"Ready?" Michelle asks. Her family came over on Christmas Eve to celebrate with us. We spent last weekend shopping, getting maternity jeans and supplies for our little project.
I nod in response. We're about to open presents. As soon as they pull our project out of the bag, there's no going back. As soon as both of our parents know, then we can tell everyone else. I'm nervous and I'm not even the pregnant one.
Downstairs, all six of us gather in the living room. There is a hot fire burning in the fireplace. It's been snowing constantly for the past three days. I had to shovel the driveway this morning, then go over to Michelle's and shovel hers since I wasn't going to let her do it. I told our parents it was a Christmas present to her.
"Here you go, dear," Karen says, handing me my gift from them. It was a little box. I say my thanks and tear the paper off. Inside is a pair of earrings.
"Oh, thank you, thank you! They're so beautiful!" I don't hesitate to take the little black studs out of my ears and put in the new dangly earrings. My mother complimented how they match my Christmas dress that I'll be wearing tomorrow.
My dad, who is sitting next to the tree, dishing out the presents, finally pulls out a big red bag. My breath hitches. Here we go.
"To all the parents, from Ryleigh and Michelle. Thank you, girls," my dad says, setting the bag in the middle. The other three adults scoot to the edge of their seats to aid in pulling the tissue paper out.
Karen is the one to grab the picture frame. My heart is racing. A quick glance at Michelle assures me that she feels the same way. Karen pulls the frame onto her lap. None of the others can see the front the way she is holding it. She clasps and hand over her mouth, begins crying, and rushes over to hug Michelle. Confused, my mom flips the dropped frame over so the dads can see.
Karen's sobs drown out the gasps of the other adults. My mom realizes what it means and joins the hug. She reaches an arm out to pull me in. By then, we're all crying. I miss the reactions of the fathers.
"You- you're pregnant?" Michelle's dad asks. His voice is a mixture of confusion and anger. I turn to look. My dad grins and holds out his arms to hug him. Sheriff Thomas's face pinches in anger.
"Dad, I know what you're thinking-"
"Of course! It's that awful dead boy, isn't it?"
"It's the only chance he has to become a dad. Can't you understand that?"
"To hell with that! You're not even eighteen! He ruined your life!"
"He didn't, you did! I was in love with Simon and you were too judgemental to see! He wasn't even a bad guy!"
My parents both look away. Karen looks unsure of what to do.
"Karen, are you hearing this?" The spotlight turns on her. The entire fate of the rest of Michelle's life rests on her shoulders.
"Yes, John. Michelle, you are indeed too young. But John, you need to understand that Michelle probably won't want another man the rest of her life. This is our only chance, and Simon's mother's, to be grandparents. I know it's sooner than you wanted, but we can't force her to get an abortion. I won't let you."
"So you're just going to let her go free?"
Now they have to determine a punishments.
"She can be grounded, I guess."
"Until February."
"But Dad!"
"The end of the holidays," Karen decides. John doesn't want to argue with her anymore. "Brock, Wilma, is it alright if we keep the frame?"
My parents nod. Nobody feels like talking at this point in the conversation. I look down at the picture frame. Eric helped us blow up the best ultrasound picture and print it out. In it, you can see the two jelly beans next to each other. You can make out the two individual bodies, their little heads next to each other. I smile.
"If that's all the presents, I think we'll get going," Karen says. It wasn't the last present. There was one more for Michelle from me. I crawl over to the tree and pick it up.
"Here," I offer it to her. She nods.
"Have fun at the Christmas party with Eric tomorrow," Michelle replies. We hug quickly.
While still embraced, I whisper in her ear, "Call me if you need anything. You can always use the landline." She squeezes my shoulder, letting me know that she understood.
I hug Karen, too. And just like that, the Thomases, and their presents, were gone. I collapse on the floor.
"How long have you known?" My mom asks, squatting next to me.
"Homecoming week. We already told Simon's mother."
"Thank you for being there for Michelle. Don't think I'm okay with this as a mother, so if you want to get pregnant, Eric is still alive, so you can wait."
I nod, but I have no desire to get involved sexually.
