Chapter Notes: Ava-Rain's POV
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- 'Say goodbye, as we dance with the Devil tonight. . .' -
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I felt his eyes on me. Felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Felt his gaze trail over me as I finished washing the last of the dishes in the sink. Caleb and I had just finished eating breakfast, and because I felt like I needed to contribute something to the household other than my amazing presence, I offered to clean up and ordered him to remain seated at the breakfast bar and continue to look mysterious and gorgeous.
Jennifer had not been mentioned once in the last couple of hours. For the majority of that time, my phone had remained on top of the kitchen's center island. I figured the out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach would work and, for the most part, it had. But every now and again, the thought of Jennifer would pop up out of the dark corners of my mind. When I reached the point where I was close to giving in, close to storming over to the island, picking up the phone and calling her, Caleb would always intervene.
He didn't have to say anything to keep me focused; a simple touch or look from him was enough to remind me of the importance of being patient. As much as I wanted to get to the bottom of things, to find out just what exactly Jennifer had going on with the pure bloods—if there was anything actually going on—I would only be getting ahead of myself and potentially screwing up things for Caleb and his pack, who were undoubtedly doing the best they could with handling the situation and extracting whatever truth there may have been.
I was not a patient girl by any means. Chalk it up to years of experience living with my grandmother, I guess, because it was those years in which I learned the uselessness in sitting around and waiting for her love to one day drape over me like a blanket of warmth and protection. Instead, I went after it. I chased it—the possibility of obtaining her love, the hope that we would one day become a happy family that would thrive simply because we had each other. But when the chase became too hard, too tiresome, too impossible, I had stopped. I stopped allowing the chase to control and govern my life, stopped allowing what I wanted to outweigh what I needed.
Love.
I wanted it from my grandmother but I didn't need it from her because I had already found and obtained it through my friends. You couldn't pick the family you are born into but you could pick who your friends were. Kasey, Jennifer and I chose each other. We chose to love each other, to be there for one another because even if the world tried to fail us, we would never fail each other. It was an unspoken promise. A vow. So, despite what Caleb found out, I just couldn't believe that Jennifer would ever betray me. And it was that firm belief rooted deep within me that had made the waiting so unbearable, that had made what little patience I had left virtually non-existent.
I was sure the reason for his unwavering gaze was him simply waiting for me to turn around and acknowledge him at some point. That, or he just knew I needed to be distracted from driving myself crazy trying to figure out what Jennifer knew. And, well, we all know that what Caleb wanted he always got. So, after the last dish was placed on the drying rack, I picked up the dish towel and began to dry my hands as I turned around to look at him. However, I was not expecting that he was already so close behind me that when I did turn around we would literally be standing face to face, or, rather, face to chest.
Freaking ninja, I tell you.
"You really need to stop doing that, Caleb." I said and gently hit him with the dish towel.
He smirked as he looked down at me, his grey eyes sparkling with humour. "Doing what?"
"Sneaking up on me like that. It's not cute. It's creepy. Not to mention a violation of my personal space."
"Says the girl who took over my whole apartment and kicked me out of my own bed. Is that not a violation of my personal space?"
"I did not kick you out! You choose not to—"
"I'm kidding," he cut me off with a whisper, and before I knew it, his forehead was resting against mine. Our conversation only reminded me of our earlier argument, which caused me to wrap my arms around his neck. "Like I said, I love having you in my bed." His hands found their place on my waist. "We never finished our earlier conversation, you know."
I knew what he was referring to. The only reason we had gotten into an argument earlier, which resulted in my accusations that he didn't want or desire me, was because of the stupid nightmare I had yet to tell him about. But with everything that had happened since then, the nightmare hardly seemed important or significant. "When's Declan suppose to get here?" I tried to change the subject.
Part of the reason I was trying so hard to not give in and call Jennifer was because I had agreed to allow Caleb and his pack to dig a little deeper first and find out more before taking the situation into my own hands. As a result, Caleb, his betas and Rickon were going to scout out some areas he and Jennifer often went to while they dated, in hopes of finding anything of use. If that didn't work then they were going to get Rickon to draw her out in hopes that she would confide in him or, at the very least, mistakenly let something slip, which would hopefully reveal the extent of her knowledge about this world. And while all of this was going down, Declan was suppose to keep me 'occupied' at the condo, which was actually just a fancy way of saying that he was coming over to babysit me.
"When he gets here," Caleb replied in that smug way of his. His mouth began to trail across my cheek, dropping kisses in its path every now and then, but I knew that he knew better than to try a repeat of what he had done earlier of seducing the truth out of me. He was brave but he wasn't crazy. "Talk to me."
My arms tightened around his neck, my need to hold onto him greatly aiding in my struggle to not be dragged down by the pull of my nightmare. "Caleb, really, it was nothing."
"Two choices then," he said. "You have two choices, both of which will address our earlier issues. First choice: you tell me what was bothering you. Tell me the reason why I was drawn to you in the middle of the night. As unimportant as you seem to believe it is, I promised to always protect you and I can't do that if you don't show me what you need protecting from. Or choice number two," he pulled his head away. Looking up to meet his gaze, I could see his eyes had darkened, the humour still there but the passion more prevalent. "I take you back into the bedroom and show you exactly why I've chosen not to share that bed with you." His tone matched his dark gaze. "Show you just how badly I want and desire you."
