I blinked once.
Twice.
Three times.
It was real.
Not only the kiss, but also the realization. I had known for quite a while deep down but I just didn't want to say it. The realization that I actually had feelings for Xander.
I was hurt, things seemed to be going in slow motion. I couldn't stop the hatred that coursed through my body. I was mad at Evangeline, for showing up and ruining the conversation me and Xander were having. Who am I kidding, I was mad at her for kissing Xander.
I was mad at Xander.
He flirted with girls, that just made me jealous.. but this.. I was mad. It was wrong of me to blame then though. Evangeline might not have made the move if I had actually admitted that I liked him, but still she knew he was my master.
No.
That meant nothing.
Just my master.
Would he want to swap her for me? I was seriously over-thinking right now. I slowly removed myself from the trance I was in, just in time to see Evangeline drop from her tip-toes with a soft smile. Xander's eyes were wide in surprise, his brow furrowed in confusion.
Sure.
Evangeline's eyes snapped to me. They lit up immediately ,"Milania!" She sang,a huge smile growing on her face.
You better wipe that motherf*ckin smile off your face before I slap it off.
Seriously? You can't be that jealous you're actually annoyed at her.
"Hello" I put on a tiny fake smile, my voice was almost a whisper. My eyes flickered to Xander who's jaw was tightened, while he stared at me. He didn't know what to say. He seemed to be giving me a pleading look but I quickly ignored it, flashing my eyes back to Eva.
She gave me a strange look before the smile returned to her face. "I came here to thank you!" I tilted my head, "Thank me?"
"About leaving-"
"Haven't you thanked me enough?" ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU JUST SNAP AT A GOD DAMN SWEET GIRL.
I quickly had to save it when I saw her brow furrow, "Because your voice is going to disappear if you keep thanking me" I forced out a fake laugh and the smile returned to her face. I could see Xander in the back.
His eyes were on me the whole time, watching me like a hawk.
The image of Eva and him kissing again appeared and I had to do my best not to be upset about it. Why did it hurt so much? "Uhm..." I couldn't think of what to say, "A-anyway Evangeline, I was just about to go do some shopping so I'll talk to you later"
I had to get out of there. It was too crowded... well in reality it wasn't crowded at all. I pushed past her, not missing the confused look that appeared on her face. I kept my eyes load when I headed toward the door, not wanting to even so much as glance at Xander.
I was just about to be free when a strong grip appeared on my wrist.
Of course. I should have just taken the back door.
"Let go" My voice was barely audible.
"Look at me" He whispered back but his voice was demanding. It took me a moment before slowly raising my eyes.
He watched me with a sad expression, almost begging me, "Mil-"
"Let.me.go" I gritted my teeth but it only made his grip on my wrist tighter.
"I promise you I didn't-"
I tugged my hand away, putting so much force into it I stumbled back before quickly catching myself on the door to my relief. Evangeline was just watching us in confusion.
Xander's eyes pleaded with mine, but I turned away, storming off to wherever. I could hear footsteps after me and I whipped around, eyeing him "You dare come after me and so help me god, Xander Hawke, I will beg your uncle to take me back!" I growled.
A look of hurt crossed his face. I didn't care. Okay I kind of d-. No he kissed her.
I swallowed a lump in my throat before turning away and walking off. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn't hear his footsteps. It was going to be so awkward having to return to that house tonight but I really needed to cool off.
Maybe I could rent a room in a cheap hotel or something. Wait I had no money on me, just my loyal phone. I let out a sigh, looking up at the sun setting. I hated being alone in the dark but I was way to stubborn to return.
A cold breeze made me shiver lightly but I didn't bother wrapping my arms around myself. I pushed on down the sidewalk , eyeing my surroundings. It was pleasantly quiet, the birds singing in the trees were soothing.
It would be pretty cool to be a bird. The freedom, flying to wherever you want to be. Not worrying about money... or crushes. Did birds have crushes? Where was my mind even going to right now...
My eyes landed to a small stone and I kicked it along the sidewalk, wherever the rock went I'd follow. Maybe it'd leave me someplace awesome, I joked with myself.
Please, nothing was awesome in this world. Wherever you went, something would charge at you and just.... boom, kick you right back down.
I hummed quietly to myself, counting the goosebumps on my arm. I should have taken a jacket and angrily swatted it in Xander's face, that would have been quite the exit. Maybe even strangle Eva.... just kidding.... maybe...
I rolled my eyes at my crap jokes. Did I seriously think I was funny?
The sky had grown darker pretty quick and it was now a midnight blue color. I let out a gentle sigh, the vapor from my breath appearing due to the cold. I had counted only four cars drive by me at this stage.
The next one seemed to slow down and my heart quickened. I could hear it's engine almost come to a halt before I realized it was only going over a bump before it sped up and drove away.
Perfect, now I was getting paranoid.
I fiddled with my fingers, trying to keep myself entertained before remembering my phone. I tugged it out and turned my phone on. Twenty percent battery life.
I couldn't even keep myself amused with my goddamn phone now incase I was kidnapped. I seriously needed battery life if someone stole me.
I needed to stop thinking about this stuff.
It felt like I had been walking for half an hour now but it couldn't have been that long already. I had felt my phone going off six times in my pocket which I'm guessing was Xander trying to call me. Did he seriously think I was going to answer?
