(His point of view)
I am dressing in my attire for the evening. A deep, blue tunic, black leather pants, and a long black cloak. The shade of blue causes me to wrinkle my nose as I eye it, holding it out in front of me. But after putting it on and taking a glance in the mirror, I decide that I actually like the color afterall. I take a quick sip of bourbon before fastening the buckles on my boots and turn to head towards the door. I am trying not to walk too quickly, but I am rather anxious to find my love. I missed her so much today.
Upon entering the banquet hall, I find Link and Kendha, along with the rest of the warrior lot standing by one of the windows. Link sees me first and waves me over. I let my eyes continue to search as I make my way in his direction, but I do not see her. She must be running a little behind.
Link hands me a glass of wine as I finally make it to my circle of friends.
"Where is my sister?" he asks, scanning the room.
"She must be running a little late," I respond, trying to sound sure of myself. "She should be here any minute." He and Kendha both smile at my quick and convincing response. We flow through a conversation of the warrior training that is to take place tomorrow. I am truly looking forward to it as I have found a new love for the art of war. Now that I have someone who truly makes me feel like I am wanted and welcome in a sparring arena. Link engages me on every little thing, always making me feel a part of the rest of them. And the other warriors seemed just as enthusiastic about my new membership as he did.
Every few minutes, I turn my eyes torwards the doorway, looking for her. But she never comes. This is a little odd. It is not like her to be this late. She surely would have been here by now.
Dinner is announced as the King and Queen enter. I make my way to my seat, where hers remains empty. I sit, still eyeing the doors, waiting for her to appear at any second. But as our plates are served, she never does. I can feel my brow creasing with worry. Link notices this.
"She must have gotten caught up with something whilst on her rounds today," he says, attempting to reassure me. But it does not help. In all the time I have been here, Christine has never missed a dinner with me. This is so unlike her.
I am suddenly feeling very off, like something is not quite right.
"Where is Christine?" the King asks, taking a sip of his wine. His eyes are looking to me for a response.
"She is running late, as her rounds today took up more time than usual. I shall go and make sure that she is alright, just to be safe," I lie in hopes of detouring his. He smiles at me, nodding his permission for me to be excused. I have to fake a smile through my concerned expression before I stand and make for the doors. The closer I get to them, the more unease I feel creeping in on my mind. I am trying not to let it sink in though. She may just now be getting back. No need to panic. I'll just go up to her chambers and check to see if she is there. I am sure that she is by now.
I reach her tower, then make my way up the winding stairs. Upon coming to her doors, I knock a few times. No response. I knock again. I hear footsteps coming from the other side. Oh thank gods...
But it isn't Christine who comes to the door.
"Branye," I say, sounding a little more disappointed than I should let on.
"Yes, Prince Loki?" She has a puzzled look on her face, obviously wondering why I am here and not downstairs dining with the others.
"I was just wondering if Christine had returned from her rounds today," I say. One of her eyebrows raises at my words.
"Is she not at dinner?"
"No, she never appeared," I answer.
"I have not been here for the majority of the day, as I went down to Town Market to do some shopping and run some errands. I was not even back in time to lay out a gown for her. She usually selects one for herself when I am away," she goes on the explain. Do not panic, Loki. She may just now be arriving back to the stables and is tying up Breseis.
"She must have gotten behind whilst she was out. I will go down to the stables to see if Breseis is there," I say, trying to sound calm. She smiles at me, nodding.
"I am sure she is just fine, Prince Loki. Good night." She does not look too concerned. If she isn't, then maybe I shouldn't be either.
I head back down the stairs and make my way outside and down to the stables. Once I enter in, I find that Breseis is already tied up, fast asleep in the corner over some hay. What the.....
I turn and head back inside, jogging my way up. The library! Maybe she is there!
I quicken my pace further, but as I finally make it to my next destination, I find the large room completely desolate. Next, I stop by the study, thinking that maybe she had the overwhelming urge to practice her music. But the room is silent; empty as well. I check the throne room. No Christine.
Panic is starting to rise in my stomach, almost causing me to feel a little sick. Don't worry, Loki. She is fine.
