*****
"Hannah, he'll be here in an hour."
"Who?" I mumbled into my pillow, I hadn't slept much, whenever I closed my eyes I was afraid I'd wake up to my mom, dad or Gerald yelling at me and hitting me.
It was stupid, but those dreams felt so real...
"Damien." She said teasingly. I looked at her.
After we had eaten, Damien and I had watched a series of Men at Work before he fell asleep on the couch, but despite his exhaustion, Lyle threw him out.
"I'm tired," I mumbled.
"Yeah? Well, I think some fun would be good for you, Hannah." I opened my eyes to see Lyle looking at me concerned.
"You're willingly letting me go with him?" I asked in surprise.
"If that's what it takes." He replied.
I sat up in bed and looked at him.
"If that's what it takes for what?" I asked.
"For you to live a little." He said walking out of my room, "Get dressed!" He called back.
I furrowed my brows. Was I not alive? Natalie laughed at my confused face.
"Get ready, Hannah." She said.
-----
A few minutes later I was standing staring at my reflection.
I frowned at my body before I pulled my jean on to hide the scars on my legs, it was ripped at the knees, luckily I had none there. I pulled on a long-sleeved striped t-shirt and hoped Lyle, Damien and Natalie would keep quiet about how warm it was outside.
I then pulled Damien's jacket on because, for some reason, I felt less pathetic in it and quickly slipped my sock-covered feet into some boots before looking back at the mirror. I frowned at the still visible cut on my cheek that was undoubtedly going to scar and brushed some of my hair into my face with my fingertips to hide it before I sighed.
Why the heck would Damien want to hang out with me?
Was he messing with me?
I bit my lip at the girl staring back at me before I let my eyes fall to the carpet.
Don't, Hannah. Don't let him in. Don't like him. He's messing with you. There's no reason a guy like that - or any guy for that fact - would like you.
I couldn't get hurt anymore... I felt so drained and exhausted.
I swallowed looking up again.
He was really nice...
Yeah, you think that. Until he hurts you. Until he voices his true opinion about you... or shows you...
I felt so torn. I liked him, I knew that. He seemed nice... but I wasn't going to risk it.
What if he doesn't want to hurt me?
I snorted at the voice in my head and blinked back the tears in my eyes as I lifted my hands to my ears for a second. There were too many opposing voices, it made my mind feel clouded.
'No one wants you.'
That one was always the loudest voice though. I swallowed the knot in my throat painfully as my mom's voice played in my head.
Yeah... I shouldn't get my hopes up.
-----
"You've been really quiet..." Damien looked at me from the driver's seat of the car we were in. I had learnt that it was his Dad's.
I gave him a small smile as I nervously twisted the bracelet around my wrist before I looked back down. My emotions were a mix of complete fear at being right beside him and crazy butterflies fluttering in my stomach, also caused being right beside him.
I was confused when he stopped the car beside an empty plot of land and looked at him attempting to question our sudden stop but he just got out of the car calling a 'stay inside, Hannah' back at me as he did.
I looked around uncertainly. The place was empty, there was nothing but grass stretching out on either side of the road.
This is the part where he kills me, isn't it? I gave a nervous laugh at my stupidity. No. Come on, Hannah. Lyle and Natalie always knew I was with him.
I looked at him as he swung his door open and got back into the car, raising my eyebrows at the marker he was holding.
"Give me your arm." He said.
"No." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Hannah," He laughed at my response and gently pulled my left arm to him while pushing the jacket sleeve away so my cast could display.
"What are you going to write?" I asked.
He shrugged pulling the cap off the marker. I tried to read as he wrote but he was leaning over my cast covering whatever he was doing on purpose.
When he finally moved away, I ran my eyes over the neatly written words.
'If break a leg really means good luck, you're in for a lot of it (it's not your leg, but it's close enough) - Puzzle Guy'
I laughed at the cute face he drew beneath it.
"I like it." I smiled.
"We'll have your friends fill it up later." He said handing me the marker.
"Where are we going?" I asked feeling a little lighter.
He just gave me a smile before he started the car again.
"Da -" I began.
"Shhh." He cut me off. I frowned and he laughed as he drove.
A while later, I was just about ready to dose off when Damien decided it would be a nice time to stop driving and pat my head to wake me. Yes, pat my head. He was getting weirder as time went by...
"We're here." He announced.
"Home?" I sat up, he chuckled.
"Nope. You snowboard?" He asked.
I looked up and realised we were outside an indoor skiing and snowboarding resort.
"No," I mumbled.
"You do now," he said getting out of the car. I looked up feeling a nervous... but also quite excited... I had never gone snowboarding before...
"Come on," Damien smiled swinging my door open. I had not even realised he was waking me up while already standing outside, I hadn't heard him get out of the car in my sleepy haze.
I glanced back at the building.
"B-but I can't snowboard," I mumbled.
"There's so much fun in learning, Hannah: I get to laugh at you while you continuously fall down." I frowned at him, and he laughed as he grabbed my hand and attempted to help me out of the car, but I pulled my hand from his instinctively and avoided his eyes as I got out myself. He seemed a little dejected by the movement which made me feel bad, especially because I wanted to hold his hand as well.
"That's the entrance?" I pointed to it trying to break the awkward silence I had just created between us. When he didn't reply, I turned to him.
