Marissa convinced me to speak to someone about what's going on with me. She insist that since she wasn't getting through to me that maybe someone with more experience can.
I'm here sitting in this big room waiting for the therapist to come in. Such bland colors. The couch was uncomfortable and there was a cool most in the air.
"Hello!. You must be Cassie!" As this short older woman came up to me.
"Yes I'm Cassie. Nice to meet you" as I shook her hand.
"So tell me Cassie have you taken therapy before?".
"No, this is my first time" as I just watched her mannerisms.
"Okay... So what brings you here?".
"My friend thinks I have so much going on in my life that I need to talk to someone before I do something stupid. But I mean hey I'm pregnant already so there goes the stupid decision".
"How far along are you?".
"12 weeks... And counting" as I looked away.
"Congratulations!. You should be happy about it" as she smiled.
"I would but I have two brothers who might be the father. And they're crazy".
"Tell me more about them" as she grabbed her notepad.
"Well there's James... He's my boss and he's married but I've agreed to sleep with him off and on. He doesn't mention anything about his wife. He has intense mood swings which can be dangerous. Then you have Ryan... He can be a sweetheart and charm the panties off of you. But his true colors came out once I got pregnant. And it's just craziness" as I sighed.
"That does sound like a lot to deal with. But why would someone like yourself sit there and deal with it?".
"I don't know. Maybe I figure something might change for the good".
"Cassie you do know majority of men who cheat on their wives never usually leave their family for the mistress. Pregnant or not. James will not drop his wife for you".
"I've been told. And I don't think I was expecting him to. But compared to Ryan he seems more logical to be a parent".
"This Ryan individual... How did you meet?".
"I was invited to James Christmas party and we happen to bump into each other. Which he spilled his drink all over me" as I rolled my eyes. "Then it seemed he just was everywhere I was. And I don't know it was by chance or he planned it".
"Cassie let's trace back to your childhood... Did you have both parents in the home?".
"No, just my mom".
"Where's your father?" As she looked up at me.
"He decided we weren't good enough for him. So he just got up one day and left".
"Good enough?" As she raised her brow.
"Meaning he left my mother for another women who had three kids. So obviously my mother and I wasn't good enough for him".
"So do you feel because of that, that you feel the need to please men?".
"What?!".
"Because of your father choosing someone else over you. Do you feel that you like to please men and I'm not talking sexually but in general just so they won't leave you".
"Never realized that. But I guess..." As I shrugged my shoulders.
"And now because you have this need to please men, you have these two men who are manipulating you into doing what they want".
"They're not manipulating me!".
"Cassie?.. You are pregnant and you have no idea who the father is. Never mind the fathers are brothers. They know how weak you are and they feed up on it".
When she said that, that hit a nerve. I couldn't help but start sobbing. I didn't want to come off as a weak person. I tried so hard to hide that part of me. But of course James and Ryan saw it as a radar.
"Cassie?.. Do you need some tissue?" As she grabbed he box and handed to me.
"Sorry... It's just if I've been smarter I wouldn't be sitting here pregnant and stressed out".
"I always tell people... Parents don't realize the long term effects of choices they make".
"I guess my dad was only thinking of himself and not about me when he walked out" as I wiped my tears.
"Listen, I think it'll be good if you stay away from James and Ryan for a while. So you can grow as a person and choose situations wisely. And for this baby's sake you need to be stress free".
"You know after my father left, my mom fell into a deep depression. I witnessed my mom one night trying to debate on killing herself. She had the knife in her hand and she was talking to herself. That was one of the scariest moments in my life. I think that's why I was so sheltered. I was scared to leave her alone so I didn't have friends for a long time".
"Cassie you're an adult now. You don't have to repeat history but try to change it for the better".
"I'll try!. Thank you so much!. I haven't told anyone the things I told you" as I got up.
"Well I'm happy i could help you. And Cassie please take what I said to heart" as she smiled at me.
I walked out of that room a different person. Now it was time to do me!.
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Okay so this is an insight into why Cassie is so naive and don't have common sense.