Harry's townhouse looked like an advertisement for a real estate company. It was nestled in a line of other townhouses on a picturesque street. His was three narrow stories and made entirely of white bricks. There were two white columns reminiscent of ancient Rome accenting the black front door. A black iron gate created a small perimeter around the front of the townhouse. Its purpose was to separate his property from the public walkway.
We walked through the iron gate and I stared up at the handsome townhouse front as Harry secured the gate behind us. There was a brass number 9 placed on the front of one of the columns indicating the street address of Harry's townhouse. I also noticed a balcony extending from the third floor.
Harry stopped me as we started up the stairs toward the front door. He pointed to the neighboring townhouse. "That house is owned by the editor of a fashion magazine. She throws these lavish parties I've never been invited to."
"Really?"
"And that one," Harry turned to point to the house on the other side of his own. "Is owned by a film director. He's had films at Sundance and Cannes Film Festivals. He's retired now. A bit odd, that one. He walks his cat." I giggled as Harry unlocked his front door and led me inside.
We were greeted with a set of stairs on the immediate left. Harry showed me around the first floor. There was a warm living room with oversized sofas positioned around a fireplace and a television over the mantelpiece. There were bookshelves filled with books and photos on either side of the fireplace.
The rest of the house had equal amounts of coziness and charm. I saw the kitchen, bathrooms, guest rooms, and eventually Harry's bedroom. Every room was filled with rich woods and intricate fabrics likely not chosen by Harry, but beautiful nonetheless.
"Wow," I muttered.
"No memory of the place?"
"Nope," I shook my head. I sat on a sofa in the living room.
"I'll run upstairs and change. I'll take your bag to my room." Harry ran up the stairs and I heard a door open and close.
I was in awe of his townhouse. It was much larger than my flat. His house was in a different part of the city where women wore floor-length fur coats. My building was in a neighborhood where women wore thrift store finds.
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs echoed through the open townhouse. I turned my head to see Harry step off the last stair. He wore black jeans and a white Henley shirt. He had black boots on as well. He pulled a black wool coat over his arms and walked over to me.
"It's freezing outside, are you sure you want to go for a walk?"
"Yes," I smiled.
"Then let's go." As we passed the coat closet by the front door, Harry grabbed a scarf and pulled it around his neck.
Harry locked the door behind us as we made our way onto the front steps of his house. The air was bitterly cold and I immediately felt my body stiffen as a breeze blew by. Harry let out a long breath and watched intently as steam crept from his lips. I watched as the silvery-gray vapor rolled in every direction before it blended with freezing air.
"The park is just a block this way," Harry started for the end of the street.
I kept my eye out for photographers, but with the temperature dropping and snow falling, nobody was out but us. Harry was silent as we walked, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat. His eyes were fixed on the entrance to the park just ahead.
"When it's hot out, we wake up in the middle of the night and take a walk through this park," Harry explained as we crossed under an archway that named the park. "We walk really slowly and you always make me sing."
It occurred to me that I had yet to hear Harry sing since the accident. Not even the smallest of melodies had escaped his lips. "We walk in the middle of the night?"
"Sounds crazy, I know. The first time we did it, it was your idea. It was late at night and strangely hot out. You woke me up and begged me to go outside with you. We ended up at this park and I sat on a bench with you. We were out for hours."
We walked in silence for a few minutes. The pathway had been cleared of snow and little pellets of ice melt had been sprinkled around. Snow was piling up on the grass throughout the park and each tree branch was nearly entirely covered with snow. The park was beautiful; I had missed the snow.
"What are you doing?" I looked over at Harry. His head was tipped back and his tongue was sticking out. He was moving his head back and forth.
"Trying to catch a snowflake on my tongue!" We stopped our slow stroll so I could laugh at Harry. "You try it."
I gave him a cocky smirk as I tilted my head back and watched a large, fluffy snowflake fall just above my face. I moved a little to the right and felt something cold land on my tongue before disappearing. "Easy!"
"You are always so humble," he pouted. "It's one of the things I like about you."
"What do you like about me?" The question came out teasing and innocent, but what he couldn't hear from my tone was the curiosity. I had been wondering what drew Harry to me all along. Why would an international star want anything to do with a girl like me?
"A million different things." Harry looked over and his features softened. The corners of his mouth pulled into a subtle smile and his eyes looked at me thoughtfully.
"Like what?" I pressed.
I felt Harry's warm hand engulf mine. His grip was consciously tight. The gesture wasn't carelessly romantic like many handholds often were. This one held urgency like he was convincing me of his affection.
