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chapter thirty five
invitations and texts
[Two weeks later]
"Have you got the invitations?" I asked to Lila, my bridesmaid. I hadn't said anything to her and I hadn't seen Tom ever since. He's sent a couple of texts and I've called him a couple of times, but it's awkward.
"Yep, whoa, you're only inviting thirty people? You don't have friends, do you?" I chuckled.
"I've got friends, but I don't want a lot of people getting drunk, stuff could happen, stuff they might not want to happen."
"Okay? Oh, what time is Clay coming? He said he was going to help with this."
"Apparently, one of his sisters is ill and he went to visit her." I wrote the name of one of my mum's friends on the envelope, "Tanya Davidson, check." I grabbed another and checked the names on my list, "Diana." Tom's mum. Of course she was invited, and Sarah and Emma, but I didn't know what to do with Tom.
"You alright?"
"Yes." I scribbled their names on the envelope and grabbed another one to write Tom's name on it, "I'm alright." The main door creaked open and we heard Clay tossing the keys on the couch, "Well, he's early at least." I said softly and he stepped into the dining room, "How's your sister?"
"It's just a cold, she always overreacts, can I help?" He sat next to me and kissed my cheek.
"Actually, we already finished." Lila said, smiling, "And it's late, so, I'd better be off, I've got to read for tomorrow's meeting." She stood up, "The big day is in one month! I'm so excited guys, but I must go." I smiled.
"Thanks for helping, I'll see you tomorrow." I said. She said goodbye and left the flat. Planning a wedding is stressing, even if it's only a small one. Clay wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug.
"You've been distracted lately, is everything okay?"
"Wedding nerves?" He kissed my forehead, "I don't know. But everything's gonna be fine." I tapped his knee and squeezed his thigh, "Tickles."
"Stop! Do not do that again." I chuckled.
"Why? It's funny to see you blushing and screaming like a little girl." He smiled, "We should go to bed now, it's Monday tomorrow." I stood up and headed to the bathroom to get rid of my makeup. I was about to finish when I saw him leaning on the doorway and I only smiled at him, but he came and hugged me from behind.
"Don't you want to play a little before going to sleep?" I snorted and he tickled my sides, "C'mon." He lifted me and carried me in his arms.
"I still have makeup on the half of my face."
"It doesn't matter, dear." I rolled my eyes.
The next day, after work, I went with Lila to see the cake and the dress. We were having dinner at a small restaurant when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Tom.
Tom - 7:36 PM
How are you?
Even texting was kind of awkward.
Nicole - 7:40 PM
I'm okay, thank you. What about you?
I set my phone on my thigh and continued eating. Lila was a very quiet one at the table, so we were not talking. The phone buzzed again.
Tom - 7:43 PM
Glad to hear that. I'm fine, I just got home from the airport.
Nicole - 7:45 PM
You didn't tell me you were away, I could've wished you a safe flight.
Tom - 7:46 PM
It was. I didn't tell you because I thought you'd be busy.
Tom - 7:46 PM
I heard the wedding is soon.
Nicole - 7:49 PM
It is, yes.
Tom - 7:55 PM
Nic?
Nicole - 7:57 PM
Yep?
...
...
...
Tom - 8:03 PM
We haven't talked about, you know.
Nicole - 8:05 PM
Though the was no need since no-one has to know and you said 'let's pretend it didn't happen' I'm doing my best to pretend. You must be doing it better, you're the actor.
Tom - 8:07 PM
Don't get angry. I was just saying.
Nicole - 8:07 PM
I'm not angry.
Nicole - 8:07 PM
I think we should leave it and continue, 'it didn't happen' anyway.
Tom - 8:09 PM
It didn't happen.
Tom - 8:11 PM
What are you up to?
Nicole - 8:12 PM
I'm with Lila. Having dinner.
Tom - 8:12 PM
It was true.
Nicole - 8:13 PM
What was true?
Tom - 8:13 PM
I went to your place to say hi, Clay said something about your dress.
Nicole - 8:14 PM
Yeah the dress.
Tom - 8:14 PM
You will look beautiful in that dress.
Tom - 8:14 PM
I must go now, enjoy dinner. Bye.
Nicole - 8:15 PM
Bye.
I stared at my plate and rubbed my forehead, "Are you okay?" Lila asked.
"Yes, it's just, I'm not hungry anymore."
Clay and I decided to visit my mum's grave on Friday. Of course it wasn't easy for me, but I had to do it. It was the only way to be with her, kind of. I hadn't even reached her grave when I was already crying.
"Nice place, I'll consider the idea of being buried here." He said.
"Clay."
"What?" I rolled my eyes, "What's he doing here?" I heard Clay asking and I looked up. Tom was sitting on the grass, across from the gravestone and caressing the flowers in his hands, "Is he talking to your mum?"
"Can you stop being an arse for a second, please?" I said walking away. Tom saw me and he made an attempt to wipe his tears as fast as he could before standing up.
"Hi." He said softly and I hesitated to hug him, "Hush, it's okay." He wrapped his arms around me while I cried for three reasons: for mum, for what happened between us and because it was the first time we had seen each other.
"She loved you." I said in an affected voice. I could feel him smiling.
"Are you following us?" Clay asked jokingly and put his hands over my shoulders whilst chuckling.
"Technically, I came first, you are following me." Tom said in a flat voice.
"Clay shut up." I whispered.
"C'mon honey, it's-"
"I don't think this is the appropriate moment for jokes." I wanted to laugh, because of Clay's face when Tom said that, but I cried instead.
"Well, so now please tell me when I can make a joke." Clay spat.
"I'm sure I will, even though you should already know when a joke is appropriate." I heard Tom's voice rumbling inside his chest.
"You-"
"Can you stay quiet?" I said and looked at them.
"I'm sorry." Tom whispered. I bent over to put the flowers I had brought, next to the gravestone.
"Whatever, I'll be in the car." Clay muttered before leaving. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and I spoke a few minutes later.
"You came." I said.
"I would never forget to come visit your mum. It's been nearly two years." He said, "She would be proud of you." I shook my head.
"Proud of me." I mumbled. Yeah, I slept with my best friend and now I'm lying to myself, I'm lying to my fiancé, pretending it never happened. I don't think that's something she'd be proud of. A thunder crossed the sky and we both looked at the grey sky, "Tom, about the other day, the texts..." He shook his head.
"It's fine." He gave me a small smile. Then the silence.
"I have to go." I said and smiled at him before walking, but I stopped in my tracks, "Do you want to have dinner with me? To celebrate you're back." I smiled.
"I can't. "
"There will be pudding at the end." I said and he smiled.
"Clay's angry with me, Nic, I don't want to cause problems-"
"Who said he's coming with us?"