His Dark Side

His Dark Side

31 Part Story 21.7K Reads 1.1K Votes
Rahnia By RahniaForever Updated Oct 23, 2015

Evelyn Carter is a lonely, self centered girl but the loneliness doesn’t bother her, the helpless girl in her dreams does. When she befriends a gorgeous stranger her life will change forever. But despite the stranger’s charm there is something else about him that she just can’t figure out. 
    
    On the other hand, Eric Clarke has lots of secrets he keeps to himself. He stays quiet and hidden. No one really knows who he is, all they know is his name. He doesn’t like socializing but that will have to change when one day he finds Evelyn Carter at his door step. She is determined to find the hidden secrets of his mysterious past.
     
    But Eric Clarke is determined not to reveal His Dark Side.

purpleroads123 purpleroads123 Oct 05, 2015 12:03AM
I thought you worked up the suspenseful atmosphere of the prologue very well; however, I don't know because a lot of stories begin with a dream and it's kind of cliche. If possible I would suggest another way to introduce your story. Also you had some awkward phrasing.
MarilynKing6 MarilynKing6 Sep 28, 2015 08:02PM
This is an excellent beginning. Really enjoyed the mystery. vtd
Temptation22 Temptation22 Sep 21, 2015 04:18PM
Very mysterious, this chapter is and I love it. I kind of figured at the end it she was going to see him. I love the feeling the prologue gave me,  spooked me a little.
10SimpleGray 10SimpleGray Sep 05, 2015 03:08AM
I like your short descriptions on things because it is clear that you try to make the reader visualise things very easily. I think you have a very good plot going on in your head, and I can't wait to start reading. This was a simple chapter that really engaged the reader. Good job.
WilhelmYork WilhelmYork Sep 04, 2015 01:40AM
I like where this is going... Very interested in the neighbor
MariquaCoffin MariquaCoffin Aug 27, 2015 03:10PM
Simple structure yet unique plot. I can't wait till I read the rest of the chapters :)