Song on the side: 'If today was your last day' by Nickelback :))
Day Three
"I'm sorry guys but I have to go," Sam's father said.
"Nooo!" both Cam and Samantha whined.
Playing with Mr. Bradford at Sunday evening was one of the best parts of the week for them.
"I'm sorry," Mr. Bradford apologized before leaving.
Cameron sighed.
"Come with me!" Samantha said entusiastically and dragged him to the garden.
That afternoon, she just couldn't wait for the time they spent playing to be over.
"What is it?" he asked.
She lay down and made him do the same.
"Look!" she exclaimed raising her shirt a bit, exposing the little sketch on her hip bone.
"Is it a tattoo?!" he asked.
"Not a real one," she sighed.
"It looks good, though," he said, glad to see his friend's eyes lighting up again.
"I think I'll get a real one when I grow up!"
"You should do that!"
"How 'bout you, Cam?"
"I will get a dragon one... I will be like a knight and I will be able to protect you from everyone and everything."
Everyone would be afraid of his dragon and he would do anything to protect his little daydreameress even if it made her hate him for acting like her father.
She was just too precious for him to lose her.
When I was a kid, I hated mountains. I felt like there was too much oxygen to handle. It was more like I was being burnt alive than breathing. I was just too tiny. When I grew up, I tried to go up there again but it didn't turn out the way I expected it to. I was not tiny anymore but I just couldn't stand all the cleanliness, the purity... I sort of felt like filth.
Later at that night, I went back to my house and sat into my closet. It was the first time I replayed my whole life in my mind and regretted every single moment of it. Every alcohol-filled glass, every pair of hungry arms that roamed my body, every word I had said and every time I did not rethink what I was about to do.
Needless to say that I forgot about everything three hours later, deleted my visit to the mountain from my head and never thought about it again -until today.
Last night, Cameron and I had another heart-opening conversation about how much of a liar whore I was and after that, we just stayed silent in the car. Every moment the need to get out grew bigger. The lack of oxygen was killing me. I couldn't even think straight- all I wanted was someone to take me to a mountain.
Before drifting to sleep, he mumbled a "We're going to the waterfalls in two days". I was not even aware of the fact that there were waterfalls around here but anyway.
I immersed another blueberry in the chocolate fondue and threw it straight in my mouth. I had woken up about an hour ago and decided to go buy some breakfast, only for myself. When I came back, Cameron was fixing something to the lights of the car so, I just got in the vehicle and started eating.
A loud bang caused me to look up and saw Cameron sitting on the hood. Seriously now, did he have to hop on it? However, as my eyes wandered across his back, I noticed something on his shoulder blade that almost made me choke myself with the blueberries.
I quickly got out of the car and joined him on the hood.
"You did it," I said.
"I did what?" he asked coldly.
"The tattoo."
"That... Yes, I did."
"Well, at least you stayed faithful to one of your dreams," I commented meanly.
"It would actually make me look hotter," he replied making me stop observing his dragon tattoo and look at him in shock.
"Fuck, Bradford, I am kidding," he growled giving me a flat look.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you were being serious."
We drowned into that stupid, uneasy silence for some minutes before I spoke up.
"Can we go out, tonight?" I asked.
"We are out," he pointed out.
"No, I mean, go to a bar or something."
"Why?" he asked.
"I just... I feel like having a drink."
"You feel like it or you need it?" he asked dryly.
"When I told you I was an alcohol-addict I was just kidding. I don't need alcohol. I do like it but that's all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Fine, then. But it will be just a drink. No bullshit after that."
"Okay," I said reluctuntly and hopped off the hood.
I was about to walk away when he called my name.
"What?" I asked.
"Did you do it? I mean, the tattoo you used to talk about..." he trailed off.
"No," I lied.
He nodded... Sadly?
Okay...
I kept shaking my head as I walked away, trying to get that look in his eyes out of my head. However, I couldn't help remembering his face having the same look every Saturday, when he had to leave my house after lunch. I didn't really understand it back then but when he gave me that lecture about strength when I found out my mom was at the hospital, he explained everything and I realized that after seeing his mom kissing the gardener, his house didn't feel like home anymore and Mrs. Shaw, didn't feel like a right mom. I guess, we were the closest thing to a real family he had.
Oh, the irony...
