Maddie hardly slept at all that night in the windmill, what with the crashing news from John that there was no way home for them and the revelation that he had feelings for her. She found her mind could not rest with this knowledge.
Surprisingly it was the idea that John liked her that gave her the most trouble that night and as she walked behind him the next day towards Dylan's camp. Maddie could not help but admire how good he looked in the uniform of the 1st. There was now a quiet confidence in John that Maddie thought must have come from surviving alone in this strange world.
"This is where Dylan found us last time; I hope that he has not moved on."
"I don't think so Lana and I am sure it will not be long before he descends upon us again."
John thought that he detected a note of irritation in Maddie's voice.
"It seems Dylan is not exactly your favourite ex-Cad."
Once again Maddie found herself Impressed by the new Improved John Harrison.
"You know that he was once a Cad then?"
John smiled broadly.
"With that military bearing and insufferable arrogance I would not be surprised if he had been a member of the 1st."
It was Maddie's turn to smile.
"Dylan is not the only Cad that is at the camp you know, it is not unusual for them to desert because they cannot take the discipline."
"Is that right Lana?"
Lana loved that John took such a keen interest in what she had to say.
"Oh yes I would say at least a third of the camp came from the Academies."
John looked at Maddie.
"You see Phoebe neither side is content at the way this society treats them."
Why tell me thought Maddie?
"That has nothing to do with me or you for that matter, in this world or any other you take care of yourself."
A disappointed John turned to Lana.
"Is that right Lana do you just take care of yourself and not give a care for those around you?"
Lana thought about this for a moment.
"If that was right then Maddie would not have helped me and stop calling her Phoebe it is very confusing."
Maddie looked at her young friend and tried to explain.
"I helped you because I could that is very different than looking after everyone, I am not equipped to do that and my name is Phoebe Maddison. Only my friends call me Maddie and John has never been my friend."
Lana thought she saw John wince at Maddie's last words.
"Dylan tries to help everyone that comes to him so if you help him then I think you will be helping us all."
The girl's logic was simple and Maddie could not find fault in it.
"Let's just wait for him to come and fetch you Lana."
They settled in to wait for Dylan to find them.
"You see her point don't you? If we can unite them then we can form an opposition to the State."
Maddie was not convinced by John's argument and thought Lana naïve.
John was the first to be alerted to the fact that they were no longer alone.
"There is someone here, they are circling around us."
John looked as though he was getting prepared to fight as Dylan appeared.
"You made it back then!"
"You get a degree in stating the obvious when we were gone then?"
Dylan looked suitably offended at Maddie's insolence as Lysette took up position by his side.
"Your mouth never gets any less smart does it Maddie?"
Maddie barely heard Dylan as she watched Lysette's eyes fix on John.
"Where did you get that uniform?"
Lysette asked this in such a confrontational way that John became immediately wary of the athletic blonde.
"I need to have a word with you Dylan but I think it prudent that we get Lana back safely first."
Lysette did not like it that John had chosen to ignore her question completely.
"You will answer my question or I will beat the truth out of you."
For the first time John looked directly at Lysette.
"Spoken like a true Cad, ask questions first and when you don't get the answers that you want resort to violence."
As the two squared up to each other in anticipation of the fight to come Dylan spoke.
"That is enough Lissa we will find out more from John when we return to the camp and if his answers are not to our satisfaction then maybe I will just give him over to you."
Lysette immediately stood down while John remained on full alert.
"You take orders well blondie and that will be how I will defeat your sorry arse."
Maddie was amazed at the brazen attitude John was displaying.
"John it is alright we will just bring back Lana and leave."
John nodded in compliance but he did not think that Dylan had any intention of letting them leave without getting answers.
It was over and though the tension between Lysette and John remained there was no question of them clashing at least not for the time being.
Maddie whispered to John as they were escorted back to the camp.
"You should show Lissa some respect she is the best fighter they have and I have seen her moves which are incredible."
John did not look too worried and did not seem to be taking Maddie's warning seriously.
"It is alright Phoebe I can see that she is not a pushover and I am not stupid enough to take her lightly."
Maddie fell silent as she thought that John was not really listening.
