"Are you sure you don't want me to do this by myself?" Alice asks me for the hundredth time. "I wouldn't mind if I have to get the boxes from his house alone. I would completely understand.”
I shake my head, "Its fine and I don't want to pass down my entire burden to you, Alice." I reply, shifting in my seat on the shotgun side.
I arrived in New York yesterday and I'm staying with Alice in her flat just within the city. Given the situation between me and Liam right now, I know it wouldn't be right of me to stay in the house he bought here in New York - even if that was the plan in the first place.
We're both headed to his house to get the boxes that he had sent over a few days before. That was before we broke up, before we ended things between us. Well, before I ended things between us. I shake the thought away, not wanting to remember Liam's sad and hurt expression on his face.
Niall had sent the spare key of Liam's house. Bless him for being so kind to me even if I broke the heart of his best mate. I’m pretty sure the other boys, unlike Niall, are mad at me for what I did to Liam. But I completely understand their anger towards me. That is, if they are angry with me.
“And we’re here.” Alice says, turning off the car’s engine. “Are you really sure you want to come? You can just stay in the car, you know.” she suggests.
I sigh, smiling at her, “Alice, for the very last time, I am going inside my ex-boyfriend’s house to get my things. And if you’re scared that I might start crying the moment I step inside his threshold, you are very wrong cousin.” I tell her, stepping out of the car. I get the keys Niall had sent over, out of my pocket.
I walk towards the front door, with Alice following closely behind. I unlock the door and slowly turn the door knob. Once inside, I smile at the sight of the boxes placed right in front of us. We wouldn’t have to start looking for it around the house.
I pick up one box, finding it quite heavy, “There are six boxes, so I carry three and you carry the other three.” I tell Alice, looking at her only to see that her jaw is hanging. “Alice!” I shout her name, trying to catch her attention.
Her jaw finally comes back to its place and she smiles widely at me. “This house is so beautiful!” she squeals, spinning around in her place.
“Yeah, yeah.” I reply, heading out towards the door.
“Let’s take a quick look around his house. I’m sure Liam wouldn’t mind. Besides, he’d never know – unless we tell him. Which we won’t!” she says, sounding very excited.
“Alice, don’t – “ but I was too late. The moment I turn around to face her – she’s gone. I can hear footsteps going up the grand staircase. I sigh, putting the box back to the floor. I take a look around me; I guess a quick look around the house wouldn’t hurt. Right?
I head to the living room, finding it fully furnished. Liam must have had someone to set up the whole house before I arrived so I wouldn’t have to worry about all the unpacking. But now, that’s all changed. This house is such a waste, and I’m feeling quite guilty alright. He bought this house for me to stay in, and now that we’re no longer together, no one will stay here. Sure, Liam will come around and sleep in here but that’s like only once or twice a year since he tours around and usually stays in London.
Speaking of London, goodness, I miss that place to pieces - the weather, the places, the people, everything. I miss Dad most of all. I take my phone out of my pocket and decide to give him a call. I dial his number and after two rings, he picks up.
“Hey Honey.” he greets, sounding happy that I called. “How are you doing there?” he asks.
“Hi Dad.” I greet back, smiling at the sound of his voice. “I’m doing fine. Just missing you and London.” I tell him honestly.
“I miss you too, honey.” he replies. “So, have you settled in Alice’s place?” he asks.
I nod, forgetting that he couldn’t see me. “Almost. I’m just getting my boxes from Liam’s place.” I say.
“Ah.” he replies, giving out a sigh. “Look, honey, whenever you want to talk about it – I’m here. Both my ears are patient listeners.”
I smile, “Thanks Dad. And I’m not quite sure about your ears being patient listeners.” I tease, giving out a laugh.
“Hey, stop messing with your old man.” he says, joining in my laughter.
“Where are you right now?” I ask him.
“We’re currently in the recording studio. The boys are recording their songs for their new album.” Dad replies. I suddenly hear a loud bang from upstairs. Alice must have dropped something; I hope it’s not broken. “What was that?” Dad asks, apparently he heard it too.