I wanted to look away but his gaze would not grant me the privilege. He wanted me to know exactly what he was trying to say and I couldn't deny that his meaning had been delivered. It had been hours since I threw it in his face that he did not desire me, and in the time since then, I realized how stupid it was of me to say such a thing. Caleb's desire for me could never be questioned, argued or denied. The fire invading my body during that very moment was proof enough of its existence. And as we stood there staring at each other, I could literally see that hunger inside of him clawing its way to the surface. A hunger for me. His need to claim me.
I cleared my throat and if there was any space to step back, I would have taken it. But the edge of the counter digging into my back reminded me that there was no where that I could run, and even if I did manage an escape, the wolf he was trying his damned hardest to keep in line would have hunted me down within seconds.
"There you go with your illusions of choice. Are we really going to pretend like both of those carefully thought out choices aren't for your benefit only? As if you won't just seduce the truth out of me again?" Unless he had a death wish, because I'd kill him if he tried that again. "Kill two birds with one stone? I'm so onto you, Caleb." I smirked, but when the gaze he had fixated on me turned much darker than I had ever witnessed—darker than I even thought possible—my smile all too quickly receded.
"Onto me, huh?" He smirked and his hands gripped my waist a bit more firmly. "Nope, not yet. But you will be." His mouth was so close to mine that I felt his every exhale as it grazed my lips. "On me, that is. In any way that you like, Ava-Rain."
I guess they—whoever 'they' were—weren't kidding when they warned not to play with fire.
"Caleb—"
He crushed his lips against mine, squashing any and all protests before they had a chance to see the light of day. Every kiss with Caleb was amazing and this one was no exception. There had only been one other time that he had kissed me as if he was trying to brand my very soul with his mark and that had been back at the den after my meeting with the pack had been interrupted by Angelie. I had labelled it as an alpha's kiss, in which I wasn't just being claimed and conquered but branded. This kiss was no different. Caleb was branding me as his, so deeply and thoroughly that even God himself would have to ask permission before claiming my life.
I vaguely remembered his arms sliding around me. When I somehow managed to be lifted into those arms and carried to his bedroom, I had no recollection that we had even moved, only the memory of being laid on the soft surface I was far too familiar with. His bed.
"Choice number two it is," he mumbled as his mouth ravished my neck. I released a smile, knowing full well I hadn't even made a choice. One of my hands tangled in his hair while the other snuck its way underneath the hem of his shirt. It trailed up along his back and over his broad shoulders. When I got fed up with it, I pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it aside, not concerned in the slightest where it landed. He was so hot, and I didn't mean in the attractive sense. Caleb was literally hot to the touch, burning as if he was actually on fire.
My hand slid from his hair to the side of his face. Although the feast he was having on my neck felt amazing, I wanted his mouth on mine. I wanted to taste him, to brand him just as he branded me. I wanted to leave my own mark on his very soul. I wanted to claim him. A child of Luna he may have been, but if God wasn't going to be able to take me so easily then neither was Luna.
Was this why he refused to share a bed with me? Because I had yet to see anything wrong with being ravished and feasted upon as if I were a five course meal.
"I swear to Luna, you're going to be the death of me," he whispered in between kisses.
"Then we'll both die together," I replied without much thought over my words, not even completely sure if they had been spoken out loud or not.
But when Caleb stilled immediately, I guessed that they had. His head hovered over my face and his eyes stared directly into my own. I knew what he was thinking, or at least what caused him to stop, but it was that very reason that not even he could bring himself to admit. Being not just an alpha but the mate that he was, my joking about dying right along with him, I'm sure, made him want to vow to never let that happen. It was an automatic response; it was in his very nature to protect me and my life at all costs. But as we stared into each others eyes, he could see just as clearly as I could that neither of us could ever live in a world in which the other did not exist. That I would follow him in death just as any member of his pack would. The moment that Caleb and I mated, we would initially be sealing each other's fates. We would become each other's beginning and end.
So as much as he was wired to protest against such a thought, he knew he could not. I could see the realization wash over him, could see the refusal quickly become thwarted by acceptance. "Then we'll both die together," he repeated my words back to me in agreement. My hands lifted to the sides of his face, holding it in place as we both silently confirmed to each other that whether life or death tried to claim us, neither could take one of us without the other.
Caleb leaned in to connect our lips, but when they were breaths apart a knock on the front door interrupted the moment. "I suppose death shall be postponed then." He placed a quick peck on my lips before pulling himself off of me entirely. "Your favourite is here." When he pouted I laughed because it was such a rare yet highly amusing sight. As he stood at the foot of the bed putting his shirt back on, he kept his eyes pinned on me, not at all understanding my amusement in his brooding.
Rising to my feet to stand on top of the bed, I walked over to Caleb. Due to the added height the bed gave me, his face and my stomach were at the same level. "Has anybody ever told you that you're pretty hot when you pout?" I asked as my hand slid into his blond hair. 'Cause you are."
He took hold of my hips and pressed his mouth to the bit of exposed skin of my midriff before buttoning up my shorts I had not even realized he had unbuttoned. "Let's go greet your favourite, shall we? What will it be? Bridal style, fireman's carry or piggyback?"
My immediate response was another laugh because I didn't always get to see that side of Caleb. The side of him that made me question whether he really was twenty-three years old. The boy was a kid at heart and I loved that about him. Loved that he only really showed that side of himself with me in rare moments. "Because, you know, just plain old walking is so unoriginal and boring, right? Piggy back!"
I practically threw myself on top of him before he even fully turned around. My arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist. The entire journey from the room, down the hall and towards the front door kept a smile firmly rooted on my face. Just before Caleb opened the door to let Declan in, I slipped down to my feet, anxiously waiting to greet the shy delta.
