"Ok there, drunkies," Bree said as she finally managed to get Stefan, Ryder and Alex all seated at the same time. "Stay put for just a few minutes. Please." They nodded but Ryder was already reaching for his phone. Bree took it away and exclaimed, "No! Ryder how many times do I have to stop you from trying to call Julie? You can't interrupt her right now."
Ryder looked away grumpily but Alex said, "There's more reason to interrupt her now than there ever has been. Julie's over there probably having wild animal sex with Sammy and you're here drinking away at your bar, sitting down when you could be going over there to fight for her!"
Bree gave Alex a look but it was too late. Stefan was silently agreeing and Ryder stood up. "No, no, no," Bree told him. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to fight for her!" Ryder exclaimed, making a few people in the neighboring tables look over.
"At," Bree looked at the time on her phone, "almost midnight?! Ryder, you're drunk. They're probably asleep or maybe they already got back, who knows what happened tonight. But you've been drinking for hours and I lost count of how much you've had."
"I think he should go," Alex said. He rose from his seat and said, "I'll go, too. I'd promised not to let Julie go back to the Sam pit of despair anyway. You lose the ones you love eventually, may as well stop her."
Ryder nodded, not necessarily grasping what was being said, and Bree said, "Do not encourage this, Alex. It's insane. And stop talking like that. I get that Kara is... gone... And you miss her, but it wouldn't do any good to go along with Ryder on his pointless drunk mission right now."
Ryder began to walk away but Bree pulled him back as Stefan said, "Don't go, dudes. Girls will just use you, abuse you, and then leave you. What's the point? You're better off like this. Single and unattached."
Bree let go of Ryder to turn and give Stefan a stern look. "Stop," she told him. "That's no way to think, ok? I know Shea leaving hurt you and you still hate the fact that I'm with Andy but don't let that from clouding your judgement on how you should be there for your friends. They need us right now, Stefan."
"Yeah and they're leaving," Stefan nodded.
Bree turned around quickly and saw that Ryder and Alex were already almost out the door, drunk and walking out with more liquor in their hands. She looked at Stefan with worry, grabbed her purse, and then ran after them with Stefan just a few steps behind.
Outside, Ryder had slowed down, but he was stumbling more and more with every step. He had no idea where his car was but it didn't matter because in his mind he'd be able to find her without any help.
"Julie!" he started calling out.
"Are you serious right now?" Bree hissed as she ran up behind them.
But he continued, "Julie!?"
Alex stared at him and then went on shouting, "Kara!!!!!" far more desperately and loudly.
The two continued to shout the girls' names and Stefan walked up slowly behind them, falling back several steps as he called out, "You do know we passed the parking lot already, right? Do you plan on walking to my cabin, Ryder?"
Ryder ignored him, taking a drink of the alcohol he was carrying and resuming to call out Julie's name. Bree kept following, trying to get them to calm down and shielding her face when other people passed them by.
["Nothing" by The Script.]
Alex: Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? They say I'm better off now than I ever was with her. As they take me to my local down the street. I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet.
As the guys sang and continued to stumble, Bree sighed. She felt sorry for them and all the while her anxiety that they'd do something really stupid was rising. Three of them were public figures and Ryder... Well, Ryder was loud, drunk and desperate.
Ryder: They say a few drinks will help me to forget her. But after one too many I know that I'll never. Only they can't see where this is gonna end. They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense.
They started walking into a neighborhood that was right next to Kitty's house and Bree felt like crawling into a hole. Following these guys as they shouted in the streets was embarrassing enough without passing by the city councilwoman (and her best friend)'s house and waking her up.
Both: And my mates are all there trying to calm me down. 'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town. I'm swearing if I go there now. I can change her mind, turn it all around. And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words. And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred. So I, dialed her number and confessed to her. I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing, nothing)
Bree turned around and saw that Stefan was very far behind, not even caring about keeping up anymore. She wasn't sure whether to keep following the ones that were most drunk but still going or the one that was sober enough but seemed to have given up.
