A/N: Hi guys. Enjoy this chapter.
chapter sixty-seven |
Y o u r p o v
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"What?" He asked distraughtly, I watched as he stepped back slightly. He let out a sarcastic laugh, while I stood there watching him carefully. "He can't possibly be alive. Are you sure—he can't be." He said, trying to convince himself mostly. I didn't know what to say, I knew what I saw. I knew that I saw Jax's face.
I watched as he anxiously paced in front of me, probably analyzing the night he kidnapped me. I leaned back on the wall, eventually doubting myself. It was completely unimaginable for Jax to be alive. I remembered that night clearly, I saw the bullet wound to his head, I watched the excessive amount of blood . I heard the news reporter announce that he was 'dead'.
How could that all be wrong somehow?
It just doesn't make sense.
Why would he possibly be hanging out with Derek and Ashton? Especially when Derek doesn't even like him.
My mind was racing fast with deep thoughts and questions that were left unanswered and to my imagination. Nothing added up or made any sense.
I grabbed the phone from his hand, ending the call that he was apparently trying to make to Zayn. "We have to tell them—" he began but I frustratingly cut him off. "Jason, it's not his problem. It's his birthday." I reminded him. He clutched the arch of his nose, sighing. I knew how nervous & how fast his heart was beating. I could hear his ragged breath while his body slightly trembled. All I wanted to do was hold him & reassure him that everything was going to be okay. Sadly I wasn't even sure myself.
"Y/n...please tell me none of them saw you." He breathed. I wished I was one hundred percent sure that none of them saw me, but I knew that as soon as my eyes landed on Ashton's face everything around me just completely stopped.
If they did see me they wouldn't actually think it's me, right?
Would they actually believe that I'm at a bar, tipsy, standing on a karaoke stage?
He suddenly lifted his head up, searching for my response. I almost didn't realize that I was just staring into his eyes, thinking about my unsureness. "No they didn't see me." I said uneasily. "Are you sure?" He asked.
No.
I looked genuinely into his eyes. I cupped his face, bringing it closer towards mine. I felt his body relax under my touch. I watched as the tenseness from his face fell as he watched me. "I'm sure. Let's just..." I suddenly stopped to think.
Do I really want just go? Of course I did. I'm in love with Jason. I wanted to be with him. But—my brother was under the same roof as me. I could've actually gone up to him & hug him. Why couldn't I have been selfish and have everything I possibly wanted? Why did everything have to be hard? Why does loving people have to be hard?
If I were to walk up to him right now, what would I say? Hi, it's me. I'm alive, I've missed you. I just decided to go somewhere—without telling you guys. They would never believe me, Especially if Jax was shot. They know I would never do that. Then again they also thought I'd not ever become insanely in love with a twenty-one year old man named Jason McCann, but I've managed to do that. "Let's just what?" He asked attentively.
Before my mouth could open, Matt quickly rushed up to us. He walked up the small hallway were Jason & I were standing. I finally noticed that this was were the bathrooms were located.
I hope that Ashton doesn't have to pee.
"I got your text. I saw them. It's him Jason—he's alive." Matt rushed out, while watching us with wide eyes. He pulled at the ends of his hair, cautiously watching the people that would pass by. I just stood there watching Jason, I couldn't decipher how he was feeling or what he was possibly thinking.
In that moment I couldn't read him like I always could.
_
I watched as Grayson walked up to the table, dropping a folder full of documents on the table. I saw a picture of Jax's mugshot sticking out from the rest of the papers. I cautiously eyed the stack that was laying on the table. "What is this?" I asked, watching Jason pick up the folder. "Everything that there is to know about Jax Bow." Matt said, while flopping on the couch.
"Why do we need all this information?" I asked.
"We have to know his medical records to figure out how the hell he's still alive." Grayson said. My eyes scanned over his shoulders, looking briefly over the papers that were in his hand. The folder was filled with everything about him, it was almost unsettling.
Does he have a folder like this on me?
"His medical records state that his pulse stopped beating, declaring him brain dead for a couple of minutes." Grayson said, I was surprised. I wasn't even sure if what he said was possible. "Is that even possible?" Jason asked,while focusing on the papers in front of him. "Rare, but it's not impossible." Matt stated.