Suddenly I took on my surroundings. Another car, slowing down, it's lights guiding my path away. I looked to my left slightly but there were no bumps... it wasn't slowing down for a bump.
My heartbeat quickened as the car continued at it's slow pace following right behind me. It sounded like a truck maybe. Oh god.
Images of Mr. Tyreese popped into my imagination. The moment I heard the door of the truck or car open that was it. I wasn't waiting. I sprinted off full speed, trying to keep my breaths even so I wouldn't have to stop running.
I could almost hear footsteps and I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or if they were actually footsteps. A sick feeling appeared in my stomach at the thought of the event that happened the other night. I couldn't help the warm tears that slowly dripped down my face.
A burning feeling appeared in my throat and my chest. The sprinting and cold air weren't going well together. I made my way toward what seemed to be a local park, taking a millisecond to glance back. My, now, weak and tired legs slowed down and it was hard to stand on them I was shaking.
I slowly limped toward a bench and planted my bottom down, letting out uneven breaths that stung my throat. I brought my hand to my heart, wishing that I was home... before Evangeline appeared in my mind.
Maybe I could stay over at the hospital with Tina. I knew if I asked her, she's through a tantrum until the nurses allowed me. Why hadn't I thought of this earlier? I reached for my pocket, tugging my phone out.
Just as I was about to turn the screen on my heart dropped when I saw a figure in the reflection before some sheet or fabric was dropped on top of me. I let out a high pitched scream, jumping up to get away from my kidnapped but instead fell, as my vision was being blocked.
I was about to try to run but I gave up. My legs were to weak to carry me and my throat burned. I closed my eyes, almost out of tears.
Slowly the fabric was lifted off of me, the cold wind immediately hitting my body. I waited for someone to knock me out but instead my face was cupped. I snapped my eyes open, the first person coming into mind Nick.
But no.
My heart.. I don't know if it was happy or sad to see him. The worried expression on his face appeared as he studied my face. "Milania" He just said my name before wiping a tear away and pulling me up. I stood, not making any movement but allowed him to put the jacket that he must have brought on me.
I thought it was to tie me up... but no.. it was just a jacket.
"You're shaking" He wrapped his arm around me, leading me from the park. It was probably his car that slowed down, but it sounded more like a truck. I was just being delusional.
If I wasn't cold, terrified, feeling weak as hell I would have pushed him away and argued but I just stayed silent. Then I was floating.
No he was just carrying me,bridal style. But I said nothing, I just stayed silent until we reached the car and he slowly lowered me to the ground at the front passenger side where he opened the door for me. I reluctantly stepped in and the door was quickly shut, the bang causing me to jump.
Almost a second later he was in the driver's seat and turning on the heater to full blast. It felt so good.... like warm heaven.
"Milania" His voice interrupted the silence.
"What?" I tried to put in a rude tone but my voice was barely audible and was flat.
"I didn't kiss her"
"You didn't push her away" I argued.
"I was in surprise. What if..." He seemed to think, "Nick just jumped on you, you'd be shocked to"
"No, I'd kiss him back" I smiled internally to myself when I saw his body go rigid next to me.
"I'm not joking around Mils" His voice was serious now, "I have no feelings for her. I told you, I only have eyes for a certain person"
I stayed silent, my heart beginning to beat quicker.
Calm down girl.
"Yeah right" I scoffed, "You flirt with every girl! You even kissed one now, that's not someone who had feeling for only one person."
"It's someone who's trying to get attention from that one person, hoping to make her jealous" He sighed, "And I told you, I didn't kiss her. I didn't enjoy it."
He sounded so truthful and it made me want to believe him. He was almost pleading with me and it made my heart melt. I couldn't help but feel bad.. had I maybe a tiny bit over-reacted?
I said nothing again, just sat in silence.
His hand reached my chin, taking it lightly and turning it toward him. "Milan, I've had eyes for you sine the day I met you. I thought being mean would get your attention.. and it did, but not in a good way. I always thought of apologizing but that was never me and I loved when you fought back"
My face was heating up.
"When you're face contorted from that delighted face to the frustrated one when you saw me always made me laugh. I loved how you spoke your mind and you weren't afraid to stand up to anyone."
Stop stop stop.
"In fact.. I had a few wet dreams about you, even after I left the school"
There we go. That line, he had to add that in. I narrowed my eyes which only made his light up with amusement at my reaction before turning serious again, "I'm so sorry for all the hurt I've caused you"
My heart was about to pop out from my chest. It was silent as we stared at each other, he was so sincere that I believed it straight away.
I bit my lip, holding back any sounds that threatened to escape. "Milan" He purred, "What have I told you about biting your lip? Don't seduce me" My chest rose up and down while we watched each other.
I had the urge to just lean in and kiss him.
Just when I was going to he spoke, "So I'm going to be your baby daddy now, right?" I let out a groan at his words, throwing my eyes up. He could never be serious.
"I was just about to kiss you and you have to ruin it!"
His face dropped, "You were?" I nodded my head, "But no, just take us home"
No.
He was stubborn.
So instead he leaned in and placed his lips on mine muttering three words that were barely audible.
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Surprise long chapter!!!
I wont be off till friday so I felt bad and was like, I need to give those loyal gorgeous readers something. So ta-da!
Can I just say, I was dying at your guys reaction Eva kissing Xander, I lurve you!
(Not edited)