I woke up the next morning with a thumping headache. I didn't remember much of the night before. I turned over in bed to see Alex snoring peacefully next to me. I have a vague image of Josh next to me last night in this bed, was it real? The very thought made my head throb. I closed my eyes and went back into the world of sleep.
*
I awake to a kiss, startling me slightly. I pulled back to see Alex leaning over me, smiling slightly.
"Hey there." He whispered.
"Hey." I said, putting a hand to my head.
"You got pretty wasted last night." He stroked my hair, laughing.
"You don't say?" I smiled.
"Yeah. Josh was really helpful; taking you home and all." He said with an edge of jealousy.
"He took me home?" I sat up quickly.
"Um...yeah? Then he went back to the party and told me. Good guy." Alex shrugged.
"Why didn't you take me home?" I raised an eyebrow.
"I...well...I kind of saw this girl I knew and we were talking for a while. I just thought you were having fun so I didn't, you know, stop you." Alex scratched the back of his neck.
"Oh.." I bit my lip.
"Anyway. I think you should give Josh a ring. He deserves a thanks." Alex got up, walking downstairs.
I fell back on my bed, feeling a range of emotions.
Josh took me home. He obviously helped me in bed. God knows what else he helped me with. I was too drunk to even speak. I only remember speaking to Josh in the bathroom-rather rudely- then going downstairs with Alex where the rounds of drinks kept coming.
Did I...kiss Josh? No. No I couldn't have. But there's always that possibility, isn't there?
I have to call him.
I reached for my phone and rung his number. He picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?" He said tiredly.
"Hey. It's Jen." I said.
"Jen." His voice lightened up, making me smile.
"I just wanted to thank you...for last night. I mean, it's hard to remember, but Alex just told me about what you did. So...thank you." I fiddled with my fingers.
"It's okay. It felt good to help you out after so long." He said quietly, making me blush.
"It felt good...to be helped out after so long. Not that I remember, but I think it did." I said as he laughed.
"We should uh- catch up sometime soon. Not when you're like wasted. But, hey, whatever works." He said. We joined each other in laughter.
"Sure thing." I smiled, feeling suddenly a lot better about everything.
"Sweet. I'll...I'll see ya Jen." He said, obviously happy.
"I'll see ya Josh." I grinned.
We let a comfortable silence pass before hanging up, and I put down the phone with a sigh of relief.
"All good?" Alex popped his head in, and I laughed.
"Yeah. All good." I said, making him smile.
"Good." He walked over, sitting next to me.
"Would it be wrong to kiss you right now?" He smirked.
"I highly doubt so." I winked.
"That's my girl." Alex said, before leaning in and crashing his lips onto mine.
*
"It's just the Oscars." I rolled my eyes, walking to the kitchen, but Alex slid in front of me, blocking my way.
"Just the Oscars? That's like saying pizza is just pizza." Alex exaggerated.
"Hey, don't bring pizza into this." I glared, making him chuckle.
"I'm just saying, you can't skip the Oscars." Alex stared at me in disbelief.
"It's not a big deal. I'm not even nominated for anything. And I have a movie roll coming up, don't forget about that." I tried to push past him, but he was very strong. Almost like a wall.
"Come on. Go." He forced.
"Why do you want me to so bad?" I sighed.
"So I can be your date and go too." He grinned innocently, and I rolled my eyes again.
"No means no Alex. Now calm down please." I said, finally getting past him.
"Fine. Way to ruin the fun." He groaned, walking to the lounge room.
I went to my phone to find a text from Josh. I opened it.
"Hey Jen, late lunch at 4 today? I'll pick you up?"
I smiled slightly, considering this proposal.
"Sure."
My fingers swiped before I could control myself.
I had an hour. I better get ready.
"Alex. Josh is picking me up in an hour!" I yelled as I rushed upstairs.
"Okay?" Alex called back, slightly confused.
I started getting dressed into blue denim jeans and a crop top with a plaid shirt over it. I put on some sneakers. I could only imagine what the paparazzi would capture today.
I put my hair into a pony tail with loose strands, which in some weird way looked decent.
I went back downstairs where Alex was waiting for me, his arms outstretched for me. I walked into them, as he begun to stroke my hair and I buried my head into his chest.