"I'm going to be godmother. That's why I applied to Uncle John's store. I want to help her financially, in case her parents don't support her enough. Twins are going to be expensive."
"I know, sweetie. You're doing the right thing."
When I was still on the floor an hour later, my mom gave me a pillow and covered me with a blanket. Michelle's my best friend. Her heartbreaks, mine does. There's no way to avoid it, either. It's just who we've become.
At least tomorrow should be fun. My parents and I will exchange our gifts tomorrow morning. I'll still have Eric to go to the Christmas party with me. I dropped off two presents at the doorstep of Simon's mother's house. One for each of them.
I give up on thinking. At this point, it's the only thing still keeping me awake. The lights have been off for a while. It's dark and quiet. I drift off to sleep.
•
After spending the majority of the day in pajamas, I shower and get ready for the party. Eric said he'd pick me up around eight, then we could go to the party. The host, Miranda, said she'd supply the drinks. It's tradition that the senior class has a Christmas party with adult beverages. That's why the rest of the high school students are throwing a different party.
I put in the earrings that I got yesterday. They're simple silver earrings with a little ruby in each. My birthstone. And also matching the color of my dress. I pick up my black heels and walk downstairs. Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch, discussing plans to visit my grandparents next week.
"Honey, you look gorgeous!" My mom says, hugging me. I pull my coat over the spaghetti straps.
"I don't know if I can let you out of the house like that, young lady," my dad adds, joining our hug.
"Oh, Dad," I say. They let me go as a knock sounds at the door. I open it to reveal Eric. He's wearing black dress pants and shiny black shoes. A sliver of a white shirt and red tie are visible under his unzipped coat.
He bends down and pecks my lips, right in front of my parents. We bid our farewells and head out the door, me slipping my shoes on before stepping onto the packed snow.
"You look nice," Eric says, taking my hand. He helps me keep my balance.
"Thanks." My ankle turns and I cling to his arm. Quickly, I stabilize myself, and continue walking.
"You know, you're almost up to my chin in those," Eric comments and grins down at me.
"Shush." I don't have a comeback for that one.
We reach his car and he unlocks it. When I sit down in the passenger's seat, it's warm. "I turned on the seat heater when I left."
I smile genuinely. I feel all bubbly and happy. Eric's so thoughtful.
"Thanks, again."
"So Michelle's grounded for the rest of the holidays?" Eric asks, pulling out of the driveway. The snow makes strange sounds when the wheels turn. I drop my satchel on the floor by my feet and kick my shoes off for the short ride.
"Yeah. I think we'll still be able to take her to see Peter on New Year's Eve, though."
"About that, I don't know if I will go. If Michelle doesn't, I will."
"You don't want me alone with Peter?"
"Not like that. I don't want Peter alone with you. But it's your life, I'm not about to become a control-freak of a boyfriend."
"It's fine. I do want you to come, though," I say, resting a hand on his knee.
He nods and keeps his eyes on the road. The rest of the short ride is silent, only ending when we get out of the car and I almost slip.
"I'm coming," Eric says, laughing and taking my arm again. He holds my left hand in his and wraps his right arm over my shoulder to keep me warm. Music is already playing in the background. More people walk up to the front with us.
Inside, decorations adorn the wall, a warm fire sits in the fireplace, and bottles of wine and champagne sit on the mantle. Around nine, we'll start passing out drinks. I'm not a fan of wine, so I'll probably have champagne. For now, people drink sparkling juices, the bottles on the table indicating that there's at least red grape, white grape, and apple being drank throughout the house.
I pick up a glass in front of the white grape sparkling juice, since it's my favorite. Eric takes red grape flavored instead. The clock above the mantle says it's already half past eight. About half an hour until nine.
I'm not much of a dance person, so Eric leads me to the couch so I can sit and chat while he dances with his other friends. Uma is sitting next to me, so I strike up a conversation with her about tutoring.
"When are you going to come back? I mean, there's only three students, and I can handle them, but I miss hanging with you after school," Uma says.
"I'm sorry. Maybe after break I'll start staying after. And only three? Did Michaela manage to earn her way out?"
