Hey Angel (c.w.)

Five.

(Warning: Maybe triggering for some)

Please never hurt yourselves. Please be careful about what you say to others, because you never know how much your words can hurt someone until they break...

"I'm broken. Do you hear me?"

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{Luna}

"I hate my self" I mutter and squeeze my eyes shut because of the stinging sensation on my wrist.

"I'm so weak" Another new cut.

"I'm no good" I say to myself and my eyes produce more tears.

"I'm not beautiful in society's eyes, nor will I ever be" I say and I silently cry.

"I'm worthless...god I'm so worthless" I say, but I don't stop hurting myself

Look what you've done now.

I throw the bloody sharp object across the room into the bath tub and weep in a fetal position.

I try to control my breathing and stop the tears streaming down my face, so I can go out there and act like everything's okay & that I'm not slowly dying on the inside.

I slowing get up from the cold floor and get a wet wash cloth to clean the floor. Then I get some toilet paper and gently dab the stinging cuts. After I'm done cleaning my cuts, I put a thin layer of gauze on top and wrap it with surgical tape.

I unlock the bathroom door walk back into my room.

I lay on my bed, close my eyes, and just think.

Think of what people would think if I ended all of my sadness and pain just a couple of seconds ago.

I promised my dad I wouldn't hurt myself anymore, but here I am with more pain than ever before.

I could've been with Luca again, with my mom if I just...ended it.

~

"Hello?" I say into my phone with a sleepy voice.

"Hey it's Cole...Were you sleeping?" He asks through the phone and I can her people talking in the background.

"Yeah I was taking a nap...what's going on?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to the pool in a little bit with me and couple other guys"

"Cole I told you I don't hang out with the guys playing in the little league World Series..." I say and adjust my pillow that I was sleeping on.

"You hang out with me" he points out.

"It takes a lot if persuading from you to get me to even talk you" I say

"You gave me you're number..."

"You asked for it!" I argue

"Still gave it to me" he says amused "c'mon Luna"

"Fine I'll go but I'm not swimming" I say "I'll meet you at the pool in five"

Then I hang up and get off of my bed to change. I feel tired, but Cole always seems to persuade me into doing stuff with him.

I switch the gauze and tape with simple band aids for now, so that it will be easier to cover.

I switch my tee shirt for a long sleeve slightly cropped light grey shirt. I don't necessarily like crop tops, but it's summer, and I would probably get questions from players about why I'm wearing a sweatshirt or a regular long sleeve.