Stuart
"You've never thought of coming back?" Miles asked me in disbelief. I knew it was hard to understand; sometimes I didn't comprehend it myself. Coming back to the place that altered my life permanently seemed like a terrible idea, like something I wouldn't be able to do without falling into minuscule pieces, tiny fragments of glass that could never go back to what they used to be.
"I was scared. I left a trail of bodies behind, so I didn't exactly wanted to go back. There was nothing left for me in that place. I asked one of my ladies to discreetly handle the mess in there and a couple days later I disappeared. I hadn't been back to that damned land in centuries." The wondrous look in Miles' eyes bothered me. The historical aspects fascinated him, but I loathed the way he seemed to forget that had been my life, I still faced the consequences of those ancient events. His friendship had been a blessing in many ways, but deep down I knew there were some differences between us that couldn't be overpowered by the bond we shared. I would be forever Queen Charlotte Stuart and he would be fascinated until the day he died; he wouldn't see me as ordinary or common, he'd always see the title before the woman.
"It's amazing how life works; here we are now, preparing for a trip to the ruins of the place that you hate most in the world. I know this is not easy, but with Oliver's insights and information, we finally have a chance to end this thing." I nodded, looking gratefully into Oliver's eyes. My house became our meeting place during the week; it had never been that way before. I never brought friends home, even though Sienna occasionally decided to bring annoyingly high-pitched girls and sneaky men. I hardly cared for her companions, but these people surrounding me were the closest thing I had to a friendship web. Even though I hadn't seen Oliver in many years, looking at him reminded me of Eleanor; it brought out some fondness I had buried long ago, but I didn't mind. For the first time in forever, I felt the urge to free myself, to go out there and live life without fear, without guilt. Things would end up soon, I would face Gaston one way or another.
"Yeah. You all have been amazing through this whole thing. Thank you for helping me plan this trip." I said, gratitude filling me. Arthur, Sienna, Miles and Oliver all had something to add, something to do for my freedom and me. I owed them my life if I was being frank enough. If I hadn't their support I probably would've fled town by now.
"So, we did some research and some math. They have scheduled tours through your old castle every Friday and Sunday. If the cottage is still standing, we can get there by car in approximately fifty minutes. The roads aren't made of asphalt, but the old house should be nearby. No one goes there, considering how old is the map Miles had to bring us, but I guess that is a good thing." Arthur explained, making me feel slightly like a proud mum. I had never seen him dedicate so much time and effort into a project. He was doing everything possible to help me plan this trip without Gaston noticing. I had to keep my daily routine unaltered, but behind the scenes, my friends bought tickets, paid for a rental car, payed the fee to use Sienna's mother private jet, among other things. I felt bad for watching them without taking much part into action, but I knew I needed to be smart. Every mistake I made would eventually reflect on Harry.
"Thank you, that's amazing." I couldn't express anything but gratitude. Looking down at my phone, I realised we had been sitting for at least an hour. I got up slowly, feeling my legs weak and heavy.
"Anyone wants some food? I'm gonna order some takeout." Everybody nodded, except Miles. He got up too and embraced me in a tight, unexpected hug. I reciprocated, although I couldn't understand why his affectionate gesture happened.
"I'm going back home, my wife is waiting for me. Also, I need to tell her I'll be gone for the weekend." I nodded understandingly. I really hoped the endeavour of ours wouldn't cause a strain in his marriage.
"Bye, Miles. Good luck with that." He left in silence and I picked up my phone, looking around one more time. Sienna and Arthur seemed to be debating ties, probably excited about the ball. Oliver however, watched me intently. His gaze didn't falter, not even when I caught him. I rose a sceptical eyebrow, silently questioning him.
If I had to be brutally honest, sometimes I really couldn't look past his attractive features. The sharp jawline and attentive blue eyes drew me in. I wasn't entirely sure what he thought of me, or how he saw me. He was the only person who used to know me back then; he didn't have to imagine what I was like, he witnessed everything, including the awful downfall of my life. We used to be friendly even as children and I enjoyed his company. He came a long way since our hide and seek games.
"Staring is rude." I mumbled, watching as he walked towards me and decided to sit down on a large couch in our living room. I chose an armchair, absentmindedly running my hands through a furry decorative pillow.
"Sorry, I just compare you now to what I remember from back then. You have way less hair and clothing." He spoke, making me laugh in agreement. I did remember him differently too. The leather jackets and short hair brought up a new side of him, one that had nothing to do with the posh fabrics and long hair he once used.
"It's weird, isn't it? Being here together, I mean."