"Has anybody ever told you that you have horrible timing?" Caleb asked Declan once the door had been opened.
I worked my way from behind Caleb's tall form to stand in between him and Declan, who had yet to step inside. "Excuse him, Dec. Come inside!"
"Dec?" I heard Caleb ask from behind me. Seconds later, I felt his arm encircle my waist to pull me back against his body as his head lowered to my shoulder. "You gave my delta a nickname?" He pressed a kiss to my neck.
I turned my head towards him and gave him a sweet smile. "I gave our delta a nickname." Focusing my attention back on the twin, I gave him a smile as well, to which he gladly returned. "How are you Declan? Long time no see."
He finally stepped inside the condo and closed the door behind him. He had on a simple white t-shirt and navy slim fit tapered jeans. I don't know if it was a werewolf thing, or just Caleb and his pack, but it was kind of ridiculous how easily they pulled off wearing combat boots. On Declan's right wrist, he was wearing a bracelet—one of those handcrafted types made out of red and green strings that intertwined. Red and green for fire and earth, the two elements that coursed through both his and Rickon's veins. Rickon had an identical bracelet, only he wore his on his left wrist.
"I'm good, thanks for asking. How are you, Ava-Rain?"
"Well, besides the fact that my best friend could possibly be aiding and abetting your sworn enemies? Not too bad, I guess." Caleb's hold on me tightened as he straightened himself behind me. Just because he wanted me to believe that none of this was my fault did not automatically make me feel any less blameless. "How's my other favourite twin doing? I thought you both would have showed up together."
His blue eyes flickered to Caleb, where they remained for about a second or two before they retreated and were casted back down upon me. I rolled my eyes because I knew that look meant that he couldn't tell me anything even if he wanted to.
"Right," I sighed. "Pack matters stay between the pack," I mumbled. Caleb may have told me what their plans entailed in regards to further confirming their suspicions with Jennifer and the pure bloods but he never offered any real specifics or details. "But, anyway, how excited are you to be spending the day with me?" Behind me, Caleb released his hold on me and headed towards the kitchen. I watched him walk away until he was completely out of sight before returning my sights to Declan.
"Super excited?" He posed as a question rather than a statement and accompanied it with a soft smile.
"You say that now," Caleb suddenly reappeared in the hallway, "until you see the pile of chick flicks she's already got piled up and waiting for you in the living room." He had both his car keys and phone in his hands, which I assumed was the reason why he went into the kitchen in the first place.
He returned back to his former spot behind me, but instead of wrapping his arm around my waist he placed both hands there instead. "Don't be afraid to tell her when you've had enough," he directed at Declan, who laughed as his eyes flickered down at me. "And you," Caleb turned me around to bring us face to face, "don't even think about using that charm of yours to get Declan to submit to you." I smirked because I knew he wasn't necessarily referring to the movies. He had made it pretty clear that I was not, under any circumstance, allowed to leave the condo, wolf chaperone or not.
"Charm?" I tilted my head to the side for added effect, acting as though I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "What charm?"
"That 'I think I'm invincible, hear me roar, flick my head full of curls over my shoulders and bat my big brown eyes until I get what I want' charm. Ring any bells?"
My jaw literally dropped. I playfully shoved at Caleb's chest even as a smile snuck up on my mouth. "I can't believe you just said that! I have never done any of that you liar!" He and Declan both started to laugh, which earned each of them a deadly glare. I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head at Caleb, while trying to refrain my lips from curving into a stupid smile. "I thought you were leaving?"
He only laughed again and pulled me close. Lowering his head, he brought his mouth to my ear. "'Has anybody ever told you that you're pretty hot when you pout? 'Cause you are.'" He pressed a kiss to my temple then to my forehead. Of course, leave it to Caleb to quote the exact words I had said to him only minutes prior, as if the tables had been turned and I failed to get the memo.
"I really dislike you, you know." I turned my head around to Declan. "And to think that you were my favourite," I playfully shook my head at him. "No loyalty." Declan's response was a simple shrug. I turned back around to face my mate just as his phone began to ring. But instead of answering it, he hit a button to silence it then shoved it in his pocket.
It was time for him to leave.
And just like that, the atmosphere surrounding us seemed to have changed instantaneously. I may not have known exactly what was about to go down with Caleb and his pack, but I knew it couldn't have been something too extreme. Yet, the nerves that decided to take up residency in the pit of my stomach were only making me begin to come up with a list of 'what ifs'. This was the first time that Caleb and I would truly be separated. It had to happen at some point, I guess, but now that the moment had finally arrived, I wasn't at all as prepared as I thought I would have been.
Behind me I heard Declan move but my focus remained entirely on Caleb. A very slight trace of his earlier smirk remained on his lips, but the humour in his eyes was no longer there. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Declan walk off into the kitchen, I assumed, to give Caleb and I a moment. My arms immediately broke free from their folded position across my chest to instead wrap around Caleb's waist.
"Alpha or not," I looked up at him, "you're not allowed to do anything stupid." His hands lifted and cupped my face. "Nothing crazy. Nothing heroic. You're basically not allowed to do anything, okay?"
"I promise nothing's going down today."
"Alpha's promise?"
He looked at me and I could see that the mention of an alpha's promise sparked something within him. Something he probably didn't wish for me to see or notice but I had. But since neither of us were gong to address what that something was, he simply lowered his head and pressed his mouth against mine in a soft and gentle kiss that confirmed his promise better than words ever could.
"Be good," he whispered against my lips before claiming them again.
"I'm always good."
I felt his lips as they curled into a smile. "Debatable."