"The very first thing I liked about you was how fearless you are."
"I am not fearless."
He chuckled. "But you are. You aren't afraid to give your opinion on anything. I've never had to guess how you feel about anything."
"You like that I'm opinionated?"
"I like that you are fearless with your opinions. The more I got to know you, the more I got to know your heart. You heart is another thing I like about you. You are so caring about everyone. You never take advantage of anyone. I love your sense of humor. We have had the greatest laughs together. You are sarcastic and witty and have the most adorable laugh."
I couldn't help but laugh right then. "Adorable?"
"The most adorable," he leaned in and flashed a big smile.
"I love your drive. You are constantly working on some new idea. I love your hair."
"You go from talking about my character to my hair?" I giggled.
"I just really love your hair. I told you I love a million things about you and your hair just so happens to be one of the million."
We walked around the park for a very long time. Harry listed dozens of things he liked about me. Some were silly, but most were very sweet. His kindness was overwhelming. He named things he loved about me that I had always been self-conscious about. The way he saw me was the way ever girl wanted to be seen.
"You are freezing," Harry observed as he squeezed my hand a little tighter.
"It's cold out," I noted.
"Do you want to go back?"
"No," I shook my head. "I want to stay out a little longer. I feel like I can finally breathe."
Harry smiled knowingly. He let go of my hand and reached up, pulling the scarf from around his neck. In an instant, he had put it around mine. He wrapped the scarf around me twice and smiled at his handiwork. "There."
"Thanks," I touched the soft cashmere.
He took my hand back and continued walking. "There's a photographer up here. Don't worry about him."
Standing below a large tree was a man with a big camera held in front of his face. As soon as I saw him, I diverted my eyes and scanned a snowy stretch of grass on the left of the path. It took all I had not to stare at the man with the camera. Harry kept walking normally. I kept in step with him as we followed the winding path around the park.
"You know," I began slowly after several minutes in silence. "I'm really putting a lot of trust in you here. I don't remember anything and when I ask for details, I have to know you're telling the truth. I have to believe that you aren't taking advantage of me."
Harry stopped walking and pulled me to a stop beside him. He took both of my hands and held me in front of him. "I would never take advantage of you. You have to believe me. I—" Harry's voice trailed off and he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"You?"
"I just need you to trust me." His voice was soft and desperate.
"I do," I whispered. I realized how close Harry had gotten.
"Good," he leaned down and I could hear his low, shaky breath.
Harry's eyes had an intensified green color as they searched mine. His hands suddenly felt even warmer and his cheeks had turned a lighter shade of pink. With his face so close to mine, I could feel my own heart rate quicken. Suddenly, Harry's hands moved. One gripped my waist and the other cupped my face with the tips of his fingers tangling in my hair. He pulled me toward him, but maintained a distance between our bodies. His eyes darted between my eyes and my lips. His tongue swept across his bottom lip quickly. I didn't have time to take a full breath before Harry's lips were pressed against my own. The kiss lasted but a moment with his lips retreating as soon as they had met mine.
My eyes opened and Harry took his hands from my body. His eyes had returned to a normal shade of green and his lips were spread into a gentle smile. "Have you had enough of the cold?"
"I think so." The kiss had raised my temperature and I hadn't even noticed the bitter wind that had picked up or the snow that was falling at a much faster pace.
____________
We got back to Harry's townhouse well after the sun finally set. I stood behind Harry as he fumbled with his keys in the door. I bounced on my feet, holding my hands together to try to warm them up. "Hurry!" I laughed.
"I'm trying," he huffed.
He finally got the door open and let me inside first. The heat had been left on and the house was completely warm. I pulled Harry's scarf from around my neck and hung it on the doorknob to the coat closet. Harry took my coat and hung it beside his in the closet. I took my hat off and shook out my hair.
"I'll make tea. You can go up and change your clothes."
"Okay," I agreed.
It was my first time being in Harry's room in his townhouse since the incident and I took my time looking around at everything. There were more framed photos sitting on his dresser of the two of us and of him with his band-mates. Everyone looked so happy. I smiled as I saw a particular picture of the two of us. It was a candid shot; we were smiling and laughing as though we had just heard the best joke.
I left my cold jeans and cardigan on the edge of the bed and slipped into athletic shorts and an oversized t-shirt. I turned to leave the room when something caught my eye on Harry's bedside table. There were two small squares of cardstock with handwriting on each. One square had what I assumed to be Harry's handwriting and the other had mine. I picked up the squares and read over each twice.
