As he was lost in thought, still trying his best to control his desires, Khushi moved again, trying to get into a more comfortable position. And Arnav could only tighten his arms around her in an attempt to control his hands from moving elsewhere and to stop those weird stirrings in him as her body rubbed against his.
Staying away from this Khushi was going to harder than he thought, he realised...
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The next morning, Khushi stirred awake, feeling like she just had the best night's sleep she'd ever had. She felt so comfortable and warm that she almost moaned at the thought of getting up. She dug her face into her pillow and snuggled in more. She just wanted to lay here like this forever. But of course, she was being stupid she knew so she slowly opened her eyes, only to find that instead of a pillow, she saw a chest!
Khushi's eyes widened at that and she quickly leaned back a little bit to see a peacefully sleeping Arnav lying beneath to her, with his one arm wound tightly around her waist and the other cradling her head against his chest, while her own leg was thrown over his abdomen carelessly. Khushi gasped as she processed their intimate position.
She tried to move out of his embrace without waking him up but fate wasn't on her side and her plan backfired.
When she tried to take his hands off her waist, he just tightened his arms around her waist - but that wasn't the best part! He seemed to need to change positions in his sleep, so he turned over to his side with his hands still on Khushi's waist and head, causing Khushi to lie on her back while he nuzzled her neck, snuggling into her warmth.
At first when he moved, Khushi was relieved thinking he might be awake now. But her hopes were dashed as she realised in the next few seconds that he was still asleep. She was tempted to wake him up so that she could move away, but somehow she didn't have the heart to do it. He looked so peaceful and baby-like while he was asleep. She'd never seen his face this serene - even during the other numerous time she's seen him sleep, and she just didn't want ruin this for him.
There was another reason she didn't want to wake him up - one that she didn't really want to admit to herself... But she felt good in the confines of his arms, feeling his warm breath caressing her neck. Like... it felt really good. It was like heaven. Khushi felt so safe and warm and... she couldn't explain it, but it just felt so right. It was almost like she was made to be held in his arms...
Her thoughts suddenly changed directions and the events of the previous day flooded back to her.
He was hurt, she knew. Hurt by her words. But she didn't mean it the way he took it, and she would make sure that she told him that today. She had grown attached to Arnav a lot in the past few weeks. She saw a great friend in Arnav - in fact friend doesn't even cover her feelings for Arnav. She didn't what it was that she felt for him, but she knew it was more than mere friendship. And she knew it wasn't just from her side too - she had seen him slowly start to smile in the time they grew closer. And she would be damned if she let this beautiful relation between them get ruined by a misunderstanding.
But what would she say to him? How could she word things so that he would understand that she wasn't pointing a finger at him, but simply just trying to be a part of his life?
As Arnav wriggled against her a little, her mind was brought back to a more pressing issue at the moment.
How had they ended up in bed together?
She could remember flashes of him making her drink milk and tucking her into bed, but she couldn't remember when he had got into bed with her. He had never done that before...
Did something happen between us...?' she thought. She gasped at the thought.
NO! It couldn't be, her mind berated her. Arnav would never do that to her. Ever.
She was still racking her brain trying to figure out what happened yesterday when Arnav finally stirred awake.
Arnav hadn't felt this peaceful in what felt like forever. He almost woke up with a smile on his face today.
But that feeling of serenity vanished when he looked up to see a very confused and slightly worried Khushi, looking down at him, waiting for answers.
He groaned inside, while releasing Khushi from his hold and lazily getting up into a sitting position. Great. Now she was going to start accusing him of taking advantage of her while she was in a vulnerable state. Just great. As if there weren't enough accusations on the plate already.
And that thought reminded him that he was angry at her. Her words, his words, and her state last night all repeated themselves over and over in his brain, fueling his resolve to stay away from her even more.
But he still owed her an explanation as to why they were both sleeping next to each other from last night. It was his responsibility to tell her and he wasn't going to back away from it. From now on, that's how it will be. Just his duty and his responsibilities. No feelings involved. None.
And with that resolve, he looked straight into Khushi's eyes, with no emotion on his face, ready to start his explanation. And that scared Khushi.
She had seen that blank face several times during her initial days with him, and she did not want it back. Not after everything they had gone through to get to where they were. She had to do something.
