Chapter 36

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I stumbled out of the car, Liam laughing behind me. Josh followed, but I think he was slightly more sober than Liam and I.

Liam tried to keep me on my feet, but eventually I had pulled him down with me. We giggled like children, and I felt Josh's wary eyes on me.

"Let's get inside, guys." He said, pulling us both up and guiding us inside my house.

We had just had a small dinner together after another interview, but the drinks were on the house..so, Liam and I really took advantage of that.

Josh, on the other hand, wanted to drive us home. So he didn't drink much at all. By that point, I had to hold my tongue majorly. Otherwise I might have said something fatal.

"Sit down, you two. I'll get some water." He said, going to my kitchen. Liam fell on the couch and I fell on the floor, which made him giggle again.

"Jen," Josh sighed, walking in, "you're wasted."

He lifted me up and sat me on the couch, pushing a glass of water into my hands.

"You're not much fun." I said, putting the water down. My voice was high-pitched and my eyes bloodshot.

"I'm just not in a good mood, okay?" He shrugged, then gave Liam the other glass.

"Loosen up, Joshy." I laughed, stumbling to my kitchen and pulling out some alcohol from the fridge.

"No. I'm fine." Josh took the bottle from my hand and placed it back in the fridge.

"I think I'm going to head off." He said.

"No!" I shouted, pushing him to the wall and putting my hands on his chest.

"Jen, let me go." He said, trying to gently push me away.

"Never." I whispered, leaning into kiss him.

My lips lingered by his. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for this drunk move. My lips had barely touched his when he put a hand to my chin, stopping me.

"No. You're drunk, Jennifer." He whispered sternly.

"So? Maybe- maybe this is what I want." I tried to kiss him again, but he stopped me once more.

"It's not," He said sadly, shaking his head, "you know it's not."

"I don't care. Just do it anyway." I tried once more, but this time he walked off.

I followed him to the lounge room, where Liam was sitting, completely oblivious.

"Why? Just tell me why." I stopped Josh.

"Because you're vulnerable right now. And you won't remember any of this tomorrow." Josh yelled, but his voice was strained.

I stood there, sobering up by his outburst.

"Then what's so bad about that? Unless you still have feelings for me?" I whispered.

His silence was his answer, and I felt anger coarse through me.

"Why don't you ever tell me? Why do you always ignore me for ages before admitting how you feel? You keep me waiting! Why don't you ever accept that we're meant to be together!" I was screaming, and I felt an arm wrap around me.

Liam.

"I don't know." Josh buried his face in his hands, and I did the same.

We stood like that for a while, before finally I heard Josh speak.

"Because I don't want to hear that you don't feel the same way."

I looked up, checking his face. All I saw was a frown.

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