I finally decide to make my way out into the gardens, with the idea that maybe she desired a quiet night under the stars. I reach our spot under the apple tree, but there is no sign of her. I am beginning to lose control on my composure. I am seriously on the verge of an all out panic attack. I have a mind to go and fetch Link and ask him to help me search for her, but I do not want to cause a riot. Where are you, Christine?
I decide to just start searching the grounds. Every inch of them. I am running, panic is gnawing its way into my chest. What if something happened to her today? What if she is hurt? What if I cannot find her?
I eventually find myself standing on the shore. I am breathing hard, gazing out over the waters in front of me. I am about to start calling out for her when my wandering eyes finally spot them.
Footprints. Footprints in the sand. They look to be about the size of what her feet would leave behind. What are you doing out here at this time of night?
I follow their trail, breaking into a sprint. As I run, I recognize certain things that I am passing. I know exactly where it is that the prints are leading me to. The cave! Her hiding place....Of course!
I run until I am standing just a few feet from its entrance. I cannot see anyone, but the footprints lead up into its mouth. She's inside. She has to be.
I begin walking forward but am halted to a stop. I can faintly hear something over the dull crash of the waves just behind me. It sounds like......crying?
I inch closer just a few more steps before the moonbeams finally graze over something lying across the sand just inside of the cave's large opening. I focus my vision, squinting my eyes as I take one more slow step. That is when I see her. She is lying on her side with her back to me, curled up into a fetal position.
"Christine!"
Her sobs are becoming louder as I break into another sprint and fall to my knees just in front of her body.
"Christine?"
Her head jerks up as she looks back over her shoulder in the direction of my voice. The moonlight allows for me to clearly see that her eyes are swollen and red. Her expression is one of which I have never seen her wear before.
"L....Loki?" she chokes. I wrap my arms around her, lifting her up from off of the cold sand and bring her into my lap. Her head falls to my chest. Her entire body is trembling, causing me to protectively tighten my grip on her. I remove my cloak and wrap it around her quaking shoulders.
"Christine, my Love, what is wrong? Are you hurt?"
She does not answer. Her face buries
itself deeper into my chest as her hands take handfuls of my tunic.
"Did someone hurt you?" I ask in a demanding tone. She still does not respond, but manages to shake her head a little.
"Please, tell me what is wrong, my Darling," I whisper into her hair before kissing the top of her head.
"Please, Christine. I cannot bare to see you cry." And I mean it. I cannot stand to see her in pain, to see such a tortured, undescribable look in her eyes. It is excruciating for me.
She continues to sob, her cries echoing from off of the walls of the cave. I have never witnessed her crying like this, not even when she spoke to me of her horrid past. I decide not to speak again for a while. She obviously needs to let this out. I tighten my grasp on her even more, randomly planting soft kisses on top of her head. I just want her to know that I am here.
After a time, her sobbing begins to soften. She is still trembling, but it has decreased substantially since I took her in my arms. I want to believe that this is because of me. She is not quite as inwardly tortured now that she is in my arms. But I should not be thinking of that now.
Eventually, she makes a weak attempt to lift her head from off of my chest, wiping her eyes along with way.
"Christine," I whisper. "My Love, please. Tell me what happened." She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out at first. She takes a long, deep breath in before blowing it out slowly. Her eyes close for a moment. I reach up and place a hand on her cheek, summoning her to look back up at me. As she does, I see several large tears gliding down her face. I wipe them away with my thumbs.
"Loki," she barely whispers. "Loki, I saw her." What? Who?
"Who, Darling?" I question. She closes her eyes once again as the words come out.
"I saw her....I saw...my daughter." In another dream?
"What do you mean? You dreamt of her again?" I implore. She shakes her head, as her eyes open. She looks down to the ground.
"No. I actually saw her, Loki. I saw her today at the temple." I can feel my eyes widen as the realization of what she is saying hits me like a ton of bricks. The child that monster placed inside of her?!
"You mean...you actually saw her? The... the child that you..... lost?" I almost choke out in a stunned tone. She nods, looking back up to me.
"Yes. She was as real as you or I. I even touched her." There is such sadness in her eyes. I can hardly stand to look into them.
"How? When?" I ask, dumbfounded.
She takes another steadying breath.
