IT'S OFFICIALLY BEGUN I'M SO EXCITED FOR WHAT'S TO COME FOR RESTLESS. Do not expect the same for this story as you did for Reckless 😉❤️
To start off this story, please comment as you go just so I can see what ya'll are thinking!
I have much love for you all & I hope you enjoy this chapter. 😻
// This chapter is kind of "business in the front, party in the back", meaning it's business-y in the beginning and cute af towards the end 🤓💖
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Sunset Marquis, West Hollywood, CA
June 2, 2015 - 8:40 am
Jess
"Never in my life have I ever met someone who squirms around as much as you do when I do their makeup," Meredith muttered. I'd say I felt bad for her, but she's the one who agreed to another year of being my stylist.
"When your done, can I show you this video?" I asked, acting like I hadn't even heard her last comment.
"Déjà vu from the AMAs last year," she pointed out, laughing at the memory.
I remembered it as well. That dog video still has me rolling. But this one had to be even funnier
Caroline ran a straightener through my hair while Mere continued to put concealer on my face. She wasn't using as much makeup on me because there's going to be a shitload of press here today. Mere wanted to make sure I looked "natural and fresh".
"What time do you have to be out of here by?" Caroline asked.
I lifted my gaze to the time on my phone. It was 8:47 and I had to be out of my dressing room by at least 9:30 to talk to Jane before the photo op at 9:45. The press conference would start at 10.
"9:30," I said.
"That's enough time," she mumbled to herself. She walked around my head to straighten more of my hair.
"I'm done," Meredith announced, throwing up her hands like she had been timed to see how fast she could do my makeup.
"Thank you, Mere," I echoed, sending her a cheesy smile.
"Where's your other half?" She asked. She picked her phone up from the vanity.
I subtly smiled at the mention of Harry. He'd been reinstated as my photographer for the rest of this tour and for next tour (not choreographer because he felt like he wasn't helping anyone due to the fact that Lenny created all he choreo).
"He's talking with some old friends in the press room," I replied.
"Ahh."
"Is he happy to be back?" Caroline questioned, brushing out my hair with her fingers and styling it around.
"He says he is. There's still that nagging feeling that he could've been really big in a directing role," I admitted.
"Either way, he still has that love-struck look on his face that he's had for the past two years."
I raised an eyebrow. "He has not had a 'love-struck' look on his face for two years."
"You don't have room to speak because you had it too, babe," Meredith chimed.
That was true. I knew that I'd had feelings for Harry for a long time now. I wouldn't say that I had a "look", but...
Two knocks came at the door and Meredith went over to open it. Jane walked in looking pleasantly happy. It was probably because we seemed to pull a Hail Mary with this new management team. We should also thank the wonderful Ed Sheeran for the connections.
"Good morning. Her outfit's in here, right?" Jane asked.
Meredith nodded and pointed to the couch. "Over there."
I was wearing a slightly oversized white turtleneck sweater, black leather skinny jeans, and nude heels that matched my nail polish.
"Done," Caroline said, talking about my hair.
"Okay, go ahead and change. I'll talk to you while you are so you have some down time," Jane assured.
I stood up, slightly disappointed that I had to change out of my sweats and t-shirt. I took the clothes and disappeared behind the changing screen. I got dressed as she spoke.
"This whole press conference is for you to be yourself. But I'm sure you were going to do just that anyways," she assumed.
That is correct.
"There's just a few sticky situations you should try to curve around. One, being questions about management. You know how to respond to those..."
"Yup," I affirmed, tugging off my clothing.
"Another, would be questions about Nick. Go with the regular: we're friends, he's a great guy, I wish the best for him..."
I slipped on the leather pants, which actually weren't even jeans. They had a meshy elastic at the waist that made the pants comfortable. The elastic would be hidden by the sweater of course.
Jane continued. "And lastly, you will most certainly get questioned about Harry. Now, I've never told you this before ever, but I'm going to let you answer that on your own. I trust you. Okay?"
I pulled the comfy sweater over my head and walked out barefoot from behind the screen. "Wow, you're giving me the reigns, huh?"
Jane narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't make me change my mind. By the way, that looks really cute. The nude color goes well with the white and black."
I smiled and spun around to face Caroline. "Thanks to Caroline, because she's a genius."
Care did a small curtsy which made us all laugh. I walked over and sat down on the couch. I started scrolling through Twitter. Everyone was talking about the conference today and wondering what I was going to talk about.
"Morning, ladies." My favorite person walked into the room with a dimpled smile. He wore a black and deep purple, rose patterned button up and black skinnies with his brown boots.
"Hey!" Meredith greeted, waving at him from across the room. He waved back then returned the hug Caroline gave him. Jane sent a smile his way.
