To say that I felt like shit would have been an understatement.
The words Luke said to me and the way he looked at me replayed in my head for the millionth time as I sat in bed, staring at the wall in front of me without any emotion. I couldn't believe I did this to him, I couldn't believe I fucked up for real.
The vibration of my phone made me break my stare and I looked at the blinking screen that showed me a message from Ashton.
Ash: I'll pick you up in twenty minutes, you'll come with us to the aftershow party. I need to talk to you x
I immediately replied, telling him that I would in no way attend the party. No one could make me leave my bed tonight, my heart was just breaking again at the bare thought of seeing Luke's face.
Ash: Get dressed, put some make-up on and be ready when I come. I will pull you out of your room if necessary. X
I didn't know what to reply so I just sighed loudly and got out of bed. I really didn't know what to do, this night was destined to be horrible. Not even 5 hours ago I made the nicest boy I'd ever met cry because I was a selfish, stupid bitch and now I was supposed to go to a party where he was probably getting drunk.
Ashton didn't come by any second later. Exactly twenty minutes after his text lit up my phone he approached my door and hammered against it. I had put on a band shirt and black skinny jeans along with my converse, not in the mood for a fancy outfit. Didn't work out that well the last time anyway.
"Oh, I was already about to tackle you out of bed. Nice to see you all ready to go." Ashton smiled, but I could see in his eyes that he was sad, too.
"Ashton, why can't we just stay here and talk. I can't... I can't see him."
"Freya, you need to fix this. Tonight. We can't have him do this at the other concerts, too."
"Do what?"
"He cried on stage, for fucks sake. He cried while Michael sang wrapped around your finger and ran off stage. It was... it was horrible. We were lucky that the fans didn't see, I have no idea what would have happened if they did. We told them he had an asthma attack."
"Is he okay?" I whispered, tears already prickling in my eyes. "I'm so sorry Ash, I never intended for this to happen, I had no idea he was feeling this much towards me. We only know each other for two weeks now, it's not even possible to like someone in such a short time span! I'm so sorry, I wish I would have never come on tour with you. I fucked up, I fucked everything up. I'm so sorry"
I only noticed I was crying again when Ashton wrapped me in a big hug, stroking my back. My arms were embracing his waist as I tried to stop the few tears that were slipping out of my eyes.
"It's okay, you obviously have a lot going on at the moment. Luke just... he went through a lot, too and I guess he got his hopes up. I will explain this to you someday, or maybe he will. But right now I need you to pick yourself up and go to this party with me and try to talk to him. Please, please fix this. We have three shows in a row the next three days and I need him to concentrate on that."
I nodded and pulled away from him. Even though I knew I couldn't fix it and I also knew I had made the right decision, I had to act as if everything would be okay so they could continue their tour. Ashton was right, they had to put on a good show and Luke needed to be happy and cheerful on stage, it wouldn't be fair to the fans any other way. And I didn't want to be the reason for a horrible time on tour for them, they deserved better.
So I walked next to Ashton and followed him to the taxi that was waiting in front of the hotel, thinking about how I was probably going to fly home anyways after my birthday in five days. Until then I just had to put on a fake smile and act as if nothing happened. I had to pretend that I didn't mean what I said to Luke and I had to swallow down the pain I felt thinking about my birthday. It would be okay, I had suffered enough already to get through this.
The car ride was silent and I was staring out of the window while Ashton was texting someone the whole time. I wanted to go back to my hotel room and cry and fall asleep while listening to sad music, but instead I had to get out of the car and into a club, where a lot of people were dancing and drinking and smoking. Ashton seemed a little bit more relaxed now and I was glad that he did. He had no idea in how much trouble I had brought them, and I didn't know as well.
Ashton led me upstairs to a part of the club that said "VIP only". He quickly talked to the bodyguard that was standing in front of the entrance and only a few seconds later we got in.
This part of the club wasn't half as messy as what we've seen downstairs and I was glad about that. It was still quite big and a lot of people were here, but there was enough space to breathe. We went straight to one of the many booths and I could make out Calum and Michael sitting there, talking to some girls that were with them. They all had half empty drinks in their hands and I desperately wanted to go back to the hotel.
"Freya! Nice to see you here!" Michael smiled, seeming somehow relieved that we sat down next to him. He was already kind of drunk.
"Yeah, very nice." I said, looking around the club in hope to see Luke somewhere. The girls that were sitting with us eyed me suspiciously and I felt super weird in my extremely casual clothes. They all wore short dresses and had nice cleavages and lipstick on and high heels, and Calum seemed to enjoy that. He was flirting with all of them (they were three) as if his life was depending on it.
Michael sighed loudly before waving at a waitress. "Bring us a bottle of tequila and lots of lemons and salt please. And three shot glasses."
I gave him a questioning look as the waitress left only to bring the order a few minutes later.
"Freya, Ashton, let's get drunk" Michael said, filling the three glasses with the tequila.
"No, I'm not going to drink." I said, incredibly annoyed at how this turned out. "I'm here to talk to Luke and then I will leave again."
"Well, honey, better drink something because you won't like what you'll see." Michael chuckled, licking his hand and putting some salt on it.
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my heartbeat rise a little. He just pointed towards the bar, where I finally saw Luke. And he was violently making out with a blonde girl, his hands roaming all over her tiny body, her dress already up to her hips. They were basically about to have sex in the middle of this club and I felt my heart sink.
"Give me the fucking tequila." I whispered, my eyes not leaving the scene that was happening just a few feet away from me.
Ashton looked at me with worried eyes. "Do you want to go back to the hotel?"
