Greg Laswell - Comes and Goes (Song For Chapter)
A short chapter, mainly evolved around Keane!
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Chapter 18 - I'm So Sorry
It was as if a huge weight had been lifted when Noah and I walked through Talina's door, we were pounced on and given hugs. I tried to smile, I tried to interact and I tried not to wince. I really did try, but then I couldn't stand it any longer, I headed for the bedroom and crashed on the bed, pulling off my sweat soaked t-shirt and shorts and got under the covers,
"Keane" Tayte said appearing,
"Go..." I said teeth chattering, "I don't...need you to see me like this"
"Tough. I'm going to be right next to you and so is everyone else. I told you Keane and I keep telling you. I've got you and I'm going nowhere. You need me to keep you sane, keep you from trouble, because from the looks of your face and body, I'd say your brain wasn't controlling what was coming out of your mouth" I pulled the sheets up and tangled my legs around them. Tayte went into the bathroom and came back with a wet towel just as Noah, Angelo and Arii came in, he put it on my forehead,
"Doesn't it always" I mumbled,
"You can do this you know right?"
"I can't...I need it. Just one more shot and then that's it...please" I pleaded,
"You don't need it Keane" Noah said,
"I do...just...just one more"
"I've never met a stronger person than you Keane, than my older brother and if I'm ever half the person you are then I will be happy" Arii said kissing my sweaty forehead, I took her hand and squeezed it,
"You're already stronger than me Arii"
"No I'm not, but like I said, I hope one day I will be," she then left the room. I shut my eyes. It was going to be a long couple of days.
Dream:
I was walking along an empty street, a street that looked so familiar. I should know this street, I thought, I've been here before. It was dark, so very dark and it was cold, so very cold, the street lights were cracked and broken. I was in complete darkness, but suddenly there was a light and it was right ahead of me and it was getting closer, it was getting brighter,
"KEANE" Someone shrieked as the light was upon me; I shut my eyes, as I felt hands grab me.
When I reopened my eyes I was in a dimly lit room, the air full of stale cigarette smoke, I coughed as the smoke touched my lungs and hit my nose. I tried to sit up but found my ankles chained to the bottom of the bed, I craned my neck to the left and then the right to find my wrists also cuffed. I was spread eagle on the bed in only my shorts and I was not going anywhere,
"It's time you suffered my boy. Time you saw what you are doing to yourself" A voice said. I didn't see, or feel, or hear the room filling up with water until it was lapping at my feet on the bed; I struggled but couldn't get free. The water was ice cold and it attacked my skin as it rose higher and higher, sending goose bumps across my wet skin. I craned my neck up to the ceiling trying to take in air as the water rose above my face, as the water rose above my body, until I was submerged. I shook and thrashed at the chains, but they wouldn't budge, I was stuck there and I was going to die,
"Nooooo" I screamed, as water filled my lungs and I blacked out.
"Are you okay? Hello, are you okay?" I opened my eyes and looked up at a face, but the face wasn't clear, it was fuzzy, blurry, distorted, "Are you okay?" I couldn't speak, so I nodded, "Are you sure?You look like you need a hospital" I looked down and noticed my naked torso covered in blood, as were my hands,
"I'm...I'm fine" I said, finally finding my voice, standing up, nearly stumbling over, not even noticing that the person had disappeared. I was walking along a train track, looking at my blood covered shaky hands, hearing voices and sounds all around me, I began to run, heart pounding, blood pumping.
Where was I?
What was happening?
"Keep running my boy, just keep running" A voice said.