"I stopped by the temple today on my way back. I just felt the need to go and pay my respects to Adrielle for all that she has done for me and for us. After I had finished praying and was on my way out, I heard a small voice calling 'Mommy'. At first I thought that I was imagining things, but then she appeared to me at the altar." I feel my mouth go dry as it falls open. I honestly do not know what to say. I hate to admit it to myself, but part of me wants to be angry. I want to hate the child because it was part of him. That insidious demon. But then....part of me wants to be happy. For it was also a part of her. It had to be perfect if it even had a shred of Christine living within itself.
"Did it....speak to you?" I ask quietly.
"SHE....and yes. She spoke to me. She...." her words break off as more tears fall. "She told me who she was. She told me that I needed to forgive myself and that she knew her death was not my fault." She chokes on her last few words before falling back into my chest. Her sobs return for a time. Her trembling worsens. My poor, dark angel. She never can seem to find an escape from her pain.
After a little while, she speaks again but leaves her head resting on my chest.
"She told me that she is happy and safe. She told me....that.....she loves me." I put my hands on her shoulders and force her up to look at me.
"Of course she loves you, Christine. How could she not?" She hangs her head in shame.
"Loki, do you not understand? All of this time, I feared that she would resent me, even in Valhalla. I failed to save her. She was an innocent child, and I could do nothing to save her."
"No, Christine. That is not true. You did all that you could. You were bleeding to death, for gods' sakes!"
She continues to look into my eyes. I see so much pain that it twists and stabs at my heart.
"She said that she could see me from heaven and that she watches me all of the time." As she says this, I can make out a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"I am just so overwhelmed by it all. I have longed for that moment for so long. But when I got to actually HOLD her, I lost it. I have yearned to feel her in my arms so much, and when I finally physically held her, she became truly real to me. My daughter is real." I pull her back into my chest. My new heart is breaking for her. I want nothing more than to shelter her from this storm. I feel horrible for not being there when this happened. She had to face it all alone. I should have been there......I should have been there with her.....
"I am so sorry, Christine. I am so sorry that I was not there with you." She pulls away from me once again, smiling weakly.
"I wasn't alone, Loki. Adrielle was there, too. She spoke to me as well."
"What did she tell you?" I ask.
"She said that she knew it was time for me to meet her. She said it was time for me to let go because I have to be strong for those around me, including you. And she promised me that I would see her again," my Beloved answers. I reach up and place a finger under her chin.
"You do not have to be strong for everyone, Christine." She scoffs at my words, but the faint trace of a smile lingers on her lips.
"Yes, Loki. Yes, I do. That is part of who I am." Her strength is mind blowing. How can she be so strong after all that she has had to endure?.......
Perhaps that is precisely why she is so strong. You cannot suffer through all that she has and not come out of it having gained nothing. She has gained the will to live. The fight to survive....the courage to chance loving again.
"Christine," I barely breathe. "You are so strong. I could live a thousand lifetimes and never acquire a strength such as yours." She shakes her head as if she does not believe me. I tug at her chin again, forcing her to stop and look back up to me.
"You are, Christine. Do not ever let anyone tell you differently." She smiles a little more as even more tears trickle down her cheeks.
"What would I do without you?" she asks. Her eyes yearn for some unspoken secret as she blazes a torn look of pleasure and pain. Christine, how can I bring you comfort? I want so to be the one who settles your restless spirit....
I lean in and press my lips to hers in a gentle motion, praying that this will help in someway to ease her strife. And much to my immense relief, my kiss seems to do the trick. She melts into my mouth, her savoring tongue searching so imploringly. But even through the passion that straddles her kiss, I can feel her inner turmoil. The unfamiliar and disturbing mixture of emotions is strangely erotic. My gods....
After breaking away, we sit and stare into each other's eyes for a while. Then, I lean myself back up against one of obliging cave's walls, pulling her along. She lays against me, snuggling into my embrace. We sit like this in silence for a time, listening to each other's breathing. After a while, she finally breaks the quiet.
"She looks just like me, Loki. Dark hair, green eyes. I could even see my brother there in her smile." I stroke her hair as I listen.
"I gave her a name," she almost whispers. I have to grin upon hearing this.
