I'm ending this book very soon. Pay close attention to this chapter, Olivia finally opens up about stuff that August and Kelsey don't even know about her.
Olivia POV
"We made a lot of progress last week Olivia. That's one of the best first sessions I've ever had with a client."
"Thank you" I smiled.
"This week, I want to focus on finding out how this anxiety formed, and what caused it."
I nodded, taking a deep breath.
"I'm going to be asking you a series of questions that deal with your past, and any possible traumatic events.You can take your time when answering these questions, some will dig deep. I understand if you choose not to answer some"
I nodded, playing with my hands.
"Okay, tell me about your childhood"
"Well, growing up in Manhattan is never easy. I was exposed to violence at a young age, but I always avoided it. My dad and grandmother took very good care of me and my sister."
She nodded, taking notes on her clipboard.
"Tell me more about your relationship with your father."
I cleared my throat and mentally prepared myself for this. Speaking about him out loud was always hard for me.
"Well, me and my father were always close. He would take me shopping, and on movie dates." I laughed a little, thinking of the good times. "He always believed in me, he told me I could be and do anything that I put my mind to."
Ms. Riley smiled.
"I noticed you are using past tense. Is it safe to say that your father no longer here?"
I nodded as a tear fell before I got a chance to hold it back.
"When and how, if you don't mind me asking."
I took a minute to breathe.
"About 2 years ago. I was 19 and he had horrible lung cancer that eventually took over his whole body. I hated seeing him like that, but somehow he always managed to make the best of the ending of his life."
"How did his death affect you?"
"The first week I didn't eat or speak. I felt numb all the time."
"Okay, I think we may have found something."
"Found what?" I asked.
"You were mourning and felt pain from your father, so you decided to shut down and not eat or speak, which gave you some sort of comfort."
I guess she was right, but this was very awkward to talk about.
"Tell me about your relationship with your sister."
I took a deep breath, not really wanting to get into it.
"Ummm, growing up and being the oldest could be very stressful with her. She never listened to me, and she always gave me a hard time."
"Was there a mother figure in your life?"
"Besides my grandmother, no. My dad never spoke of my mother, so I never really asked. My grandma does mention her at times, as if she wanted to be with us."
"Explain"
"Well, whenever we had birthday parties, or celebrated achievements, she'd say how proud our mother was of us, she said it as if she still speaks with my mother."
Ms.Riley nodded and continued writing.
"So, back to your sister. Where does your relationship stand with her today?"
"I haven't seen or spoken to her since my father's funeral."
"Why is that?"
"Well, I found out she was involved in drugs, I tried to help her and she wasn't having it. We got in a huge argument and I stormed out. I've tried calling every now and then, but no answer."
"Do you miss her?"
"So much. I always wonder how she's doing and if she's okay. But I hate speaking about her."
"Why?"
"Because I feel as if there is something I could've done to prevent her from going down that road, like I did something wrong and failed her as a sister."
"Olivia you can't blame yourself for the mistakes other people make. Some things are out of your control."
I didn't even notice it but tears continued falling from my face.
"It's okay to talk about it, I can tell you keep this part of your life hidden."
I nodded my head.
"Why?"
"I don't want people to see...this side of me. I don't like being vulnerable."
"Why not?"
"Because it allows people to hurt me. Every time I open up or give myself to someone, I end up hurt."
"I feel like we are shifting to a more romantic approach. Are you referring to a relationship you're in?"
"Was." I corrected her quietly.
"How recent was this relationship?"
"We broke up about 2 months ago."
I cringed at the sound of that. I knew that much time has passed, but saying out loud made me truly feel how lonely I am without him.
"And why did this relationship end?"
"He...ummm...he cheated on me."
She nodded, writing fast.
"But, it was because I was becoming too tied up in finishing law school. I didn't-"
"Olivia" she pointed. "Everything isn't your fault. Now, of course there is never just one reason or one person's fault in a breakup, it's several issues within the relationship. I don't tend to focus on relationships, but do you want to talk about it?"
I cleared my throat. "I guess."
"Alright, that's fine. So, tell me anything you wish to share."
I went on and on about August. How I first met him, and how he helped me get through my problems with Jeremy. I talked about some of the arguments we've had, and the people that we let come in between our relationship.
"Wow, you two seem very in love."
I nodded a little and laughed awkwardly.
"Well, Olivia, that's all the time we have today. I'll be going over my notes and I'll have some exercises for us to do together, starting next week."
I nodded and grabbed my things.
"Also, if you really want to work past this anxiety, it will be extremely helpful if your loved ones came in and sat through some sessions."
"Loved ones?"
"Yes, your grandmother, friends, even August."
A lump formed in my throat at the sight of seeing him. Ofcouse I see him all the time on Instagram and Twitter, but in person, seems a little overwhelming.