I span round to nothing, then as I turned back, I tripped and fell face first onto the tracks. The next thing I knew I was tied to the tracks on my back. I could hear a distance train in the background. The sky darkened and rain began to fall, droplets propelling down and hitting my body like bullets,
"HELP" I shouted, "HELP," the train was fast approaching, I could feel the sweat mixed with blood and then rain trickling down my body, "HELP" I screamed, going hoarse as the train came, as the train came...I held my breath and shut my eyes as the train crashed over me, the noise was deafening and I was sure that was it, then, then I heard;
"Keane help us" That was Arii's voice, surprisingly I sat up and looked around, I was no longer on a track, but in an old rundown carpark, I stood up, my hands were still soaked in blood, I tried to wipe it away but it wouldn't disappear, "Keane" I looked up, 3 men with white masks covering their faces were holding Tayte, Noah and Arii, their clothes torn and full of blood stains,
"Let them go" I said,
"Or what?"
"I'll kill you," the masks laughed, and then someone else appeared, their eyes black and face torn up,
"Kill us! You're killing yourself Keane, your killing yourself and by doing so you're killing your family also,"
A gunshot rang out, BANG, then a cry, I saw Tayte fall limply to the ground.
No, this wasn't happening!
"TAYTE" I screamed, going to run towards him, but my legs wouldn't move, it was like they were cemented to the ground, like hands had come up from the ground and were holding me down, making me suffer, Arii and Noah were crying, eyes wide and horrified.
I felt so helpless and it was killing me!
"You're doing this Keane; you can't live your life craving danger"
BANG. Noah's body collided to the ground,
"NOAH" I cried, "STOP, PLEASE STOP"
Oh shit, Oh shit!
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" Arii cried,
"You're killing yourself and your killing them too"
BANG
"NOOOO" I was crying now, I was shaking, I couldn't look at the 3 dead bodies, my brothers and sister, "I'm not...this isn't real...this isn't happening"
"You need to think about your actions Keane. You are killing not just yourself, you are killing everyone else and someday, this will happen"
The gun was turned to me as a BANG shot out.
I sat up screaming, arms grabbed me and I lashed out, I kept fighting and kicking and screaming, until I let my body go limp, I was sobbing now,
"Sssh, I've got you Keane you're okay, you're okay, we're here, we've got you" Tayte's voice said,
"T...Tayte" I said softly, looking up into his eyes,
"I've got you brother, it's okay" I clutched onto him,
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I don't mean. I'm sorry, I'll change. I promise I'll change. I'm sorry"
"Hey, Keane. Sssh, don't worry, I know, it's okay" 4 figures then appeared in the doorway,
"Is he okay?" Noah asked,
"Yes, he'll be fine. He'll be fine" Tayte said,
"Do you need anything?" Talina said,
"Can you get me a glass of water for him please" Tayte said, I was still mumbling, 'I'm sorry' as he held me, stroking my hair.
"Of course" Talina darted off,
"Was it a dream?" Arii asked,
"I think so, I was watching him the whole time, but didn't want to wake him. He was shaking and thrashing around, muttering things"
"It's a withdrawal side effect, it's completely normal. He's doing well; I've seen some people get very aggressive to get what they want. Keane's fighting, he really is and I know we're only at the beginning, but this is great start" Angelo said, as Talina came back in and handed Tayte the glass,
"Thanks," I took the glass from him, hands shaking, spilling some, he steadied my hand and I took a few sips,
"Go...to bed. I'll be fine" I said softly, "I love you all" Noah and Arii's eyes welled up,
"We love you too" They replied,
"Don't worry. I'm in...safe hands" I said, shutting my eyes. The door shut again after 5 minutes and I still hadn't moved from Tayte's arms,
"You know if you wanted to tell me about the nightmare then I'm here to listen and if you didn't. I'm still here to listen"
"Maybe on the other side" I said, Tayte went to move, "Don't go" I said,
"I'm not going anywhere; I was just getting you a wet cloth"
"Stay please. I feel much stronger with you next to me" I said, teeth chattering, I clenched my shaking hands into fists,
"If you're gay for me you can just say" He teased, I couldn't help but smile,
"You're gay for me just as much as I'm gay for you" I said,
"I'm not going to deny that" He said, "I love you Keane"
"I love you too"
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Dark times :(
Things can only get better right?
Love GTRx
Copyright © Georgia T R Wing