"Yeah." He agreed, looking into my eyes with a deep emotion I couldn't quite pinpoint. "I feel like we have the freedom to do everything we want and yet we act as cowardly as ever." I gulped, trying to keep my feelings at bay. He seemed to be coming from a general point of view, but somehow his words made me blush. I didn't doubt for a second that I wanted to be with Harry, but somehow my best friend's ex-husband stirred something inside me, lust perhaps. I shook my head and tried to clear the fog inside me, to resume back to our friendly chat. Just the thought of feeling attracted to Oliver made me feel like a cheater.
"Yeah, I was definitely bolder in a way." I finally answered, knowing I had delayed the words for too long. "I like myself now, though."
"I don't know if you ever noticed, but I used to have a major crush on you. I guess we were fourteen, maybe fifteen. I kept to myself mostly, but I always tried to have a dance with you during our balls. It was embarrassing, I used to write you letters and burn them." His cheeks heated up immensely, as I hadn't seen before.
I thought back to my teenage years, recalling the longing glances Oliver used to spare me. My mother always mentioned him as one of my admirers, but I hardly cared for those things back then. I enjoyed my freedom while it lasted, a child far too innocent to believe she'd have to renounce all her desires and dreams to rule a country.
"I had some notion, but the day you kissed me in the spring gardens was a pretty good indication." His blush deepened, if possible. I enjoyed the banter, thinking back to the clumsy kiss we shared. Humanity evolved greatly since that remote moment, and yet humans were still essentially the same. We cared about feelings, about interaction, about feeling wanted and needed. Emotion moved us and it would always move us, no matter how long it passed. Being human was a synonym of being something bound to feel, no matter how much we tried to conceal it.
"You were my first kiss." I added, at last. Interrupting our reminiscing moment, I heard Sienna and Arthur squeaking behind me. Oliver laughed, looking between them and me. He seemed embarrassed but adequately chill, showing off that whatever attraction he nourished for me was deeply buried in the past.
"So were you." He said, making me gasp a bit. I hadn't considered that possibility but it was somewhat endearing, the idea of two young royals sharing a meaningful but mundane moment without the prying eyes of others on court.
"This is major drama. Your first kiss married your best friend. I love royal gossip almost as much as I love the royal fashion." I rolled my eyes at Arthur's comment, knowing I couldn't expect anything but the utmost truth from him, and yet feeling mortified for the way he carelessly spoke about my past. Oliver didn't seem bothered by the mention of Eleanor or the insinuation that he could've married her without having forgotten me.
"Enough, Arthur. Since you have a lot to say, go ahead and order us some pizza." I commanded, feeling smug as I watched the mischief in his eyes replaced by annoyance. Hardly nothing irritated him more than being bossed around like a child, but I still held that power over him. We loved each other as siblings, but he had a deep respect for my past and the things I had been through, which was possibly the only reason why he obeyed my request.
"Whatever, Charlotte. Once I finish this, I'll pry as much as I want." He gave me the middle finger and I threw the decorative pillow on my lap listening to the ringing harmony of four laughs in unison.
+
I braided Sienna's hair in silence as a rerun of project runaway showed Heidi Klum in a short black dress on my TV. I enjoyed the peaceful moments, the ones in which I didn't have to be anything but Charlie. I was on the verge of being bored and I never felt happier about it.
My mind ran wild with the memory of encountering Oliver for the first time in the hospital. I recalled the utmost frightening sensation that filled my bones, my desire to hide from him and hide Harry too. Everything seemed distant and almost comical, even though it had been only slightly over a month. Things shifted constantly in my life; it was all fast paced and uncertain, but Oliver's reappearance was definitely something to be thankful for amidst the chaos my life had become.
"So, Oliver is hot." Sienna mumbled, sleep lacing her tone. She was a sucker for someone running fingers through her hair. I rolled my eyes, knowing she was bound to mention something about him. If the circumstances weren't so abnormal, we'd probably be fawning over the hot doctor. I smiled at the thought, not sure if I would trade how I felt now for the daydream I cocooned in my mind.
"So are we." I retorted; feeling accomplished with my answer.
"I mean, I wouldn't blame you for inviting him as your second date to our ball." Sienna continued.
I thought about her words, wondering for the first time if I should bring a date. My heart longed for Harry beside me, but I knew it'd be terribly dangerous to have him beside me in such a public place. The security team was tight, Linda Grey was fierce about that part, but I couldn't risk it. Gaston had been following me for a long time, he knew a lot about my daily habits and the people surrounding me. I believed he'd manage to score an invitation if necessary. I was yet to figure out a way of making him stay home, considered I had given him an invitation, but I was positive Sienna and Niall would do me the favour of inventing a decent story. I wouldn't jeopardise Harry's safety ever again, but Oliver represented something totally different. He was involved in the situation almost as much as I was; he also owed me for the moral debt of never interrupting Gaston murderous spree when he had the chance.
