My class was so boring, history, I'm terrible at it. I dose off a lot in this class, like now. I like to think, but at times I really hate it because my thinking goes way too far. Today I didn't think about Lance, I thought about Derrick. I learned a lot about him and his friends today at lunch. Derrick was so popular, he and his friends all played football, but he was the star of the football team, he's probably only speaking to me because he feels bad. Why would someone as popular as him, go for the new girl like me? That doesn't seem right... maybe he's trying to make some girl jealous? I think too negatively. But we're very different... he's so outgoing, loud, funny, and attractive. But me... I am shy, quiet, boring, and not so very attractive to be honest. I can't like him, I don't like him. I've only known him for two days of course but I'm still in love with Lance, even if he is gone, I don't care. No matter how much I try I miss him, and it hurts to know that he is never coming back. I'm thinking about him again, I can't... I'll break down. The bell rang trailing me out of my thoughts... again. I was putting my things in my book bag until I felt someone tap my shoulder, I took a glance and thought it was Lance, this has gotten to the point where I think everyone I see is Lance. It was Derrick, far from being Lance. "Hey." I looked up at him, I was the first one to speak this time, I felt proud of myself for speaking first for once. "Hey," he smiled a grand smiled, I thought he was going to ask if I needed a ride home, "It's Friday and I wanted to know if maybe you... Um..." he struggled with his words but finally got it out. "Wanted to come to my football game tonight." I bit my lip and thought for a second. He started to hesitate because I took so long to reply. "I mean it's only if you want to, I can take you home afterwards, but if you don't want to that's okay." He kept rambling and he wouldn't stop, I couldn't get a word in. "Or if you don't want to come that's okay, I can drive you home right now if that's what you want." I couldn't help but laugh at him slightly. He must have thought I was laughing at him because he looked down. "Relax. I'll go." I said smiling and giggling a bit. His face lit up while looking at me. "Really?" he asked surprised and I nodded. "You don't mind staying here after school then? It'd be a lot easier than wasting gas. You should ask your mom first." I did as he said and she said I could. All he was doing was smiling that special smile I like so much. "Awesome, come on, I'll take you to the stands." I followed him outside, this football field was huge. I've never been to a football game before because Lance used to play baseball... he was so good a baseball, my old school's baseball team will never be the same again without him. I started to become sad, he seemed noticed. "Are you okay?" he asked curiously, I answered with a nod. He didn't believe me, I know he didn't believe me but he went along with it, he's known me for two days and is already starting to figure out so much about me with just my lack of words. How does he do that? He started to guide me to a girl sitting in the stands, texting in her phone, she looked up and smiled. Does he already have a girl wrapped around his finger? Am I just a friend he wants to be close to? This felt like it hurt... but why does it hurt? I don't know. "Renae, this is my older sister, Natalia. Natalia, this is my friend I've been talking about, Renae." he said smiling. In a way I felt relieved that this was his sister, I don't know why. He soon left and left me with his sister because he and the football team had to get dressed and warmed up. I'm shy, so I don't want to make things awkward.
