(Warning: Maybe triggering for some)
Please never hurt yourselves. Please be careful about what you say to others, because you never know how much your words can hurt someone until they break...
"I'm broken. Do you hear me?"
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{Luna}
"I hate my self" I mutter and squeeze my eyes shut because of the stinging sensation on my wrist.
"I'm so weak" Another new cut.
"I'm no good" I say to myself and my eyes produce more tears.
"I'm not beautiful in society's eyes, nor will I ever be" I say and I silently cry.
"I'm worthless...god I'm so worthless" I say, but I don't stop hurting myself
Look what you've done now.
I throw the bloody sharp object across the room into the bath tub and weep in a fetal position.
I try to control my breathing and stop the tears streaming down my face, so I can go out there and act like everything's okay & that I'm not slowly dying on the inside.
I slowing get up from the cold floor and get a wet wash cloth to clean the floor. Then I get some toilet paper and gently dab the stinging cuts. After I'm done cleaning my cuts, I put a thin layer of gauze on top and wrap it with surgical tape.
I unlock the bathroom door walk back into my room.
I lay on my bed, close my eyes, and just think.
Think of what people would think if I ended all of my sadness and pain just a couple of seconds ago.
I promised my dad I wouldn't hurt myself anymore, but here I am with more pain than ever before.
I could've been with Luca again, with my mom if I just...ended it.
~
"Hello?" I say into my phone with a sleepy voice.
"Hey it's Cole...Were you sleeping?" He asks through the phone and I can her people talking in the background.
"Yeah I was taking a nap...what's going on?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to come to the pool in a little bit with me and couple other guys"
"Cole I told you I don't hang out with the guys playing in the little league World Series..." I say and adjust my pillow that I was sleeping on.
"You hang out with me" he points out.
"It takes a lot if persuading from you to get me to even talk you" I say
"You gave me you're number..."
"You asked for it!" I argue
"Still gave it to me" he says amused "c'mon Luna"
"Fine I'll go but I'm not swimming" I say "I'll meet you at the pool in five"
Then I hang up and get off of my bed to change. I feel tired, but Cole always seems to persuade me into doing stuff with him.
I switch the gauze and tape with simple band aids for now, so that it will be easier to cover.
I switch my tee shirt for a long sleeve slightly cropped light grey shirt. I don't necessarily like crop tops, but it's summer, and I would probably get questions from players about why I'm wearing a sweatshirt or a regular long sleeve.
Then I put on some dark washed shorts, and of course my ID lanyard & head out my room.
I walk through the hall and down the stairs within a minute and then I head toward the pool.
The gate is open already because there are about fifteen people in the pool already including Cole.
"Hey Luna!" Cole says from inside the pool when I walk in.
I give him a wave and walk over to a table with five plastic chairs and an umbrella beside the pool.
All the guys are splashing each other and just making the most of their time here before the games.
Two guys have waved to me, and it's weird for me because I'm not used to socializing with the little league players.
I'm sitting down on the plastic chair that's the most under the shade, and my legs are crisscrossed. I'm just observing them goof around, and I occasionally check my phone.
I'm looking down at my phone and I hear a person clear their throat in front of me along with some whistles, so I look up confused.
It's a shirtless boy with light blue swim trunks and dripping wet hair.
"Can I help you?" I ask and them I notice that all the boys in the pool have formed a big circle and are now all looking at me and this boy in front of me with amused faces.
Something's up.
"Can you come with me for a second?" He asks loudly
Before I can reply he whispers so only I can hear him, "it's a dare, but I'm not actually going to do it. I'll explain later"
"Uh okay..." I agree unsure, and then I slowly get off of the chair.
"Close your eyes for just a minute" he says and then goes to grab my wrist to lead me, but I pull back because I have new cuts.
"Uh just...hold my hand" i say so he won't put pressure on my wrists.
He agrees and I put my cold hand in his so that he can take me where he needs to take me. I know they won't pull anything on me because my dad is kind of like their boss. I wouldn't at least.
"Open your eyes" he says
I immediately open them, and I see that we are behind the pool equipment shack where no one can see us.
"What do you want me for?"
"A dare" he replies
"What kind of dare...?" I ask
"I uh...need to make out with you"
He tells me
"What!? No!" I say as my eyes widen "I don't even know your name"
"My name is Dylan Demers, and we aren't actually going to make out" Dylan tells me
"Then why am I here?" I ask confused once again
"When we walk back we need to act like we did because if they find out i didn't do the dare then I have to run around the cafeteria during dinner only in my boxers" he explains
"Okay fine I'll help" I agree reluctantly "how do we act like we just made out?" I ask
"Okay so were going to walk out there, I'll put my hand on your back I guess, and then I'll wink or do something like that" he tells me "act like you enjoyed our nonexistent make out okay?"
"Okay I guess" I agree
"Thanks for helping me...now it's show time" he says and then he intertwines our fingers
We walk out from behind the shack so that we are now in view for the guys.
I just look at him waiting for his lead. He smirks at the guys and then leans in to my face and kisses my jaw then winks at me.
That little liar! He said nothing about kissing me. I don't care if it was only my jaw, I'm going to slap the smirk off his face.
There are hoots and hollers coming from the pool, but I'm standing beside Dylan blushing to death.
Once we are close enough by the pool I push him into the pool, taking him by surprise, just like he took me by surprise with that kiss.
I walk back to my spot under the umbrella, and then I sit down crisscrossed once again.