Ryder: So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences. I know if we're face to face then she'll come to her senses. Every drunk step I take leads me to her door. If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure.
With the guys out of her control, Bree stopped where she was and dug through her purse for her phone. She had to call for back up and she had to do it soon.
Both: And my mates are all there trying to calm me down. 'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town. I'm swearing if I go there now. I can change her mind, turn it all around. And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words. And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred. So I, dialed her number and confessed to her. I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing, nothing)
"Hey," she said after a few seconds of ringing. "I know you're busy right now but... I'm with Ryder and Alex and they're... So drunk... And they're just walking around the streets shouting and I really need help. I wouldn't ask if this wasn't super urgent. Ok thank you, I'll see you soon."
Both: She said nothing (nothing, nothing) Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing. Oh, I got nothing (nothing, nothing) I got nothing (nothing, nothing) Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.
Bree hung up and began texting their location. As soon as she had, she looked up and saw that the guys had turned around another block. "Stefan!" she exclaimed. "Come on, please!"
Ryder (Alex): Ohh, sometimes love's intoxicating. (Ohh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking. When you realize there's no one waiting.)
Stefan looked up at her hopelessly, but seeing the desperation in her eyes made him snap out of whatever he was feeling. He began to run as he did every morning, towards her, and could barely stop when he reached her.
Ryder: Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? They say I'm better off now. Than I ever was with her.
They caught up to the guys and saw that they were stumbling down another street that would eventually lead to her own house. Is that where they were headed? She had no idea at this point.
Both: And my mates are all there trying to calm me down. 'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town. I'm swearing if I go there now. I can change her mind, turn it all around. And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words. And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred. So I, dialed her number and confessed to her. I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing, nothing)
As they passed on and got closer to her house, Bree pulled out her phone and dialed once again.
Both: She said nothing (nothing, nothing) Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing. Oh, I got nothing (nothing, nothing) I got nothing (nothing, nothing) Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing, nothing)
"Hey," she said once she got an answer. "Have you headed out yet? Ok, just go back. We're coming to you."
Both: I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing.
When the guys finally stopped, Ryder had led them up to their house, and they were out on the yard when he said, "My legs hurt."
"Because you just walked from the club to our house," Bree said, slightly out of breath. "Let's just get inside and get you guys sobered up." Before they had even stepped onto the grass, the front door opened and Marley, Amity and John all stepped out, worried.
They had clearly been having a very casual night, but all three seemed alarmed by what they were seeing. "Oh my gosh," Marley mumbled as she ran across the lawn to Ryder's side.
He bent over like he was going to puke but then stood back up as straight as he could and said, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just... I need to go somewhere."
"You need to go inside," Marley told him.
"John, Amity," Bree said, "do you two mind driving back to the club to get Ryder's car and Stefan's?"
"Sure," Amity said, her eyes worriedly shifting from Alex to Ryder and back. She looked terrified as John led them towards his car.
"I'll keep an eye on the twins," Marley assured them before they left. Alone with two drunks and a moody tipsy third, she wasn't sure what to do but she would start by letting them inside and offering them water to hydrate them.
Once they were in the house and standing around the kitchen, she asked, "So what'll it be for you guys?"
"Vodka," said Alex.
"Gin and tonic," added Ryder.
Stefan waved a hand and said, "Just a beer for me."
Marley smiled and said, "Coming right up," as she began to pour apple juice into three different glasses. Stefan was the only one that noticed but he didn't say anything. "So what's got you all like this?"
"Women," Stefan answered with a stifled laugh. "Freaking women."
"Freaking women, huh?" she replied. "Ryder, you're a bartender. You hold your liquor. How much did you have?"
"I don't know, a lot," he responded, rubbing his face in exhaustion and then taking the drink she had served him. "But I can't be here long. I have to hit the road soon."