"Yep. She was always working on her homework before I even got there, and her grades were improving, so I wrote her a pass to leave."
"Good for her. She always seemed kind of miserable there," I comment, sipping my juice.
"So did you, in the first week this year. That's why I let you leave."
"Oh, please, I could've left without permission," I reply, both of us laughing. One thing I love about Uma is that she can take a joke. Normal people would get offended.
"So, you and Eric? Is that why you're still skipping?"
"Well, I don't know, to be honest. He's more like a best friend."
"That's sooo cute," Uma gushes. She slings her arm around me and gives me a half hug.
"By the way, I love your dress." She had a dark green dress on, which complimented her caramel colored skin and light brown hair.
"Thanks! I love yours too," she replies. Our conversation dies down so we both lean back against the pillows and watch the dance floor. Eric is grinning as the football boys do some made-up dance. He glances at me and winks. I smile. Watching him have fun makes me happy.
Time flew and pretty soon, Miranda and her friends were popping corks out of the mouths of the bottles. They walk around, filling up glasses, high-fiving everyone, and cheering. Miranda has a bottle of champagne, so Uma waves her over. She fills our glasses to the brim and thanks us for coming. We clink glasses and chug. Miranda fills the glasses again and walks away.
"Hey, baby," Eric says, sliding onto the couch and kissing me hard on the cheek. "I already chugged two glasses." He coughs into his elbow.
"Are you going to get drunk?" I ask, giggling.
"Of course. But don't let me drive. I'm giving you my keys, but you have to promise you won't try to drive, either."
"I promise." Eric pulls out his keys and I slip them into my satchel. I decide to stow my bag behind the couch so I wouldn't make any bad decisions.
I finish my second glass as Eric finishes his third. People walk around, filling up glasses and drinking some of their own.
"Let's play Truth or Dare," Uma suggests, taking my hand and pulling me into the den. Eric follows, bringing a few more people. Someone has a bottle which we pass around as people ask questions and dare them to do stuff.
"I dare you to kiss Ryan," one boy dares Uma. Since he's right next to her, she turns her head and kisses him, no hesitation. Eric hands me the bottle after he takes a few gulps. I follow suit and give it to Uma.
"Ryleigh, Truth or Dare," Uma asks me.
"Truth." I always pick truth.
"What's the dirtiest thing you and Eric have done?"
"Well, I mean, we've kissed. That might be it."
"We might have to change that," Eric whispers in my ear. I giggle and lean on him. Then I ask a boy across the circle and dare him to lick the floor.
Once three bottles had been emptied amongst the seven of us, I counted, we all went back into the living room to dance. A slow song came on, so Eric asked me to dance. We set our glasses on the table and began dancing.
I kick off my shoes and rest my head on Eric's chest. We dance for a few minutes before a fast song comes on and he pulls me out into the back yard.
On the back deck, we were alone. We begin kissing. Eric slips down the stairs and we fall into the snow. I can't feel any of the cold because I'm lying on top of his body. Chilly air blows across my legs as Eric pulls up the skirt of my dress.
My hands are on his face, holding me down to him. Silly thoughts fill my head, clouding my judgement.
Eric rolls me onto the ground and tries to undo his belt.
Feeling the cold snow, I finally open my eyes. I put my hands on his arms to stop him.
Eric opens his eyes. He fixes his belt and hugs me.
"I'm sorry," he whispers.
I couldn't speak. There wasn't anything to say.
"Give me an hour or so and I can drive you home. I understand if you want to sit with Uma again," Eric says. I nod into his chest and he helps me up.
I fix the skirt of my dress and wipe the snow off. My feet turn cold instantly through my tights. Eric, noticing this, picks me up and carries me to the deck. We walk inside together.
I leave his side, heading over to the couch where I left my satchel. I pull out my phone, walk to the bathroom, and call Michelle. She answers immediately.
"Hello?"
I begin crying. "Eric and I drank and almost did it in the snow."
"It's the alcohol. Ruins the best of us."
"I don't know what to do, I haven't said a single word to him since we were inside earlier."
"Are you scared?"
"Yes," I whisper.
"Well, first of all, don't drive."