I kept bringing those moments of us fighting with our forks until I realized I was teasing my mushroom necklace. I only did that when I was nervous, angry or lost in deep thoughts. And I definitely didn't need these thoughts right now cause getting close to Cameron again, felt like I had to relive everything. Our moments, our laughs, our dreams along with my mother's death and my father's hatred.
Ugh, why did reality have to be so weird and complicated?
I groaned loudly and grabbed my i-pod. I needed to get lost in one of Leo Tolstoy's books before I went nuts.
I only stopped reading when I realized that the screen was a bit brighter than it used to be- it was getting dark.
I stood up and walked back to the car. I had a quick shower and then slipped into a black dress --the only one that didn't look too beach-like-- and waited for Cameron to come.
"No bullshit, okay?" he asked from behind me causing a shriek to escape my lips.
"Yes, Cam, jesus!" I groaned and threw my hands up in annoyance.
We both got into the car. Before I could actually wonder about whether I was going to sit next to him one day or not, we had arrived. We both got out and walked in the small bar in front of us.
Well, the place was too over-crowded for its size so we ended up breathing with difficulty.
After he ordered Vodka for both of us, he started teasing his cellphone. I, on the other hand, just wanted to slap him. I did not want Vodka. I might hate Tequila but it 'hit' you quite more easily.
When the waiter came back, Cam took a small sip of his drink whereas I downed it.
"No more," he mouthed me warningly and I shrugged.
"Want me to bring you something else?" the waiter asked, giving me a wink.
I could just take advantage of this wink.
I watched Cameron slowly sipping his drink. Seriously, was he doing it on purpose?
You're not an addict, Sam, get over it.
Did I really feel the need to grab his glass, though?
"Excuse me," I told him and made my way to the bathroom, hopping to find the winky waiter on my way there.
When I spotted him next to the bar, I made sure Cameron couldn't see me, and approached him.
"Hi," I said smiling.
"Hey, there, goergous," he replied.
"Can you get me something to drink? My cousin there is too overprotective sometimes," I said pointing at Cam.
"Sure, it's my treat of course. What would you like me to get you?" he asked giving me a seductive look.
"A bottle of Vodka," I replied casually causing him to widen his eyes.
"Are you sure? I mean, can you handle it?"
I smirked. "Of course. But I wouldn't mind sharing; I'm game if you are."
His smirk grew wider.
"Why don't we meet behind the bar? I can't get caught drinking during my shift," he told me.
"Sure," I replied and made my way to the back door.
I leaned against the wall and waited for him. He met me in under five minutes.
"The first one's yours," he said opening the bottle of Vodka he was holding.
I smiled.
I brought the bottle to my lips and started taking big gulps.
"You're a wild one," he commented when I stopped.
I ignored my wattery eyes and smirked at him.
He took a small gulp before I took it back. I started drinking again. When I stopped, I realized I had drunk too much. Cameron would understand I was half-drunk.
"Hey, cutie?" he asked.
"Mhmm?" I asked blinking the tears Vodka had brought, out of my eyes.
"You really like drinking, don't you?"
"Yeah."
Understatement.
"I have something better. It can transfer you out of reality way more quickly," he suggested.
I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yes."
Like I've said before, I have tried many things. I always had a limit, though. Nothing more than pills.
When I saw the small, white dust filled, bag coming out of his pocket I frowned. I wasn't sure I wanted this. But then again, it would just be another experience, right? Another thing I could try and decide whether I liked it or not. It was not going to make me a junkie.
"Good," I commented smirking.
"I know... Don't overdo it, though, it's stronger than Vodka."
"I know exactly what it is and how strong it is," I informed him.
"Let's do it, then."
I didn't know if his words contained some hidden innuendo but I seriously didn't care. I didn't even want him.
He opened the bag.
"Samantha!" I heard my name being called- or better, yelled.
I cursed under my breath.
"What, Cameron?!" I growled.
He growled back before grabbing my arm and dragging me to a bench.
"Were you seriously going to do this?" he shouted.
"None of your fucking business!" I growled collapsing on it.
"When will you stop acting like that, Bradford?!"
"I don't need your permission to try things I like."
"Why would you even try that?"
"Because I felt like it!"
"You're seriously stupid!" he said laughing.
"I am seriously living my life, Shaw! Doing whatever you like is freedom."
"Until you end up addicted!"
"I can control it!"