He kissed me a final time, allowed his lips to linger against mine for a few moments before pulling away. A quick kiss was placed on my cheek, then my forehead and lastly to the top of my head before his hands dropped from my face. My arms followed suit and slid from his waist to return to my sides as I took a step back.
"Declan," his voice was raised slightly so that Declan could hear, "if she proves to be a handful, don't second guess locking her up in the bedroom. I would actually advise you to do just that."
"He's not serious!"
"Oh, but I am," he said to me. Declan rejoined us in the hallway, his hands stuffed inside his pant pockets and a smirk on his face. "Don't give my delta too much trouble, please." Caleb looked at Declan for a split second then back at me. "I'll see you soon."
I nodded and gave him a soft smile before stepping out of his way to clear a path towards the door. He walked over to it, opened it and closed it behind him. My eyes remained glued to the door for a couple of seconds and were only drawn away when Declan spoke.
"You okay?" He asked and took a step closer, which put him into the hallway now and only a couple of feet to the left of me. "He'll be fine." I don't know if he realized it or not, but his left hand reached over to graze his bracelet. Declan wasn't allowing any of his emotion to betray him, but I knew his thoughts must have been on his twin. "They'll all be fine," he reassured.
I closed the space between us and reached down to grab his hand. "Of course they will." My need to comfort him, even in the slightest, easily outweighed my own need for it. At twenty-one, Declan was two years older than me. But in my world he was still just a kid. Even though in the world that he belonged to, he carried a title that labelled him as a man, as an adult with adult problems and situations that weighed heavily upon his shoulders.
He looked down at our intertwined fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Thanks." His gaze lifted and his eyes quickly located mine.
I didn't understand his need to thank me or how to make sense of the peace that accompanied his humbled tone. I didn't think my offer of comfort was much or could have done anything to make him worry less for his pack and his brother, but it seemed to have done something for him. And for that I was glad.
"So," my eyes narrowed in on him, "shall we watch A Walk To Remember or The Notebook first? You should know, though, they're both tear jerkers."
He looked completely and adorably perplexed, as if neither of the two choices held even the slightest bit of interest for him. "Uh, whatever you want is fine."
Gosh, I was going to have so much fun with this kid.
"I'm really glad you said that." Caleb had once said that exact thing and quickly regretted the power he unknowingly bestowed upon me with such a simple and careless statement. "You're title as my favourite is officially reinstated. You grab the ice cream from the freezer and I'll start the movie!"
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"So," I turned to Declan on the couch. At one end, I sat with my legs tucked under me while Declan was sitting with his arms casually crossed over his chest at the other. "How's your conditioning thing going?"
Our movie marathon had ended over an hour ago and I'm sure Declan was thankful that we had stopped after the first two. He was a good sport and if I didn't know any better, I would say that he actually enjoyed the movies because he had not once protested or groaned in displeasure like Caleb always had. But I did know better and was pretty positive that he had only sat through them without complaint for my sake.
The question I asked was in reference to what Caleb had briefly explained to me about Rickon and Declan being horrible siblings and the camaraderie they lacked. Apparently, Caleb, Kane and Chase took on the challenge of helping the twins find a balance with their elements. In theory, I guess I understood what he was talking about but I wasn't even going to pretend to know what it meant.
Declan shifted his gaze from the floor to me. His body turned slightly, angled in a way so that it actually looked like we were having a conversation with each other. "Caleb told you about that?"
I nodded. "He doesn't tell me everything, just some things. Out of all of the pack members, I've probably spent most of my time with you and Rickon." I thought back to the day we spent outside in the backyard of the den, the twins both in wolf form and instructed to keep me company while the rest of the pack addressed the issue of Angelie.
"Rickon and I sort of have this sibling rivalry thing going on. It's kind of stupid, I guess, but we just seem to bring out the worst in each other sometimes. Remember the day you first came to the den?" I did. It was both Rickon and Declan that I had stumbled upon after wandering to the backyard. "That was just another one of our stupid fights you walked in on."
"It's normal for siblings to fight." I had no real experience in the matter, but I had spent enough time with Kasey and Lukas to grasp the concept of sibling rivalry. "At the end of the day, you guys still look out for each other."
"It's just more than fighting between us. I love my brother and I know he loves me, but we're our worst enemies, if that makes sense. Caleb sees it and so does the rest of the pack, but they don't really get it. We're twins, each one half of a whole, and that's rare in our world; mixed bloods are rarely ever able to carry more than one pup at a time, let alone carry them to full term." His gaze lowered. "Our mother fought to bring us into the world and once we arrived, she died shortly after."
Immediately, my heart broke upon learning about the loss of his mother, but what made it hurt even more was watching him as he tried not to allow his emotions to betray him. There was no trace of sadness in his voice, and I don't think it was because the death of his mother didn't have an emotional impact on him, but, rather, a result of accepting what couldn't be changed and coming to terms with it by not dwelling on the emotions that would interfere with that process.
"She fought to keep us alive. She fought to bring us into this world. When others told her that we would never make it, she fought. Not to prove them wrong, but to give us the opportunity to do so. Rickon and I are our mother's sons. Her blood courses through our veins. We fought to exist and we fight to keep her alive. It doesn't make sense, but it's our thing. The others," he looked up at me once more, "they see it, but they don't get it, you know?"
But I got it.
Before I knew it, I had crossed to the other side of the couch and buried myself into Declan's side. My arm draped across his torso in an embrace, my head resting against his chest.