I just sat there, admiring how sociable and easy-going he was. He was so easy to approach and wasn't at all a hedonist. The fact that he loved me didn't seem very plausible, in my opinion.
He turned his attention to me and I shook my head to rid away my daydreaming. A small smirk formed to his lips.
"Up," he demanded lightly. I just then noticed the camera he had in his hand. The strap wrapped several times around his forearm. My guess was that he had to take a picture of me.
I stood from the couch, flattening out the creases on my pants before I picked up my heels from the ground. Harry offered me his arm while I struggled to put the stilettos on my feet.
Before I moved away, he pulled me in by my arm and placed a kiss on my forehead, sending an elated feeling throughout my body.
"You're beautiful."
"Back at you," I hummed.
He gave me a suggestive smile and stepped back so that he could photograph my outfit - and me.
I slipped my hands into the pant pockets and spread my feet out about shoulder length apart. I leaned some of my weight onto my right leg so that my left knee bent a little. I smiled for one photo, then mugged the second.
Harry brought his camera down to look at the shots he took.
"Christ, Jessy," he breathed.
I bit down on my lower lip, trying to stop a grin from spilling onto my face.
My boyfriend was such a charmer.
"It's almost 9:30. Leave here then and meet me outside the press room, alright? After pictures, we'll take you into the conference room," Jane informed, checking her watch.
I nodded and she left the room, closing the door behind her.
I took off my heels and sat back down on the couch. Harry sat down next to me, his thigh pressed against mine. He was playing around with both his camera and phone, trying to send the photos he'd taken of me to his iPhone.
"I thought you needed a computer for that," I wondered aloud as I watched him.
He twisted his head in my direction. He wore an amused smile which told me I was going to get a smartass answer.
"Technology," he said eloquently, slapping his hand down on my knee and squeezing my kneecap. I shouted when he had hit that same pressure point he always did, just to annoy me.
He chuckled, then ducked away when I went to hit him in the shoulder. "Stop doing that!"
"Sorry! Sorry, sorry."
I wrapped my arms around his bicep and leaned into his side. I rested my chin on his shoulder, warmth radiating off his body. I watched as he started to post the picture he took off me on his Instagram.
I quietly laughed to myself when he put a black and white filter on the photo. He adjusted the darkness, then went to create a caption.
"Mm...what should that caption be?" he pondered.
"You're asking me?"
He chuckled under his breath like there was some inside joke I wasn't aware of.
His thumbs typed across his keyboard and the caption was created:
Ready to talk.
He posted it and within seconds, the post had hundreds of likes.
"It's all about the caption," he confirmed.
•••
I sat in front of about forty or fifty people, not including photographers off to the side and those crouching just in front of the podium I sat at.
Fortunately, I was not the only person seated at this table. My new publicist, Kendra Eaves, a representative from Rocket Management, Harrison Ode, and my very own manager, Jane, sat with me. Though they were off more to the further sides of the table while I was right smack in the middle.
"Jess is now open for question," the "host" for this event commenced.
Every hand in the room raised in unison. After a couple of seconds, it hit me that maybe I was the one who was supposed to be picking people. I looked over at Jane again who just nodded her head towards my audience.
"Oh," I blurted into the mic on accident, which caused the room to fill with polite laughter.
I pointed to a woman I recognized from People Magazine.
She stood up, giving a gracious nod. "Why are you releasing your album, 'FREE', so soon after your second studio album, '11:59'?"
I took in a deep breath, knowing that I'd need it for this answer.
"This album is much more sentimental and it's just one of those records that you really just want people to hear and relate to. I've also written the majority of every track, which I couldn't say about my other two albums. And I can't say that without mentioning Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Carson Riddles, Harry Styles, and my producers because without them, this album just wouldn't be happening. Um, all in all, 'FREE', is my revival album of sorts, so I really just want it out for the world to hear."
Everyone stood up again, raising their hands. I point to someone random.
"Why'd you pick the name 'FREE'?"
"It sort of encompasses the contrast of everything that I've felt six or seven months ago to how I feel now. I am happy and extremely grateful for where I am now in my life. I felt that 'free' really summed it all up."
I chose another raised hand.
"You released the track list for the album yesterday at your show in Tennessee. Which song would you say you're most excited to perform, and which do you think your fans are going to enjoy the most?"
"The one I'm most excited to perform would be...'We Can't Move To This'...because it's really a song you can let lose to. It's all about self empowerment and it's definitely a pump up song, so I'm beyond excited perform it in front of fans," I explained, then realized that the next question the interviewer had asked completely slipped my mind.
"I'm sorry, what was the other question?"
"What song are your fans going to enjoy the most?" he repeated.
