My days went on normally and I spent a lot of time hanging out with Rachel as just friends, since we'd both realized we were were better off that way. She actually tried introducing me to other girls but I said I wasn't interested in meeting anyone at the moment.
The fact was, I was still confused about how to clear things up with Ann. At the very least I wanted us to be able to see each other as before, without neither of us feeling awkward. But it seemed like seeing me wasn't high on her priorities, or at least that's what I thought, until today.
She'd texted me this morning inviting me over to watch a movie together and 'catch up'. I was surprised to say the least. And nervous. After almost two weeks of no contact, the prospect of seeing her made me very nervous.
I spent all day thinking about what I'll say, what she'll say and what we could talk about without touching any sensitive topic. I managed to calm myself down before going over to her place though, I didn't want her to think I was affected by seeing her for the first time in two weeks. I mean, why would I be?
So, as she opened the door and let me in I acted completely normal as I would have been hadn't anything happened between us. She made popcorn while we debated on what movie to watch and settled with Interstellar.
As we sat down and started the movie all I could pay attention to was her sitting right next to me. We weren't touching or anything but it felt like I was aware of her every breath. And I wondered why we weren't born with eyes on the side of our heads. They could have come in useful, come to think of it.
"Why aren't you eating?"
"Huh?" I asked, startled by her question that woke me up from my daze. I noticed the half eaten bowl of popcorn she was referring to and shrugged.
"I'll get fat if I eat it all by myself." She added.
I chuckled and turned to face her. "Maybe that's my plan."
She threw a popcorn at my face but missed the target completely. "Okay then." She said and continued eating.
I turned my attention back to the TV sighing. "Is it going to end any time soon?" I asked.
"It's just two hours long, shut up."
"Two hours going on four." I pouted. The movie was probably going to be just fine, had I actually watched it.
She left the bowl of popcorn on the small table, scooted closer to me and poked my side. "You could have said you wanted to watch another movie."
"Don't touch me with those greasy hands." I said and grabbed her offending hand by the wrist, keeping it away from me.
She seemed offended. "I just ate some popcorn."
"Exactly."
She stared at me for a moment and then stealthily rubbed her free hand on my shirt.
"Hey!" I protested and grabbed that hand too but it was too late. I looked down at my shirt and then at Ann. "See what you've done, my shirt's ruined."
She laughed. "Where? I can't see anything."
I shook my head disapprovingly. "Now you'll have to buy me a new one for my birthday."
"Oh, when is it?"
I was still holding her hands by the wrists so I let them go. "Actually, it's already passed." I said.
She seemed surprised. "Really? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, we weren't really on speaking terms at the time."
She thought about it for a second and then understood what I was referring to. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"When was it?"
"December 19th."
She mulled over that. "So you're a Sagittarius."
"Apparently..." I said. "Please don't tell me you believe in those things."
"No!" She said defensively and then muttered, "well, maybe just a little..."
I snorted. "And what would your sign be?" I asked, I actually didn't know when her birthday was.
She smiled. "Aries."
I nodded as if I knew something about Aries. "And when's your birthday?"
"April 2nd."
I grinned at that. "Oh, so you were almost someone's April Fool's joke."
She slapped my arm. "More like I was a God sent gift."
I laughed. "As long as you believe that." Then I stared at her for a few seconds, until she got uncomfortable and looked away. "So," I said to get her attention, "are Aries and Sagittarius compatible?"
She blushed and avoided looking at me. "Uhm, I don't know much about Sagittarius so I wouldn't know."
"Hmm... If I had to guess I'd say we are the least compatible of all the signs."
"Do you really think so?"
"Well, you hate me." I said matter of factly.
She furrowed her brows. "What? No. I don't hate you."
"Okay, maybe 'hate' is a strong word." I conceded. "But you don't like me."
"I do like you." She said.
I smirked. "Really?"
She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I'm very likeable."
Sighing, she turned her attention back to the movie and we proceded to watch it silently.
Except, we'd dozed off and I'd woken up with a hurting shoulder. Ann was sleeping soundly using my shoulder as a pillow and since I felt like a good person today, I didn't try to wake her up and endured the pain. I waited for a while, watching some late night TV and expecting her to wake up soon, not certainly to slide off to my lap in a more comfortable position.
I listened to her light snoring and decided to take a pic of her just so I could tease her later. I took my phone out and snapped a photo, cringing when I realized it made a loud sound.
She seemed to stir from her sleep.
"Zzzzz... you're sleeping." I tried hypnotizing her.
She opened one eye.
"This is a dream, zzzzz..."
She opened the other eye and turned on her back to glare up at me.
I smiled tentatively. "Oops."
"Why am I sleeping on your lap?" She asked accusingly, as if it was my fault.
"I'm asking myself the same thing."
She glared at me again but didn't get up.
"You look really cute when you sleep." I teased.
She raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"
"Yeah, you sleep with your mouth open and you snore from time to time."
That got her mad. "I most definitely don't snore, as I've told you before."
"I wish I'd recorded it but here," I took out my phone again, "look at this picture."
