Dedication to belllalovessyouu for the amazing ideas of this chapter and being pretty fun to talk to! I twisted the idea just a tiny bit, but she's the one who gave it to me. Thanks for this genius idea!
Chris' POV
I can feel it happening again. I don't think the others have noticed yet. There are gaps in my memory. One moment, I will be sitting on the ground. The next, I'll be walking along with Willow. The first time, I was scared. All of it was very scary. But now, I'm absolutely terrified. The trances are more dangerous than ever before. If I hurt someone here, then there's not much we can do. When I stabbed Tetrick, he would've died, had I not come out of the trance. If the same thing happens here, he would die. I can barely live with the idea that I hurt him so badly. I could never live with the idea that I killed my childhood friend.
I'm afraid for my own safety, too. This is the Hunger Games. We've been here for two weeks and I'm very lucky to have encountered only a few Tributes. If I'm in a trance when I encounter a Tribute, I don't know how I will react. All I know is that I won't be myself.
Willow's POV
Being pregnant is starting to get to me.
I'm still nauseous in the morning, which is nothing new. Things have been that way from the beginning. I'm getting used to it now. But other things are starting to effect me, too. I have to pee all the time! I'm way more emotional than usual. Tiny little things are making me break down and cry. I don't understand it. Sure, my hormones are all out of whack, but I don't cry often. At least, I didn't before I was pregnant. Now I'm like a fountain or something.
I'm also having food cravings, which is inconvenient. There's no peanut butter around here.
In the morning, I woke up to Tetrick on one side of me and Talon on the other. Jessica was cuddled up to Talon. I chucked a little. I turned my head to look for Chris, who was laying on the other side of Tetrick. Or at least, she had been. She wasn't there anymore. I sat up and looked around. Not too far away, I saw her sitting on a log, staring out into the distance. She must've taken up watch at some point in the night. I walked over to her.
"Mind if I sit with you?" I asked.
"Sure," She replied.
I sat down next to her on the log. Clearly, she had been in deep thought. I can't imagine how she feels right now. To have her secret exposed like that must be hard. Not only does the rest of her alliance now know, but Panem knows, too. I personally don't have any problems trusting her. I understand that she was not in control of her own mind. So I still trust her. But what about Talon and Jessica? How do they feel? I can imagine that their struggling to trust her. I'm sure they understand that none of this was her fault. However, it can be hard to use that as a justification when she was the hand behind the knife.
"Are you alright?" I asked her. "You seem upset."
Chris scoffed. "Do you really think I would admit to being upset if I was? You know me better than that."
I smiled. "Yeah, I do."
She didn't smile back. She continued to stare off into the distance, not saying much.
"Hey," I elbowed her in the arm. "Tell me what's going on."
Chris bit her lip. She still didn't reply.
"Chris, come on. It's okay. You can tell me. I don't blame you for the whole trances thing. If you don't want the others to know whatever is going on, then I won't tell them. You can trust me."
Chris blinked, and a tear started to stream down her cheek. It's strange to see her cry. From the moment I've met her, she's been like a hard shell. Very fit for the Hunger Games, I think. To see her breakdown doesn't match her personality.
"It's been happening again. More and more often. I don't remember a portion of the fire. I don't remember taking up Jessica's position as guard in the middle of the night. The only explanation is that I'm having trances again. I don't know what to do," Chris replied.
"Well what did they do before, when you were in that hospital?" I asked. "Maybe there's something we can do for you."
She shook her head. "Loads and loads of medications. Ten pills in the morning and five more at night. In addition to therapy. It took four years, on that regimen, to get better. There's nothing we can do here."
"We have three years! Maybe sponsors will send down some medication. We're here for you. Tetrick and I, at least. You can get better."
"The medication makes me too drowsy. In the mental hospital, it didn't matter. I would just lay in bed all day. Here, I can't take that risk. You don't want me slowing you down for the next three years," Chris replied.
"There has to be something we can do," I pleaded. I hated seeing Chris like this. She sounds like she's giving up any hope.