“I have no clue but it must be Alice. I’ll go check it out, I’ll call you late Dad.” I say, running up the grand staircase.
“Okay, kid. Take care and love you.” he says.
“Love you too, Dad.” I reply, ending the call and immediately putting it in my pocket. “Alice?” I call out, hoping she’d hear me. The second floor is quite wide too and there are more than three rooms up here.
“In here.” she replies, her voice coming out of a bedroom just a few steps away. I run towards it and once I’m in the room’s doorway, I see her picking something up from the floor.
“What did you drop? Is it broken?” I ask, walking towards her.
She stands up to look at me, smiling cheekily. “A picture frame and no, it’s not broken.” she replies, handing me a frame.
I take it from her and once I see the picture in the frame, my heart skips a beat. It’s a picture of Liam and me with him hugging me from behind, whispering something in my ear – probably something hilarious. I can tell from the way I was laughing in the picture. I look around the room – this must be our bedroom. There’s a huge bed in the middle of the room and above the fireplace are frames with pictures in them.
I walk towards the frames to look at the pictures. I smile once I lay my eyes on the picture of Liam, Lux and I in the park. We were all smiling and having a really good time. The picture was taken when we were in the park – before Liam and I were a couple.
Another frame had a picture of me laughing as Liam was lying on top of me in the ice skating rink. It was when he fell on top of me whilst we were skating. He finally had the guts to step in the skating rink because he was jealous that I was talking to Anthony.
“I’m guessing he took all these pictures from Google.” Alice says, laughing.
I nod, laughing along. “Where else would he have gotten it?”
“I guess the paparazzo are actually quite useful. Thanks to them, he got all these pictures.” Alice points out, taking a picture frame. “I think I like this one best. It’s a great picture.” she says, showing it to me.
It was a picture of Liam and I slow-dancing when we had dinner in the Eiffel Tower. Indeed, it’s a great picture – with all the lights in the background and with Liam and I looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. I shake the thought away, not wanting to remember all those memories. The past is the past.
My phone rings, interrupting me from my thoughts. I take it out of my pocket to see that Niall’s calling in Skype. I accept it and his face fills up my whole screen.
“Hey, there!” he says happily.
“Nialler!” I reply, smiling at my phone’s front camera. “Are you done recording?” I ask.
He nods, “I’m the only one done recording my part so I get to chill for a while.” he replies. “Wait, how did you know that we were recording?” he asks.
I smile, “I called my Dad earlier and I asked him where he was and so he told me.” I reply. “How’s the album going?” I ask.
“It’s going really great! I’m so excited for this album.” he replies happily and very excitedly. “So, where are you right now?” he asks.
“I’m currently at Liam’s place. Alice and I are here to pick up my boxes.” I tell him.
"Enjoying New York?" he asks.
"I'm starting to, I think. Though I miss London so much, it's crazy." I confess.
He laughs lightly, "Then get your bum back here!" he says.
"I had a life there, Niall. And now, I'm starting a life here. My job's here and I have no choice but to stay here." I remind him.
He nods, "Then maybe the boys and I can visit you whenever we're there." he says, making my body stiffen up. Including Liam? "Only the four of us, Lexi. I know what you're thinking." he adds.
I force a smile, "Promise to visit me when you're here, Nialler." I say.
He nods, then shows his pinky finger to his camera, "I pinky promise." he says in a childish way, making me laugh.
"So, how have you been doing, Niall?" I ask him.
"I've been quite stressed lately, to be honest. But so far, so good." he replies with a smile. "How about you?" he asks.
I smile wryly, "I'm fine."
He looks at me seriously, "No, really. How have you been?" he asks again, with a serious tone this time.
"It's the truth!" I tell him.
"Fine, whatever you say then." he says, not wanting to force me to tell him how I've been really doing.
I sigh, “He has picture of us in the room, Niall.”
“Oh.” he says, “Maybe –“ but before he could continue what he was saying, Harry’s voice interrupts him.
“Liam! Get back in the recording studio! You need to finish recording!” we hear Harry say.