"John I bet that Lysette can kick your ass."
Of course it was Lana being her cheeky self.
"That maybe so Lana but this arse won't go down without a fight and by the way stop thinking about my arse."
Maddie was grateful for the humour but could not help but feel it was out of place.
"You two are idiots and should shut up before I kick both of your arses."
John wanted to tell Maddie to stop thinking about his arse to but thought better of it after looking at her dark expression.
Back at the campsite Dylan directed John to sit by the fire while he took Lissa aside and put his hand on her shoulder. The others could not hear what he said to her but were relieved to watch her walk back away from them.
"You wished to talk to me and I am intrigued to hear what you have to say but right now we are all tired and I think it in our best interest to wait until the morning."
As Dylan walked away Maddie noticed he stopped to give orders to two of his more capable men.
"I think that they will be watching over you tonight John."
A smile followed by a full on yawn was not the response Maddie expected.
"You are taking all of this very lightly John; I mean you are in a serious predicament. I think that Lissa wants to kill you and Dylan might just let her do so."
"I can take care of myself Phoebe and I can assure you that I take Lissa very seriously indeed."
"I should tell you that the only one that calls her Lissa is Dylan so if you want to get on her good side I should call her Lysette if I were you."
That is not true thought John as he had clearly heard Maddie address her by Lissa at least once.
"Thanks for the info it might come in useful if we do actually come to blows which I very much doubt anyway."
That was it there was no helping him thought Maddie.
"I am going now; I hope you have fun with your new friends."
Maddie pointed at the two boys Dylan had spoken to and was astonished to see John wave cheerily at them.
Lana was still up when Maddie arrived at their hut.
"John is so handsome and brave Maddie you are very lucky to have him."
Maddie looked angrily back at the poor girl.
"What the hell are you talking about Lana? John Harrison is the reason I am here and I want no part of that fool."
Maddie knew even before the harsh words had left her mouth that they were not strictly true.
"But Maddie you must see the way that he looks at you, it is the same way that Lysette looks at Dylan."
If that were true then John was being honest when he said that he liked her and if he truly looked at her in the way Lissa looked at Dylan it could be much more.
"You are being silly Lana Lissa is in love with Dylan and everyone can see that."
"Yes I know and I am sure that everyone will see the same from John."
Maddie really liked Lana but sometimes she had some strange notions in her young head.
"Lana now it is you that are touched and if you don't go to sleep immediately I will tell everyone that is the case."
Lana turned away from Maddie but could not resist teasing her a little before going to sleep.
"John Harrison loves Phoebe Maddison, Phoebe Maddison loves John Harrison."
Lana repeated these words over and over in a childish mantra until Maddie gave her a swift kick in the butt.
"Goodnight Lana and any more nonsense from you and I will throw you out with the wolves."
Maddie had no idea if there were wolves in this world or if Lana had even heard of such animals but it seemed to do the trick as the cheeky young girl fell silent for the night.
The morning came around all too slowly and Maddie found herself looking forward to seeing John more than she thought possible. She told herself that it was because he was from her own world and nothing more but was not altogether sure if that was true.
"You seem to have started without me."
Dylan and John looked up at hearing this.
"Good morning Maddie or is it Phoebe?"
Ignoring Dylan's question Maddie stood opposite Lysette who looked in a foul mood.
"Morning Lissa it is a lovely day to be leaving your charming company."
The look upon the tall blonde girl's face only got darker as Maddie baited her.
"You really should not tease Lissa it is not the healthiest pastime. Besides you are not leaving today or anytime soon."
Maddie was not about to be told when she could leave this place or any other for that matter.
"I would like to see you and your band of apes stop me from leaving Dylan."
Dylan's mood, this morning, seemed the complete opposite of Lissa's as he answered pleasantly.
"Don't be so dramatic I told you once already that you are free to leave anytime you please. It is just from what John here has been saying it will not be safe to do so for some time as yet."
"It's true Phoebe the whole country is riled up and if we try to get back home now then we will almost certainly encounter one or more of the Academies patrols."
"So you propose that we stay here until it is safe for us to go, is that the gist of it?"