She shrugged. "We'll wait. We'll see how bad it gets. We'll hope that I don't hurt anyone." She hung her head. "Maybe I should just leave."
"Don't say that," I snapped. "You're not going anywhere."
She stood up. "I'm going to go hunt for some breakfast."
"Wait." I grabbed her hand. "Someone should go with you."
She shook her head. "I want to be alone."
"Then just promise me you will come back afterward."
Chris nodded. "I will."
I let go of her hand and saw Chris run off into the morning. I hope that she keeps true to her promise. When I walked back, the rest of the alliance had woken up. Jessica and Talon were secretely whispering to themselves. For a second, I thought they were just acting like love birds. Then I noticed their facial expressions. They were stuck in a very serious conversation.
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked, sitting in between Tetrick and Talon.
Both of them looked nervous. Talon looked past me, out in the distance, as if he was searching for someone. I followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at the spot where Chris had been. When I looked back at him, he had his head down. He was clearly ignoring the question.
"What were you talking about?" I asked again, more seriously now.
"We were just discussing Chris and her...issues," Jessica stepped in.
"She doesn't have issues," I snapped in reply. "She has a mental illness. It's not her fault!"
"I understand that," Talon said. "I do trust her. I just don't trust the part of her that she can't control. I love Chris, but we need to be reasonable."
"We can't just leave her to deal with this by herself. I understand what could happen when we keep her around. But if we don't try to help, what does that say about us?" Tears threatened my eyes. I cry way more than I used to. Maybe Tetrick is right about these pregnancy hormones. "She is our friend. We need to give her the benefit of the doubt. We need to give her a fighting chance. That's what she deserves. It's the least she deserves!"
"If Chris goes, I'm going with her," Tetrick said. "Despite what she did, I know who she is."
I smiled at him. He's really a great person and friend. He's stayed by Chris' side, even when he had every reason not to.
"And I'll go with them," I said. "I'm not leaving Chris."
Talon frowned. "I don't want either of you to leave."
"If you don't want us to leave, then Chris stays," Tetrick replied.
Talon sighed and nodded. Jessica didn't look satisfied and I could tell that this isn't the last time we would be talking about this.
When Chris returned, she brought a few bunnies with. We cooked them, ate them, and set off on the road. The goal for today was to arrive back at our original tree house. Then we will chop some more wood and continue on the construction process.
It was very silent as we walked along. None of knew what to say. Chris had her issues on her mind. I had Chris staying in the alliance on my mind. I think Tetrick had that in mind, too. Then Talon and Jessica seemed to be having an inner debate, like they weren't sure which side they were on. I couldn't blame them for that.
Tetrick seemed to be doing a lot better. Jessica's salve worked wonders on his wound. There was no more swelling or redness. He's not sick anymore. As soon as he gains the weight back, he will be good as new.
I have to admit to myself that I do have some feelings for him. I can't ignore that. I just can't step into a relationship. Tetrick's great. Perfect, really. I just...can't do it.
Suddenly, I heard a shifting in the leaves. For a moment, I thought that it was one of our alliance members. Then I realized it was somebody else. I halted in my tracks, as did everyone else. Except for Chris. She kept walking straight forward. The noise was more clear now. There's another Tribute in the bushes.
"Chris," I called as quietly as I could. She didn't seem to hear me. I'm sure she can hear the rustling of the bushes, though. You would have to be deaf not to hear that. She just kept on walking forward, not seeming to care.
Then two people came out of the bushes. One was a boy and one was a girl. I don't recognize them and I'm not sure what District their from. They appear to be allied, though. They started to run at Chris, not seeming to notice us crouching on the ground.
"Chris!" I screamed, trying to warn her. She didn't need my warning, though. She had already pulled her knife out and turned around. She kicked the closer of the two Tributes, sending him flying back. The girl, who was now closer, approached Chris slowly. She had a sword in her hand. Chris was too fast for her, though. She ducked under her sword and stuck the knife between her ribs. Then she pulled out a second knife and stabbed the boy in the neck. All of this had happened in a matter of two seconds. Both of the Tributes were killed.
