I opened my eyes slowly as I regained consciousness. The room wasn't dark as the curtains were pulled back. The wearer outside was gloomy, clouds covering the sky. It would be raining soon. I could feel Eric's presence beside me. I was lying on my front, my cheek buried into the pillow. I glanced up at Eric's face. He seemed to be sleeping. I moved closer towards him. His eyes flickered open startling me.
I remembered everything from last night. My eyes go over to my arms and I winced.
"Don't worry about it," Eric whispered, his fingers brushing my cheeks. I nodded my head. Eric put his other arm around me. I snuggled closer, my face in his neck.
"I don't want to go anywhere," I whispered slowly, breathing into his heavenly scent.
"You don't have to," Eric said slowly. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head.
"Don't tell Shane."
"I won't," he said. "Look at me." I looked up at Eric who had his hands on either side of my neck. I looked into his eyes.
"You don't have to worry. I will protect you but you know Shane is better," he said. I was confused by his words. I knew he would protect me.
"Shane is the one who can change you back. He is the one to save you from yourself. It won't be because he loves you it'll be because he knows what you want," he continued.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Is he leaving me?
"I mean..that you should maybe give him a chance. He knows you better. You're more comfortable with him. I have a dark past and maybe I have that affect on you," he explained, giving nothing away.
"What? Is that what you think? I can't-" I started to protest. I couldn't leave him.
"You've seen the real me. Why are you here? Last night, you cut yourself. Things could get worse. I don't want you to get hurt. Shane has this calming effect on you."
"No. No. Eric, I am not leaving you. You aren't doing this. I am doing this to myself. Are you abandoning me?" I asked feeling hurt. There was a lump in my throat.
"No. Of course not. But you can't see a future with me, Evelyn."
"Eric, don't. Don't do this. Not now," I whispered desperately. I couldn't take it. I didn't want to cry. I was shaken up from what had happened last night.
"Okay. I shouldn't have. Don't cry," Eric said wiping away a tear that trickled down my cheek. I nodded swallowing the lump in my throat. Eric leaned down and kissed me. My hands found their way to his hair. He kissed me sweetly but firmly.
"Please don't leave me," I mumbled as he broke the kiss.
"I won't ever mention it again," Eric said squeezing my arm. I closed my eyes, sighing.
It had been two days since the event that occurred. I closed the book I was reading just as I heard the front door open. I placed it on the table and rushed downstairs. I would never get used to the large staircase.
I saw Eric closing the front door. He had not been around and I hadn't seen him all day.
"Eric!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around his neck. Eric smiled and then kissed me slowly.
"Where have you been?" I asked in a curious voice.
"I met Shane and I had some other work," he replied his arms around my waist.
"How is Shane?"
"He's fine," Eric said letting go of me. We walked to the kitchen. I didn't know whether to tell him about what was going on inside my head. I wanted to talk to him about my problem. He would probably get mad.
"Something's bothering you," Eric said. I was looking out of the window. I looked back at him.
"What? No...," I lied trying not to meet his gaze.
"Tell me," Eric said coming closer towards me. He stood in front of me, watching me intently.
"I-well..I was thinking about the other night. You said there's no cure...."I stopped when I saw Eric's expression change. He was angry, I could tell but he didn't show it.
"Eric, I'm confused and scared. What do we do? What if I try to kill myself? Or you?" I asked fear lacing my tone.
"You won't try to kill yourself," Eric said calmly.
"Why don't you get it? Why do you want me to..to feel all this pain? Guilt?" I asked irritated. I was feeling annoyed and about to burst.
"I don't mean that. Just try to calm down," Eric said almost surprised.
"No! You don't understand do you? You never do!" I said aggressively.
"And so Shane does? Evelyn..you need to understand my situation," he said softly.
"No. I don't want to do anything. Just..," I exclaimed throwing my hands in the air. My hands were shaking slightly. I turned to leave but Eric caught my hand.
"Where are you going?" he asked his eyes, searching.
"Home," I said jerking away his hand.
Breathing heavily, I quickly walked to the front door. As I opened it I was welcomed by a blast of cold air. Ignoring it, I ran down along the path and then into my house. I didn't dare look back. I was welcomed by silence as I opened the front door. I knew I shouldn't have burst out but I couldn't help it.