If there was one thing I understood completely, it was the things—actions, rituals, whatever—that people often did in order to keep the memory of a loved one alive. Everybody handled grief differently, just as everybody used different methods to cope with loss. Some fought with their siblings, while others traced over the letters of their deceased parent's names on their tombstones whenever they visited the cemetery.
"I get it," I whispered. I felt his arm wrap around me, even though it was I that felt the need to protect him. "I'm sorry about your mom."
"It's okay." He cleared his throat. "Our dad did the best that he could with the two of us and I think we turned out alright." Although I could not see it, I sensed the smile on his face. "And we had the best brothers to grow up around. Caleb, Harrison, Stryder and Tommy have always been there, so even when you lose family, you're still surrounded by more."
The truth in the statement was undeniable and a true reflection of my situation with my grandmother. I may have lost her, but I had gained so much more with Caleb and his pack.
"They only want what's best for Rickon and I. We bring out the worst in each other and that reflects poorly on the pack as a whole. Our rivalry has evolved into something darker and it threatens our balance with our wolves. That's why Caleb wants us to undergo conditioning. The greatest downfall of our kind is to lose balance with our other nature, to lose full control to the beast. Like I said, Rickon and I are our worst enemies. We trigger something in each other that makes us lose control."
"Caleb won't ever let that happen." I looked up at him. "I won't let that happen."
He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "I can't let that happen. I can't. If I lose control. . ." he paused, "if I lose control, I could hurt Rickon and. . .I just can't let that happen."
"It won't happen. Not on my watch."
He stared down at me and his expression turned serious. "You're going to be an amazing alpha female."
A soft smile escaped me. I didn't know how amazing I would be, but I did know that I would do anything for this pack that I was honoured to call my family.
"And I can only hope to never let you or this pack down. Rickon's always been the stronger wolf. He was born first. He walked first, talked first, shifted first. I always expected him to become a delta and, to be honest, I don't know how the hell I ended up right there along side him."
I knew where his thoughts were taking him so I quickly intervened. Pulling away from him, I rose to my knees, which brought Declan and I face to face. "Declan, Caleb loves you and respects you far too much to give you a title out of pity and you know that."
His self-esteem was far too much like my own, which was why I was able to read his thoughts so easily. When we had first met officially at the meeting of the pack, I had recognized a sadness within him, a state of inadequacy that he didn't intentionally send off in waves, but waves I had picked up on, nonetheless. I was able to recognize it because it mimicked my own sadness and my own feelings of inadequacy. Declan's state resulted from his relationship with his brother, and mine with my relationship with Kasey and Jennifer.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't sometimes feel as though they didn't need me in their lives. That their friendship with me wouldn't be detrimental to the continuation of their lives if it were to end. That I didn't feel their pity projected upon me, even if it was imagined. I had been drawn to Declan and continued to be drawn to him because he and I were like two peas in a pod. Our own worst enemy in a battle that did not exist outside of our own minds.
Declan didn't say anything and, for a while, neither did I. What could I say? What advice could I offer and hope he would take that I wasn't willing to take myself? Your innermost demons were a damn hard thing to get rid of; it went above and beyond simply asking them nicely to leave. There was no holy water nor prayers that could exorcise them away. They were a part of you and only you had the power to silence them. Nobody else. But when you lived with them for so long, the thought of parting with those demons—no longer your enemies but your companions—was, sometimes, inconceivable.
So, no, I wasn't going to push him into believing what he was not yet ready to accept. Instead, I climbed off of the couch and looked down at him. "How about some popcorn? You in the mood for popcorn?"
He smiled and nodded. "Sure."
I grabbed the empty bowls of snacks that Declan had pretty much consumed all by himself and made a break for the kitchen. Half way there, I heard the sound of a vibrating phone. "Mine or yours?" I shouted as I entered the kitchen.
"Yours!"
Again, I didn't have many numbers programmed into my phone, so every time it rang was truly a surprise. "Who is it?" I pulled a bag of popcorn from the pantry, shed the packaging and walked over to the microwave to pop it.
"It's. . .uh. . .oh, they hung up. I guess. . .I guess they might have dialed the, uh, wrong number."
There were far too many pauses in that response for me to believe that Declan wasn't lying through his teeth. Ignoring the popcorn, I headed straight back to the living room and stopped when I reached him at the couch. My phone, which had been carelessly tossed on the floor earlier, was now in his hand.
"Declan. . .?" My eyes narrowed in on him. "Who was it?"
"How's the popcorn coming along?"
"May I have my phone please?" I extended out my hand palm side up, expecting him to place my phone in it but he didn't immediately hand it over. He held my stare for a couple of seconds, then, very reluctantly, handed me my phone. "Thank you." Hitting a button on the screen, a missed call message appeared. I quickly unlocked my phone, navigated my way to the missed calls list until the name at the very top of the list appeared.
Jennifer.
Usually, I tried to keep my emotions under control. Usually. But as soon as my eyes drifted across her name, emotions I hadn't even expected to feel surfaced. Confusion. Anger. Betrayal. And it wasn't like me to give in to emotions so easily. To hand over the reins and allow them to steer me in whichever direction they wanted. Hours ago, I had been desperate and eager to call Jennifer, to find out what the hell was going on with her and the accusations against her. But now, as these range of emotions flooded my body and corrupted my mind, it was as if I had already come to the conclusion that she had wronged me.
I guess it was because she was the reason that Caleb was not currently with me. She was the reason why the pack I considered my family were currently putting their safety on the line at a time when they needed to lay low more than ever.
I turned my back on Declan at the exact moment I decided to return her calls once and for all.
"What are you doing?" Declan asked from behind me, his tone clearly laced with confusion.