Derrick's Point Of View
She's great. I'm so glad she said yes to coming to my game today. It's been two days and I feel really close to her already. She's so shy, I like that. She's definitely not like other girls, she doesn't want me like all the other girls do. Other girls want me because I'm the star of the football team or because I have good looks. I'm not going to lie, I'm not ugly. I laughed slightly to myself, maybe she's not that way yet, maybe she won't end up like that. I can't say I like her... like like her, because I don't. I'm not that kind of guy who falls fast and plays girls, just because I'm "popular" people think I've been with tons of girls, they think I sleep with them. It's not true, I've only been with two girls my whole life, surprising huh? Yeah, I know. My friends are always asking me why I don't go out and find myself a girlfriend, truth is, all the girls at my school care about looks and popularity, it makes me so sick to even think about it. I'm a cheesy type of guy but not so romantic I guess. I've never really had a first date. My great idea of a perfect date isn't something very romantic to be honest. I'd take a girl to my place, order pizza of her choice and watch movies all night. That's a great date for me. I smiled at the thought of it, that I would find a girl to share that perfect date with. I kept walking to the weight room, it seemed farther than usual, maybe I was just lost in my thoughts. Back to the point about my "popularity". I hate when people say I'm popular, I'm just another kid in the school along with everyone else. I'm really not that much more important than everybody else there. They think everything in my life is so perfect, but it's not to tell the truth. I hide all my emotions, I had to see a doctor for it. I had lost both of parents just two weeks ago, I had tried to stay strong for them. They were killed when someone broke into our house, after the guy was done with his job... he killed himself. I had a rough past, used to cut last year, though nobody knew about it but me... My parents were never home, they were always out drinking. I would spend my days in my room just cutting away, I wanted to end my life. Until one day Adam walked in on me by surprise.
Flashback
It hurts. Everything hurts, not just physically but mentally as well. I lay on my bed, cutting, not realizing what I'm doing because my wrists had went numb after a few cuts. I didn't realize how much blood I had gotten on my bed. My parents will ask me what happened, but hey won't care, they're to busy getting drunk. I wish they would stop, I wish they would go back to the parents I had when I was younger. I looked over seeing a bottle of pain pills. Tears were running down my cheeks but I show no emotion. "I'm such a baby." I whispered to myself grabbing the bottle of pain pills next to my bed. I lied them all out, counted them. One, two, three... fifteen of them. They can't ask me what happened if I'm not here in this world, correct? I grabbed a bottle of water as well and stared at the pills for what seemed forever. I felt like a little girl, a little baby girl. I felt weak. I put five pills in my hand, I would take five pills three times adding up to fifteen. I know I should write something or call someone about this, but I can't or else I'll back out of it. I put all five pills in my mouth until someone walked into my room. No... it was Adam. "Derrick!?" Adam yelled bloody murder and ran to my side pushing my head down to spit out all five pills I had taken inside my mouth. I was shaking terribly. "Derrick, what are thinking!? Have you gone mad!?" He yelled in my face, it seems like he's almost about to cry. "What have to done to yourself!? Where are your parents!? Where's your sister!?" he grabbed my wrists and stared at them, he seemed so worried, but I don't understand why. His life would have been the same without me, I don't need to be here and he doesn't really need me. "Where do you think my parents are?" I asked him with attitude. It finally clicked to him that they were out drinking again and I told him my sister was at her friend's house. I had to reach my breaking point sometime.
End of Flashback
He told me I needed help and he forced me to see a doctor, he payed for it and kept it from my parents. I'm so thankful I went, I got better, and I'm so glad to have a best friend like him. Except my anger never changed. It was a part of me that would never go away but if it weren't for him I'd probably be dead by now. "Alright boys, get on the field now and sprint! Hustle hustle hustle!" He yells at all of us, I was distracted the entire time. "You alright man?" Adam asked as we jogged to the field. "Yeah, just thinking a little to deep." I revealed, I hate talking like this because my soft and sensitive side comes out. He knew I didn't wanna talk about it. "Is your girlfriend here?" he smirked at me while we sprinted and I gave him a death glare. We both laughed, "she's not my girlfriend and she's with my sister on the bleachers." I was going to be teased about this for a while now. It was about 7:00 p.m. now and our game starts at 7:30 p.m. so we have half an hour to do whatever, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I left the field and went to where Renae and Natalia were in the stands. "Boo!" I scared them both out of their skins and laughed. They were both finding something to talk about though I couldn't figure it out because I wasn't part of the conversation. "You're a terrible person!" my sister yelled at me punching my arm, I laughed and told her I was guilty, obviously just messing around. I couldn't stop laughing, "nah." I said with a cheeky grin. "You," I started talking to Renae, "need to take a picture with me because it's your first time coming to one of my football games." I smiled at the excuse I made to get a picture with her. She's seemed to hesitate, "Um..." I guess she doesn't like pictures, but that's to bad, she's getting one with me. "Come on. Stand up here with me. Here, Natalia, take it on my phone." Renae stood close to me, I put an arm around her waist while she rested her hand on my back. After my sister took the picture she showed it to me, I really like it. I showed it to Renae and she liked it as well, so with that we exchanged numbers so I could send it to her. "Bub," my sister called me, I call her sissy and she calls be bub or bubby, childish I know but we grew up calling each other that, "it's 7:28, you should go before your coach starts going off on you guys." I nodded and gave her a hug, I could just give her one and not Renae. I gave Renae a hug and whispered in her ear, "you're my good luck charm tonight. I'm playing for you." I let go and sprinted to the field. Am I flirting with her? Did she like what I said? I didn't mean to flirt, it was true. I got to my spot on the field getting ready to call out the plays, I stared at the opposite team dead in the eyes. With that... we began playing some hardcore football.
