Alex's POV
Pain is the only emotion that makes us feel truly alive. Once in a while it is required to be felt with all that we got.
"Run Alexandra, before it is too late. Open your eyes and see what your family has done!"
I didn't want to open my eyes, mostly because I know what it is happening around me. So many screams, so many people in agony. For some reason I can't move. It's like my feet are glued to the ground. All I can do is sit and watch as the world around me crumbles to the floor.
I have never been an asthmatic but right now breathing seems like one of the hardest tasks I have ever done.
"You did this Alexandra aren't you proud?!" The voice kept on screaming. Piercing right through my skull like a thousand needles. My hands reached for my ears trying to block the sounds away. My skin is burning and suddenly I began to feel all the open wounds I've got.
A scream escaped my lips not being able to handle such pain.
"Please just make it stop!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Finally all I felt was as my heart got ripped out of my chest. My eyes shot wide open and I could see what my family had done. I could see what I had done. I couldn't protect them like they expected me to. At the end I couldn't even save myself.
****
Gasping my eyes opened only to be greeted by the darkness of my room. My heart was going like a thousand miles per hour, sweat was covering my forehead and my claws were out. Trying to keep my breathing at balance I quickly got up. I stood in front of my full length mirror. My eyes shining like two golden suns combined. They were the only light in my room. I kept staring at them till they went back to normal. I looked at the clock next to my bed to see the time.
2:36 a.m.
With a groan I laid back down. My chest was hurting but not superficially. The kind of hurt many wish to avoid. School is in a few hours and I wish I could just stay here. If only these feelings got solved. I can't deny that my feelings for Kristen grow each day more, but my feelings for Cassie are so sincere. They both bring the best out of me and I don't know what would I do if one of them left completely.
None of this is fair for Cassidy. She got brought into this because of me, but I never thought that this would happen. The hours passed like minutes, at least that's how it felt.
I was already dressed for school when my dad barged in with a cake. It instantly made me smile. He also reminded me that today is my birthday, which I had forgotten about thanks to the many odds.
"There's my baby girl, happy birthday beautiful." He placed the cake on the nightstand before he hugged me tight. I just stayed there enjoying his warm embrace. It's been a while since we have been this close. All because of me. I have pushed him kind of away which is shitty of me. He has always been such a caring father.
"Thanks dad" I said still with my face buried in his chest. "Are you alright Alex?" He asked concerned. I just shook my head and before I knew it, my tears were cascading like Niagara Falls.
"Alex darling what's wrong?" I stared into his hazel eyes this time, he wiped away my tears making me smile. I can't believe that I broke down like that especially on my birthday.
"Everything is wrong dad, my life turned into this huge mess. Even bigger than the one before. Don't get me wrong there have been things that I've completely love, but I just wish I could have a normal day without any worry in the world."
"Then take it Alexandra, you are still so very young. You shouldn't be worrying this much. Life is about what makes you happy. If you spend it worrying about every single thing around you, how can you possibly find your place on this earth? You need to take your chances, live enjoy every single small thing, life is beautiful."
"Thank you dad, not only for those words but for the life you have given me as well. I never asked for any of it yet I still have everything and that's all because of you."
"You're going to make a grown man cry." He joked and kissed my forehead. I only smiled missing these type of moments with my dad.
"Now eat your cake, I spent a lot of hours trying to bake that myself." It caused me to laugh, the cake was a little one and I could just imagine my dad baking. Mostly receiving help from our cook.
"I'll eat it on my way to school. I'm running late." I kissed his cheek and grabbed the cake before running out of the house.
The drive to school got me thinking of many things. For some reason I was nervous to see Cassidy. We used to talk about this day and our plans, yet now we are on a break. As I got to school it was already packed. Finals are taking a toll on everyone including myself. I still don't know how I manage to get good grades. I barely study.
"Alex babe you made it!" Penelope said as she ran into my arms. I spun her around smiling like a fool. I will be lying if I said I didn't miss this affection coming from my closest friends.
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked her curious.
"I don't know your dad has always plans for you guys." She was right, and now that she mentioned it, I find it quite weird that he didn't say anything. Letting it pass, I greeted all of my friends with a big smile. I had to be careful picking up Jamie considering her state, but that didn't mean I couldn't hug the life out of her.
"Hey guys I'll catch up with you later. I need to gather my things from my locker." They nodded and headed to their first class. I almost ran down the corridors. Almost came to an abrupt stop when Cassidy's scent hit me like a tidal wave, creating all sorts of different emotions. She was standing by her locker, looking for her things as well.
