*****
I jumped out of the bathtub stumbling on my legs slightly as he strolled into the room and smiled at me. I grabbed the shampoo, it being the closest thing to me and I just felt like I needed something to protect myself with.
"Really?" he gave a chuckle, "Sorry about this." He twisted the bat in his hands looking mockingly upset.
I only just managed to stumble back hitting the bathtub behind me when he suddenly swung the bat and it smashed into the mirrored cabinet sending pieces of glass shattering everywhere. I let out a scream and squirted the shampoo at him.
He laughed wiping it from his face, with the back of his hand; it had just missed his eyes which I had been aiming for.
"Come on, Sweetheart." He chuckled.
I bent down and reached to grab some glass but cried out when he shoved the bat down on my hand painfully. I tried to pull my hand back but he only pressed down on it harder and twisted it on my knuckles making it feel like he was going to break my hand.
I kicked out at him and my foot hit his shin succeeding in making him stumble before he angrily slammed the bat against my knee. I pushed myself back against the bathtub pulling my legs back, ignoring the pain in my knee because it was somewhat numbed by the panic in my chest.
"Please –" I sobbed, "I-I swear won't say anything!" I didn't sound like me. Everything around me was beginning to look weird because my eyes wouldn't focus, they felt like they were rolling and I just couldn't control them. I was beginning to get really sweaty but I brushed that off figuring that it was my fear.
I shut my eyes trying to focus on my breathing and found myself thinking more about Lyle, Natalie and Damien. For some reason, thoughts about them were calming me, but it wasn't helping with my eyes or sweat.
"Oh, we all know it's a bit late for that with your recent medical records and your brother's adamant accusations." He said.
I didn't even know him. I had seen him a few times when I lived at home, but I had never bothered with my mother or Gerald's friends. I was only around to clean their messes and sometimes serve them.
I wanted it to end because I felt like he was dragging it out, and I was sure it would end as soon as the pills took effect, but part of me felt like I owed it to Damien and Natalie, to everyone – especially Lyle – to at least look like I had put up a fight. Even when I never believed it, he was always sincere about loving me, protecting me and taking care of me. I didn't want him to feel like he had failed. Maybe if I made it look like I fought he would think he had made me want to. Well, he had. I just needed him to know that what he had done was enough.
I bit my lip opening my eyes. I kept my shaking hands balled into fists beside me on the floor. They were shaking so much and I figured it was because I was so scared. I was terrified.
"So... I take it you're done praying?" The guy looked as amused as he sounded.
"Hannah?! I'm home and –" Lyle's words drifted from my ears as I took the temporary distraction to jump to my feet and grab the somewhat broken cabinet door, it was easy to rip off because the bat had already broken one of the hinges before I slammed it into his arm, I was aiming at his head but I couldn't really see anything with my eyes rolling like they were. The blow wasn't hard because of my weakened shaking arms but the bat still fell from his hand which was much better than nothing.
He straightened his composure instantly and instead of trying to get the bat back, just grabbed the wooden door I held. He tried to pull it from my grip but I shoved it into his chest, it didn't have much of an effect on him before he shoved it back at me and it hit my stomach painfully.
I heard shouting as I fell onto my knees shutting my eyes and gripping my stomach.
I couldn't see anything anymore; I couldn't control my eyes at all.
I heard him shout something at me but I was too scared to hear a word. What had I done? It had to be the pills. I was just supposed to faint and die, right? I wasn't really sure what I was feeling anymore, it had to be a cross between anxiety and extreme happiness... but I felt like the anxiety was getting covered up by the happiness really quickly. It wouldn't have been that bad, I would have been happy if it didn't hurt as much as it did. Especially my head. It was pounding and every noise made it worse, moving made it worse.
I thought I heard my name called but when I opened my eyes they just rolled back into my head. I felt my head pound harder and I felt incredibly nauseous.
There was crashing around me and I could hear Damien and Lyle. I wished Damien wasn't there.
I heard him scream in protest before he was cut off abruptly by a grunt from himself and was replaced by a worried and angry shout from Lyle but that was it because everything stopped when something hit my head.
-----
"I want to... so mad... you..." I could barely hear anything, but the voice made me want to sleep, "... were you thinking? Why – why would you –?" Sigh, "It's my fault... I should have seen it, I should have noticed..."
*
"... doctor says you're doing good... so is he, I think Rick..."
*
"Babe, go get lunch. I'll be here with..."
*
"He woke up." Chuckle, "Asked where you were... I don't think... there's no way they're going to be able to keep him in bed longer."
*
"Hannah, wake up... Please..."
*
"... he said." I heard a deep, shaky sigh, "I'm sorry I messed up, I'm sorry I couldn't help you, please wake up, please... I promise I can do a better job... Just don't leave..."
*
"I'm guessing even you haven't been quiet this long before." It was a different voice, a different laugh but I didn't know where it was coming from and like all the others it kept drifting away, "... says I should... I think I look pretty good... You better like beards, Babe; I don't think I'm ever going to shave again."
*
"Lyle –"
"No, thank you."
"But –"
"I'm fine, I'll just... yeah."
*
I heard a loud sigh. "I don't know if you can take the pain, I think you... I can't take your pain anymore... You're not allowed to get hurt again when you wake up... You better wake up... Please wake up..."
*
"You have no idea... I'm afraid... But what scares me more is thinking what he's afraid of could happen, I can't..." Sigh. The words were clearer, but I still couldn't focus on where they were coming from, it was so frustrating.
*
"Wake up...please wake up... I have a surprise for you... I promise it's good... but you have to wake up... I love you..." I tried to focus on the voice and it seemed to get clearer, "Natalie's got a surprise too, I'm not sure about that one, personally it freaks the crap out of me... but I have a feeling you'll like it... Hannah... can you hear me? Tell me if you can hear me. I need... I need to know you're okay... Please wake up." I tried to move, and I felt my finger twitch earning a gasp. "Hannah, you..." his voice drifted and didn't come back.
*
"Lyle said you moved, doctor said he imagined it... Doesn't matter, you have no idea how jealous I am that he saw that or thinks he did... Yeah, I don't care if he's your brother, it's not fair." I heard a worn-out chuckle, "I would scream, but I don't think the doctors or nurses are going to like that very much. And I can't even think about getting thrown out here..." Another tired chuckle. I tried to move, but unlike last time I found it impossible. It was frustrating, I felt like I was trapped. Damien... It's him. He sounded so good... He cleared his throat as his hand lifted mine and I felt it brush his chin, my knuckles seem to scrape against rough hair and I found myself wondering if he had ever had a beard or stubble. He cleared his throat and I felt his warm breath brush the skin on my hand as he kissed it again, "Eyes like a car crash. I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away. Body like whiplash, sew my wounds but I can't heal the way I feel about you..." I hung onto every word he sang, his voice was breathtaking. When he finished, I felt empty until he gave another weak chuckle, "So... This is my cousin's favourite song... I know because she used to play it on repeat... I know it's cheesy but it's stuck in my head so..." I felt him play with my fingers, "What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive..."
*****
Second last or third last chapter? I feel like this chapter's a little weird, but I had fun with it.
Anyway, thank you for continuously reading, I really appreciate it :D.
Damien sings Deathbeds and You and Me. Please vote, tell me what you think and share.