We won! I got so many touchdowns I think I lost count! This team used to be undefeated, but not anymore. Football is my only place to take out my anger and I love it, even when I'm not angry. We had a team talk after our game and when we were done, Adam and I went up to the bleachers with my sister and Renae. When I got to where they were sitting people started to crowd around me giving pats on the back and congratulating words. I was happy. I gave my sister a hug and she was excited for me, I got the most touchdowns I have ever gotten before! She smiled, her and Adam went to my car because I was giving them a ride.
They left me and Renae as the only ones in the bleachers. Thanks guys. "You did great out there." she said with a shy smile spreading across her lovely face. "Thank you." I smiled getting slightly closer to her. She looked down and smiled. "So this is the first football game you've every been too? I'm glad it's mine." I said with a smile. She nodded and bit her lip. "Look at me." I noticed her look up as slow as possible, she was still smiling. "You're beautiful..." I whispered as our faces somehow got closer. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close so our bodies were now touching. I stared into her eyes. They were green... so so green. Did she want to kiss me? I want to kiss her. If I do kiss her, would she kiss me back? I guess all I would have to do now is find out. I leaned in and kissed her. I kissed her like I meant it.
"Uh... Derrick?" She trailed me out of my daydream. "Huh?" I snapped out of it. "I said you did great out there. You're staring at me funny." Her face turned red. I must've trailed out for a long time. Oops. "Oh, yeah, sorry I got kind of distracted. Uh... thanks by the why." I laughed nervously. I feel like I just blew this nice moment. "Anyways, you need a ride home, right?" I asked changing the subject quickly. "Oh, yes please." She smiled and we walked to my truck. In my truck were Adam and my sister, I had forgot about them. They were both on their phones, go figure, they always are. Adam and Natalia acted like brother and sister, I'm glad because I wasn't letting my best friend date my sister. I got into my drivers spot and let Renae sit in the passenger seat. I turned on the radio and started to drive. I love driving at night, it's soothing, but not to the point where I fall asleep. After a while I got to Renae's house. "Hey Renae, thanks again for coming." She nodded obviously very tired and worn out, probably more than me. "It's no problem." She whispered getting out of my pickup truck. "Hey uh, text me, yeah?" I bit my lip hard. She smiled and nodded, going to her house quietly. I drove back to my house with Adam and Natalia. Natalia went straight to bed while Adam and I went to my room. "Are you okay, man?" Adam asked as we were laying on my bed in silence. I nodded, I could be sensitive when I wanted to be, but I don't show it in front of everyone, only my sister and Adam because most people say sensitive guys are gay. I am not gay, that's for sure. "I just miss them a lot," Adam nodded slow understandingly, "I just don't get why they had to go." I turned my back to him already ready for bed. "I know it's hard. They're in a better place now, I promise." He patted my back, that's the last thing I heard and felt until I fell asleep.
Author's Note: Going to double update since I didn't update in 4 days!!