He began to walk towards the door so she asked, "Where are you going? And in what? You left your van at work. John went to get it for you."
"John," Alex laughed. "What a great friend."
"That sounded sarcastic," Marley told him. "Alex, you doing alright?"
"I'm perfect, Marley," Alex sighed. "You are, too. We all are... perfect..."
She watched them with concern and then said, "Stefan, can you please watch Alex for a bit?"
Stefan shrugged as Marley followed Ryder to the living room, where the twins were asleep in their strollers. "Well, look who it is," Ryder said softly. "It's their offspring."
He smiled at them and Marley pulled him away from the strollers. "You'll wake them up," she whispered.
"Sorry," he whispered back rather loudly. "I just love them. Not as much as our Ben but... I mean, they were created out of the purest, realest love, Marley. They just... just... I mean, wow. Their parents are... the perfect match."
Marley helped him down to the couch and said, "Is this why you're like this? Because of her?"
"They're together Marley," Ryder told her. "Like, together together. She chose him. Over me. Again."
"She's never chosen him over you," Marley told him. "And maybe their cabin trip isn't turning out how you think it is."
"Wait, you knew about it?" Ryder raised his voice.
"Shh..." Marley responded. "Yes, John told me earlier before coming over but it's almost one and I hardly think that—"
"I have to go," he said, standing up. "I'm going to that cabin, Marley, and I'm going to make her see how she's hurting me."
"And what good will that do, Ryder?" Marley asked him.
"I don't know," he admitted as he walked towards the entrance. "But I just have to see it for myself. I have to see that she really loves him and wants to be with him."
***
"Ok, here's my stop," said Leila as she stumbled towards the entrance of the hotel she was staying at. "Peyton's not in town so at least I won't have to suffer through the humiliation of walking in all drunk. But thank you... For going through this awful day with me. I had fun not having fun with you."
"Any time," he said with a smile. His phone started ringing and when he saw that it was Marley at this time of night, he was instantly worried. "Give me a second," he told Leila before taking the call. "Hello?"
"Oh thank goodness you're awake!" Marley exclaimed. "I need a huge favor."
"What is it?" Jake asked. "Is everything ok?"
"Not really," she told him. "Ryder got really, really drunk because he's upset that it looks like Sam and Julie are getting together and they're at Stefan's cabin and he insists on going but Alex and Stefan are drunk and John and Amity and I are with the kids and Bree said she'd go but I know that he needs his best friend, someone who understands what he's going through and has lived it first-hand so please please please tell me you'll go with him."
"Um, yeah," Jake agreed. "Yeah, I'll go. Should I meet him at your place?"
"Yes!" Marley exclaimed. "Thank you so much. You're awesome."
The call ended and Jake turned to Leila, who was watching cautiously. "How would you feel about taking a little road trip right now?" he asked her.
***
Ryder bounced around in place impatiently, not caring that it was cold outside or that it was very late at night. Finally, his car pulled up, followed by Stefan's and Alex's.
"Awesome," he told Bree when she opened her door. "I need to go so—"
"Are you insane?" she cut him off. "You're drunk. You can't drive. If you really insist on this suicide mission of crashing Julie's whatever-this-is night with Sam I can't stop you. But you're not going alone."
"Yeah, I'm going, too," Amity said after having parked Stefan's car. "Strength in numbers."
"I'm going to stay," John sighed. "I promised to look after the girls and... then there's Alex and—"
The front door opened and Stefan walked out, with Marley right behind him. "Are we going to my cabin or not?"
"They're just waiting on Jake now," Marley sighed.
"Cool, I'll go, too," Stefan said, catching up to them.
John walked towards Marley and once beside her said, "This is insane. It's insane, right?"
"Oh yeah," she agreed. "But come on. We should go inside and let them deal with this."
John nodded and as soon as they were back in the house, Jake pulled over and said, "Alright, who's going with us?"
"Leila?" Amity said, surprised to find her there.