"Calling her back." The phone range once. Twice. But before it could ring a third time, my phone was snatched out of my hand. I turned around to face Declan, just as he hit a button to, I assume, end the call. Before I could even protest, his gaze shot up from the screen to me. His eyes narrowed on me, his nostrils flaring due to the obvious anger written all over his face.
"Are you crazy?" He shoved my phone in his pocket then pulled out his own from the other. Not only was his tone absent of any sort of innocence or shyness that it usually held, but his entire body language and demeanor had changed as well. Gone was the little, shy wolf and now standing before me was a delta who seriously looked like he was going to shift any second. But I wasn't afraid; it was not my safety I feared to be in jeopardy. Declan was in protective mode and I recognized it because I had seen that same persona engulf Caleb countless times before.
He turned his back on me and started walking towards the hallway. "What are you doing?" He lifted his phone to his ear. "Who are you calling?" I had a pretty damned good idea who he was calling. "Declan, you better not be calling him!" I chased after him, praying to the high heavens that Caleb did not answer. "Declan, wait! Please, just hold on for a second!" He turned to face me but didn't pull the phone from his ear.
Now, I was not a violent person by nature. At least, I didn't think that I was. So when I literally threw myself at Declan and grabbed the phone from his ear, I swear it wasn't me. I just remembered thinking that I had to end that call by any means necessary. I think Declan was just as surprised as I was at my audacity and strength because he gave me a very puzzled look as opposed to snatching the phone back from my hands.
Glancing down at the screen, I ended the call. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth, but it couldn't be enjoyed just yet. I looked up at Declan, wanting to yell at him yet half expecting and waiting for him to yell at me. But, surprisingly, he didn't, so neither did I. "Declan, I need to talk to her. No, I have to talk to her. She's . . .she's my best friend and she has been for fifteen years. I have to see her—"
"Absolutely not!"
"I know her, Declan. Better than you and Caleb and the entire pack."
"And I know danger. I know threat and manipulation. I know every tactic in the book, Ava-Rain."
"You just don't understand," I tried to argue.
"If you're not careful, you're going to get hurt." I'm sure he didn't want to, but he softened his tone. "You trust too easily." He didn't say it like it was meant to implicate a fault, but, rather, like an observation.
But it was true. I did trust too easily. I always believed that people deserved the benefit of the doubt. A fair shot. Even if they were horrible. Even if they proved that they could not be trusted. I always had to learn it for myself because if I didn't trust so easily, I would get hurt regardless. If I didn't trust so easily, then I would be alone, shutting out everybody and accepting nobody.
"You said that they didn't get it," I took a step closer to Declan. What I was about to do, what I was about to say wasn't going to be fair to him and, if I were him, I would probably never forgive me. "That your pack, they didn't understand your relationship with Rickon. Why you fight, why you trigger each other. It's the same with Jennifer and I. We fight. We stop talking. We make up. That's what we do. It's what we've always done. I just. . .I need to face her. I need to look her in the eyes to see if. . ." I paused, dropping my gaze for only a second before returning it to Declan. "If I did trust her too easily."
Jaw clenched and fists balled at his side, he slowly shook his head. "Do you know what you're asking of me? You're asking me to disobey my alpha! To put my alpha's mate in possible danger! I can't believe I'm even considering this."
I took another step closer. "You can come with me."
"Or lock you in the bedroom!"
"Or come with me."
He brushed past me as he ran his hand through his hair, much like in the way Caleb did whenever he was deep in thought or contemplation, or whenever I just plain irritated him to the point where he was fed up. I didn't mean to, but a smile took hold of my lips at how similar Declan and Caleb sometimes were.
I turned to keep him in my line of vision, watched him as he walked to the center of the living room for a moment before turning to face me.
"Thirty minutes, Ava-Rain. And not a millisecond longer. I mean it." He took a couple of steps towards me. "If I even think for one second that something's out of place, we leave. No questions asked. No whining. No powers of persuasion."
"I don't whine," I mumbled, which only earned a glare from him. "Got it. Promise."
He shook his head again. "Caleb isn't going to be happy."
"Assuming he finds out, I'll take all the blame." I closed the space between us and laced my fingers through his. "Thank you, Declan."
He didn't say anything, just stared down at me as, I'm sure, a million thoughts were racing through his mind. He reached into his pocket and pulled out my phone. Dropping his hand, I took it, released a deep breath and dialed Jennifer's number.
* * *
Stepping out of the car, I glanced briefly at Declan for a second then to the surrounding area. This was where Jennifer had told me to meet her, a park not too far from her house. The sun had almost finished setting, leaving splashes of colour painted across the sky.
I knew the park well, had hung out with Kasey and Jennifer there numerous times. Like a typical park, it had it's main attraction of swings and slides for the younger kids, a couple of graffitied benches and some drinking fountains. But that wasn't what had attracted the three of us. Apart from the playground, the park was surrounded by forestry that could be reached through a short little bridge. The woods, for the most part, was manmade, complete with trails for joggers and those that wished to walk their dogs. But the trails only went so far before they circled back to, I guess you could say, the 'safe' part of the forest. For the more daring folks—those that didn't stick to the trails—the deeper you travelled into the forest, the further away from civilization you became. It had been a while since Kasey, Jennifer and I had been to the park, longer since we actually went deep inside the forest section of the park. When there were more cigarette butts and empty bottles of alcohol than actual grass and dirt, suddenly the forest did not seem as appealing anymore.
