HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! (Only 3 days late) First update ever in 2016!! Whoop Whoop!!
*Important Note and stuff at the end!* I know there are several one shot like this, but just wanted to finish up a request, I tried to make it difference and add a little more fluff and all.
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"Five minutes One Direction! Five Minutes!" A back stage crew member said as he checks all the controls as the five lads were about to perform at the Brit's. The five lads huddled around each other forming the circle they always do before a performance.
"Ready, Mates?" Liam taking in each of his band mates, making sure each of them were okay and relaxed. His eyes glanced from the oldest who was smirking, feeling calm as ever, to the Black-haired who honestly looked ready to do this and get it over, to the curly-haired who was grinning ear to ear, but then he turned his eyes to the small blonde who was paler than he normally was.
Niall was rubbing the back of his neck, blowing out a series of short breaths to gain control.
"Niall?"
The blonde jumped and looked around seeing he had the attention of his four band mates on him.
"You okay?"
Niall pushed the hand that Liam had laid on his shoulder off, "Yes Mother Hen, I am fine. Don't worry about me! I am perfectly fine." No I am not fine, Liam. I am freaking out. What if I mess up? I am going to make a fool of myself, Niall wanted to tell his mates, but didn't want them to worry about him. They always worried about him. He wanted to seek reassurances from them.
"Just remember to have fun, Let's go rock this!" Harry smiled as they did their hand shake as the same crew member as before yelled that they had less than a minute to make their way behind the screens.
'You are going to mess it up, you are going to make a fool of yourself." Thought repeated in Niall's head as he walked onto the stage as the first notes of the Best Song Ever sounded throughout the room. Closing his eyes in attempt to stay calm, Niall pushed the thoughts aside as he takes a deep breath as Harry started to sing his solo. Nerves settled down until Niall knew his solo was coming up. Don't mess up. Don't forget your lines. Take a deep breath and let it go.
Niall sang his solo without any troubles, wiping the sweat off of his forehead as they finished the song and walked off the stage straight into large arms that wrapped around him. "See! Told you would do fine!"
"You didn't say anything, Zayn. I knew I would do fine." Niall looked restless. Did Zayn figure out what was going on? Zayn was always the observant one in the group as well Liam, but Zayn was the one who sat back and watched everything.
Zayn narrowed his eyes towards the blonde, seeing past his lie. He raised his eyebrow and gave Niall a glassy stare, minutely shaking his head and changing his stance, shifting from one foot to the other, until Niall averted his eyes grimacing knowing that Zayn had seen past his lie.
"Niall, I have known you for almost five years. I know when you are nervous and wen you are lying. Why do it mate? You can tell all of us anything, you know that right?"
Niall drew his shoulders up, elbow tucking into his sides, avoiding Zayn, until Zayn laid his hand onto Niall's shoulder pulling him close.
"What is going on, Nialler? What is going on in that mind of yours?"
Niall seek the comfort from Zayn's touch, becoming unnaturally quiet and still, only for Zayn to pull away seeing his chin quivering.
"Niall?"
"Zayn, just leave it please," Niall's voice cracked as he took a deep, pained breath, closing his eyes before a tear fell down his checks.
Niall started to shake as his body felt cold, his lack of energy started to shine to Zayn.
Zayn pulled the trembling blonde into him once more, glancing at the three lads were eavesdropping, with raised eyebrows and concern shining through their eyes. Shaking his head at them to go on, they looked at each other and left the two alone.
"Come on, Ni. You need a good nights sleep. Just know that we have our first show in two days, and Paul wants us there early to go over everything." Zayn felt Niall nod his head as he led him to the car take him to the hotel. Let everything go for now, Zayn knew he needed to get it out of Niall soon, what was going on.
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"Stop. Stop. Stop. Niall, what is going on? We have done this over and over!" Paul signaling over to the band to stop playing.