"And what name did you give her?" I feel the muscles of her face tighten through my tunic as she smiles.
"Rehema. I named her Rehema," she answers. She lifts her head, looking back up at me. "It means compassion and forgiveness." I run a finger across her cheek, wiping a few straggling tears away.
"It is a beautiful name," I reply.
"Oh, and it fits her so perfectly, Loki. She is breath taking," her voice states with pride. Then, her head returns back to my chest as I feel a shudder run through her body.
"Of course she is, if she looks like you," I gently state. She chuckles.
"She is perfect," she mumbles into my shirt.
"So are you," I say. I grasp her face and tilt it up towards me before bringing my lips down to hers and kiss her softly. I feel one of her hands touch my face. Within seconds, our kiss deepens. I could stay lost in her forever, but now is not the time. She is hurting. I can feel it.
I break away.
"It was such a bittersweet moment," she admits. "I finally got to see her, but I could not keep her with me. I wanted to bring her back, to keep her here forever." Her head returns to its safe place upon my chest, just under my chin.
"I am so sorry, my Love," I express. "I wish I could tell you how sorry I am." I do not know what else to say. I wish that I did. I wish that I could make this all better for her, but I simply cannot. And here I am, feeling as though I have let her down. Again.....
"You do not have to be sorry, Darling. There is nothing that you could have done, even if you had been there today. Just you being here now is more than enough." She pauses for a moment.
"I love you, Loki."
I kiss the top of her head once more.
"I love you, Christine." We remain like this for a while longer before I sense that it is getting rather late. The sky is almost completely black as the veiled stars brighten above us.
"Let me take you back," I finally say. She nods against me before pulling away and attempting to stand. Her legs wobble before I move in to catch her. I do not even ask for permission as I reach down and lift her from the sand. She lays her head on my shoulder as I carry her across the sand. She suddenly seems so meek and fragile, lying here limply in my arms. She is completely drained.
I carry her all the way until we are standing just at the foot of her balcony. In a flicker of movement, we are back in the comforting warmth of her chambers.
I bring her to her feet before helping remove her jacket. She sits and removes her shoes and socks. Then, she goes to stand, but she looks so tired that I know it will take her forever to make it back up to her feet. Her emotions have weakened her so.
I pick her up with effortless ease once more and carry her to her bed. I sit her on its edge and help her out of her tunic and leggings. The selfish man within me cannot help but admire her as she moves over and crawls towards her pillows in naught but her undergarments. She is so damned beautiful.
She plops down after reaching her destination, not even bothering to cover herself underneath the sheets. Her eyes are already closed. I smile down at her, still having trouble believing that this truly magnificent woman is mine. I quickly remove my own clothes, even taking off my undergarment and slide into bed next to her. She has her back to me, but upon feeling me move in next to her, she snuggles up against me so that I can spoon her. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her in closer to me, breathing in the sweet lavender fragrance of her hair. I hear her giggle.
"She likes you, you know," she mumbles. This takes me by surprise.
"What?" I ask, burying my face in her hair.
"Rehema. She likes you. She told me that she likes to watch you do tricks. She finds you very amusing," she explains sleepily. I immediately feel guilty for harboring any hatred for the child. But I have to smile a little.
"Then she is definitely your daughter, for it seems that you both share the same feelings," I reply quietly. She giggles again before yawning. Then, she rolls over onto her side so that she is facing me. She looks utterly exhausted as she reaches up and barely grazes her fingers over the locket that is lying against my chest. I watch as she stares at it for a moment then moves her eyes up to my own.
"I still draw strength from this, even seeing you wear it," she whispers as her eyes begin drooping. She is so tired...
"Sleep, my Love. I will be here when you awaken. I swear," I promise to her. She offers me one last smile before moving in closer to me. I feel her shoulders relax as she takes a steadying breath in, then releases it.
"I love you, Loki. So much."
I kiss her hair before waving my hand. The candles' lights fade, leaving only the glow of the fire filling the room.
"I love you, my dark angel." I feel her plant a silken kiss on my chest. Such a small gesture, but it holds so much power over me.
I wrap my arms around her and settle in. I said that I would be here when she awakens, and I aim to keep that promise. Every morning for the rest of her life.