She sat up then and grabbed my phone from my hands, staring intently at the picture I'd taken of her.
"God, I look horrible."
"Huh?"
"Why didn't you tell me I looked like this?"
"What are you talking about? You look fine." I said.
She shook her head. "I look like a mess."
"It's only me and I've seen you in worse conditions anyway." I tried reassuring her.
But that got the opposite reaction of what I'd hoped. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Uh..." I wish I could take my words back. "You still look fine."
She laughed sarcastically. "I told you you can't lie. I suppose you wouldn't kiss someone who looks like me right now."
What?
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, cautiously.
"Because, I don't look very attractive at the moment."
I stared at her without saying anything. I wondered if she realized what she was implying right now. Like, did she honestly want me to kiss her to prove her wrong?
Since I was confused and suddenly felt my heart rate speed up I remained rooted to my spot and blinked stupidly several times.
She was watching me too and after what felt like minutes of silence but was probably just a few seconds, she sighed. "You could have said I looked attractive. I would have bought the lie this time, you know."
"Uh..." I managed to utter.
"Cam?"
"Uh, sorry. I was trying to stop myself from doing a stupid thing." I said and gulped loudly.
She touched my arm to get my attention and when I turned to look at her I realized how close we were. When she'd gotten up from my lap, she'd ended up sitting pressed to my right side but that didn't seem to be bothering her much.
"What thing?" She asked, seemingly confused.
"Nothing." I said dismissively but that didn't seem to satisfy her.
"No, really. What stupid thing?" She insisted.
I exhaled loudly, wishing she'd stop asking. "A thing I shouldn't do."
"Why?"
She was so dumb. God.
Seriously, we now had to play the guessing game. "Because it's wrong." I said and saw her getting visibly upset about my non-answers.
"And why is it wrong?" She asked persistently.
"Because it is." I said and when she opened her mouth to ask 'why' again, I glared at her. "Stop it, I'm not gonna say what it is."
She looked at me suspiciously. "Hmmm..."
I almost sighed in relief too soon because she apparently hadn't given up yet. "Do I have to force it out of you?"
I snorted. "And let's hear, how would you manage to do that?"
"I was just bluffing." She said disappointedly. Then, pouting, she sank back on the couch and pretended to suddenly be watching the TV.
I stole a few glances at her, trying to figure out if she was mad or just pretending. I nudged her by the elbow only to gain a glare directed my way.
I sighed, defeated. "Okay, what do I have to do?"
She smiled. "You can start by telling me."
"Pass. Think of something else."
She rolled her eyes. "But I want to know!"
"And I'm not telling you." I said.
"Why?" She started again.
"Bec-"
"What's the big deal?" She continued, making me exasperated.
"Okay, fine! I stopped myself from kissing you, happy?" I said in one breath and saw her eyes widen.
"Wh-what?" She asked in a small voice.
"I wanted to put my lips on your lips, that's what a kiss entails." I explained, making sure she knew what I meant.
That seemed to recover her from her shock for a moment. "I know what a kiss is!" But then she got quiet again, looking down.
"See, you wouldn't have wanted that." I said bitterly.
She looked up at me and nodded once. "Yeah, that would have been stupid indeed."
We stared at each other almost challengingly. I leaned closer without even realizing it. "Very stupid..." I agreed before closing the small distance between us.
And I was kissing her again. I was kissing Ann again. My hand reached up to the back of her neck for support and I felt her grab my shirt on my back briefly before releasing it. Her lips parted just enough for our tongues to meet. She fell on her back and I was leaning over her, trying to adjust my hands so that I didn't put much weight on her.
This felt like deja vu. I was expecting the doorbell to ring any second now, a thunder to strike, a brick to fall on my head. Anything that would ruin the moment.
But nothing happened.
I leaned back for a moment, seeing Ann's closed eyes open. I was debating with myself if I should stop this now before it was to late. She was looking up at me, blushing. Probably embarrassed over the situation. I decided that if she wasn't going to slap me in about three seconds, I was going to kiss her again.
She didn't slap me, or maybe I'd just counted to two, but I did kiss her again. And this time it felt different. There was no guilt or fear, there was only me and her alone on her couch, kissing. When we parted again I trailed kisses down her neck. I stole a glance at her then, seeing her watching me and I smiled. "This is very stupid." I said.
"It is." She agreed.
"And that answers your question."
"What question?" She asked.
"You said I wouldn't want to kiss you."
She didn't say anything. I was expecting her to regret this in a minute but at least she wasn't freaking out at the moment. Tomorrow we'd still find it hard not to feel awkward around each other but worse of all, I didn't have an excuse I could use this time.
"I should probably go now." I added.
"Uh?" She seemed surprised.
"It's late." I said lamely. I studied her reaction but didn't get much out of it.
She just nodded and I managed to get up without embarrassing myself by touching her anywhere.
She got up as well and accompanied me to the door. She was still blushing and couldn't look me in the eyes but that was good since I was probably blushing as well right now. I wasn't sure on what to say or do, if I should have said something or done something, so I just left by saying a lame and awkward goodbye.