John looked earnestly at Maddie and nodded.
"You are not staying anywhere near me until you answer some questions."
It was Lissa and this time there would be no placating her.
"You again it seems that you are like a dog with a bone."
Dylan once again got in between them.
"You two are going to have to learn to get along and in the spirit of co-operation I think you need to tell us how you happen to be wearing the uniform of the 1st."
A sigh of acquiescence issued forth from John.
"It was loaned to me by the group that I have been staying with for the last six months. I am the only one that the uniform fitted properly."
"Do you happen to know where this so-called group acquired the uniform in the first place?"
Lysette's question was delivered with a hard edge to it.
"My dear Lissa I am happy to let you know that no children or animals were hurt in the acquisition of this uniform."
It was clear to everyone around John that Lysette was beginning to lose patience and that Dylan was the only reason she had not attacked.
"Look John it is a reasonable question and I know that Lissa can sometimes be a little pushy but I would appreciate it if you could answer it properly."
Maddie was mightily impressed at how diplomatic Dylan could be when he wanted.
"It is a work village near Capital city, they took me in when I had nothing and I have been with them ever since. They came by the uniform when one of the 1st's Cadets took a fancy to one of the girls in the village. He was a little drunk or more like a lot drunk and when he passed out the girl and a few friends relieved him of the uniform leaving him with a tale to tell when he got back."
Dylan looked to Lissa to see if she was satisfied.
"Do you know what they will do to that Cadet for losing his uniform?"
John thought about this before answering.
"I would think that he would be punished severely and that is why I do not think he reported the incident. If he had the village would have been raided and the girl found and that did not happen."
Lysette still looked far from satisfied.
"Lissa it does make a kind of sense, just wait here and I will see if I can verify his story."
Although clearly unhappy with the story that John had spun, Lysette agreed to wait until Dylan returned with news.
Inside his hut Dylan went through a large chest until he found at the bottom a satellite phone wrapped in old clothes.
"Patrice I have something I would like you to do for me, I want you to find out if a Cadet from the 1st has recently lost a uniform. It will not have been reported and you may have to do some digging to uncover the truth but it is Important."
The voice on the other end of the phone sounded distant and a little sketchy.
"Fine Dylan I will get on it and how are things out there in the wilderness?"
"They are fine and I trust everything is good in the city."
"You know how it is nothing changes except I miss you and Lysette, how is Lysette?"
"You know Lissa serious as a heart attack and beautiful as ever."
"You both belong here in the city that country air is bad for you, it will kill you one of these days either that or a filthy Imp disease."
Dylan loved Patrice but it was always the same when he called.
"You know I can't come back and there is no point in going over old ground again."
"But you were the best of us and I know they would forgive your betrayal to have you lead the 1st again."
It was Patrice dreaming thought Dylan, the State forgave nothing and no-one.
"You and I both know that is not true and even if it were I would never return. Please look into this for me and get back to me as soon as you can."
It would take time thought Dylan and Patrice would need to tread carefully in order to keep his investigation from his superiors.
"Forty eight hours that is how long it will take for us to know if John is telling us the truth."
Lysette wanted to say something but Dylan was the leader and she respected the chain of command unlike the rabble around her.
"Gee thanks Dylan I feel so much better now that I have been granted a reprieve."
"Where you come from are all of you gifted with this mocking tone?"
Maddie answered Dylan before John could cause more trouble.
"It is a defensive reaction and John did not mean to cause offense, I am sure that he is grateful for your intervention with Lissa."
Seeing that Maddie was trying to smooth things over John quickly agreed.
"That is right where we come from it is considered normal to be disrespectful perhaps even compulsory. I sometimes forget where I am and that my humour is not much appreciated here."
"There is a place for humour and even disrespect but you two seem to make it a religion. I am not sure that I understand but I will try to make allowances."
Dylan was still shaking his head while he walked away from them.
"What a pompous arse."
"I thought that at first but there is more to him than that and you would do well to remember that. If not for Dylan Lissa would have put you in the ground by now and of that I am sure."
John was looking directly at Maddie and as she looked up into his eyes she thought she could see tenderness, compassion and love. Quickly looking away she thought what nonsense they were just nice eyes.