I went to have a long shower, trying to block everything out. As I came back from the shower, I slipped on fresh clothes. I was walking slowly and I had a massive headache. After dinner, I found some sleeping pills in my drawer.
I didn't really take sleeping pills but had taken them once or twice. I could take an overdose. Eric would never really listen to me.
No I can't do this.
I put them back into the drawer. I went to my bed and lied down.
------------------ ---------
I could hear a beeping sound as I slowly opened my eyes. I was alone in my room. My senses were confused. I wasn't in my room, that I was sure about. There was a bright light shining on me. It was quiet except for two voices coming from outside. I didn't know how I had gotten here.
"How are you feeling now?" a female voice came. I could barely concentrate. The voice was of a blonde female in a white coat who has leaning over me. I tried to sit up but I was forced down again.
"You should get some rest," she said slowly. She was a doctor.
What is happening?
"Why am I here?" I asked my eyes darting around the room. There were needles in my arms. And the beeping noise could still be heard.
"You're going to be okay. Your boyfriend brought you here. He's not here but he'll be back," she said smiling a little. She placed hand on my forehead.
"What happened?" I asked looking around.
"You might not remember for a while. You'll feel drowsy. But I'm sure you'll be fine. Get some rest," she said. She turned away and left before I could say anything to her.
How am I here?
I remembered fighting with Eric and then going back home.
The sleeping pills...
But I hadn't taken them. I had gone to sleep.
Eric...
The door opened slowly and Shane walked in. I wanted to sit up but I didn't have the strength. I couldn't feel my body. I wanted to move. He came by my side and stood beside the bed.
"Shane...," I managed to whisper. Shane leaned down a little, his fingers in my hair. He stroked them gently as if to calm me.
"Evelyn..what did you do?" he asked sadly, his eyes capturing my attention.
"I don't remember..."
"You took an overdose of sleeping pills. Why?"I looked up at his face. I knew what he was asking me. I didn't remember.
"I don't know...," I whispered lost in his eyes.
"Where's Eric?" I asked slowly.
"He'll be here. Don't worry," he said calmly.
"I need him. I want to go..home."
"Okay. I'll call him. You've been unconscious for the night. Are you okay?" he asked watching me intently.
"Take me home," I said desperately.
"Let's wait for Eric. You rest," he said. I nodded my head slowly. I didn't know when Shane left and I fell asleep.
"You can take her home. I think she's fine now." The voice of the doctor woke me up. I kept my eyes closed. I felt better than before and I could feel my body. I still had a light headache but I was able to concentrate.
"Yes. Thank you for your help, Dr."
Eric...
The door opened and then closed again. I slowly opened my eyes squinting at the bright sun light coming from a window. I saw Eric, wearing a worried expression on his face, standing some way off. I sat up slowly, groaning in the process. My feet were cold.
"Evelyn..careful," Eric said coming by my side and taking my hand. He helped me sit up and the sat down beside me on the bed. He didn't let go of it, his grip firm.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his grey eyes boring into mine. My other hand found his and I clutched at it.
"I'm fine," I managed to say. My voice was soft and almost a whisper.
"Why did you do it? Because of me?"
I don't remember.
"I don't.... remember. I-I swear," I said slowly. I knew he would believe me. With him, I knew he would understand.
"Don't ever do that again," he said firmly but softly. I closed my eyes, leaning backwards, my head resting on the pillow.
"I don't..know. I don't remember anything."
"I believe you," Eric's voice came. The truth was he really did.
"I want to go home," I said taking a deep breath.
"Can you walk?" I nodded my head, opening my eyes.
Eric watched me for a moment and got up. I let go of his left hand and pushed away the sheet which was covering me. I was still in the same clothes I wore after the bath. Eric helped me stand up. For a moment, I truly feared I would not be able to stand up, that my legs would support me.
Eric pulled me to his chest just as I stood up. He was supporting my weight as I breathed into his heavenly scent.
"You're going to be okay," he whispered kissing my hair.
"Let's go," he said. I was amazed to find that my feet still supported me. I slipped my arm into his.
After a brief conversation with the doctor, Eric took me out to his car. There were many ambulances in the parking lot. He helped me into the car. All the time that we silently sat in the car, I kept trying to remember what happened. No matter how hard I thought I couldn't remember a thing.
"You'd better stay with me so I can keep an eye on you. That is if you want," Eric said snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded my head as the car stopped.
