanted to express.
"Hot chocolate?" he asked in that good-natured lilt of his.
"Yes, please."
When they'd chugged a reasonable amount of hot chocolate and took some bites on the honey crackers, Arthur turned the player on, which he'd stored with both old and new songs nights before. The first music that blared through its speakers was S Carey's Alpenglow.
Arthur haphazardly made a slight sway to the song, shooting that mischievous smirk she was so familiar with. It was no party song or particularly fitting for a slow dance but he'd managed to make it like one.
Paige bubbled with chuckles before springing out of her seat and walked up to him with a grace of a drunk man, swaying like a giraffe−because she was such a lady in that height of hers.
Arthur snorted at her poor attempt, but then despite her utter shame, she'd played it all cool and danced in a playful manner anyway. His face turned red; even at the fact that the area didn't have the best of lighting, she could clearly see his face growing crimson.
But that was the funny thing. Instead of him just poking fun at her, he eventually made a ridiculous dance of his own. But the awkward duo-party didn't last long. Because the song changed to a mellow one, and Paige felt her knees buckle beneath her when Arthur stretched his arm out to her−in that inviting fashion for a slow dance.
It was Everything by Lifehouse, and immediately, she couldn't feel her legs anymore when her hand finally grazed against his callused one.
There was no knowing if that was how a perfect date should be. But the joyriding in a pick-up truck, the drive-in theater, the cuddles, Arthur's overall gestures, to him introducing her to a friend and finally this? She was certain he'd set the bars so high for her.
Arthur's lashes fanned against his cheekbones as he leveled his gaze to hers, taking her hands so he could wrap them around his neck, before he fastened his own around her waist, all this while wearing a soft smile−almost like he'd been sporting a ghostly smirk on.
"Have you heard about Neil deGrasse Tyson?" Arthur suddenly asked her as he looked up at the night sky, the tips of his fringes swaying down his forehead.
"Just tonight."
He looked down at her, his eyes resembling the shape of a crescent moon. "He said that when you gazed up at the night, it's not you that sees the universe, but the universe seeing itself in human-form."
She nodded lightheadedly. "I believe this with all my heart," she breathed, now the one to look up and studied different cosmic dots scattered through the blanket of darkness. She felt colder now but Arthur was close enough to make her warm. "I believe that we humans didn't come in the universe, but instead, we came out of it. And that really enlightened me−so whenever I feel small, I remind myself that the universe lies within me. And I am greater than my fears and frustrations. So, yes, we are the universe in human form, experiencing life itself."
When she turned back to him, Arthur's smile widened as he flicked her nose. She glowered. "When you say things like that."
"Why?"
He shook his head, pushed her slightly then pulled her back so he could turn her around, before catching her into a half-embrace, swaying themselves to the tune. He swept her hair which had covered her eye and her heart fluttered at the gesture.
She was absolutely captivated by him as the stars reflected in his eyes.
Paige was lost, so lost in his eyes−that when she thought about it, she was completely immersed into a world full of directions; but when she looked at him, suddenly, she was alone and out of place...
Suddenly she was swimming into this sinkhole of oblivion, that sense of panic that she was nothing−down, down, down, until she was reduced into the fact that in nothingness, there was everything.
Because like the universe, it came out of nothing, until it exploded, scattering everything there was like stardust.
She had crumbled and collapsed into his arms.
And as he pulled her into an embrace as they swayed into a star-lit dance, the world had made it pretty clear to her. In the midst of destruction, she was actually in the phase of birth.
It was the tragically beautiful fact that her feelings she had harbored for him a long time ago had finally blossomed.
Into something a lot like love.