Leila waved from the passenger seat as Bree said, "You guys can take Ryder and Amity and I will take my car with Stefan."
"Ok," Jake agreed. "You lead the way then."
***
While they embarked on the road to the cabin, Kitty rested in her bed. She couldn't sleep, not since Jake had left, and all she did now was cry and hold on tight to the bear that he had left behind.
At about one thirty in the morning, Riley went out to use the restroom and on her way back to her room, heard a noise coming from Kitty's bedroom. That noise, she realized as she got closer, was crying.
When she figured that out, she did not hesitate to walk into the room quietly and check on her, but as soon as she saw Kitty there, cradling the bear in her arms, she knew why Kitty was so sad.
Riley crawled into bed with her slowly and put an arm around her, cradling her the way she did the bear. Kitty didn't say anything, but she let go of the bear with one hand and reached up to hold Riley's arm in her grasp. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world, but neither of them dared move from it.
***
"Are we almost there?" Amity asked as she tried to look out into the woods to find the place where she vaguely remembered parking all those years before.
"Yes, I think so," Stefan said. "Oh, oh, look there's Sam's car. Stop here. We walk from here."
"Awesome," Bree said sarcastically, pulling to a stop. Jake stopped behind her and Bree said, "I should at least give Julie a call right now though. It's not fair to show up out of the blue without a ten minute warning at the very, very least."
Amity nodded and Stefan began walking. Just as Bree was pulling out her phone, Ryder passed by her in a rush. "Wait up!" Jake called after him. "Slow down, ok? You're going to freak her out just rushing in there in your current state."
Bree hurried up in dialing Julie's number, walking behind her friends. After a few rings, it went to voicemail and she tried again twice, but still did not get an answer. By the time that she was done trying, they were already reaching the cabin, so she gave up and hoped that Sam and Julie weren't in a compromising position or would be too freaked out once they came knocking.
As Stefan dug for his keys, Amity put a hand on his arm and said, "No, no, no. We should knock."
"I agree," Bree said. Stefan rolled his eyes and lifted up his hand gently but knocked on the wooden door like there was no tomorrow.
"Stefan!" Leila exclaimed as Amity tried to get him to stop. They saw a light turn on downstairs and then one of the windows' curtains moved aside. The door opened soon after that and a very sleepy Sam appeared.
"What in the world..." he mumbled, clearly having just woken up.
He was wearing nothing but pajama pants so Ryder said, "Where's Julie?"
"Um, hello to you, too," Sam responded, rubbing his tired eyes. "She's asleep. What are you all doing here?"
"You really don't want to know," Amity told him.
"We're here to spend the night," Jake intervened. "What's left of it anyway."
They all walked in past him and Bree put a hand on Ryder's arm. "He's practically naked," Ryder whispered with as much insecurity as he had when he was a sophomore.
"It doesn't mean anything," Bree responded. "Lots of men sleep shirtless."
"In the winter in the middle of the woods?" Ryder hissed.
Sam walked past them and said, "We had the fireplace on in here." He led them into the living room, where Julie was sitting up off the floor. They had multiple blankets laid out down there and it seemed like they really had been just sleeping.
"What's going on?" asked Julie as she saw everyone arriving.
"Julie, I need to talk to you," Ryder said very quickly.
"Like, right now?" she responded. "What time is it?"
"Almost four," Sam told her. He looked at Ryder and said, "Are you ok? Your face is all red and flushed."
"I'm fine," Ryder responded, rolling his eyes. "Julie."
Julie looked at him with wide eyes, confused, but she could tell this was urgent, so she stood up and followed him to the den. While the others all remained in the main living room, they took a seat in the other and Julie asked, "So what's all this about?"
"You can't date him, Julie," Ryder said. "You can't... You can't be with him." Julie creased her brow, realizing that Ryder was definitely not in a good state. Before she could ask if he was drunk, he said, "Julie, I know that you and Sam have a lot of... baggage that you share but... I just... I honestly think deep inside me that you are making the wrong choice with him and... I just needed to tell you that."
