"You tell me that you're sad and lost your way
You tell me that your tears are here to stay
But I know you were only hiding
And I just wanna see ya"
------------
{Luna}
The highlight of every year for me is driving up to Williamsport for the little league World Series. It's basically my second home.
Being there reminds me of the memories I had with my mom before she passed on. My fondest moment of being there with my mom was in 2010 and though I was only 8, I remember this moment almost as clear as day. We snuck into Volunteer stadium after hours and my mom set down a blanket in right field. Then we laid down on the blue blanket and just stared at the millions of stars, but especially the moon.
My mom loved the moon almost as much as me. That's how I got my name, Luna.
She thought it would be a bit weird to just call me 'moon' so she named me Luna. My name is the only thing I have left of my mom, besides coming back to the little league World Series.
I guess that's why I'm still breathing today.
-
"Come on Luna! It's your favorite part of coming back here" my dad says after parking in the parking lot for the grove "unpacking"
I give him a small smile and unbuckle my seat belt.
We always come eight days before the LLWS starts, and the players come seven days before it starts.
Usually the guys are very kind to me, but I don't bother getting in there way while their here (besides taking pictures with them).
I walk to the back of our black truck and then I'm handed my box that is filled of all the things I need while I'm here.
"You can head up to your dorm...there are no girls this year so you have it to yourself." He says after shutting the back of the truck.
"It's fine...I'd rather be alone" I say and move some of my dark hair out of my face.
"I'll be in my office at headquarters, and if you need me or anyone you have all our numbers" he says and points to a building to the right of us.
"Okay I'll just unpack, and then I'll drive over to headquarters" I say, and what I mean when I said
I'll drive over to headquarters is that I'll drive a golf cart because it's a little far and down hill from the dorms.
I learned how to drive a golf cart three years ago. It's pretty handy when I have to go place to place.
"And Luna" my dad says before sitting down in a golf cart "please don't do anything that will make me regret leaving you alone."
"I won't..." I say and shake my head "promise..."
The second year after my mom died I began to harm myself because in some twisted way it made all the pain and all the sadness go away temporarily. My dad saw my scars this year, and ever since then he has be very protective of me, but he still gives me my space which I am grateful for.
He drives down towards headquarters leaving me alone by the dorms, cafeteria, pool, hangout area, so basically the section sectioned off for the players only.
I walk toward the dorm only for the girl little leaguers( that are playing in the guys league) , but in this case for me. I stay here in this dorm every summer. Last year I was lucky enough to have two other girls with me, but this year it's just me.
I open the door and inside the room are six bunk beds.
I just choose a random one to put my box on while I put away my other stuff.
There is one dresser in here, and now that it's only me I have the whole thing for myself.
I separate my clothes by shorts, short sleeve shirts, pajamas, undergarments, and sweats & sweatshirts(trust me it can get cold at night here).
Once I put my clothes away, make my bed, and put my toiletries in the bathroom I take out the most important things I own. My drawing notepad and assortment of pencils.
I'm in love with drawing. I've been told by many that I should enter my drawings in contests, but my drawings are way too personal to be displayed because they come from the heart.
In my journal it shows my life and feelings through drawings. I've never shown anyone. Except my mom of course because we were so close, I guess that's why I'm still so depressed about her death.
-
"Hun slow down! Wouldn't want you getting hurt" Gwen says with a laugh after I almost hit her as she's walking because I'm speeding on a golf cart to get to headquarters.
Before she was my dad's assistant, she was basically my baby sitter until I became so used to this place that I can walk everywhere with a blind fold and not get lost.
I drive as fast as I can to headquarters because apparently the first team is supposed to be arriving any second, and my dad wants me to meet them.
He's giving me extra work this year since there are no girls for me to hang out with. I'm basically going to be with the teams 24/7.
I speed into a random parking space and pull out the key before jumping out of the cart and running in the building.
I run into the lobby and just my luck my dad is speaking to the players at the moment. They are all wearing something that has red on it like a shirt, a hat, or even shorts. Some are even wearing bucket hats. I notice that they don't have their bags and that their coaches are not with them.
They all turn to me and my dad's face lights up.