"Sorry," Niall mutters trying to get his head together. He just couldn't think straight. Every that could go wrong went gone this morning. His alarm clock was set at the wrong time, His black SUV got a flat tire and cause he to be more than an hour late, His phone died so he couldn't call anyone. His guitar was way out of tune, so he had to do that before anything.
"Let's try it again. Start at the beginning. Niall, remember to walk out in front of the lads as you play the beginning chords." Niall nodded.
Niall glanced at the lads as they nodded they were started to start the song, Niall walked up the catwalk towards Paul, Helena and the others, starting the chords on his guitar for Where do broken hearts go, when he ran into Liam only to stumble and missing a chord which of coarse everyone noticed.
"Are you okay?" Liam asks Niall grabbing the blonde's shoulders before he fell.
Niall shook his head, starting to continue when Paul called off everything and walked up to Niall, "What is with you today, Niall? Can you do anything right?" Shaking his head the choreographer mumbled about how useless Niall was.
"Oi, knock it off," Louis and Zayn glares at the man and moving in front of the blonde as Liam pulled Niall into a hug as Harry put his hand onto Niall's shoulder for comfort.
"What just speaking the truth. He messes up all the time. Why do you all keep him in the band anyways?"
A heartbreaking sob erupts form Niall's lips. Tears streak down his face leaving Niall vision blurred. The world was spinning and Niall couldn't get a breath in. Short gasps escape his mouth, as he struggles to breathe. His body shaking uncontrollably. He felt heaviness in his chest, his heart was breaking. His hands were getting clamming and aching. He lost all control and feeling of his body as his knees buckled and he collapsed into Liam's arms.
"Look what you have done!" Zayn and Louis walked towards the man, before Helena got in the middle of them.
"Paul, that was uncalled for. Boys, you need to calm Niall down. I will hand this. I think you all have practice enough. We will just do vocal warm-ups right before the show. Just take care of Niall." Zayn and Louis nodded their thanks to their vocal coach as she pulled Paul down the stairs.
"What do we do?" Harry asked as he watches his band mate fall to pieces, feeling hopeless.
"I feel light- headed." Niall spoke softly as he turned his head into Liam's shoulders hiding from his band mates.
"Niall, I need you to breath. You are having a panic attack. Just breath in and out."
Niall's brain is full and exploding. Each breath becomes quicker and images keep popping through his brain. Images of what could be. Fans throwing things at him, their signs saying they hate him. He messing up during one of their shows. He missing his cues on everything. The boys leaving him. The boys yelling at him.
"He, he, he, he" Niall's breath has become quicker. "I can't breathe. He said that I am useless. I can't do this". The world is black and Niall didn't know what to do.
"Niall, can u hear me?"
"Niall can you breathe?"
"Niall, mate open your eyes."
"Niall, please calm down."
Niall hears questions but they sounded like they were in a tunnel. He had no idea what he was doing or where he was.
"Niall it's going to be okay. We all love you" Niall can hear his band mates voice saying through the darkness.
"I need help" Niall say as his breaths gets fast and he knew he can sense the panic earlier that week, even before the show at the Brits.
'You can get through this. You are strong" Liam says holding onto the shaking blonde.
"Now take a deep breath. I want you to take this medicine. It will help calm you down, nothing scary I promise." Zayn says as he was right in front of Niall.
"I'm really sorry that I mess everything up. I am sorry. Maybe I need to just give up and let you four do this," Niall says ready to go into sobs again.
"No! Niall, you didn't mess anything up. If you think us four are going to let you go, you got another thing coming. We will never let you go. It will always be us five. Together forever and ever." Niall look into each of his band mates' eyes and knew they were really worried about him. Niall knew he needed to get through this for them, for himself, for his fans.
After taking the medicine, Niall could breath again, The fear of failure has not been taken away but the panic is lessening. His brain was spinning less, but tears were stilling flowing down his pale cheeks.
"You got to tell us what's wrong?" Louis whispers as Niall glanced up at him.
"Nice big deep breathes, Love," Harry continued rubbing circles along Niall's spine.