"I have a problem." He sighed.
"What is it?" I whispered.
"I think I'm falling in love with you." He admitted, making my heart fall. I took a step away unintentionally.
"I know it's stupid. But it's so hard not to Jennifer." He bit his lip, obviously worried about my reaction.
"It's so hard to be in love for me. I mean you're great and you would be ideal to love right now. But you know my heart. It's an idiot." I laughed sadly, but he took a step back with a frown.
"I really thought you could feel the same way." He said.
"I could change...maybe." I tried to grab his hand, but the embarrassment got the best of him, making him walk off. Not far. Just to the kitchen where he held onto the edges of the sink and closed his eyes for a moment.
"Alex." I neared him, my steps slow.
"It's okay." Alex turned around with a smile, but it wasn't a real one.
"It is." He said, before giving me a kiss and rubbing my shoulder gently.
"Don't be stressed. Stop worrying. I'm fine. Rejection is just hard on anybody. But I think you'll come through." He smiled, and I returned it.
"I love you." I said, but we both knew it was meant in a limited version. I don't know how to love anyone anymore, or what it means. Maybe for Josh but...
"I love you too." He kissed my forehead.
"Oooh! Date night!" Alex clapped his hands and said it like a schoolgirl, making me laugh.
"It's not a date." I nudged his arm.
"We'll see about that, hon." Alex winked, then gave me one last kiss.
"We're so back and forth." I laughed as we pulled away.
"You love it." He grinned and I shrugged in defeat. I did like kissing and more with a guy who wasn't really my boyfriend. It made me feel like I had a very close relationship with my best friend.
We waited out the last twenty minutes sitting on the couch watching some TV, before the doorbell rang.
Alex walked me to the door, and put his hands on my cheeks.
"Enjoy it." He smiled, then gave me a long, passionate kiss.
We broke away and I opened the door, seeing Josh there with a shirt and tie? That's different. He barely ever dresses up for these kind of things.
"Hello." I smile.
"You look great." He greets, making my cheeks go red.
"Shall we?" He reaches out his hand, and I gratefully take it.
He leads me to the car and opens the door for me. What's going on? There's a strange sense of formality. I don't know whether to like it or not. It just doesn't feel like I'm with Josh.
He gets in the drivers seat and we set off.
"I'm guessing you got the vomit out?" I laughed, remembering how I made a bad mess of his car.
"Yeah. You really went to town on that situation." He shook his head.
"Yeah. Sorry about that." I apologized.
"All good." He smiled.
As he had his hand on the shift, I reached over and took it, and he glanced at me with a smile.
It felt like I wasn't alone. Which was different.
"Driving with one hand. I like it." He hinted, making me smile to myself.
"How are you going?" I asked.
"Me? I'm going great. I mean, you know...it's...I'm great." Josh bit his lip.
"Josh." I could tell he was lying.
"I'm gonna be okay." Josh had tears in his eyes, which broke my heart.
I squeezed his hand for reassurance, but knew that wasn't enough to mend how he was feeling right now.
"You really hurt me Josh." I told him.
I hoped we could maybe change some things between us, but I would have to get to the bottom of things beforehand.
"I know. I'm so sorry." Josh took this, pulling to the side of the road. He sighed, as a tear ran down his cheek.
"It's okay. But I just want you to realise things before we even become friends again." I said, releasing his hand.
"I will. I want to change really badly. I want to change for you." Josh turned to me, his tears releasing by the second.
"Can you do that?" I questioned.
"Yeah. I can." He looked me in the eyes, and because I couldn't let him go, I decided to believe him.
"Okay." I said.
He started to sob, and I took him into my arms. I unbuckled both our seat-belts and climbed onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He cried onto my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry. To you. And everyone. I screwed up. I screwed up so bad Jen." He sniffed.
"Shoosh." I whispered, hugging him, trying to keep in my tears.
"You can do better this time. I promise it." I left kisses on his forehead.
There was a silence that passed as he looked up at me, his eyes gleaming with the tears.
"You think so?" He frowned.
"I know so." I nodded.
He then put his hands on my cheek, and I followed on, leaning in, just as our lips met.
***
Thanks for waiting! Hope you liked this chapter.
Updating ASAP!! xx