But Jennifer had not told me to meet her inside the forest like I expected. She had simply asked me to meet her at the park, more specifically at the bridge. The bridge itself was a bit of a trek from the playground area, and you would have to cross a field of grass in order to reach it. The street lamps lining the park were beginning to flicker on in anticipation of the night's arrival. If Declan and I were to make the journey across the grass to the bridge, it would be done without the aid of artificial light.
"The bridge is just over there," I said to Declan, pointing off to left of where we were currently standing. But as I took a step to begin walking in the direction of the bridge, Declan's hand immediately grabbed my arm, stopping me before I could take another. I looked at him, his attention focused on the park. His eyes were scanning over it, darting in each and every direction. "Talk to me, Declan."
He looked down at me. "Just doing a quick sweep. My senses aren't as great as they would be if I were in wolf form."
"I'm sure we'd see if there were wolves around us, Declan. Come on, let's go." Instead of leading the way, I waited for him to make the first move, and when he did, I followed.
He dropped his hand from my arm, but kept a very close distance in front of me. "Stay close and stay behind me at all times."
Initially, it was my intention to talk to Jennifer alone, but knew there was no way that was going to happen. Declan would never have gone for that so I didn't even bother to make the suggestion. Neither of us were oblivious to the fact that I was meeting with the very person that Caleb and his pack were supposed to be tracking. The smartest thing I could have and should have done would have been to call Caleb to tell him what was going down. To inform him that I was meeting with Jennifer. But, like I explained to Declan, I needed to be sure. I needed to do this for me, without outside interference. I needed to be certain that we weren't making something out of nothing.
Half way across the park, I pulled out my phone. When we first arrived, I had sent a text to Jennifer informing her of my arrival. Now, looking down at the phone, instead of being annoyed that she had not replied, I found it odd. "She hasn't responded yet," I said to Declan as we continued walking, but because my attention was pulled down to my phone, I hadn't noticed that he stopped until I crashed into his solid body from behind.
"Sorry," I said as he steadied me. His abrupt stop was so sudden that I looked around the park wondering what could have been the reason but saw nothing. The park was literally abandoned, and from what I could see, Declan and I were the only ones around for miles. My eyes found their way back to Declan but before I could speak, he lifted a finger to his lips, signaling me to be silent.
Similar to the way he had done so back at the condo, Declan transformed into protective mode. My heart began to beat a little faster, the adrenaline accelerating through my veins caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. There wasn't even the slightest trace of a breeze that I could blame for the goosebumps that marred the skin on my bare arms.
Then I heard it. Heard what Declan and his heightened sense of sound must have heard. First, the rustling of trees and the very distinct sound of branches breaking. Then, the sound of something approaching. Something coming closer.
My eyes darted in every direction, trying to locate where the source was coming from. But they didn't have to search for very long because there, in the very short distance away to where the bridge was, a very large wolf emerged out of the darkness of the forest behind it. Declan turned his attention towards it, as my own could not be torn away from the animal's amber eyes. It did not move. It just simply stared at us, not as though it seemed uninterested, but almost as if it was waiting. My theories were soon proven true when, I kid you not, a second equally large wolf emerged from the darkness and stood to the left of the wolf.
Pure bloods.
Flashes from the night I was attacked clouded my mind. The level of fear that I had felt that night engulfing my body, the pain and terror the wolf had inflicted upon me, all came flooding back to me in that very moment. But, as if that wasn't enough, now the obvious confirmation of Jennifer's betrayal further intensified my mental pain and anguish.
Caleb had been right. Jennifer had set me up. Jennifer had betrayed me. She had actually betrayed me and that was a wound that cut deeper and hurt more than anything the wolf had inflicted upon me all those nights ago.
Declan quickly turned around and took my face in his hands, demanding without so much as a word that my eyes retreat away from the wolves in the distance to his. "Listen to me, Ava-Rain." The light in his blue eyes was diminishing, his gaze darkened as it was obvious his wolf was rising to the surface. "I want you to run back to the car and drive to you know where. Do not stop for any reason until you get there."
"Come with me," I pleaded.
He dropped his hands from my face, reached into his pocket and shoved his car keys, along with his red and green bracelet, into my hands. "You promised you'd listen to me, now go!"
But it wasn't me that had moved, but the second wolf near the bridge. And it didn't just move, it broke out into a run. The earth beneath us shook, the pounding of the wolf's paws boomed like thunder in the sky. Declan turned me around and gave me a push but I still didn't run. I couldn't leave him. Not now. Not when this was all my fault. I had given Jennifer the benefit of the doubt, trusted her too easily as Declan said, and now it was going to cost me.
But I would be damned if that cost was going to be Declan.
I quickly turned back to face him, my attention solely on him and not the wolf closing in on the space between us. Declan's eyes were no longer blue but a very faint amber. He was going to shift. At any moment, he was going to shift into wolf form and he wanted me no where near him once he did. A deep growl escaped him—a warning directed at me.
Leave.
But, with the diminishing space between the pure blood and us, Declan's attention was no longer concerned on whether or not I heeded his warning. He tore of his shirt and began running towards the wolf. The first wolf still remained at the bridge but was pacing back and forth with its eyes trained and set in my direction. Even from where I stood, I could hear its terrifyingly threatening growls. And then it occurred to me, as my eyes darted back and forth between Declan and the wolf he was going to take on, that the first wolf was waiting. Waiting for an opportunity to strike. That the second wolf was merely there to create a diversion.
Which meant that the first wolf wanted me.