'Stop thinking so much about it, talk to her Alex.' My wolf encouraged. As my feet started moving, Rydelle came out of the blue and hugged her from behind. Almost instantly my blood began to boil. It took all my self control to stay calm. Cassidy was smiling at her but it seemed forced. That is until her hazel eyes met mine. I didn't even attempt to look away. I wanted her to know I was here and fuck it even jealous of this perky bitch. Rydelle looked my direction, her lips formed into a smirk. Making my fists crave the sensation of making contact with her perfect nose. As much as I hate to admit it, Rydelle is beautiful. You can just tell she works out hard. She is not buff or manly, her body is just perfect in every aspect. Even her skin looks tender and moist. Not to mention those odd eyes of hers.
To avoid any confrontations, I just moved along to my first class. Already hating the fact that Cassidy has a girl like Rydelle chasing after her, maybe this is Karma biting my ass. As I took my usual seat, Cassidy walked in. My heart was still pounding hard. All I needed right now was to kiss her. To be reminded of her sweet taste. Not that I have forgotten. This is all my doing.
The class went on, I really like Marcus but this class sucks terribly. But yet again almost every class does. I kept taking glances towards Cassie, her eyes only caught me once. I could tell that she was trying to stay focused on the lecture and not me. Which bothered me. As the bell rang, she almost ran with Clover out of the class. Leaving me here dissapointed. She didn't even say happy birthday.
By the middle of the school day. I was already fed up. Ready to go home or kill someone. At launch my eyes kept looking for Cassie, but she wasn't anywhere to be found. The last ten minutes of it, she came in with Rydelle by her side. My anger reached a high level, but there was nothing I could do about it. I guess what they say it's true. Jealousy is a bitch. Today we have practice, but I am honestly not in the mood. That is until last period came. Seeing Cassidy in her spandex shorts and team shirt. I almost had a heart attack. Each time she jumped to block the ball from reaching her side of the court, the muscles of her thighs flexed. I was swallowing hard, the dirty thoughts running through my head weren't helping at all. Remembering how she moaned my name and how sweet she tasted when I ran my tongue over her....
"See something you like?" My thoughts were cut short thanks to the voice beside me. I looked at Clover without being able to hide my blush.
"You guys need to get your shit together, especially you. I mean look at that girl she is fucking flawless. Not to mention she is head over heels for you. What else could you possibly want Alexandra Halsey?"
"I don't want to hurt her." I said almost out of breath.
"News for you honey you already are. If you love her freaking show it and stop messing around with Kristen and if you don't then do the right thing and let her go. She deserves to be happy. Not to be all sad over you."
Clover is right. This break thing needs to end. In two more days I will come up with the right decision. Either love her or let her go. I need to stop being selfish.
After what felt like forever, with a half smile Cassie approached me. My heart was beating so hard I was afraid she could hear it. My palms became sweaty and all I could think about is how beautiful she is.
"Hey Alex." She said with a light blush.
"Hey Cass." I really just wanted to hug her. Feel her warmth cloud my own body. "I know it's been a while, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday." It made me smile even though on the inside I was dying.
Without saying anything, my arms just brought her close to my body. Her body tensed but soon relaxed, molding into mine. Her scent as always calmed my beating heart. Even if she is all sweaty, she still smells like vanilla. When her arms snaked around my waist I felt as if once again I was brought home.
"I missed you." She didn't say anything back, but how could she? I was the one that ruined everything she was just trying to stay strong. Her hazel eyes met mine, desperately looking for answers. I was trying hard to let her know that I truly love her.
"Your eyes always seem to melt my heart no matter what, tell me Alex what did I do to deserve this?" As I was going to answer her almost plead Rydelle came to her side.
"Cass, coach needs you. He said it's important." If looks could kill this girl would be far long dead by now. Cassidy kissed my cheek before running back or maybe just away from me. I tried to do the same, leave. But Rydelle's eyes kept on teasing me, to the point where I balled my fist.
"You don't deserve Cassidy, she could do so much better. You're an idiot."
"Stay the hell away from her, you have no idea of the things I could do for her."
"Oh I have a pretty good idea, you think that because your daddy has money you can scare me? Let me tell you something Halsey, I know perfectly whom am I dealing with, unlike you. Do not mess with me or her. You are not the only one with power around here sweetheart. I do my research pretty damn well and you just might be surprised by all the things I know." She winked at me before walking off like nothing happened. The way she spoke and looked at me made me believe she knows more than I would like her to.
Her voice seems oddly familiar though.
Breaking my chain of thoughts along with anger, Kylie's voice echoed in my head. "Come by the pack house when practice is done." Not wanting to keep torturing myself I just went to the locker room and changed into my normal attire. My SUV was parked not far ahead, yet I begun to feel fatigued which is impossible considering my well built stamina. The air carried an unknown scent. Like some sort of herb. My dreams flood my head, mostly in all my nightmares I begin to feel fatigued as the world around me crumbles to floor. Something in my gut kept telling me that things aren't exactly getting better. The waters are always calm before a strong current comes to wash it all away. To wash us all away.