"Eric said to give him an hour before he can drive. That means he probably isn't that drunk."
"Ryleigh, you don't even sound that drunk."
"What's wrong with me?"
"Chill, I only drank two glasses in August. I know you had more than that."
"If Simon was still alive, would you do it over again? When you're sober, I mean."
"Yeah, I guess I would."
"But I wouldn't. Does that mean I don't love Eric like you loved Simon?" I shook all over. Partially from being cold, partially from fear.
"I don't know." It sure sounded like she does.
"How long can I avoid him without thinking something's up?"
"Is that really your only plan?"
"Yes. And I'm sneaking you out for New Year's Eve. Eric said he wouldn't go if you did."
"Fine. And I talked to my mom about the appointment in a few days. She wants to come. But she is going to tell my dad that we're just going to the grocery store."
"Oh, good. We get to find out the genders, right?"
"Indeed we do."
•
"I have enclosed in this folder the genders and more pictures," Mrs. Johnson says. She hands Karen the envelope.
"Thank you for keeping this a secret, Mrs. Johnson, but I think we're ready to tell everyone else."
"Finally. Is it obvious yet?" Michelle asks, flattening her shirt against her stomach.
"Hm, not that much. But pretty soon, it will be," I reply. She thanks me and pulls on her coat. We all grab our bags and leave the room.
"You're driving," I tell Michelle. Karen understands what I'm saying and climbs in the backseat next to me. As Michelle pulls out of the parking lot, we open the folder.
The first thing to slide out is the group of ultrasound pictures. They're all strung together and represent the slightly larger jelly beans we observed today.
Next comes the paper we're looking for. It's a typed note from Mrs. Johnson. She explains how at this stage, the results are fairly accurate, but to keep receipts just in case. She'll let us know at the next appointment if it's still the same.
And finally, the actual genders. It says that Michelle's having one boy, one girl.
"Yes!" Karen and I cheer. We high-five each other.
Now everyone can be happy. Eric wanted her to have a boy, there's a boy. We want a girl, there's a girl, too. I never asked Peter which he preferred, but I bet he wants her to have at least one boy. Since I'm going over to the house in two days for New Year's Eve, I'll just tell him then.
The car pulls in my driveway and I climb out. I wave as they leave.
"Did you find out?" My mom asks. Currently, she's cutting up a cucumber. For me, I'm guessing, since she's not really a fan of it.
"Yes! A boy and a girl!"
"That's great! I think your dad was hoping for both to be boys, but now we're all happy." Mom comes over to me and hugs me. Then she offers me a cucumber slice.
I reach for more but she stops me. "We're having a relaxation day whether you like it or not," Mom says. I glance at the clock; it's not even noon yet. I grin.
"Hot tub?"
"Yep. Pack your swimsuit!"
I gladly rush upstairs and grab what I'll need. We meet back downstairs, pack a couple bags, and get in the car. My grandparents, who live an hour away, have a pool and indoor hot tub. Once in awhile, my mom would take me over there to relax, usually around exams or big projects.
I rush to hug my grandma when we get inside their house. My grandpa is a few steps behind her and receives my second hug. It always makes me so happy when I come to see them.
"Glad to see you, dear," my grandma says. "Hot tub's all ready for you!"
I speed to the bathroom to change, then downstairs to the basement that is level with the ground behind the house. Tall windows bring bright white light from the snow inside. I pull the cover back and hop in the large tub. The water is steaming, set to the usual ninety-eight degrees it's kept at when in use.
My mom carries down masks, nail polish, and salt scrub. We start with the masks, then scrub our hands and feet and rinse them in a separate tub. Then she picks a color and we dry our hands to paint each other's nails.
"Ryleigh, can I ask you something?" Mom asks, turning to face me.
"Sure."
"Were you close with Simon?"
I hesitate. "Yes. But Michelle was the one he had a thing for. I introduced them after I started tutoring him."
"Thank you for being honest. I'm sorry that your father and I were so rude when speaking of him."
"It's alright. You didn't understand, at the time."
"I'm glad we can still be the same as we've always been."
"Me too."
12/27/15
Merry late Christmas! Hope you all have a great rest of your holidays!