Hey Angel (c.w.)

Seventeen.

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life"

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*triggering*

{Luna}

"It should've been me!" I cry to myself and cut my wrist with my small blade

"I should've died! I deserve to die" I say and now cut everywhere on my stomach

The blood drips down my stomach and wrists.

It's like no matter how many times I cut myself all I see is blood and all I feel is anger, not hurt or pain.

I cut everywhere, even over my almost-healed scars.

I was so stupid for thinking it would get better. That I would stay clean.

I cut my thigh too deep on accident and then I cry out and drop the blade.

My hand is shaking and I panic. I could usually cover up my cuts, but this is time I cut too far.

I press a towel against the wound, and I reach for my phone.

"Hello?"

"C-Cole" I manage to say "I need h-help..."

"Luna?" He says worried "where are you?!"

"M-my room. Hurry" that's all I say before I hang up.

Since his room is two doors down the hall, he runs in with in seconds.

His eyes go wide when he sees me on the floor "Oh my god Luna!" He says and then rushes down to help me "I-I need to s-see how bad it is"

I shake my head with tears but he moves the towel and looks.

"Oh my God! Luna I have to call for help your cut is too deep and there are cuts all over your body—"

"—n-no! If you call anyone I'll n-never forgive y-you" I cry and put pressure on the deepest cut, the one on my leg.

"I have to Luna!" He says

"Please" I whisper "please don't"

He takes a deep breathe "do you have anything to wrap up your leg?"

"T-There's medical tape and g-gauze in that c-cabinet" I tell him

He quickly gets up and grabs the stuff I told him and a bottle of a clear substance. Then he kneels beside me "I need to put this rubbing alcohol on your cuts"

"N-No Cole please d-don't!" I beg him and start to panic about the pain

"Luna" he says and puts his hand on my knee "they will get infected if I don't do it..."

I squeeze my eyes shut "fine"

He gently folds the towel that's on my knee so that he can pour some of the rubbing alcohol on it. As he starts to clean my cuts, I shoot my hand out and grab his free hand to help keep my mind off the pain.

"I'm done now" he says after wrapping my leg with the medical tape. He sits beside me with his back pressed against the wall.

"Why Luna?" He asks sadly

"I-I should've died" I tell him

"No! Don't say stuff like that. No one deserves to die"

"Well I do" I say but then explain "One day I woke up with a really bad stomach ache and I thought that it would be best if I just skipped school so that I could be better for the next day. Well, that day while I was sick at home, there was a shooting at my school and Luca was shot and killed"

I look down and let tears escape from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry..." He says quietly

"I-I should've been at school that day! I should've died too..." I tell him and cry on his shoulder.

He shakes his head and I see tears in his eyes "don't you dare blame his death on yourself, you know you couldn't have prevented that!"

"I know, I-I just never h-had the chance to say g-goodbye..."

He lifts my chin so that I am looking at him "Well I love you and I'm here for you, you'll never have to say goodbye to me"

I kiss him softly on the cheek and try to smile in response.

-

Cole kisses me goodbye around 7 to bond with his team before the World Championship game tomorrow.

So many thoughts run through my mind, and I start to feel so many different emotions.

I feel scared, happy, relieved, depressed, and proud all at the same time for different reasons.

I grab my journal and start writing a letter to Cole.

Oh how I'll miss him

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So close to being over :((/(/(/((/(