"I'm okay," Niall mutters and tries to stand up, but Zayn places a hand on his band mate's shoulder, holding him down, giving him the glare that he gave him a couple days ago. Niall knew that Zayn had not forgotten what happened after their performance earlier than week.
"Niall, you are definitely not okay, come on don't lie to us. We know you better than that. You can't lie to us," Zayn presses a kiss to Niall's forehand, feeling the sweat on it and the coolness of the skin.
"It was nothing, just freaked out a bit," Niall murmured back.
"You don't just freak out like that, Niall. You haven't done that in several months," Liam whispers taking Niall's hand in his, rubbing his thumbs over the skin, like taking his pain away.
"Can we just go back to what we were doing?" Niall asked, trying to get away from all the attention.
"No, Love. We need to talk about this. What is going on?" Liam asks seriously.
"What is it that you can not tell us?" Zayn asks concerned.
"I don't know," Niall whimpers, "I always feel like I am going to mess up during a performance. I have always felt like that I not as good as each of you all. I feel like I shouldn't belong. All my doubts, worries and fears are starting back up again like before."
"Oh Love. You know all of that is false. We all mess up, but that is what makes us better. We learn from our mistakes. How can we learn if we don't mess up? We all have doubts, fears and worries, but we got to push them aside and got out and have fun! We are stealing our happiness away if we continue to worry about these little things that don't really matter." Liam says .
"When did you get smart, Payno?" Louis smirked.
"Always have been Tommo, you are just too blind to see!"
Laughter erupted from Niall.
"There is the laugh we all love dearly!" Zayn smiled.
"Niall, we love you so much and the fans adore you, your family loves you. That is all that matters. Forget those who hate. They are just missing out and don't know anything," Harry smiles giving his band mate a hug before helping him up.
"Whenever you get anxious or start thinking bad things about yourself, you have to tell us, we love you so much and we hate seeing you like this, It hurts us. We want to help you." Zayn whispers in Niall's ear as he pulled him into a hug.
"I will try, I just don't want to bother you lads with all my problems," Niall whispers as they all stand together, not notice Cal who was taking a picture.
"You will never be a bother to us. We are your brothers. We are family." Liam smiles.
"Always and Forever?"
"Always and Forever!" The five Lads pulled each other into a group hug, holding onto each other as they have been for years. They were brothers and nothing was going to drag them down.
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Okay So.....
Requests for One Shots are closed for right now! I have like over 40 requests, from several months to from yesterday! Also I need to paid attention to my other stories that I have been forgetting to update! Sorry Guys! I need to focus on finishing these first... If you do have an idea/prompt, ONLY inbox me so you don't lose or forget it.. but just know it will be a while till I can do them.
Also a quick question...
When I update a One Shot, what makes you all read it, the title or when I put who it is centered around? I am thinking about just as the title doing who the One shot is centered around, cause I suck coming up with title names...
So I am finally going to answer the 50 questions I asked you all, but only 5 for each chapter...
So..
1) My favorite 1D lad is... NIALL!!!! with Liam close behind...
2) Favorite song from each album:
UAN: Moments or More than this
TMH: Oh dang... Ummm Little Things, She's not Afraid or I would...
MM: Strong, Don't forget where you belong, Little Black Dress, Better than Words or Does He know?
Four: Stockholm Syndrome,Where do Broken Hearts Go, No Control, Girl Almighty, Change Your Ticket or Illusion.
MITAM: End of the Day, Hey Angel, Wolves, Never Enough, Temporary Fix or Walking in the Wind.
3) I would live either in Germany, Ireland, Scotland, England, Sweden or Switzerland, since that is where my ancestors are come... I start a huge project on trying to find where my ancestors came from, and it is crazy some of the stories and all. It's soo cool!!
4) Biggest Fear: Honestly being alone, and losing my loved ones...
5) I have six older brothers... I am the youngest and only girl!! Alexander, Xavier, Dominic, Nathaniel, Dalton and Gordon. It gets a little crazy at the house, but oh well!