"Harry?" I made my way to the kitchen to see him standing over two cups of tea. He was adding honey to one cup.
"Yes, love?"
"What are these?" I held up the two squares of cardstock to him.
Harry looked at the items in my hand before his facial features softened and he smiled. He put the honey down and walked around the counter. He pushed a cup of tea to me and took the cardstock squares out of my hand. "The boys and I had a performance in New York City on Near Year's Eve. You flew out to meet us there. After the performance, we went to a massive party. They handed out these cardstock squares and told us to write our New Year's resolutions down."
He set the squares down on the counter side by side so we could read them together. "Yours says, 'My New Year's resolution is to keep it simple. I want to spend more time appreciating the experiences and relationships I have.'" I read quietly.
"And yours says, 'My New Year's resolution is to take chances with the people I love,'" he read mine to me.
Later that night, I went up to bed with Harry. As he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I climbed between the sheets and thought about what I had declared as my New Year's resolution. As some twist of fate would have it, I would definitely be taking chances with the people I love because of my amnesia. There was no conscious resolution about it.
Harry got in bed beside me. He knew I enjoyed our kiss, but he still respected my apprehension about things moving too quickly and he kept his distance as we lay in bed. Getting used to having him in my life was going to be difficult. I was going to have to take a chance.
I rolled over in bed and my back was to Harry. Half my face was pressed into the pillow and I was immediately consumed by a familiar scent. It was my perfume. I had apparently been here days ago and my scent was still on his sheets. Just as I was thinking how strange it was that I couldn't remember being in Harry's townhouse before, I felt a warm hand on my arm. Harry's fingers moved from my elbow to my shoulder. "Goodnight, sweetheart."
____________
I stared at my phone screen in disbelief. I wasn't prepared for this. I didn't know what to say. I swallowed hard and suddenly became aware that the phone rung several times and if I didn't answer quickly, I would miss the call. I took one last glance at the name printed across the screen before answering.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Harry." His voice was even lower over the phone.
"Hi, Harry." I was sure he was cancelling our plans. He had invited me to dinner at some new restaurant downtown. He had called me five days ago to make the date. Tonight was the night we were supposed to go. We had already made all of the arrangements so the only explanation for the call was to cancel. I felt my heart rate quicken as I waited for his words.
"I know we had plans tonight, but something has come up. I know this is a poor excuse, but my sister is coming to town and I haven't seen her for a while."
"Right, yes, you should see her then." I tried not to show my disappointment. I had been looking forward to spending time with Harry one on one.
"Yeah, so I can't do dinner, but can I still see you just for a bit? Can you meet me around five thirty?"
My heart leapt. I tried to hold back a stutter, "Yes, where do you want to meet?"
"Do you like frozen yogurt?"
"Doesn't everyone?" I joked.
I could hear his impossibly cute laugh on the other line. "I'll text you an address to a frozen yogurt shop. And I want you to show up at the shop at five fifteen. I'll be there at five thirty. Okay?"
I didn't understand why the time difference was necessary, but I agreed to it anyway. Harry and I said our goodbyes before hanging up. I was incredibly excited to see him.
My phone lit up when I got a message from Harry. He sent me the address for the frozen yogurt shop and I realized it was within walking distance of my flat. Once again, he told me to be there earlier than him.
The sun was warm as I walked to the shop. A lot of people were on the streets that afternoon. Everyone walked along normally and I felt like the butterflies in my stomach were going to cause me to burst. I couldn't possibly feel any more anxious about seeing Harry than I was at that moment.
I opened the door to enter the yogurt shop and found a few people sitting at tables eating frozen yogurt leisurely. The workers in the shop barely noticed when I sat at a table alone and pulled my phone out to entertain myself as I waited for Harry to show up. I scrolled through unread emails and glanced up at the door every few moments to see if he was coming. My hands were shaking and I was confident that everyone in the shop could hear my heart beat.
My first indication that Harry had arrived was the hordes of people gathering along the front of the building. It wasn't long before photographers were taking pictures and the incessant screaming of teenage girls was audible. I watched as a bodyguard opened the door and Harry entered the shop.
I stood up and Harry walked toward me. He had slightly heavier breathing than normal from taking on the crowd. He ran his hand through his hair and smiled a wide smile. I wasn't sure what his greeting would be, but his outstretched arms served as my answer. I walked into his arms and they instantly wrapped around me. I wrapped mine around him as well.
"I'm sorry I don't have the time for dinner. But I absolutely had to see you today," he said quietly so only I could hear. He pulled back and looked at me for a response.