"Well we're down to 10," Jessica said. We all stood back up and walked over to Chris. She was completely still, staring down at the two bodies. Blood dripped off of her hands.
"Let's keep moving," I suggested, walking past her. After I walked past, I turned around. She showed no signs of noticing me. "Chris?"
Tetrick stepped forward and lifted Chris' face. His eyebrows pulled together and he frowned. I ran back over so that I could see the front of Chris' face. Then I understood what he was frowning about. Her eyes were open, but they weren't focused on anything. She looked dazed.
"Crap," Tetrick muttered. "Come on, Chris. Look at me."
She gave no response.
"This isn't usually how the trances are," Tetrick explained. "She's usually more responsive. She will still talk and she still understands who I am. She'll just act as if she's a different person. Now... It's like she doesn't even know we're here."
"Let's just leave her," Jessica suggested.
"Shut up," I said to her. "We're not leaving her."
"Let's get real, Willow. Is she really that big of an asset to our team? What does she do for us?"
"She just killed two Tributes! Is that not enough for you?" I was losing my temper fast.
"Anybody can kill a person. That's not what I care about. Does she play her part in hunting? Is she a good team player? Is she trust worthy? I think not."
She had crossed the line. I pulled one of my knives out and spun around. I shoved my arm against her neck so hard that I pinned her up against a tree. I didn't push hard enough to cut off her breathing supply. I only pushed hard enough to make it hurt a little.
"You shut up! You don't know anything! She caught your breakfast this morning! She has risked her life to save me! She risked her life to save you just now!"
"I could've taken them," Jessica choked out.
"Shut up and let me talk! She let you in this alliance! We didn't have to accept you! If she would've said no, then you would've been on your own! You should be grateful!"
"She was very reluctant to let me in."
"Oh, please! If she truly didn't like you, then she wouldn't have let you in! You owe her so much! If you say one more thing bad about her or mention kicking her out one more time, I will cut your neck!"
"That's enough, Willow!" Talon grabbed me and threw me off of her. I stumbled away and almost fell over. "Don't threaten her!" He wrapped his arms around Jessica, comforting her.
"You know it's wrong to leave her!"
He sighed. "Calm down, Knives. Chris isn't going anywhere."
"What's going on?" Chris asked.
I spun around. She was out of her trance now. She looked at Tetrick, who still had his hands around her face. She looked at Talon and Jessica, hugging each other. Jessica was sobbing. Then she looked at me, with my knife in my hand and the angry look on my face.
Then she realized what had happened. She looked at her bloody hands, then down at the dead bodies. "I was in a trance, wasn't I?"
"Not for very long, I don't think. A few minutes," Tetrick tried to comfort her. It didn't help. Chris broke down into sobs. Tetrick wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed into his shoulder. I walked over and put my hand on Chris' back. We were there for many minutes, letting Chris cry.
Finally, she pulled away from Tetrick and wiped her eyes. Then she said, "I should leave you guys."
"No!" I protested. I expected Jessica to agree, but she kept her mouth shut.
"I'm going to get worse! I'm going to pull you guys down!"
"Stop." I put my hand on her arm. "We'll fix it."
It wasn't long before another trance started. This one was different. It was more like how Tetrick explained it. She still seemed to recognize us. She still talked to us. She was just different. I could see the difference in her eyes, too. None of us argued with her. We hardly even replied to what she said. And let me tell you, she said some terrible things!
"What if we overthrow the Capitol? We could do it, you know! Round up the Districts and fight! The Capitol won't even know what hit them! They can't fight like we can!"
"Three years in these games... That's such a long time! Too long! We're not going to make it that long! We're only two weeks into this thing! Think about how many more weeks we have left! 156 more weeks to go! We're all going to die! Some person will come along and kill all of us. Including you, New Girl. We won't be remembered. Not even our families will remember us. We'll just fade into nothingness, into the oblivion!"