"No, you can't! Drug abuse, alcohol... This is not freedom! What we're doing right now is freedom! Being alone, away from everyone and everything, next to the sea... Dreaming!"
"That's crap! Get out of your little utopia, Cam, and face fucking life that's nothing more than a real bitch!"
"Do you even know how much you've missed because of all this shit?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you even remember Clyde's party?"
My mind travelled back to the end of the final exams of the last year. Clyde Webb had practically invited every junior but it still took me more than five minutes to recover from the shock when he asked me to go to his party. I mean, Clyde threw the most epic parties every time his parents were out of the town for work. Needless to say that whenever the Webbs left their house, the whole school went wild.
"Yes," I replied.
"What exactly do you remember, Samantha?"
"Loud music, sex-crazed teenagers... Just a normal party... I got so drunk."
To be absolutely honest, apart from arriving at Clyde's house and drinking my first two mojitos, I could recall nothing else.
Okay, that was a lie.
I could also remember that I was sort of high but I had no recollection of what I had taken or who gave me whatever I took.
"Do you have the slightest idea of what happened after you passed out?" he asked.
I passed out?
"People kept drinking, dancing, making out and smoking weed?" I replied uncertainly.
He scoffed. "I knew it. So... Did you notice anything different about Lyn, after the party?"
I frowned. "Kinda... I mean, she started zoning out a lot. And I somehow became the only person she would have any kind of physical contact with," I trailed off.
"And you didn't bother asking why?"
"Lyn became more me every day. And given that I don't like being touched... Or maybe it was something that happened with her boyfriend. Maybe a wrong move or a bad first time? If she wanted to talk to me about it she would have done it so I didn't want to push her or something."
"Lyn almost got raped."
"What?" I shrieked.
"Want me to repeat it?" he growled.
"H-How? I mean... Who? What? W-Why don't I know?"
My thoughts were now a huge knot. A huge knot running faster than freaking light.
"She didn't want you to know. That's why she kept pretending she dated Caleb. She understood that you couldn't deal with such stuff."
"What is this supposed to fucking mean?!" I yelled.
"You cannot comfort people, Samantha. Such things are really awkward for you and that's why she never told you anything."
Tears streamed out of my eyes. All the information along with the amount of Vodka I had consumed made me feel like shit. Like I was the worst, the most useless and the most uncaring friend in the world.
Friend?
I remembered that day; Lyn and I were out, talking with some guy we had just met. At some point he asked 'So you guys are best friends?'. Lyn replied that we were something more than that whereas I knotted my fingers -creating something I later realized looked like a pinky promise- in an attempt to explain our bond. Later that night she had told me that she liked how we couldn't find a word to describe our relationship cause it meant that it was really special. I laughed at the way she thought telling myself I would never be able to understand what was going on in her head or how she perceived situations and feelings.
"A-And how do you know?" I asked snapping back to reality.
"Kyle, the guy who saved her-"
"Your mate Kyle?! Kyle Shithead Nickson?"
"Yes, him! And it looks like you're not any better so shut up and listen to me!"
I hated to admit it, and it was probably because of my beloved Vodka, but I felt kind of intimidated by his tone so I shut my mouth.
"Everyone in the football team knows. Kyle told us because he thought we had to be aware of the true colors of our teammate. That's why Jeremiah Von Monroe was kicked out of the team."
"Jeremiah?!"
"Yes."
I remained silent for more than ten minutes. I felt more and more light-headed as the time passed, until it was really hard to compose myself and find my train of thought.
"Give me your cellphone, I want to call her," I muttered.
"First of all, there's no battery left but apart from that, I think you should wait until we get back and talk to her face to face."
I nodded.
"Cameron..." I whispered half an hour later.
He turned to look at me.
"I may not be able to recall half of the last spring or summer, and there's probably more alcohol in me than blood but I really care about my little best friend," I muttered.
If it wasn't for the Vodka, I wouldn't open up to him but right now, I just couldn't stop the words from coming out.
"I know," he said smiling.
I tried to stand up and head to the car but my knees gave up on me and I crashed on the ground.
"Let me carry you," he said.
"Fine but I will still hate you in the morning," I informed.
"I know," he said picking me up.
I just let him carry my full of self-hatred body, knowing I would regret it in the morning.
Hell, when did I sign a contact which turned my life into an episode of freaking 'Skins'?