He glanced at my arm and I could read the 'maybe this isn't the best idea' look on his face.
"Look, maybe we should just get something to eat; I don't want you hurting your arm more." He said.
"But I want to snowboard..." I said. He gave a skew frown as he glanced up at the doors. "It seems fun when I watch it on TV... my arm's fine, Damien. Please? We're already here." He looked at me like he was having an internal debate with himself before he sighed and nodded.
"Let's go." He smiled at me, "But if Lyle kills me, it'll be on you." He added.
"I'll decorate your grave with black roses." I replied pretending to be mournful of the thought.
"Oh, well, at least that's thoughtful." He laughed as we headed towards the doors.
-----
I laughed as Damien fell face-first into the snow.
I had done that too a couple of times, but it was easy to hide how much it hurt with my still-healing scars and knee becasue of the adrenaline and fun I was having, even so, every time I fell he would run up and ask me if I was alright - doing the opposite of what he said he would do. With Damien, though, I couldn't help but laugh... and then ask him if he was okay, of course.
He chuckled as he got up pulling his helmet off and ruffling snow out of his hair. I had no idea how he had even managed to get it inside his helmet...
We had been at it for about two hours, it was incredibly fun, but a part of me still wondered why he was wasting time hanging out with me. I tried to brush it off as much as I could but it was always there in the back of my mind and it of my chest...
"Yeah laugh, like you're doing better." He rolled his eyes as he chuckled. He was right, I was still doing way worse than he was, but it was my first time, not his. "Are you hungry?" He smiled at me.
I bit my lip giving a nod.
"Great, I know this great -" he was saying when he was interrupted by a scream before someone smashed into him.
I gasped as they rolled in the snow.
"Ah -" my eyes widened at Damien's cry.
"Oh my God, I am so sorry." The girl kicked her board off before she pulled him to his feet looking frantically worried.
He gave a laugh as he rubbed his elbow.
"It's okay, I'm good. I'm fine. Just a pinch." He chuckled.
"I'm really sorry." She said.
He chuckled. "Don't be." He said.
She smiled at him brushing her hair from her face and I shifted my eyes back to his face. He was smiling at her as he grabbed her board off the snow.
"Here..." He said.
I let my eyes drift towards the top of the hill feeling slightly annoyed by their encounter. I looked down giving a snort in my mind.
Did you really think...? I told you so.
I felt my mood drop as I bit my lip. I'm so stupid...
I turned around as someone pulled my board from my arm before an arm fell around my shoulders immediately causing me to tense up as I was pulled against them.
"Let's get something to eat," Damien said leaning his chin on my head.
"Uhm. S-sure." I stuttered surprised by our proximity.
He gave me a smile and I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked down and let my hair fall over my face even though I knew he wouldn't see it because of the makeup I had plastered on.
He's so nice, he was just being nice... and I'm such an idiot.
-----
We were walking through what looked like a flea market of sorts. We had gotten some cake and milkshake. It was fun looking at the random things that were laid out everywhere, occasionally testing out the toys and gadgets we found. After we reached the end of the market, we began walking through a close-to-vacant park as the sun was beginning to set
"Stop that," Damien frowned as I messed with the straw in my milkshake while we walked. "Hannah." He gave me a playful glare, but it was contrasted by the hint of a smile on his lips.
"No, the chocolate's stuck and I wanna..." I drifted as I focused on my milkshake taping the straw a little harder.
"No, Hannah! Babe -" What? He -? "Stop doing that before -" My eyes widened as the straw snapped out of the cup splashing calculate milkshake all over his face. I forgot about the initial shock of realising what he'd called me that had caused me to snap the straw out in surprise, and instead tried to cover my mouth seeing his face but it didn't help much as I burst out laughing at him. "Oh, you think this is funny?" He asked. I let out a scream as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into him succeeding in only splashing more of my milkshake onto him and a little on me.
"Hey - my milkshake -" I frowned.
"It's your fault. I'm sticky now." He frowned.
I glanced up and gave a laugh at the milkshake on his face before I coughed realising that I was pressed against his chest.
I attempted to step back but I froze when his hand fell onto my lower back holding me to my spot against him.
"Uhm -" I began.
"This is not fair, Hannah." I looked up confused before I caught the smirk on his face.
"No, it was a -" I began but I spoke too late as he pat his hand on his wet shirt before he stuck milkshake into my face and hair.
Instead of getting upset, I just began laughing more. I couldn't remember having ever laughed that much with someone. I was being so rude; I shouldn't have been laughing at our wastage of food.
"I'm sor -" I gasped slightly when I looked up and he just leaned down at me quickly, completely freezing as his lips met mine.
My heart pretty much stopped in my chest as he pulled me closer against him. I didn't know how to react, my mind just going blank at the feeling of his slightly sticky soft lips so I just stood there letting him kiss me.
Damien was kissing me...
Oh my God...
He broke apart a little and chuckled slightly. "Sorry, I forgot you've never done this before..." I looked down as I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I'd never told him that, he just assumed... and e was right. "And I'm sorry I didn't ask or warn you..." He added.
I nodded feeling my heart thump in my chest. What just happened?
He just kissed me. Damien kissed me. Why did he kiss me? Why would he kiss me? I heard him release an annoyed sigh.
"No, whatever, I'm not sorry -" I froze again as he grabbed my chin gently to lift my face back to his before he kissed me again.
*****