Oliver wanted to be mortal again, to live his life, take care of his patients and build a career in which he could excel for over the period of ten years without raising abnormal suspiciousness. I wanted the same in a way, although our plans were somewhat different for what we'd do once we were free of the curse. Even though I wouldn't admit it aloud, he and I shared some sort of secret bond, brought together by the invisible tide of destiny. He understood my losses, my crushed expectations, and me. We both knew more about the word settling than anyone on the planet.
"Wouldn't it be weird? I mean, I am with Harry." I said.
"You can go out with as many boys as you please. That's the beauty of being unmarried and close to breaking your curse. You have plenty of option." I agreed with her in a way, but it still seemed unfair going out with someone else when I had just assured Harry he was an ex I couldn't care less about.
"Maybe you'll find out you're chasing after your past and not Harry Styles himself." Inadvertently, she reached a sensitive spot, one I had been struggling with since the first time I decided to maintain a certain closeness with Harry. My heart told me he was his own person, I loved him for what we had shared in the present, but my worn out brain found ways of question that statement. I wondered if I would have to live with that doubt for the rest of my life or if I'd somehow make amends with myself and clarify it for good.
"I don't know. Maybe you can ask Linda to keep a spare invitation at bay, just in case." I said the words without conviction, knowing they'd please Sienna and keep her from continuing her quest. Whenever she put something in her mind, she wouldn't give up or give in. I admired that trait of her personality, one Arthur shared, but it could also be annoying whenever I was her subject of interest.
"I love you, Charlie. You know that, don't you?" her words surprised me. We weren't exactly sharing a meaningful moment up until that point of our conversation. I had just assumed she was trying to sublimate her desires to hook up with Oliver through me. Niall could be the perfect boyfriend, but she'd never be oblivious to a good looking man.
"I know. I love you too, Sienna. In fact, I have loved you since the day I saw you for the first time in Linda's arms. You were so chubby and attentive. Big blue eyes looking around as your mum fed you for the first time." She chuckled, probably imagining the scene I had witnessed. Twenty years seemed like a pretty big chunk of the average human lifetime, but to me it was just an eye blink.
"I don't want you to think that I'm pushing you towards something just because I got bored and decided to come up with a distraction. I want you to be happy. Happy and free." She got up from my lap and looked into my eyes. The only light of the room was the TV, but somehow her eyes seemed a lighter shade of blue.
"I want you to consider the options you may have in case you don't manage to break the curse." She started slowly, watching me with hawk eyes. I stood stoical, wanting to listen but also wanting to curse her for even considering the possibility of failure. We couldn't fail, we wouldn't.
"If you don't break the curse, Oliver is literally the only man on this planet that can understand you and love you without age being an issue. Also, I don't think it'd be a convenience for you. He looks like someone who's ready to invest in something if you're willing to do the same." Her words stung, they were like a fire destroying every single delicate fantasy I had built. The worst part of it all was knowing she had every reason to consider that possibility, even though I had never thought about it, not even once.
I wasn't exactly an optimistic person, life hadn't been easy and yet when I was presented with a difficult, borderline impossible task, I embraced it as a given win, no questions or fears inside me. I was blinded by the idea of getting what I had always wanted, so sightless regarding all the complications that could occur. My faith had been bigger than my fear for the first time in many years, but that only meant I would have the greatest downfall of all if things didn't happen the way I wished.
"I have to admit I haven't thought about a plan if things don't work out. I haven't allowed myself the luxury of missing my only opportunity." I said.
"I know you haven't, you're naturally ecstatic about the prospect of freedom. I support that, Charlie. I mean, I love Harry and I think he is a great guy, but like I said, I don't want you to isolate yourself in case things take a wrong turn." She got off my bed and kissed my forehead affectionately.
"Think about what I said. Having Oliver beside you is the best thing you can hope for in case your plans get shredded. The thing about him, however, is that we both know he would never accept the position of Harry's replacement. If you wish to keep him, you have to choose him while the dice still haven't rolled."
The advice she gave me seemed motherly, something way beyond what someone would expect of a 21 year old with the world at her feet. Despite anyone's beliefs, Sienna was sensitive and wise beyond her age. I adored her and the way she could surprise me with new points of view I hadn't developed, even though I had lived and seen far too many things.
"Goodnight, sis. Thank you for the advice. I'll take all that in consideration." She nodded and left the room in silence, leaving me behind with the screaming voices of my thoughts.