"What were you looking at Phoebe?"
Maddie wanted desperately to change the subject and for the first time realised there were letters on the left hand pocket of his tunic.
"What do the letters DPRV stand for?"
"It is the Democratic People's Republic of Velaria."
"Velaria?
"Yes Velaria it is the country we are in."
Maddie felt foolish for having forgotten that Lana had told her the name of her country.
"Yes Lana has already told me that I had just forgotten as no-one else has mentioned Velaria since."
John looked as though he felt sorry for her when he said.
"You have not been here that long and it is understandable......"
"I don't need your understanding or for you to feel sorry for me if not for you we would not even be here in Velaria."
Maddie was not sure where her sudden anger came from but for some reason she just wanted to be away from John.
"I am sorry you feel that way Phoebe and while I am here I will try to stay out of your way as best I can."
In the next few days John had been true to his word and stayed away from Maddie to the best of his ability. She saw him with Dylan many times and each time John looked as though he was becoming more and more frustrated with the camp leader.
"Phoebe I want you to help me to convince Dylan to come and visit my village so that he can meet my friends."
"I don't think that he will even entertain the idea of going anywhere with you until he has resolved the whole uniform problem."
"Oh that is fine his source in the Capital has confirmed my story. Did you not notice I no longer have company when I venture around this place?"
Maddie had not noticed that Dylan's men were no longer watching John but now that he mentioned it.
"Yes you are right you do seem to have a little more freedom to come and go."
"Well will you talk to him with me?"
"And say what exactly?"
John's frustration with the situation was beginning to show when he replied impatiently.
"For god's sake Phoebe we can help these people, look around you they have no access to medicine, hospitals, proper shelter and food is scarce. It is not like this in the Capital; they have everything and outside the Imps lack the basic necessities to live a decent life."
Maddie thought of the night Dylan showed her the desperate visitors to the camp and felt shame at her attitude.
"What makes you think that he will listen to me? I have only been here for a short time and my contribution so far has not been much."
John was taken aback by what Maddie said.
"You are wrong in the time you have been here you have won Dylan's respect and also Lissa's, I can see that in the way she looks at you."
Maddie loved the passion that John was exhibiting but just could not find it within her-self.
"I am going home soon John and as much as I like them I don't want to get involved."
It was hard seeing that look of disappointment on John's face as he walked away from her without another word.
"Maddie come, you have to come and see what I have done."
It was wonderful to see Lana so excited and Maddie could not conceive of what could have caused this miracle.
"Look Maddie isn't it beautiful?"
Lana had dragged Maddie to a corner of the camp where she and George had built a lean-to against a giant oak.
"It is great Lana but who is it for?"
"For John Harrison of course silly."
Maddie did not have the heart to tell the excited girl that John would in all probability be leaving very soon.
"It is lovely and I am sure that he will appreciate it."
Something in Maddie's voice must have given her true thoughts away.
"You don't like it or is it that you don't think John will like it?"
"I love it Lana and I think the best thing for us to do is to find John and see what he thinks of your work."
Finding John was not difficult as usual he was in talks with Dylan.
"John we have something to show you."
"Not now Lana I am talking to Dylan and it is Important."
John's dismissive tone knocked all of the excitement from the crestfallen young girl as Maddie watched her turn and walk away.
"You total arse could you not see how excited she was and that all she wanted was your approval?"
Looking up at Maddie John recognised the anger she was displaying but did not quite know why it was directed at him.
"I am trying to do the right thing here Phoebe and without your help it is proving bloody impossible so don't come over to me pretending that you care because we both know that you only care for yourself."
The words hit home and the truth in them bit deep.
"Like I said you are an arse, the same insensitive arse that you always were."
It was lame thought Maddie but it was all that she had left to say as she could not defend her own actions it was better to attack John's.
Once she had gone Dylan spoke quietly to John.
"She is worth the trouble John and you should not give up on her."
John pretended not to know what Dylan was talking about.
"Phoebe is just the symbol that we need to unite the Imps against the State and fire this revolution."
Dylan smiled and looked at John knowingly.