"Look Khushi, I know what you're thinking, but I wasn't taking advantage of you. You were ill last night with a fever, and you were shivering in your sleep. I didn't have any more blankets and body heat was the only thing I could give you to make you feel better. And so I did." He gave his explanation bluntly and moved to get out of bed.
"Thank you for taking care of me last night Arnavji. And thank you for telling me all this now, but you've got one thing wrong Arnavji. I never thought you took advantage of me. Even if Devi Maiya herself came up to me and told me that you ever took advantage of me or tried to, I would never believe her. I trust you Arnavji," Khushi said, her eyes shining with trust, hoping that whatever she just said actually registers in Arnav's head.
Arnav just snickered in response. "If you'd told me this two days ago, I would have believed you. Now however, is a different matter altogether."
And with that Arnav got out of the bed and left to the bathroom to freshen up.
Khushi sighed. She would just have to try harder.
Later when they were sitting down eating Khushi's handmade breakfast in silence, Khushi tried to broach the subject that Arnav had been avoiding all morning.
"Arnavji, about yesterday..." she started hesitantly.
Arnav just did not want to talk about it. He didn't want to hear anything. So he stopped eating midway and just stood up from the dining table and started to walk off towards the sink to wash his hands and just leave the place.
Khushi felt bad seeing him getting up from the dining table without having finished his breakfast.
"Arnavji!" she called after him as she quickly got up from the table too and ran after him, hoping to stop him before he got to the sink.
Arnav didn't turn around but luckily Khushi managed to run past him and stand in front facing him, blocking his way to the sink.
"Arnavji I'm sorry! I won't talk about it again but please go and finish your breakfast. Please," she pleaded.
"Khushi. Move." That's all he said in reply.
But Khushi stood her ground, not willing to give up. "Nahi! (No!)" she replied quietly but also defiantly.
"Khushi," he warned with a dangerous glare and gritted teeth. "I said MOVE," he repeated once again.
"Please Arnavji, don't take out your anger on the food. Please."
Arnav stepped aside, about to walk past Khushi but Khushi blocked his path again.
"KHUSHI JUST LEAVE ME ALONE DAMN IT!" bellowed Arnav, unable to contain his anger anymore. Thank heavens that the room was soundproof - otherwise the whole office would have heard his outburst.
But Khushi stood there unfazed by his anger. She was done being nice.
"No! No! No! I won't leave you alone!" Khushi exclaimed in reply. "Did you ever leave me alone when I was in danger? Did you ever leave me when I was crying over parents? Did you ever leave me when I was upset? The answer to all these questions is no! So why do you think that I would leave you alone when you are feeling upset?!"
"KYUNKI MERE HAR TAKLEEF KI VAJA TUM HI HO! (BECAUSE YOU ARE THE REASON FOR MY EVERY PAIN!)" he yelled.
Arnav regretted his words the very next second when he saw the tears streaming down Khushi's cheeks, piercing his heart.
But he couldn't get himself to apologise to her. He just couldn't.
But he couldn't bear to face her either. Looking at those tears of hurt made him feel too guilty.
So he stepped around her to get to the sink again, but this time too Khushi blocked him.
She quickly wiped her tears off her cheek, even though that wasn't much help because more tears just flowed down to replace them. "I'm-I'm sorry that I cause you so much pain," she said staring at the floor. "I will try not to come in your path from now on... And I will try not to show you my face," she continued, her voice breaking a few times. "But you can't out your anger on the food. You're angry with me so take it out on me. Not the food. I know you wouldn't have had dinner last night because of me. So please don't skip breakfast too. It's a request. It's the last favour I will ever ask of you."
She took her eyes off the floor and slowly looked up to meet his eyes and added, "Please," her voice breaking once more.
And with that she walked off to the bathroom, not wanting her presence to stop him from finishing his breakfast. Arnav just stood there silently, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat.
As soon as she closed the door behind her she broke down into sobs, closing her hand over her mouth to hide the sound of her crying.
But Arnav could hear her muffled cries. And he knew he had no one to blame for it except himself. But was he the only one at fault?
His eyes were red with unshed tears, as he heard her crying her heart out.
Both of them were lamenting over what their relationship had come down to.
Neither of them had wanted any of this to happen, but it did. And now they were just left with broken hearts and pieces of a once beautiful relationship. Would they ever be able to put the pieces back together?