"No. Now that I'm here, I'll stay. Now how do I drink this shit with the salt and stuff?" I asked, my voice shaking a little. I tried to stay calm but my eyes wandered to Luke and the girl every two seconds. She was now grinding on him and I was about to throw up.
"You lick your hand a lil and put the salt on there. And before you down your shot you lick it off, then you drink the tequila and afterwards you eat a piece of lemon."
I nodded and followed Michael's instruction, trying not to cough as I felt the liquid burning down my throat. It didn't even taste that bad, the salt and the lemon made it taste quite good even.
"Oh, Calum's getting it, too tonight" Ashton giggled, making both Michael and me look towards the dark haired boy. He was making out with two girls simultaneously, either one sitting on one of his legs. The third girl disappeared at some point and we all didn't notice.
Michael let out a pained laugh as he turned back to us again, filling the glasses once again.
"Freya, we will get so fucking wasted that we can't spell our own names anymore."
***
"What does one cell say when her sister steps on her toe? Mitosis" I giggled, leaning against the wall outside of the club. Michael started laughing very hard as he handed me the cigarette he just lit.
I took a drag and started coughing, but soon after I giggled again. It wasn't even that bad, so I took another one and felt the nicotine hit my head soon after, making me feel even dizzier. And I loved it.
Luke had left with his hands practically glued to the girl's ass and no one saw them for the last 20 minutes, but I didn't care anymore. I was so mad at him, even though it was my fault and I knew it. But he didn't even let me explain, he just ran away. So it was his fault. At least that was what my drunken mind told me.
"Knock knock"
"Who's there" I slurred slightly, giggling again.
"Harry"
"Harry who?"
"Harry up, it's cold" Michael started laughing hysterically at his, really, really bad joke and I joined in, handing him the cigarette back. He took a few drags before throwing it away, gesturing for me to get inside the club again.
We went upstairs to the private area again and walked (more like weaving) to the booth again. Ashton was on the dance floor and Calum left to go back to the hotel with his two girls.
The tequila bottle was nearly empty but it was enough for one more shot for each of us, so Michael poured it into the shot glasses.
"I have an idea" He chuckled, and before I knew it he pushed my hair away from my neck and licked at it before putting some salt on it.
"You have to take a piece of lemon in your mouth." He ordered, and I just giggled and did as he told.
I felt his lips connect to my neck again, gently sucking on it and licking up and down until he had gathered all of the salt. Shivers went down my spine as he swallowed his shot. Everything felt alright tonight. I didn't give a fuck about Luke, I didn't even feel bad thinking about my birthday or about leaving this tour. I felt as if everything was perfect.
And as Michael started putting his lips to mine to get the lemon, I felt even better. I loved the physical contact I had with him, his hand on my thigh, his lips on my neck. It felt right, and I felt myself wanting more. The alcohol had some unknown effect on me. I usually was very bubbly and happy when I was drunk, even though I haven't been a lot until now. I went to some frat parties back in Sydney but I didn't really feel good about underage drinking.
Tonight though, everything was different. And I felt a heat rise between my thighs as I looked at Michael's pink lips, wondering how they would feel where I needed them most.
"Your turn" He said, handing me the salt. I nodded and slid even closer to him, leaving open mouthed kisses on his neck that made him let out a low moan. The sound of him moaning made me even more eager to finally drink this shot.
I quickly put the salt on, licked it off immediately and downed the tequila shot. My eyes wandered up to his, the lemon already in his mouth.
I did the same thing he did with me, but as I finished eating the sour fruit, I quickly removed the skin of the lemon that was still between both our mouths and connected out lips again.
Michael let out another moan when I moved onto his lap, my hands fisting his hair at the back of his head. His hands were grabbing my ass harshly, guiding me in small circles on his crotch.
One of his hands wandered underneath my shirt, pushing under my bra so he could knead my breast while his tongue was entering my mouth, violently roaming around it.
I was so turned on, the alcohol making me totally stop thinking as I grinded down on him. I had to stop kissing his salty lips because there were too many moans escaping my mouth, the heat between my legs nearly unbearable. I could feel Michael's hard on pressing against my throbbing core, so I kissed him once more and got up.
He looked disappointed, his hair a mess and his lips swollen. I had to giggle at this sight.
"Let's go back to the hotel" I said, and his eyes lit up again. He immediately got out of the booth, but before I could head out to leave he was grabbing me by my hips and hugged his arms around me tightly.
His lips found mine again, the kiss full of lust and his hips rocking against mine.
"Michael let's leave or we have to fuck right here, I can't take this anymore" I mumbled against his lips, my hand pressing against his boner. He just let out a moan as a response, and that was enough for me to guide him outside the club so we could get a taxi.
We were lucky enough to see one right in front of the building, someone getting out of it just now.
With Michael pressed against my back I yelled out for the taxi driver who luckily hear us. But as we walked towards the yellow car, I could see Luke was the person that got out of the taxi.
Michael tried to get away from me a little more, but it was hard because he had to hide his boner from Luke. He would kill him if he found out.
"Hey mate, what are you doing here? I thought you left?" Michael asked, obviously not feeling comfortable.
Luke's eyes darted from Michael to me, and I knew he understood what was going on.
"I fucked this one girl and she fell asleep right after so now I'm coming back to get another one." He scoffed, but I saw in his eyes that he was very, very hurt.
"Oh, cool, we're uhm, we're heading back to the hotel because Freya doesn't feel good."
Luke let out a really scary laugh, pushing past us.
"I hope you take good care of her. Or should I say of her pussy?"
And with that he entered the club again, without looking at us even once more.
-
god damnit fruke, why u gotta be so dumb! :-(
also wtf calum
why is everyone hurting each others feelings im cryin