"There will be no revolution my friend and the Imps do not have the will or the discipline to get behind anyone. They know that they cannot defeat the Academies and that they cannot change the way things are."
"Do they know who you are?"
A wary Dylan looked back at John.
"They know I am there leader and that I take care of them and yes they know I was once a Cadet."
"I take it they know you were once a Cadet of the 1st?"
"The 1st have a reputation for being the best of the best an elite force I would not want to burden them with that information."
Dylan was wondering what else this outsider knew.
"And who you are I suppose it would be a burden for them to know that as well?"
"It seems that you know all of my secrets John and if you wish to enlighten the camp then I will certainly not try to stop you."
John was beginning to like Dylan and the idea of blackmailing him was not to his taste.
"They are your secrets Dylan and it is not for me to share them with others, that is your business."
"Why ask me these questions if you are not going to use the information against me?"
"Idle curiosity and I apologise for being so inquisitive, the fact is you left the Academy at thirteen and I wanted to get a sense of why."
John could not tell what the Imps leader was thinking as Dylan sat there stone faced.
"I had my reasons and if you are around long enough then you may just get know them but for now I think it time you returned to your friends and told them I have no interest in meeting them."
It was an emphatic no from Dylan and to continue would have been useless.
"You are making a mistake Dylan if you don't unite with others then nothing here will change and your people will keep dying needlessly."
A last parting shot to give Dylan something to think about thought John although in truth he knew that he had lost the argument with the stubborn leader.
After her encounter with John that afternoon Maddie kept to herself until the evening came around when she went back to the part of the camp where Dylan had shown her such suffering earlier. It was the same as before and the thought that Dylan visited them every night to remind him of their pain made her feel small.
"Hey you there was a pregnant girl here the other night do you know how she is?"
The scruffy little boy that looked like he could use a good meal or three shrugged his shoulders.
"Try asking the lady over there she knows everything."
The boy was pointing at a young woman who could not have been more than eighteen years old.
"Hi my name is Maddie, do you have any idea of what has happened to a young pregnant girl that was here the other night?"
The girl looked back vacantly at Maddie until a sudden dawning of recognition appeared in her eyes.
"Maddie yes you are the one who killed the Cad."
"No I have killed no-one and about the girl do you know where she is."
The girl ignored Maddie's protestation."
"Yes you are the one that fought back good on you, the girl Terri she don't come around anymore I heard that she bled out."
"Did she lose the baby?"
"Lost her-self too, probably for the best I doubt they would have made it much longer, I am not sure any of us will."
My god thought Maddie how could she be so casual about the whole thing?
"You'll make it, you will all make it."
How could she make such a statement after all she had said to Dylan that night and yet how could she not?
Leaving the poor wretches to their misery Maddie went back to the main camp and joined Lana who was with George at the fire.
"Have you two seen the poor souls that come to be fed here every night?"
It was George that answered.
"I have Dylan likes to give everyone the tour when he thinks they are ready."
"I'm ready why doesn't Dylan think that I am ready?"
Maddie looked at the innocent young girl before speaking.
"Trust me Lana no-one is ever ready to see what is happening back there."
Lana took on a stubborn expression.
"I am ready for anything to fight to hunt and to see whatever is out there in the dark, I am not afraid."
Maddie admired the spirit that Lana was showing but was just too tired to talk.
"I am off to bed now Lana and I know that you are not afraid but that doesn't mean that you have to rush headlong into trouble. Goodnight George."
With her goodnights said Maddie retired for the night and found herself haunted by the words of John Harrison.
"You only care about yourself."
Who was he to say such a thing to her? As far as she knew he had led a pretty damned easy life at home with both of his parents. What did he know of suffering? Nothing absolutely nothing let him lose his parents and fend for himself at ten the way that she had to. In the instant Maddie thought this she realised that John had lost his parents and did have to look after himself in a strange and frightening land at that.
John the pregnant girl Terri, Lana, George, Lissa and even Dylan could she really help them? It was too late for Terri and her baby but John seemed to think that she could unite them to fight for their own survival. It was crazy thought Maddie but how could she refuse to do whatever she could for them after all they had taken her in when she had nowhere else to turn.