"My fans, I think, will enjoy 'Over' a lot. It's a very vocally driven song. It's also a break-up song," I gave a breathy laugh because I felt the title itself really gave the meaning away. "I'm kind of nervous to perform it just because it is very draining on my voice. There are massive notes that I've never done before in any song, so I think that's a key factor as to why my fans will love it."
A little fun fact: when I was recording 'Over', it took me about twelve tries for each separate note before I was satisfied with the outcome of everything.
Harrison called on another interviewer who, I had to say, looked a little nervous.
"You've obviously been through more in your 19 years of life than most have in an entire lifetime. If you don't mind me asking, how would you compare yourself to other artists in that sense? Do you use what you've lost as a strength?"
I didn't expect the bluntness of this question. Normally interviewers tip toe or completely avoid the daunting subject of my parents' deaths.
"Jess will not be answering that ques -" my publicist Kendra started, but I cut her off.
"No, that's okay. I'll answer it...the best I can," I assured.
"Um, I do, in some ways, take what I've been through and turn it into a strength. It gives me the ability to get closer to my fans in ways other artists can't. I miss my mom and dad, and there will always be a gaping hole in my chest, but I depend immensely on my friends and my fans. In all honesty, without them, I would not be sitting here right now."
The interviewer bowed her head solemnly and with respect. I sent him a small smile. The Rocket Management rep, Harrison Ode, took over the role of choosing the raised hands.
"You've been faced with a lot of people who have body shamed you. How do you deal with it all and what's your advice to others to face the same hate?"
"Honestly, I don't pay attention to it. I'm still learning to be self confident and to be comfortable in my own skin. My body is mine, just as your body is yours. People who body shame have insecurities and are just hiding behind a computer screen or behind a newspaper article. Do not base your happiness off of what others say of you."
The conference went on. Questions were surrounding my album and possible opportunities I had in my career.
Once there was about ten minutes that remained, the host guy announced that it was now time for "free reign" questions. That basically meant that the interviewers could ask all the questions they weren't allowed to ask before.
"Nick Jonas recently said in an interview that he would love to come to one of your concerts. What do you say about that?"
I shrugged like it was no biggie because it really wasn't. "He's a fan of me. I'm a fan of him. He's not banned from coming to my shows or anything," I joked. "I have mad respect for Nick, and wish nothing but the best for him. We're good friends and it'd be great to see him at a show."
As Harrison picked another interviewer, I drummed my fingers on the table. My mind drifted off to Harry and the dinner he said he'd planned for us tonight at my apartment for our belated six month anniversary.
I subconsciously began smiling until I heard one of the interviewers start to talk.
"Just a couple weeks ago, you confirmed your relationship with Harry Styles as well as telling us that you've been dating for six months now. Why would you keep a secret like that?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Woah...you're making it seem like that isn't my private business. I made a decision to not make my relationship public and that's not a crime."
"Next question," Harrison broadcasted swiftly, trying to cover up my sass.
All hands shot up, trying to get their chance to ask me a question that would surely receive a reaction from me.
"Are you planning on making a music video for either of your two current singles, 'Good For You' or 'Here'?"
"Yes, I am. For both."
"What do you plan on doing during your off time starting in September?"
"I want to do more music videos. I'll probably write a lot, go to the studio, chill around, visit friends...I'm not that sure yet but other than that, I'll probably do some festivals here and there. I should probably decorate my new apartment in LA. It's pretty desolate at the moment."
"Last question," Harrison announced.
Finally.
"What can we expect from this album? Anything new or different?" A woman asked.
"I wouldn't say it's drastically different, but it's more mature when it comes to the sound. It's a little new, yeah, but it's still me. It's a lot more honest as well. In a few songs, um, I've used my voice in ways I haven't before, so...yeah, words can't convey how excited I am."
Jane stood up immediately after I'd finished speaking. She seemed just as anxious to get out of here as I was. "Thank you all for coming. There will be no more photos."
•••
Regal Theaters, Glendale, CA
2:45 pm
Harry and I held hands as we walked into the movie theaters. We'd decided on a Romantic Comedy because it was both our favorites.
I wore a black baseball cap with a Nike symbol on it, leggings, and a grey Nike sweatshirt. Nobody had recognized me yet, so this date was going on pretty wonderfully thus far.
I proposed the idea that we should go see a movie before our at-home dinner date tonight.
Normally, in those circumstances, I would have to tell Jane about these plans, and base my decision on whether to go or not off of her choice. But because Harry and I were already public, and Robbie and Sal agreed to tag along as a bodyguard, there was no need to inform Jane.
"I'm on a diet, Jessy. I should not be here," Harry mused.
"Why the fuck are you on a diet?" I blurted.
"Why the fuck are you swearing so much?"