"Luna! Say hello to this year's Mid Atlantic team" he says with a grin. He treats every single team like they're his children.
"Hello" I say Andy half smile
"I'm going to call Gwen over here so that her, you, and I can drive these boys to the grove" he says "fill free to talk amongst yourselves as you wait"
After he says that he excuses himself to call Gwen.
I awkwardly stand by the glass doors while the boys are talking or on their phones.
I don't bother taking out my phone because I know we are leaving soon.
"Luna I'm going to kick your butt if you keep parking the golf cart like shi–" Gwen starts to say when she walked in, but she stopped herself because she didn't know that the boys were actually waiting in the lobby.
Most of them now turn to her.
"Whoops" she whispers to me.
Gwen is only 27, so she is like the older sister Ive never had. Except she looks nothing like me. She's tall, very thin, tan, and has blonde hair.
I'm short, average build, pale, and I have dark hair.
"Good you're here Gwen! Follow me outside of headquarters boys." My dad says and holds the door open for all of them to exit while Gwen and I step aside.
I walk to the door and hold it open for Gwen so she can walk out, and then I shut the door and walk to my golf cart and wait for instructions.
"Luna I need you to squeeze four guys on your cart is that fine?" My dad asks me while counting all of them.
"Yeah that's fine...Choose who ever you want to come on " I say and stick the key in the ignition. Then I sit in the drivers spot.
My cart can fit two people in the front, and two people in the back so one of them is going to have to sit on someone.
"Luna this is Cole, Braden, Adam, and Kaden." My dad says and points to each boy as he says each name.
"Okay see you at the grove." I say to him "okay so this only fits four people and there are five of us so one of you has to sit on someone."
"I call sitting on Kaden!" Braden (I think) tells the other guys.
"I call shotgun" Cole says, then he turns to me "if that's fine with you"
"It's fine" I say "Hop on, and hold on because I'm a reckless driver"
I switch gears, and after making sure they are all sitting I turn out of the parking lot and drive a steady pace to the Grove.
"So you're...Luna right? Do you work here" Cole asks beside me
"I am." I say while still looking forward to make sure I don't hit anyone "to answer your other question...yes and no"
"What do you mean?" He asks confused and puts his arm kind of behind my back on the seat I'm sitting against. He's getting comfortable I guess.
"Well I'm my dad runs this organization so I've been coming here every summer since I was two" I tell him and make a turn
"That's so cool! So you basically grew up here?" He asked and he looks genuinely interested.
"Uh yeah this is my second home." I say and park next to Gwen's cart and see that the other boys are getting off the carts and staring at the dorms in awe.
"Woah!" Adam says "that's 16 dorms?"
"Well four dorms with four rooms in each one. Plus an extra room in the dorm you guys are at." I answer him and take the key out.
"I thought there were sixteen teams" Kaden says while stepping off of the golf cart.
"Well we have an extra one for the girls playing in the guy's league." I say and park by Gwen.
"Oh there's a girl this year?" Braden asks
"Nope not this year, so I get the whole room filled with six bunks to myself this year." I say and stand by the golf cart and rock back & forth on my heels.
"Boys, if you would please gather around over here!" My dad says and the four boys I drove over here all start walking over to him except Adam.
"Thanks for driving, even though it was really short. Nice meeting you, and I'm saying that on behalf of Cole, Braden, Kaden and I" he says and then he jogs back to his teammates.
I hear one of the guys say 'stop flirting Cramer' and then he just laughs and he punches the boy's shoulder that's standing by him.
I'm used to it when people think I'm flirting with the players, because I'm always around them. I just never hang out with them. I don't want to get to attached if I ever try to...well never mind I've promised myself I wouldn't...for my dad, and most importantly for my mom. My angel.
-
Hi guys!
This story is for the people who are struggling with depression whether it's because of the loss of a loved one, or if you're getting bullied, or if you don't feel loved or wanted(you'll see what I mean when i get more into the story).
Let me tell you this right now. Though I don't personally know you, you can talk to me. I want to be the one to listen when no one else will. I will try my hardest to make you smile or give you words of advice and/or encouragement.
Please promise me if you are depressed that you will keep fighting the negative thoughts.
Stay strong and all the love as always... Xx