"Okay." I smiled and walked out.
After stopping for some Chipotle, I decided to swing by Kelsey's house. Her and Chris are getting real serious, and he's even thinking about moving in with her. I was so happy for my friend, she finally found someone that makes her happy. Like I did...
Like I thought I did.
I pulled up and parked, using my key.
"Hello?" I called.
"Hey bitchhhh" she sang, dancing her way over to me from the kitchen.
"Mmmm I smell brownies."
"Yeah, I'm making some for Chris and A-"
"Chris and who?"
"Ahhhh shit" she whispered.
"Kelsey, what?"
"Girl come upstairs and see these new shoes I bought!" She pulled my arm, trying to drag me upstairs.
"What? Kelsey no, I want some brownies."
"Come on Olivia, we can eat brownies later."
"Girl, please. Your shoes can wait."
I made my way into the kitchen, finding the tray of freshly baked brownies.
"Aye, they done?"
I stopped in my tracks.
His voice.
I haven't heard his voice in 2 months.
I turned around and there he stood.
His shoulders a little wider, and his arms a little bigger. He was wearing a black tshirt and basketball shorts that hung low to show off his polos.
I hate him for being so damn sexy.
I noticed that he was growing out his hair. I'm not sure what it was, but it looked amazing on him. He had it in two ponytails at the top of his head. I looked away quickly before I could notice anything else.
"OHHH shit" Kelsey mumbled as she walked in the room.
"Aye Aug bring yo' knuckle head ass back in here.."
I looked over and saw Chris with a play station controller in his head.
"Oh shit, wassup sis" he laughed, coming over to hug me. "Hey Chris, how you been?"
"Good, just chilling. How about you?"
"Good" I mumbled.
August POV
I knew she was lying. I knew she wasn't doing good at all. Because only I could make her happy, and vise versa.
I studied her outfit and her body. She wore jeans that hugged her curves nicely, and a tank top with a sweater. Her hair was down in its natural state. I then noticed she looked thinner.
She probably isn't eating as much, something she tends to do when she's upset or we break up.
"Baby, let's go" Kelsey whispered, grabbing Chris.
"But I wanna see this, they been staring each other down since she walked in here."
"Boy bring yo acorn head ass on" she pulled him out the kitchen and I heard them going up the stairs.
"Olivia..." I whispered.
"August" she said back.
I walked towards her and noticed her tense up. "Excuse me." I mumbled. She moved a little and I grabbed some brownies, placing them on a napkin. I went over to the cabinet and grabbed a clean glass, pouring myself some milk.
It was silent in the kitchen, I guess neither one of us wanted to be the first to say something.
"Olivia you look thin as hell, please tell me you still eating five times a day, ma"
She looked down, and I knew she wasn't.
"What about you? I know you aren't sleeping enough" she shot back.
She was right, I can't sleep at all when she's not next to me.
I took a sip of my milk and bit my cookie. I cleared my throat.
"You been good though?" I asked.
"Yes, better then ever." She fake smiled.
I sighed and grabbed my cookies, heading back to the living room.
"Chris! Nigga let's finish this game!" I yelled. He made his way back down and plopped on the couch with me. I heard the front door open and close, so I guess she left.
"How'd it go?"
"What?"
"I know seeing her fucked with your head, nigga. What are you feeling right now?"
"I'm chilling. I feel the same." I lied.
~
Olivia POV
I cleaned the whole house, studied a little for my exam, and re organized my closet, and all that's still on my mind is August.
I never realized how much I missed him until seeing him. I grabbed my keys and slipped on some uggs, walking out of my condo. I walked 5 doors down, and before I knew what I was doing, I was unlocking his door.
I walked in and it was silent, but I saw a light on in the room. I took in his condo, missing everything about it. It was a little messy, but it smelled exactly the same. I made my way to his bedroom, sticking my head in.
"Who are you?"
I turned around and saw a girl. She had tan skin and thick black long hair, wearing nothing at all.
Pain shot through my whole body.
"Oh, I'm the maid. I just came to pick up my check but I see August isn't here" I smiled.
I wasn't about to pop off, only because technically me and August weren't together. I guess he's moved on from me.
"Oh..well okay" she nodded. "I'll tell him you stopped bye."
I looked at my keys, pulling off the one to his condo and I placed it on the counter.
"Have a nice night" I smiled and she thanked me before I left out.
I ran back to my condo, locking the door.
"Breathe, Olivia." I took deep breathes until my breathing returned to normal. I looked through my purse and found my anti-anxiety medication, popping a pill in my mouth.
I needed this pain to leave, I needed it gone. I had to get out of this dark place.
********
Please don't hate me Lmaooo
But this book is coming to an endddddd
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