Chapter 32
I pulled into the park, the park where me and Rickey always spent our time when we were together. The park where everything he told me was a lie. The park where he had asked me to meet him at so we could talk after he informed me that his mom had died. I cut off my engine and my lights died off. I could see Rickey sitting in the swing as the lamp next to the swing set casted his shadow. I got out of the car and made my way over to him. It was early morning and I had school in the morning and here I was meeting with my ex to console him after everything he had put my through.
I went and took my seat in the swing adjacent to his, he had not yet looked at me and his head hung low. I knew how it felt. I had felt this way when my brother died which was most likely why I carried so much sympathy for him.
“Rickey?” I called out his name lowly. He glanced up at me and my heart went out to him. His eyes were bloodshot red and they had dark circles around him. His face said it all. He had lost the person that meant the most to him in this world. “Are you okay?” I asked knowing fully that he wasn’t.
“Is that a rhetorical question,” He asked with a chuckle.
“Rickey you don’t have to pretend to be strong. I know it hurts and I know---“
“I don’t think you do know Brielle. I know you lost your brother and all but she was the only thing I had left and without her I don’t see why I am still here.”
“Rickey don’t say that. I know you’re hurt and upset, but your mom wouldn’t want you to grieve over her forever. She’d want you to live your life and be the amazing guy that she raised you to be.”
“I can’t do it without her Brielle,” He said finally breaking down and showing all emotion. I went and kneeled down next to him.
“Rickey you can do it and your mom would want you to continue to great things. Graduate from college, get that job on sports center that you always wanted. Marry an incredible girl and have little Rickey’s” He chuckled and wiped the tears that had spilled from his eyes. He got on the ground with me and rested his head against the post of the swing set.
“I don’t know how you do it?”
“What?”
“Have such a big heart. I never would have thought that this would be you here right now Brielle, not after how I treated you. Any other person would have gotten even including me.”
“I’m not any other person,” I responded.
“I know, that’s what makes you so great,”
“Remember when we were dating and we went to Scooter’s and somehow Hope had gotten ahold to some liquor.” I chuckled knowing exactly what he was talking about.
“Yea, she was all over you that night and then she finally kissed you and called me a whore and said that I was only a pair of legs that you wanted to pass through.” As I said it out loud I realized that she was right. The atmosphere immediately changed for me and the situation became awkward.
“The next week when some girls ganged up on her and called her the same thing you stood up for her. Why?”
“I didn’t like being treated that way, so I know she didn’t and beside it was her against three girls. That’s horrible.”
“I would have joined the other three girls after how she acted.” He informed me. I laughed.
“You were cold!”
“No I wasn’t I just didn’t take any shit.”
“She was right though,” I told him
“Who Hope?”
“Yea I was just another pair of legs you wanted to pass through.”
“Brielle that isn’t true. I was stupid and heartless. Like you said I was cold I didn’t care about the people I hurt, but you were more than just that. I just didn’t realize it then. If I could go back and do it all over again I would have told the people who I thought were friends to go fuck themselves. I would have never even considered doing what I did.” I looked away from him and stared off into the distance. The sky was beginning to lighten up telling me that we had been out here for a while and that dawn would be approaching soon.
I felt his clammy fingers on my face as he turned it to face him. Why was I even here with him? I asked myself. I already knew the answer, he had pointed it out on more than one occasion, because I had a big heart and didn’t like to see anybody get hurt.
“I’m so sorry for what I did. I would never hurt you again Brielle. You of all people didn’t deserve to get treated like that.” He apologized.
“It’s okay Rickey, it was a while ago. It’s over.”
“It’s not okay though Brielle and I feel horrible.”
“Don’t! We all make mistakes.” He looked away from me taking and our surroundings and realizing that daylight had suck upon us.
“I’m sorry I kept you out here all night.”
“It’s okay, as long as you feel better now it was worth it.”
“I do, thanks for everything Brielle.”
“No problem” I said rising from my seat on the grass. We walked side by side to the parking lot.
“If I decided to go see my Dad would you still be okay with tagging along?”
“Of course,” I told him. We reached the cars and he turned to me and embraced me in a hug. It was the warmest embrace I had ever received from him and better than all the ones that we had shared put together.
“Thanks again.”
“I’m always here,” I told him before walking to my car and getting inside.
After leaving Rickey I drove home and instantly began getting ready for school and now here I was in my second class since I didn’t make it to first and tired as hell. The teacher was rambling on about things that nobody cared about and definitely didn’t even try to care about since we were so close to being done. I dozed off every minute and that’s how the next two classes seemed to go also.
By the time lunch was here I thought about just leaving and going home to sleep, since I had gotten barely any last night. I laid my head on the lunch table and was planning on crashing for the whole time, but Terry had other ideas.
“My baby is tired,” he said kissing my neck and rubbing my thigh.
“Terry stop,”
“I can make you wake up,” He said gravitating his hand up leg. I lifted my head and looked at him and couldn’t help but smile. He laughed before turning his attention on to the items he had gotten for lunch.
“Why weren’t you in first period?” He asked.
“I got here late,”
“Really?” He said sarcastically. I laughed.
“I was tired and just couldn’t make it on time Terry.”
“What happened? You left my place early.”
“Nothing, I just didn’t get any sleep.” I told him. He looked at me. Jace and Clary made their way to the table and took the attention off of me. Terry already wasn’t too fond of me hanging with Rickey so I didn’t feel the need to tell him. It’s not like Rickey and I were doing anything but talking. His mother had died and I was just consoling him. I laid my head back down on the table trying to catch at least some sleep.
“Why is Brielle so tired? You kept her up last night?” Jace joked.