Cole swims over to where I'm sitting, but he doesn't get out of the pool.
"Hi Miss Stotz" he greets
"Hi" I reply sheepishly
"Come in the pool"
"No I don't like swimming" lie
"Then just put your feet in, but sit with us" he says
"I don't know..."
"Please. You're just sitting here alone"
"Okay I'll sit with you guys" I say then I get off the chair and walk over to the group while Cole swims back.
"Guys this is Luna Stotz" Cole introduces me to the guys even though they all know who I am.
"Yeah the one Dylan made out with!"
"Yeah..." I say with tinted cheeks "that's me" I say and take off my converse and socks so I can put my feet in.
"Wanna play truth or dare with us?" A brunette (with the coolest blue eyes ) asks me
"Uh sure...why not?"
"Okay so Luna truth or dare?" He asks me
"Truth" I say and get some playful boo's from the guys
"You're no fun" he says "okay fellas what's a good question?"
They all look around at each other to see if someone has a good question. Luckily for them some once does.
"Hi Luna I'm Will, and I—and I think all of the guys here—would like to know if you are single or taken" Will asks
"I am...uh it's complicated" I admit
Then I hear gasps from some of them.
"You're in a relationship!?"
"It's complicated"
"You're single then?"
"Cole truth or dare?" I ask him so I can get out of all their questions
"Dare" he says and then smirks at all of the other players
"For you mister Wagner...I dare you to have a chicken fight with the partner of your choice, and two volunteer opponents" a boy–I believe his name is alex– said to Cole.
"I choose Adam" Cole said & he and Adam high-fived.
"I, Walker Lannom, volunteer as tribute!" He announces "I choose the one and only Luna as my partner"
"No, I didn't volunteer!" I protest
"Oh what was that?" He asks into his hand(he made it look like a phone or whatever) "oh it seems that you not volunteering doesn't make me care anymore than i currently am."
Damn this kid has sass
"You better not drop me...I don't want to get wet" I say to him
"That's what she said!" A blonde boy with an Australian accent yelled out. So immature.
"Your stupid Luke, but I love you"
"Love you too Walkey!" Luke says back
"I ship Wuke! Otp for life" Levi says and all the guys agree
"You all are weird" I say "walker I'm serious if you drop me I'll slap you"
"That's a risk I'm willing to take" he says pretending to be serious
"Come over here" I say and motion him to the edge of the pool so I can get on his shoulders
"Adam and I are going to beat you and walker!" Cole says from the middle of the pool with Adam already on his shoulders.
"I highly doubt it" I reply after fully getting on Walker's shoulders.
"Okay game plan is you punch Adam while I'll kick Cole in the ba-" walker starts to whisper to me but I cut him off.
"No! No violence...I'll just tickle Adam so he'll fall off" I say swinging my legs beside his torso.
"Your no fun!" He says "oh by the way, your shorts are getting a little wet because you are sitting on me"
"Whatever I'll change after I leave you guys at the end of this game" I say and walker walks to the middle of the pool where Cole is standing with Adam.
"Good luck Cramer" I say looking him in the eye
"Same goes to you Stotz" he replies.
"Fight!" A random person yells, and that's exactly what we do.
I push Adam backwards, but he doesn't fall off. Instead he tries to push me, but walker doesn't let me fall even though he is tries to get at Cole.
"Kiss my ass Wagner" Walker says and I hear a groan and soon Adam falls underwater along with Cole.
"Walker we won!" I cheered. I haven't been this happy in a while.
"Yeah because I kicked his balls" he says nonchalantly
"You did not!" I say and soon Cole comes back from underneath the water.
"Yes he did and now you'll pay for your partner's mistake" he says and lunges at walker while everyone cheers.
"Cole!" I say, but it's too late because I'm soon in the water just like everyone else.
When I come back up I look at Cole with an annoyed expression, "Cole Wagner I hate you"
"No you don't" he says getting out of the pool "come on I'll walk you back to your room so you can change"
"Fine, but you owe me more than that" I say getting out of the pool as well
"Have fun kiddies, but not too much fun if you get what I mean" Luke says and I roll my eyes. That kid is all kinds of immature.
"Here take this towel" Cole says handing me a navy blue towel
I thank him and wrap it around my soaked body.
"Ladies first" he says and opens the gate for me. It is then that I realize that he doesn't have a towel.
"Where is your towel?"
"It's wrapped around you" he says and shuts the gate
I take it off of me and try to give it to him, "here take it...at least I have clothes"
"They are soaking wet" he says and refuses to take it
"I won't ever talk to you if you don't take it Cole"
"Give it to me" he says and wraps it around him self after I hand it over to him.
We walk back to my door (yes my door, because he insisted to), and I open it and walk in, but before I shut the door, I turn around and face Cole who is leaning against the door frame.
"I know your are trying to figure me out or whatever, but let's just say I've had a rough past okay?"
"Okay" he says
"So thanks for encouraging me to hang out with you and the other players because believe it or not, that's the most I've smiled in a long lime"
"No problem...I'm sorry about what happen in your past"
"I'm-" I start to stay that I'm fine, but frankly, I'm still not "-thanks"
"See you later Luna" he says and pushes himself of my door frame.
"Wait Cole..." I say and he stops before he walks to his room.
I can't believe I'm doing this
"Do you want to come into my room and hang out?"
"Yeah" he agrees with a smile creeping upon his face "I'll be back in seven minutes because I have to shower"
"Okay" I say and shut the door