"Yeah I'm happy we could meet up." His face changed as though he was expecting a different reaction. I swallowed hard and tried to shake the nervousness, "I'm happy I could see you."
That made his face light up. "Shall we get frozen yogurt?"
We filled cups with frozen yogurt and toppings. I made fun of Harry for getting so many flavors and he called me boring for only getting one. At the counter, he politely paid for both and I followed him to a table in the corner.
Because of the bodyguard at the door, no one could enter the shop. The other customers sitting around the shop didn't seem to care about Harry's presence. They continued to eat their yogurt and talk quietly. I, on the other hand, was staring at the immense crowd that had not left the block outside the shop. They were screaming and taking photos of Harry and me through the windows. It was slightly overwhelming.
"So I asked you to come here earlier than me for a reason. If I told you five thirty, you would have arrived at the same time as me. You probably couldn't even get in the shop if you tried." He nodded his head toward the windows.
He sent me early so I could avoid the crowd. "That makes sense," I took a bite of the frozen yogurt.
Surprisingly, nothing about our encounter was awkward. Conversation flowed easily. Harry was charming and funny and he had the ability to settle my nerves.
Harry looked at my wristwatch and his eyes went wide. "Is that the time?"
"Yeah," I glanced at my watch as well.
"I've got to go. I have to meet my sister." He stood up.
"Right," I muttered as I stood up.
Harry threw our empty cups away and came back to the table where I was standing. "I'm sorry I have to leave in such a rush."
"It's okay," I nodded reassuringly.
He leaned in and kissed my cheek quickly. It felt like a formality, but it still sent shivers down my spine when his lips touched me. "Sorry about the short notice, but I had a great time."
"Me too. Thanks for the date."
Harry furrowed is eyebrows and took a few steps backward toward the door. "Oh, this wasn't a date. I don't consider getting frozen yogurt a date."
"Oh." I felt my face redden immediately. Of course. This wasn't a date to Harry. The hug, the kiss on the cheek, the buying yogurt for me was platonic. I felt mortified. I wanted to leave. I wanted to hide.
Harry got to the door and turned to me. His iconic smirk played on his lips. "Our real first date will be this Friday so please don't make plans." He sent me a wink.
I didn't have time to respond before he opened the door and was surrounded by bodyguards. I watched through the window as he disappeared down the street and into a dark SUV.
____________
I sat straight up. I blinked a few times and looked around. I realized I was in bed. Lying beside me was a sleeping Harry Styles. I gasped when I saw the mess of curly brown hair. My dream had been so vivid. It was like it really happened.
"Hey," Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes. His voice was deepened from sleep. He leaned over and turned his bedside lamp on. "What's the matter? Do you need something?"
"Harry," I was breathing quickly. "I just had the strangest dream."
"What was it?"
"You asked me to dinner, but you cancelled because you were meeting your sister. You invited me to get frozen yogurt before you met her. And then I thanked you for the date and you said—"
"I said, 'This wasn't a date. I don't consider frozen yogurt a date.' Then I asked you to dinner later in the week." Harry finished my thought for me completely.
"Yes," I breathed. "How did you know?"
Harry looked like he was going to get emotional for a moment. He blinked a few times slowly and then his lips moved into the most endearing smile. "That really happened. You remembered."
Excitement filled me and I let out a laugh. The laughing turned into tears. I couldn't hold back the emotions and I didn't even think of hiding them from Harry. This was a big moment. I had so much confusion and so much pain from my memory loss. Having just a sliver of my memory back meant so much to me. It alleviated so much of the tension I had been carrying around.
A few tears fell from my face and I wiped them with the back of my hand. "I remembered."
Harry pushed my hair out of my face and leaned in. His lips found mine and he shifted for a better angle. He moved them a little to elicit movement from my lips. I submitted to his unspoken request and he hummed into the kiss before pulling away. He knew my limits.
"I knew it would only be a matter of time," he whispered into my ear.
"Thanks for being patient even when I wasn't," I kissed Harry's cheek softly.
"Of course." Harry pulled back and turned the lamp off. The room was filled with darkness again. "Let's get some sleep, yeah?"
"Yeah."
We both sank back down into the bed and Harry moved nearer to me than he had been before. After a few silent moments, I scooted until I was lying against him. I didn't need to be in his arms or have his chest to my back. I just needed to be touching him. Just for now.
My lone memory of being with Harry was of just after I met him. Even though my memory didn't reveal to me how close we had been before, I had never felt closer to Harry. At least now, I had a small memory to hold onto. I now had something to remind me of why I was doing all of this.