"What are you going to do when you have the baby, Preggers? Imagine if you're the last one in the Games, with your little boyfriend Tetrick. It's the three of you. Your baby is just under 2 and a half years old. She doesn't understand what's going on around her. Only that it's dangerous. Only one of you can win. Are you going to kill the baby, keep the crown for yourself? That's what I'd do. I'd let that baby's body rot."
If Chris hadn't been in a middle of a trance when she said that, I would've punched her in the face. Instead I just said, "I'd rather kill myself than kill my baby girl."
"So what you're telling me is that you're going to die, no matter what? You're not going to leave these Games?"
I sighed. "You're lucky that you're not yourself right now."
"Oh, I'm perfectly myself!" She pulled out a knife. "Wanna see?"
"Put your knife away, Chris," Tetrick warned. Every muscle within him tensed.
"I don't have to listen to you, Tetrick! Preggers is trying to pick a fight with me! I'm not going to back down."
"I'm not picking any-" I started off. Then my words were cut off by her yell. She lunged at me, as if she was going to attack me. Before she could hit me, Tetrick stepped in her away. He was knocked on the ground, with Chris on top of him. Tetrick's lucky that her knife is angled in such a way, or the knife would've drove straight into his chest.
It seems that the impact knocked some sense into Chris. Her trance ended. She shook her head and rolled off of Tetrick. "How long?" She asked.
"An hour. We're back at the tree house," Jessica replied.
"What did I do?"
"You were talking some nonsense. Talking about overthrowing the Capitol, our deaths and the touchy subject of what Willow is going to do with her baby. Then you attacked her. Tetrick stopped you from hurting her," Talon said.
Chris sighed and closed her eyes. I could tell that she was struggling to hold herself together. She stood up and opened her eyes again. Then she faced me. "I'm really sorry."
I shook my head. "No apologies necessary."
I helped Tetrick up, who hugged me for a really long time. Then we continued to build the tree house. Chris hardly spoke the entire time. I tried to talk to her a few times. Each time, she insisted that she wanted to be alone.
That night, I went to bed with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. It took a long time for me to fall asleep. I just felt that something wasn't right. Tetrick woke up and insisted that I relax. The presence of his arms around me was enough to let me fall asleep.
I woke up many hours later, just before dawn. It was very silent outside. Tetrick's arms were still locked around me. Carefully, I took his arms away and stood up. Talon and Jessica were still sleeping. I frowned. Talon was supposed to take over Chris' watch hours ago. Why hadn't she woke him up? I looked over to where she sits during the watch. She was still over there, sitting against the tree.
"Chris? Are you still awake?" I called out. There was no reply. She must've fallen asleep. We're lucky that no one killed us in our sleep. I walked over to her to wake her up. Then I noticed the blood.
Blood was pooled all around her. More blood than I've ever seen. I resisted the puke traveling up my throat. This is so much blood. Too much blood. I took a step forward so that I could see Chris' face. Her eyes were closed, as if she was sleeping, but her chest told a different story. There was a knife stabbed into her heart. Her hand was still holding the knife. The words I'm sorry were carved into the tree.
"Chris!" I screamed. If anyone was even a little nearby, they would hear me. I was taking a huge risk. I didn't care, though. Right now, Chris was my number one concern. I kneeled right next to her, ignoring the large amounts of blood. My scream woke up the rest of my alliance. Tetrick came running over to me. I pulled the knife out of Chris' chest and wrapped my arms around her, holding her dead body close to me. Her body's cold. She's been dead for a while.
"What h-happened?" Jessica asked.
"She killed herself," Tetrick whispered in reply. Tears were falling down his face. Talon and Jessica, too. I, on the other hand, was sobbing uncontrollably, holding Chris close to me, as if I could bring her back to life.
As I sobbed, the voice of Claudius Templesmith rained over our heads. "Big announcement, ladies and gentlemen! Your new head gamemaker is Luke Corwin!"
***
Luke is now head gamemaker... Well crap.
When I'm writing this, I totally treat it as if I'm reading it. Like I fangirl over my own story. It's pretty pathetic.
BUT ANYWAYS! Long chapter! Sad chapter, but long chapter. Vote if you like it! Comment your thoughts!
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Love you people!
-emukid96