There was a question that was growing deeply inside of my mind. I wasn't sure if he'd be mad if I asked him. Knowing him I knew he would be. But there was some point that I wanted to get across to myself & maybe even him. "Why did you shoot him?" I asked. I heard a long silence accumulate the room. I looked up at him, the look on his face was something I wasn't familiar with.
"Why are you asking me that question?" He asked distantly.
"I'm curious." I shrugged, like I didn't really care about the answer. Which I strongly did care about.
He closed the folder, throwing it carelessly on the table. "You honestly don't know?" He asked. My eyes furrowed from his question.
Am I supposed to know?
The reason that I could possibly think of is not a legitimate reason. Obviously there's no legitimate reason to shoot someone—but anything is better than 'You kissed him'. He watched me almost hurt, maybe even remorseful.
"We're going to head out." Matt said, getting up from couch. I lifted my arm up, stopping his movements. "Sit down." I said, Jason was eyeing me cautiously. Matt paused, placing himself back down on the couch.
"I just want to know. Why would you shoot him?" I asked again. His eyes were distant—vulnerable. He ran his fingers through his hair, nervously biting on his bottom lip. "You kissed him. I sent you those texts & you still kissed him." He finally said.
Great, the answer that I was not dying to hear.
My eyes closed in disappointment, "Was I supposed to say: This creepy person that has been texting me tells me not to kiss my ex, let me obey what it says." I asked him.
"I didn't think you'd be walking all lovey dovey in the fucking woods & kissing him after he choked you." He rushed.
That's an interesting comment.
"Well, I didn't think I'd be sitting here after knowing that you're Jason fucking McCann." I admitted. "I guess we both surprised each other." I said.
"Tell me where all of this is coming from?" He asked bitterly. I knew that he was officially angry at me.
"I think we should just go—like now." Grayson said uncomfortably.
"No. Just sit down." I said a little more heated. He dramatically threw himself back on the couch, sighing loudly. "It's coming from me. You could've just took me & left him alone." I breathed. He eyed me closely.
"You could've ran away, but you didn't—well actually you did. Multiple times as well." He said, causing my mouth to almost drop. "What does that have to do with you killing him?" I asked him.
Honestly what do is it?
"You don't like that I fucking kill people for no legitimate reason huh? Is that what this is all about? Or are you feeling something after seeing that he's alive?" He ranted, I twisted my face in annoyance.
"I don't like that you hurt anyone for no legitimate reason." I said dully. He sarcastically laughed, running his finger through his hair for the eighteenth time. "He was a legitimate reason." He argued back. "Was I?" I asked him.
He watched me cluelessly.
Does he not know what I'm referring to?
She told me and I didn't believe her—but honestly everything makes sense now. Everything added up perfectly. I wasn't sure if I was sad or betrayed by everything. I couldn't even be angry about it, watching him in that moment. That was just him, he'll kill for no legitimate reason—even the people he loves.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"The night you hit me." I said slowly.
Y o u r p o v
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Day Before Yesterday
"Where's Zayn?" I asked, while walking into the living room. I found it weird that Lotus wanted to personally sit down & talk to me—alone. I wasn't sure what was up, or what was going on.
"He's out with Josh." She said. There was something off about her. Her eyes seemed distant & she kept sighing like she was stressed. This made me even more nervous about what she wanted to speak to me about. Her now blonde hair was placed in a high ponytail, away from her face. She ran her hand over his face dramatically. She turned her head, finally looking at me.
"It's been a couple of months since the car incident right?" She asked slowly.
This is what she wants to talk about?
I nodded my head slowly. I wasn't quite sure where the conversation was leading to. Her foot was tapping against the couch, I could tell that what she wanted to tell me wasn't good.
"I feeling extremely anxious right now. I don't want to start shit—but I overheard something & I think you should know." She said, she turned around, crossing her legs in front of me. I started to feel anxious as well.
What did she overhear? Please be nothing serious.
"The guys were talking about who hit you that night when you tried to run away." She said, I watched her attentively, trying to figure out what she was trying to tell me. I nodded, reassuring her to continue with what she was saying.
"I don't want to say that Jason would ever hurt you—but I think he was the one that hit you that night." She said, searching for some kind of emotion. I sat there still, it sounded so bizarre I couldn't even react. My mind didn't believe a statement like that.
I laughed once the words escaped her mouth. I noticed the blank look on her face, as she watched me. The smile on my face faded quickly as possible realization kicked in.
A/N: Thank you for always reading. 💜