Joey's P.O.V.
Heartbreak. It is kinda stupid actually. Because in all reality, you do it to yourself. You open yourself up. You set yourself up to get broken. You are the one to open up your vulnerable side.
I loved. I learned. I hurt. And now I have to live with the consequences.
So let's start with Daniel. He taught me something I didn't think existed. He taught me about love. He showed me that there is more to a relationship than just the kisses and the giggles and being able to say that you aren't single. He showed me that relationships are about sharing your life with someone on a more personal level. And, if you're lucky enough to get to where me and Daniel got, you will experience love.
However Daniel also taught my something else. Something that sticks out much more than learning about love. He taught me to not wear your heart on your sleeve. He taught me that trusting someone is hopeless because no matter how much you trust someone they can still disappoint you, quite easily actually. He taught me that you can do things in the heat of the moment that you may not really be proud of in the end. Things that you wouldn't normally do. But you can't take back things you did in the heat of the moment. This is because every moment is here. Every moment you live is focused on. And sadly for Daniel, I chose to focus more on the bad than the good.
And now Preston. He couldn't really teach me anything that Daniel hadn't already taught me about love. I mean maybe sex but I will wait a while for that. What he did teach me is that you can make some stupid decisions that you will regret even if you are not under the influence of alcohol. Him cheating was his choice. He chose to go against me and hurt me. He hurt me conciously.
And as everything that both boys have ever taught me spin through my head I know I have to make a decision. And I know that every single factor comes into play right now.
Life fucking sucks. There is so many bad things in the world. So many things that can crush you in an instant. And sadly for me, I have experienced many of those those life crushing things.
"I want you to tell me what you want. But I want it to be the complete and honest truth. Don't tell me something that isn't going to make tou happy, please. I would rather you be happy without me than be miserable with me. Because I could not care any less about my feelings," Daniel says very clearly as if for the first time in over a year he has finally calmed down. This is what this whole things has been about, me. Daniel has just been trying all along to make sure I was happy.
There are things that we don't want to happen but we have to accept.
There are things we don't want to know but we have to learn.
There are people we can't live without but we have to let go.
It's hard to let go of someone who gave you so much to remember.
The only reason I won't let go of what is making me sad is because it was the only thing that made me happy.
And as I am sitting here, my mind doing cart-wheels, my stomach in knots, staring at the person that I am madly in love with, I say what I never wanted to say. Through this whole thing I never saw it ending like this. But I guess many things in life can surprise you.
"I want Preston."