"Alex? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just need a moment Mark." Seeing my twin brother made me feel better. Safer. Even though my paranoid feelings were still there, he made sure to calm them.
"Hand me the keys, it's better if I drive."
"What about your truck?" I asked still a bit out of breath.
"I'll ask Nicko to come get it." All I did was nod. He opened the door for me, making me smile and grateful all at the same time. I have an amazing brother. Half of our way there was quiet. We haven't talked as much since everything was laid down for us on the table. Yet our connection is still pretty damn strong. I can even feel when he is sad.
"Happy birthday little bro." I joked causing a bright smile to appear on his very masculine face.
"You only beat me by six minutes big sist."
"Meaning even then I had my game going strong." We both laughed in unison. Realizing that this is in fact our first time celebrating as siblings.
"How is everything going Mark?" I asked serious this time. He has been dealing with a lot as well.
"I don't know how to answer that question, but I can try." I nodded understanding where he is going with the topic. Since the moment I met Mark I knew he had a problem expressing his words. Like me in sort way.
"Everything has gotten hard, I mean, last year this time around all we were doing was fooling around with the pack, enjoying things. I know that things can't stay good for long, I just wasn't ready for such a big change. I have been beating myself up, Alex how on earth could I have missed that you and I were related? For years we have been interacting with each other. Since the very first time I felt closer to you than anyone else. I just wanted to protect you. Knowing all the things you had endure, all I wanted was to make it better. Offer you another life. I was always talking about you with Marcus, he even thought I had a crush on you. When he finally understood he decided to change you, and what happens? A freaking curse runs in your blood thanks to our mother. Everything starts to go down hill. So many secrets and lies. You and I being the victims of their own mess. They kept us apart for seventeen years and also what's the deal with us and love? It's like that's another freaking curse. First mom, then me and now you." The vein on his forehead was popping out, he had a lot to say. What scares me is that all of it is anger. He is so angry at everyone and even himself. It breaks my heart.
"Mark none of this was your fault. You know since the beginning I also had a strong connection with you, but it never ocurred to me that we were related at all. Marcus, dad and mom they made a lot of mistakes, dragging us along with all of them but what's done is done. Little by little you need to move on. Looking back will only get you stuck. Think of now, we are reunited, twins for heavens sake that's awesome!"
"Damn right it is. And you're right, it's just that sometimes letting go is harder than you think. Oh and Alex."
I looked at him to find his eyes upon me. The roads were clear so it wasn't dangerous. My silence told him to carry on with the sentence which he did. Though his next words hit me like a cannon ball right to my stomach.
"Don't let go of the good you have. Cassidy has always been your anchor. She has kept you balanced right when you thought you were going to fall down. Yeah Kristen is amazing and you may have develop feelings for her, but deep down you know that Cassidy is the one. Since the moment you saw her walk through those school doors you knew you were in love with her. Don't play with their feelings, Kris is really into you but she doesn't deserve to be just your second best and Cassie doesn't deserve to be kept waiting. This whole mate situation has got me fucked up. I messed with Raven, such an amazing girl. Just because I wasn't sure. Yes I may always have feelings for Jamie but not as strong as I do for Raven and now I'm losing her to Mariah. Don't be an idiot like your twin brother."
What hurts the most is that he is correct with every single word. I have no right to be playing with such good hearts. Like Mark said, Kris will always be there in my heart, but truth is that if I lose Cassidy I would go crazy.
"Thank you Mark." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. These are the moments where I am glad to have him. As we made it to the pack house, many cars were parked outside. We could hear music and chattering. Just great a party. I let out a sigh, not really feeling the party mood.
"Everything will work out just fine, let's smile for the night. For our parents okay?" Once again I just nodded. We walked hand in hand inside the mansion. The place was crowded. With both packs here and even unknown faces. After what seemed like forever, we finished greeting everyone. Even my dad was here with his girlfriend. It makes me happy to know that he is getting along with Jules again.
There is one person missing. My wolf reminded. All of our friends and family were here. But not her.
"Happy birthday gorgeous." I turned only to see those two blue orbs and a bright smile on her face.
"Thank you Kris." I hugged her tight making her laugh. If only she knew this is goodbye to whatever it is we have. I didn't have to wait two days, not even twelve hours. My mind is clear as day now. It still hurts, but it needs to be done.
"Can we talk in a more private place?" Her eyes stared at mine with a hint of confusion in them. Nonetheless she nodded. We began walking towards the house studio. Making sure no one was around. I wanted to make things right. She deserves to be free from all of my drama. She deserves to find someone that is perfect for her.