Then, right before my eyes, Declan shifted into wolf form, the remainder of his clothing scattered in bits and pieces on the grass. His shifting did not come at a moment too soon because seconds later he was engaged in a full on fight with the second pure blood. Their snarls and growls echoed throughout the entire park, the struggle with their bodies caused the earth to rumble beneath me. Declan managed to wrestle the wolf to the ground and stood over it, his teeth lunging for its throat. But before he could make contact, the wolf beneath him broke free and forced Declan to the ground.
"Declan!" My heart sank. Fear, dread and anxiety for Declan hit me like a ton of bricks. The pure blood was bigger. It was stronger. It was faster. And as it continued to overpower and out maneuver Declan, tears began to sting my eyes. The pure blood was on top of Declan in a victorious stance, willing Declan to submit.
It was only then that I finally found the motivation to run.
Shoving the keys and Declan's bracelet into my pockets, I ran towards the two wolves, my mind focused only on saving Declan. "Declan!" I shouted. "Get off of him! Please! Please don't hurt him!" A thick branch laying in the grass caught my attention and I picked it up. I didn't know how much damage it would possibly do against the gigantic pure blood, but I was going to do anything and everything I could to protect Declan.
For a brief moment, however, my eyes were coerced in the direction of the bridge, when I realized that the first pure blood was no longer pacing but charging in the direction of where its partner and Declan were still struggling. The same direction I was headed.
Because I wasn't nearly as fast, the first wolf was much closer to them than I had been. And just as I thought that it was going to be two on one, that Declan was surely going to be mauled to death, the first wolf leaped over the two of them and landed halfway between me and the others. The impact of the wolf's landing caused me to stumble right onto my butt.
Its amber eyes glowed like fire, its mouth pulled back into a snarl. Slowly, it stalked its way towards me, its growls getting louder with each passing second. I knew it was trying to draw my attention away from Declan, which only made me angry. I clutched the branch in a tighter grip as my eyes remained on the approaching wolf. I didn't want to abandon Declan by drawing my thoughts away from him, but I had to. And so I did. I focused on the wolf's steps. Tried to anticipate how long it would take before it reached me. Tried to figure out in which exact second I would raise the branch and strike.
Fear was no longer an emotion I was feeling and even if it were, I would have been determined not to show it. There was no place for fear in that moment. I no longer had any right to feel it. When the wolf was where I wanted it, I scrambled to my feet and gripped the branch in preparation to strike, but the wolf was faster. Much faster.
My butt had become reacquainted with the ground before I could even make sense of what happened. The branch was no longer in my hands, but tossed far out of my reach after the wolf ripped it out of my hands with its mouth. The pure blood was so close to me that I could see my own reflection in its glowing eyes. Its head leaned in close to mine, the drool from its mouth dripped onto my legs. The air from its heavy breaths were blowing my curly strands of hair out of my face. It continued to lean in until its nose pressed against my neck.
It sniffed. Once. Twice. Three times. Then it pulled away, took a step back and began to circle me like a shark circled its prey before attacking and devouring it. When it was behind me, I took that opportunity to glance at Declan. He was still thrashing around underneath the pure blood hovered over him, who looked like it was ready to kill Declan but simply waiting for the order from its partner. I could tell that Declan's main focus, however, wasn't on his foe but on me. On trying to protect me.
Then, Declan was obstructed from my view once more when the first wolf came back to stand in front of me. Again, it leaned in as if to sniff me again, but that time I pushed its head away. But the moment my hands made contact with its head, flashes and images had burst inside of my mind at such an impossible speed that I couldn't make any sense of them. My head felt like it was going to explode, the series of images invading my mind were so painful that my eyes were forced shut.
The sound of a howl was the only thing that stopped the pain and stopped the images. When I opened my eyes, a little disorientated from whatever the hell that was, I realized that the howl came from the first wolf. That it was a command. The very command that the second pure blood had been waiting so patiently for.
The command to kill.
My gaze was forced in Declan's direction at the very moment the pure blood sunk his teeth into his side. "No!" I yelled, watching as Declan's blood erupted like lava from his wounds and spilled onto the grass. "Stop! Please, stop! You're killing him! Please!" But my shouts and pleas were useless because the second wolf only bit Declan again.
I looked at the wolf closest to me, his attention already trained in my direction. A darkness I had never felt before flooded over me as I held the wolf's gaze. I wanted to kill it. I wanted to inflict every ounce of pain upon the wolf that it was allowing its friend to inflict upon Declan. I wanted to watch it take its last breath and smile in content knowing that I was going to deliver its death.
But that wasn't going to happen.
I had already been defeated.
"Know that he will find you," I said firmly. A single tear fell from my eyes and burned a trail down my cheek. A tear for Declan, whose cries of pain I could hear in the distance. A tear for the chance I would never get to say goodbye to Caleb, to tell him how sorry I was for risking his delta's life, or tell him that I loved him. A tear for Rickon, who was going to lose his brother because of my stupid and careless actions. A tear for the pack that I would never get to know better, the pack that had put their lives on the line for me. A single tear for all of the things that I wished I could say and for the things that I wished I had never done. "And when he does, I pray to Luna that he kills you."
The wolf growled and lunged at me, but a howl immediately stilled it and I didn't have to glance behind me to know why. I knew that howl all too well. I glared at the wolf, whose attention was solely focused on the big black wolf I felt was near.
And it was his presence that gave me the little bit of confidence to whisper a final warning to the pure blood who dared to touch what did not belong to him.
"I'd run if I were you."
* * * *
Authour's Note: First, sorry that this chapter was SUPER long, but for those of you that made it to the end, 'YOU THE REAL MVP!'. Second, to ALL of my Declan fans out there. . .I'm sorry. :(