I easily became distracted. My previous questioning face turned to an amused one. "I love the way you say 'fuck'."
I did a quick imitation of the way he said the curse word.
Right away, a pink tint crawled onto his cheeks.
"Stop, you're making me blush," he whimpered, tucking his cheek toward his shoulder.
I smiled and leaned forward, kissing his shoulder since that was all I could reach without having to go on my tip toes.
"Share a popcorn with me?" I asked.
I hooked my free arm around his bicep, while my other hand was still intertwined with his.
"Mmm...no butter?" He suggested.
Ha! Who does he think he's talking to?
"I don't negotiate with dieters," I teased.
He rolled his eyes, but squeezed my hand at the same time.
"Fine, I'll share popcorn with you," he caved, letting out an overly dramatic sigh. "But I don't want to spoil my appetite for the five star meal I'm preparing for us tonight."
I smiled and raised myself up to press my lips to his in an innocent kiss. "That's four hours away, babe. It'll be fine."
He smirked down at me, leaning down to connect our lips again.
Once we finally ordered our food, we ended up getting two waters, a medium popcorn (per Harry), and some peanut M&Ms for me. Harry paid for the food and then we carried on towards the theater.
Robbie and Sal, who'd been standing off to the side, told us that they'd be waiting in the arcade area for us to get out.
The amount of pure joy that was soaring through me as Harry and I walked together to the theater was unreal. It was so nice being able to go out in public like a normal couple.
I honestly didn't even remember the last time I went to see a movie.
I seemed to get a little too excited once we got inside.
I ran up the stair steps to get to the very top row of seats.
We had chosen a movie that'd been out for a few weeks, so only four or five people were seated and witnessed my childlike behavior.
I took a seat in the chair that faced the middle of the screen. Ever since I was a little girl, this had been my favorite spot to sit at. That way, I didn't have to worry about kicking the back of anyone's chair.
I watched Harry slowly climb up the stairs, watching me closely with humor filled eyes.
Once he was only a few strides from me, he whispered, "You're such a dork."
"You got that word from me," I pointed out.
He took the seat beside me and handed me my M&Ms and water. I placed the popcorn in my lap while I organized my bag and food. Going to the movies was hard work.
Harry lifted up the cup holder/arm rest so that there was nothing between us.
I took that as a perfect opportunity to put the popcorn there, so that it was easy to share.
Without a word, he picked up the bag and placed it back in my lap. I realized that he purposefully wanted there to be nothing between us.
When I looked over to him, his lips were perfectly pouty, and I had the urge to lean over and kiss them.
I kept myself busy as the ads rolled onto the screen by going on Twitter. After about five minutes, a large hand covered the screen of my phone as an annoying tactic to get me to put it away because the screen had started to play the opening credits.
•••
"But did they end up together in the end?" I asked as we leave the theater.
"Maybe if you wouldn't have fallen asleep, you'd know," Harry assumed.
I knew it wasn't that big of a deal, but I couldn't tell if Harry was bothered by the fact that I'd fallen asleep halfway through.
Okay, fine. I'll take the L for that one.
"I didn't mean to," I mumbled.
A warmth flooded through me when he grabbed onto my hand and entangled our fingers.
"I know, love. You were pretty cute," he whispered into my ear.
I smiled and leaned my head into his shoulder.
When we came to the bathrooms, Harry waited outside for me while I went into the women's.
There were a lot of people inside, washing their hands or heading into a stall. I kept my head down even though the hat was coverage enough.
I did my business, then went out to wash my hands.
When I looked up into the mirror as I ran my hands under the cold water, I met the gaze of a younger woman. She politely smiled so, of course, I smiled back.
I could just hear an audible gasp. "You're Jessica Steele?" She whispered.
She spoke loud enough because the four other women around moved their attention to me.
I tilted my head upward as a nod and smiled again before I moved over to dry my hands with paper towels.
I was glad that nobody approached me after when I met up with Harry just outside the bathroom door.
"Everything good?" Harry asked.
"Yup," I chimed.
We met up with Robbie and Sal at the arcade. At that point, a few fans intersected with me and I took selfies with them.
The happiness that was this semi-date faded quite rapidly as soon as the four of us left the building. Outside, we sauntered into a gathered crowd of unfiltered and opinionated paparazzi.
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(tbh I had no idea how to end this chapter so I apologize for its suddenness) Restless has finally started!! I have tons planned for this book, so bare with me - as usual (:
Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and if you've gotten to this point, you may as well vote!
I hope you are all having wonderful weeks and if you have any questions regarding anything, please ask.
The next chapter will be Harry & Jess' dinner + other stuff!
Twitter: @wtvrharold
Instagram: @harry.reckless
xx