“I wasn’t what kept her up, so it must have been someone else.” Terry stated and I could her the anger seeping out of his voice. I looked up at him and he turned his attention away from me giving me the cold shoulder.
“Really Terry? I’m just tired.” I snapped.
“So why are you getting so offended?” He asked.
“Jace lets go to bathroom before class starts.” Clary said.
“What? Baby this is getting good.”
“Jace!”
“I’m not even done ea---“
“Jace” She scolded. He sighed before getting up.
“I’ll catch up with you later man.” Jace said to Terry.
“Alright,” Terry replied.
“Bye Brielle.” Clary said giving me a sincere look.
“See you later Clary,” I watched Terry as he continued to eat his food, not even acknowledging my presence as if I had left to.
“Terry,”
“Yea?” He answered still not looking at me.
“Stop being like that towards me. You know I hate it.”
“Then stop lying to me. You may think you’re a good liar but I’ve learned to know when something’s up and when you are not telling me the truth. All I ask is the truth from you B.” I sighed.
“I met up with Rickey last night. He called me and asked me if we could talk, his mom died and I told him if he ever needed me he could call me. All I did was console him and time just got away. Nothing happened we just talked.” I told him.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to think it was something more than what it was.”
“Why would I think that?”
“Because Terry you questioned me before on if I was doing anything with him and I didn’t want you to think the worst.”
“I think the worst when you don’t tell me anything. You told me yall were discussing private issues. What the hell am I supposed to take from that?”
“I know, im sorry Terry. It sounded wrong, but he doesn’t mean anything like that to me. I’m just offering a helping hand. “
“Im sorry for not telling you Terry,” I said leaning my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and hugged me against him.
“I love you,” I told him.
“I love you too. You want to leave and go get some rest.”
“Are you going to actually let me get rest?” I asked him. He smiled.
“Of course.”
“You are a total liar, but I’ll take you up on it.” He laughed.
“Let’s go then beautiful.”
I lay in bed with Terry’s arm draped over my waist. His fingers drew shapes on my bare stomach. He had lied. I didn’t get any rest. It was now in the evening and I was dog tired and ready to sleep. I grabbed Terry’s hand and interlaced my fingers through his.
“Can you promise me something Terry?”
“Anything,”
“Promise me that you’ll always stay in my life no matter what.”
“I plan to B,” He said tightening his hold around my waist. He kissed my shoulder as he removed his hand from mine and rubbed it across my side.
“Can you promise me the same?” he asked.
“I promise Terry,” I told him as I turned over and snuggled against him. I kissed his lips before burying my head into his chest and giving in to the sleep that had been taking over my body.
I woke up in the middle of the night to complete darkness. I turned over and could make out Terry’s shadowy silhouette. I silently made my way out his bed downstairs for a drink. I noticed that the kitchen light was on as I made my way down the stairs and figured that it was just left on by Terry’s Dad or something. I reached the bottom and heard two hushed voices talking.
“I’m sick,” I heard a woman’s voice say.
“What do you mean sick?” I heard Terry’s Dad ask.
“I’m really sick and If I don’t get what I need I’m going to die.” I stopped outside the kitchen to continue to listen; now realizing that Terry’s mom was the voice that I was hearing.
“What do you need?”
“A bone marrow transplant.” She stated and just like that it all began to click. That’s the reason she had come back. Terry was right. She was selfish and she was only here because she wanted something.
“How long have you known you’ve been sick?” Mr. C asked.
“W-what?” She stuttered.
“How long?” He asked raising his voice and causing the hairs on my arms to stand up.
“A while,”
“What’s a while Cathy?”
“C-chad liste---“
“Did you know about this before you moved down here?” He asked. Nothing was said. It was pure silence and she had confirmed her only reason for being here.
“Get out of my house and don’t come back!” Mr. C said menacingly.
“Chad please! I just need for you to talk to Terry.”
“My son wants nothing to do with you.”
“Chad please!”
“Ask him yourself, but the best thing you can do for him as a mother is go away, now leave my house!” I begin to back away from the kitchen to hide when I bumped into something causing my heart to race from being caught. I turned around quickly.
“Oh my gosh Terry,” I whispered. Every emotion was displayed on his face. He was angry, he was furious but most of all he was hurt and it broke my heart to see him like that. I reached out and grabbed his hand as I heard footsteps behind me.
“Terry,” She said. I looked back at her. “I’m sorry son,”
“I’m not your son.” It was the coldest and harshest that I had ever heard Terry’s voice sound.
“I didn’t want to come back on these terms,”
“So why did you?”
“I needed you,”
“Just like I needed you when you left. Is this why you started writing me?” She said nothing.
“I’m glad you left out of my life. I probably would have turned out horrible if you had been the one who raised me. You’re a selfish conniving bitch. You owe my Dad a huge apology for wasting his time. Don’t ever step foot in this house again.” She glanced from Terry to Chad and back to Terry before leaving the house and leaving us in silence. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to say anything to break the silence and I wasn’t going to move until Terry did. I tightened my hold on his hand and he looked at me.
“Let’s go back to bed.” He said before turning around and headed back up the stairs. I looked at Mr. C and gave him a sincere look before following Terry up the stairs. I know that Terry was hurt but I knew that Mr. C would be too and still having Terry give him the silent treatment wasn’t going to make it any easier on him.
Terry closed the door and went and took his seat on the bed. I went and sat next to him and held his hand.
“Terry are you okay?”
“No,” He said in a whisper.
“I’m sorry Terry,”
“Let’s go back to bed,” He said avoiding the entire situation. I sighed crawling into bed next to him. I draped my arm over his waist as I buried my face into his chest eventually falling asleep.