"What do you want to talk about?" Oh that accent. Why is she so flawless and perfect? Enough Alex.
"It's about us... I have feelings for you Kris, I really do." She didn't let me finish before she spoke.
"But your true feelings aren't for me. Alex I am not blind. I know that Cassidy is your one true love." It broke me to hear her. She was trying hard to keep herself composed. I could tell by the way she was holding onto the wooden desk, her eyes were a lighter shade of blue. She was trying to swallow the lump in her throat.
"I was just hoping for an us. Even though at the end I was going to get hurt... It's okay Alex, you need to be with the one that makes you better and stronger. All in all a better person."
"Kristen I am so sorry for dragging you into my messes. You deserve a great girl."
"I found her, she just wasn't for me." I couldn't stand this, I brought her into my arms holding her tight. "Go be with her Alex, tell her how you feel."
"She's not here."
"You actually think Cassidy Scott would miss your birthday party?" I looked at her with a confused look. "Go look for her, she just got here." As soon as those words escaped her lips Cassidy's scent hit me. I was in love all over again.
"Are we okay? I know it may sound selfish but I really don't want to lose our friendship." She smiled weakly.
"We are okay." I kissed her cheek. Maybe for the last time. "Thank you Kris, for everything you have done for me."
"Don't mention it sweetheart." I smiled at her before nodding and walking towards the door.
"You coming?"
"Go ahead, I need a moment." Understanding her desire to be alone, I just left. It will take some time before Kris and I are really okay, but I am willing to wait. Rapidly my feet moved, following the rich smell of vanilla. When my eyes finally landed upon her my heart beat increased. Almost beating out of my chest. There she was standing in all her glory. Talking with Mark. Her delicate hands holding a small gift. She's perfect.
"Cassidy Scott." I said her name softly behind her making her slightly jump, my hands quickly calming her by resting on her hips. She turned around with a smile on her face. Not wasting time I just hugged her. Hiding my face in the crook of her neck.
"I thought you weren't going to come."
"Ale, I know we've been through a rough path right now, but I wouldn't miss your birthday party." Desperately I wanted to say how much I love her. Though first we need to talk about us, our relationship. I want to make everything clear.
"Here, it's nothing big but I thought you may like it." Opening the small box I almost jumped in excitement.
"Are you kidding me! I love it."
"I always knew you were a nerd for Harry Potter, I asked for it to be custom made, look behind it." I turned the silver necklace around to see the words carved into it.
You shall forever be in my heart, Love you now, Love you always. Cassie.
"This is the best gift I've received tonight, will you?" I said giving it to her so she could put it on me. When she did I hold the medallion between my fingers.
"I need to talk to you, come." This time I headed outside. Everything was very dark, yet I could see perfectly. The brightness of the moon helps a lot as well. I kept on walking deeper into the woods holding her soft delicate hand. Far enough from the noise, I came to a stop. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself for everything I was about to say. Though my words come out naturally when it comes to express my feelings for Cass, I always get nervous around her.
"I miss you Cassidy. I've been a fool and I am sorry for hurting you. It was never my intention. These weeks have been torture without you. I feel lost, nothing else really matters because I don't have you. Yeah there was my feelings for Kristen but that's all figured out I swear. Cassidy Scott I could never be with someone that isn't you. Since the very start all it took was for me to see you walk through the school doors, to realize just how much I really wanted you. That want turned into love. The thought of you being with someone else gets me sick and afraid. Quite frankly you are my anchor. You keep me steady in all this madness. Cassie I need you, Like I need air. Life without you has no purpose." By the end of it my eyes were filled with tears, my chest hurt, my hands kept on shaking. She was crying as well. I wiped away her tears. In this moment I truly realized that this girl in front of me will be my future wife.
"I love you so much Alexandra." I brought her closer to me to calm her crying. I felt in peace with the world. With myself. It was the perfect moment until the strong scent hit me. My heart almost stopped.
"How sweet of you Alexandra Halsey. You truly are wife material. What a charmer you are."
I grabbed a hold of Cassidy. This can't be happening. We looked around only to see hundreds of eyes staring at us from the shadows within.
"Now we know how fast you can run, but tell me Alexandra. Can Miss Scott run just as fast?"
I howled with all my strength. Everything after that was a blur.
A.N>> It's been so long since my last update. I sincerely apologize. I know how much frustration it causes to wait for a book to update. Made this chapter longer than usual for you guys. Hopefully next chapter won't take as long. Thank you all for being so patient and for all your kind love. I hope you guys keep enjoying When the moon takes over. Sorry for any mistakes.
Happy early New year
Lots of love Karie.