I look worriedly at Niall, “Keep quiet. Don’t say anything.” Niall instructs me. He turns off his video but not the call, so I can still hear them talking. I hear the door open and two people entering the room – probably Harry and Liam.
“Why should I? There’s no point! The people I’m doing this for, hurt my girlfriend - the one person I love so much. And because of them, she’s gone! She’s gone, Harry! Do you hear me?!” I hear Liam shout angrily.
“Yes, Liam. We hear you. You’re shouting at the top of your lungs, how could we not hear you?” Harry replies, sounding really annoyed. “But still, you have to do this - for us and for your career. This is what you love to do, Liam. This is your dream so don’t throw it away. You have come this far, don’t’ give up now.”
I hear Liam sigh heavily. “Fine, I’ll finish recording.” he finally says. I hear the door open and Niall turns on his video again.
“Does that happen every day?” I ask.
“More like every hour.” Harry replies, he still hasn’t left the room. “You need to come back, Lexi. Liam is going out of his mind. It’s crazy! He’s starting to get into everyone’s nerves.” he tells me. “Now I know how Liam feels.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused.
“When Harry’s going through a rough break-up with someone, he does what Liam’s doing – whining, complaining, and questioning everything we have to do. Liam would be the one to talk some sense into Harry.” Niall explains as I nod in reply. “So now, they’ve switched places.”
“Are you really not coming back, Lexi?” Harry asks sadly. “We miss you. The girls miss you. Liam misses you.”
I shake my head, “It’s for the best.” I tell him.
“I don’t think so. If breaking up with Liam was for the best, how come it’s affecting him this badly? Including you.” he points out.
“I’m not strong enough to handle all the hate, Harry.” I explain. “And I don’t think I ever will be.”
“But your love was strong, and it still is. That’s all that matters.” Niall says.
“I’m sorry boys, but what you want to happen won’t happen. It’s too complicated.” I tell them, not wanting to get their hopes up.
“Then un-complicate it.” Niall says. “It can’t be that hard.”
“You don’t understand.” I say, giving out a sigh
“Look, boys, I miss you two but I really have to go. I need to finish unpacking all my things and I really need to bring these boxes back home.” I tell them. “I will talk to you when I’m free. Take care!”
They both nod, “Take care Lexi.” Harry says, waving.
“We miss you.” Niall adds, also smiling and waving.
I smile and wave back at them, and then I end the call. I look around the room, to see Alice standing by the door frame.
“You and I both know that they’re right. It can’t be that hard to un-complicate your relationship.” Alice says.
“As long as your relationship with someone attracts the media and crazy fans, it’s bound to be complicated and there’s no way to un-complicate it, Alice.” I tell her. “Besides, it’s too late. I’ve hurt him badly and I can’t just run back to him, expecting him to accept me with open arms. Not that I have any plans to do so.”
“So, you’re just going to move on and try to forget him?” she asks.
I nod, “I’ll try my best.” I say, trying to sound convincing.
But I can tell from Alice’s expression that she doesn’t believe me.
Honestly, I don’t even think that I believe myself. But I know that the day will finally come when I will. The day when I will finally be able to believe myself that I can move on from something that will forever be a part of my life.
-:-:-:-:-:-
I KNOW. It took me forever to upload this chapter, and for that, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
I traveled to different places to visit a few of my closest relatives and also to attend a friend's funeral. Classes also started this month and I didn't have the time to post this chapter. If you're a university student, studying in one of the most prestigous universities in the world, and taking up Biology, then I'm sure you'd understand.
I've received some hateful and very rude comments and messages about me not updating. Again, I'm really sorry. I understand that you are all eager to read the next chapter, but please, I'm only human. I have feelings too.
For those who stood up for me, THANK YOU. It feels good to know that there are people out there who understand you even if they don't know you personally. And for those who continue to support this story despite my late uploads, a MASSIVE THANK YOU. This story means a lot to me.
Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm sorry if you're not satisfied with it. I did my best. And again, I'm only human.
Katie