FUNNY SAYINGS TIME!! Sayings, quotes and phrases!
I've made up a list of some funny sayings that you humorous people should be familiar with!
You're awesome *Click Click*
No, that wasn't a funny saying :).... *Awkward silence*
Okay moving on... Here they are! -___- (Most of them -if not all- are true!)
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1. A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
2. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
3. There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them.
4. When women go wrong, men go right after them.
5. You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo.
6. I went too a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.
7. We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
8. Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
9. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
10. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
11. If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
12. The road to success is always under construction.
13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14. Death is hereditary.
15. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
16. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
17. He who laughs last, didn't get it.
18. We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before police.
19. I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
20. Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
21. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
22. Constipated people don't give a crap.
23. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
24. If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet? (MAYDAY PARADE BAYBEHH!)
25. I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
26. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are Footprints on the moon…
27. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
28. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
29. I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
30. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
31. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
32. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
33. There are three kinds of people in this world those who can count and those who cant.
34. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.
35. This sentence is a lie.