"So you came all the way out here for that?" Julie asked.
"I did," he nodded.
"You're..." she sighed, standing up. "You're insane." She made her way out of there and he tried to call after her but he couldn't. She was too far out of reach.
***
"You better now?" John asked as he stood in front of Alex, who had just chugged down a water bottle. They were in Julie's house now, with the girls tucked in upstairs. Marley had stayed back in her house with Ben and all seemed well in Lima, though John wasn't sure if the same could be said about their friends outside of the city.
Alex nodded, "I am. Have to take a piss again but I'm good."
"Good," John chuckled. "And feel free to crash here, dude. The couch, Julie's bed. I'm sure she won't mind. In fact, she probably wouldn't want you to spend the night alone."
Alex took a deep breath, feeling a bit claustrophobic. Then he said, "Can I ask you something?" John nodded but he hesitated and said, "No, I probably shouldn't."
John took a seat on the living room couch and asked, "What is going on?"
"So much," Alex sighed, feeling dizzy from the alcohol. "But I can't process much right now."
"You miss her a lot, don't you?" asked John.
Alex looked around at all the things Julie had in her living room. It was a little messy but she'd managed to build herself a home somehow. In the corner she had a piano and several guitars, along with a portrait of her first album cover.
"I've been writing," Alex said. "A lot. And I realized that every great song I've written—the ones that I'm most proud of—they have all been about her. About Kara. And without her here, it's like I don't know who I am. I mean, she was practically why I was who I was. And she influenced where my life was headed and now... I don't know."
"We all feel lost at times," John told him. "But eventually we find ourselves."
Alex nodded, sure that that was true but still not liking his odds. He reached for one of Julie's guitars and said, "You mind if I..?"
"No, please," John answered. "I'd love to hear it."
Alex stood there and began to strum the guitar, his hands moving up and down the frets carefully.
["Too Far From You" by Aubrey Peeples who is incredible and another cast member of Nashville.]
Alex: Some nights I don't sleep at all. I lie awake with my eyes closed. Some days I'm inside a cloud. So tired I just float around.
With his eyes focused on the guitar, Alex almost didn't realize how his own eyes were watering, but John noticed. And all he could do was sit there and watch.
Alex: And I'm lost again. I'm lost. Too far from you.
***
As Kitty woke up the next morning, she was surprised to find that Riley was still there, beside her. She carefully sat up and moved her aside without waking her up. Then she turned her face and saw the bear, on the ground. Overnight, Riley had become her comfort.
Alex: I thought time would fade your face. Was sure that others could erase. What my heart felt so deep it's bronzed. Now I don't know what's going on...
***
Elsewhere, Bree woke up to find her friends downstairs, sober and merrily having breakfast. Even Stefan seemed happy and smiled when he saw her. But there was someone missing.
Alex: And I'm lost again. I'm lost. Too far from you...
As soon as she began looking around the kitchen and living room, she heard the awful gagging and ran back through to the bathroom. There, she found Ryder kneeling over the toilet, so fragile and still upset. Without saying a word, she walked over to him and took a seat beside him. There was no hair to hold back but at least she could be there.
Alex: Too far from that body of water. Too far from songs that kept me dancing round.
***
When John woke up, it was almost noon and he was exhausted, but he rose from his bed quickly. He should've been up hours ago to feed the girls. As he rushed into the nursery, he was shocked to find that they weren't there, so he dashed downstairs, where he found Sam with them in their high chairs.
Alex: It's the kind that cannot break. All this time I still can't shake. The moment that we knew it's weight. And could not let it slip away.
They were just sitting there calmly, while Alex was drinking coffee and watching them. He looked up and saw John there, so he smiled, silently indicating that he was going to be alright.
Alex: And I'm lost again. I'm lost. I'm lost again. I'm lost. And I'm lost again. I'm lost... Too far from you.