"Stay here," he said getting out of the car. He came to my side and helped me out of the car.
"I can walk," I informed him. His house was dark. Eric switched on the lights and I sat down on the couch.
"Do you want something to eat?" he asked standing by my side.
"Not now. Please sit with me," I pleaded. Eric sat down beside me. He pulled me into his arms. I closed my eyes, my arms around his waist.
"I agree with you now," he said slowly. I look up at him questioningly.
"I shouldn't have to make you feel all this guilt and pain. Shane agrees with you. I can't disagree anymore," he said, his eyes meeting mine.
"What? Why are you agreeing now?"
"Because..I don't want you to kill yourself, intentionally or unintentionally. You won't die a painful death," he said. He looked broken.
"What? I don't know..," I whispered at a loss for words.
"I don't want you to die. I don't," he said carefully. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
"I know."
"Whenever you're ready. I don't want to do this. But...."
"You won't forget me right?" I asked tears brimming in my eyes.
"Of course not. It won't hurt. I promise you that," he said hugging me close.
"Oh Eric..," I almost sobbed.
I closed my eyes. I couldn't believe he had agreed. I was going to die twice. If I had to die then I would rather have Eric do it. I trusted him with my life. I knew he would not hurt me. I believed him. Now that I finally knew I was going to die. It was all starting to come back to me. I'd never appreciated life before. I had so many dreams and plans. All of them had never been fulfilled. All the people I had met in life. I would never regret meeting them.
Derek...
I wished I could see him once. I wanted to apologize. After all what he had done I still wanted to see him.
After all I was going to die.
I thought about my high school best friend and her brother, Luke. Luke was the one boy I really liked before I truly fell for Derek. When I was in high school we were together but then things just didn't work out. I'd like to meet him once. Meeting normal people. There were so many things I wanted to do.
I don't have much time.
"Eric?" I opened my eyes. Eric looked down at me, calmly. He pushed a strand of hair away from my face.
"Yes?" he asked kissing my forehead. I tried to keep my tears back.
"Do you mind if I meet a friend?" my voice was almost a whisper, hoarse.
"I don't mind. Take your time," he said smiling reassuringly at me.
-------------------------------------------
I found my phone in Eric's room. As Eric went to have a bath, I scrolled through the contact list. I went down to the kitchen. I wasn't sure what Eric would say if he knew I was once with Luke.
Would he like me meeting him?
Luke was a really good guy. He was sweet, caring and jolly. He was always funny. It was always fun to have him around me. I was never sure about my feelings for him. I didn't know what he felt about me.
Will he remember me?
I was afraid that he would not recognize me. I couldn't forget him. But he had been the first guy I had completely given myself too. I had given him my virginity when I was seventeen. But it wasn't long
after I had met Derek. I had spent two years with him and then he had left.
Calling an ex boyfriend? Interesting..
I quickly dialed the number. I hoped it would be him.
"Hello?" that one voice brought so many memories back. I was so nervous that I almost forgot to speak.
"Hi. Luke?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"Yes and you are?" the voice was unsure but Luke's all right.
"Luke..it's me. Evelyn. Evelyn Carter." I said nervously.
Oh please remember me.
"Evelyn? Is that really you?" Luke asked surprised. I had called him after three years he was supposed to be surprised. Memories of high school were replaying through my mind.
"Luke..how are you? It's been so long," I said excitedly. I was feeling so happy.
"I'm good. Where have you been? Are you okay?" he asked, curious. I smiled to myself.
"I was busy. I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls in the past three years. I'm so sorry. I thought you would have forgotten me," I said nervously. Luke laughed his carefree laugh.
"How could I forget you? It's so nice to hear your voice again," he said. I couldn't help but want to see him.
"Where are you? I was thinking we could meet up somewhere," I said slowly.
"I'm in Bradford right now. You live in Bradford don't you?" he asked. I knew he was thinking about old times too.
"Yes."
"So how about we meet up tomorrow? I'll pick you up. Amy's here too."
"Oh no. Text me the address. I'll meet you there. I can't wait to see Amy," I said hurriedly.
"I can't wait to see you," Luke said quietly.
"Me too," I said honestly. I knew it wasn't a lie.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asked hopefully.
