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By Shy_Girl14

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Reviews
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Big Surprise

14 2 0
By Shy_Girl14


Sulexsix

Plot and Idea: Eh


Genre: Horror


Summary: Emily just wanted to give Victor the big surprise


My Review: You lack many thing In your story. The dialogue is very confusing and you need to work on your punctuation. The cover could be a bit better if you'd like to generate more reads. The paragraphs seem to be properly formatted, though you need to work a bit on bettering your description. The characters need a little more umph in order to really be interesting and relatable when conversation.  


You need a little work on your sentence structure and the development of your characters. Your spacing is fine, though the pace needs to be slowed down a bit. The tense should be more solid in order to give your readers a better understanding of your story and it's flow. So, overall this makes the story feel like a normal fiction story rather than a horror fiction.


Rating: 5.1


Overall: This story needs some work if you'd really like to capture attention of readers.


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