"Yeah. See you soon," I said. Luke hung up. I sighed thinking about old times. I wished everything was the same as before.
Why did I have to die?
I had to tell Eric. He wasn't saying much. I went back upstairs. Eric was in his room. I walked over to him. He had his eyes closed as I sat down beside him.
"Eric?" I asked slowly watching his face. Eric opened his eyes. His hair were wet from the bath.
"Yes?" he asked reaching up and touching my cheek.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No. Why would I be mad at you?" he asked shaking his head. I shrugged making his fingers brush against my skin.
"Eric..do you mind if I meet a friend tomorrow?" I asked suddenly thinking about Luke.
"I don't mind. I can drop you if you want," he offered. I nodded my head.
"I want to see Rose," I said suddenly. I wondered if I had made a mistake mentioning her. Eric raised an eyebrow.
"Why?" he asked carelessly.
"I want to know how she died. I know I'm being a bit..pushy," I said averting my gaze.
"Oh..well I don't like to revisit that part of my past. But for you I can try," he said sitting up beside me.
"No, no. If you don't want too then it's okay," I said hurriedly. I had to respect his privacy.
Eric placed his arms on my shoulders. I knew what to do. He closed his eyes, concentrating hard. It wasn't minutes before I was feeling light headed.
Eric was standing in a large and dark room. There was no other sound except for a woman's hitched breathing. There was another man with red hair who was standing before Eric and the woman was behind Eric. He had his arm protecting her. She was clutching at his arm but she had an intense glare.
"Let her go. She didn't do anything," Eric said in a firm tone. His eyes were filled with hatred for the man before him.
"She cheated on me!" the man shouted.
"I never loved you! You pathetic bastard," the woman said in angry tone. She had blue eyes with blonde hair that added to her beauty. She was tall than most girls are. She was like an angel from heaven.
"I will kill you right now!" the man said in a frustrated tone. He had a gun in his hand which he was pointing at her.
"You will not do anything," Eric growled at him. Suddenly there was a groan and the man went flying. He crashed into the wall and then fell to the floor.
He hadn't let go of his gun. Before anyone could react. There was the sound of a bullet being fired. It didn't hit Eric but the woman behind him. There was a painful scream from the woman. Her eyes bulged out in horror, blood sprouting from her chest. Eric caught hold of her. He seemed to be saying something but his words were muffled. He bent down with her in his arms.
"You're going to be fine, Rose," Eric said desperately. There were tears in his eyes which could clearly be seen.
The other man had disappeared and his place on the floor was empty.
"You..have to let..me go," Rose whispered. Her breathing was irregular.
"No, no, no. You have to live for me. I can't...," Eric said.
"I've lost... too much blood. Go," Rose said between breaths.
"You can't die. No I won't let you die."Eric's expression was one of pain.
"No..go. I don't..want you to-to watch me die," she whispered grabbing his hand. He kissed her hand.
"No. I'm not leaving. Come on. You have to-" Eric started to protest again. He was the image of a broken man.
"No. Take this necklace...give it... to her." She said exposing her neck.
There was beautiful silver necklace around her neck. A single ruby shone in its middle. Eric looked down at her neck in wonder.
"You'll know..who to-to give to. Go," she said desperately. Eric's eyes met her eyes again.
"I can't let you die. You mean so much to me. I can't..," he pleaded again.
"I love you, Eric." Tears were dripping from her eyes but she was acting brave.
"Rose, I-" Eric started but rose's eyes were closed.
"Rose?" he asked desperately.
"No, no, no, no. You can't leave me...." A tear trickled down his cheek. He was looking down at her helplessly.
I gasped, my legs shaking as everything became normal. Eric's face was expressionless. He pulled me into his embrace and I hugged him tightly. It hurt me a little to think that he had once loved someone so much. Someone who was not me. But that was a long time and right now he was with me. I relaxed a little.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered remembering the woman's state.
"She knew about you. She could see the future," Eric said his arms around my back. I could feel the heat from his body.
"I wish she was alive," I said sympathetically. Eric looked down at me.
"Now you know why I don't want to let you go," he said firmly and softly. I nodded my head staring up at him.
Then he kissed me.
Author's Note: I don't write mature stuff so I'm going to be leaving the rest to imagination, sorry.
Please do leave feedback. Once again the part in italics is Eric's memory of how his former love Rose died.
Happy Reading!