Chapter 9
"Did you hear the great news?" My mother came bursting through my apartment door with her hands flailing in the air and her mouth wide as she yelled.
I groaned and pushed my head further into my pillow. "Remind me again why I gave you a key?" I asked.
My mother quickly sat on my bed and I had yet another moment where I cursed not having doors in my tiny apartment.
"I'm your mother Piper. If you didn't give me a key, I would have had one made."
I sat up in my bed and gave her my best 'are you kidding me' stare. "What if I was naked in here, with a man even?"
It hurt a lot when she laughed in response. In fact, it had been the most I'd seen her laugh in a long time. "Piper, if there were even a chance that you could be in here naked with a man, I wouldn't need a key."
I flinched, "It's not that hard to imagine."
Her laughter stopped. "Really, this coming from the woman who likes to remind me at every possible moment how love does not exist?"
I smirked, "Who said anything about love? I am female after all."
"Yes, a female with a fear of intimacy. Good job though, you almost had me fooled. You're getting better at trying to convince me that you're normal."
I frowned, my eyes instantly blurring. "Thanks for the vote of confidence mom."
I turned away from her in the hope that she wouldn't see just how deeply her words had cut. I felt her arms gently touch mine as she moved higher on the bed so that she was sat beside me. "Piper," she whispered but, I kept my head facing the wall. "Piper I don't know why you're upset. It isn't as though any of this is news to you. I'm the one who keeps pushing you to be with someone but you're the one who keeps insisting that relationships are not for you. Is it fair for you to be upset with me when I point it out? I say it isn't."
I pulled away from her hold and jumped out of the bed. I held my head in my hands and prayed that the tightness in my chest would fade along with the salty puddles in my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and hugged myself tightly for reassurance.
"It hurts mom," I mumbled.
"Why?" She asked delicately.
I hung my head and spoke to the tiled floor. "It isn't as though I'm happy being alone. I want to be normal. I want to be carefree around people and I want to give you the grand babies you crave. I want someone to spend my days with and I want someone to hold me when I cry. Gosh mom, I want happiness! But I'm scared. I'm scared of opening myself up and getting hurt. I don't believe love lasts. I believe it exists but it fades too quickly. I don't have the courage to go after a page of romance." I turned to face my mother, my face dripping in tears. "I want the entire novel but it doesn't exist."
My mother frowned; tears collecting in her own eyes. "Oh! My sweet, baby girl," She quickly made her way to me and opened her arms. I instantly fell limp in her warm and comforting arms. She rubbed my back soothingly as she helped me ease my pain away. After some time had passed and my sobs had dwindled to only small whimpers, my mother pulled my face away and looked into my eyes. She had a small smile on her face but her eyes were low with heartache.
She pushed my hair away from my eyes and held my head in her petite hands. "My baby girl, why didn't you ever tell me? You've had me believing that you were asexual or something. I didn't know you were actually hurting inside. If I had known that you were simply afraid of love, I would have never have pushed you so hard to date and marry."
"Thanks mom. I'm sorry I never said anything. I guess I was just ashamed. It wasn't until Scott pointed it out that I realised how I was actually afraid of falling in love."
She nodded thoughtfully, "Then what did you believe in before Scott pointed it out?"
I shrugged and pulled out of my mothers' embrace. "I guess I just never really thought much about it. I knew love was unreliable and I knew it was something that never lasted but, I wasn't aware that my non-existent love life was due to my fear."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
She sighed and sat on the bed once again. She pointed to the open spot beside her and patted it. I quickly sat next to her, sighing in contentment when the pressure on my weak legs was relieved. "I mean Piper, what are you going to do about your fear? You want love but for some reason you're scared of having it. So, what are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing, I thought that was obvious."
"No it wasn't. Why don't you want to fight for love?"
I sighed and fell backwards until I could feel my head hit my plush comforter. "Love doesn't last. Why should I torture myself when I already know the outcome?"
"You can't be sure it will end in pain the way you believe."
"That's the thing though, I do know it will. I'm happy with the fact that I will forever be alone. I wish you would be happy about it."
"You aren't happy Piper," my mother looked to me and I shrugged.
"What news did you have?" I asked in an attempt to change the topic.
It had worked. My mothers' face lit up in excitement. "The annual Calistoga Food and Bloom festival is next Saturday."
"So?"
She sighed, "So Piper, I just received news that the committee wants Heavenly Treats to have a booth this year."
I sprang up from the bed. "Are you serious?"
She nodded, "Yes I am. A few of the committee leaders have had your desserts before and since your store is almost open, they thought that it would be great exposure for you."
I squealed and hugged my mother tight to my chest. "I can't believe it! Do you know what this means for my store? Imagine all the prospective clients I can gather at the festival."
My mother chuckled at my ecstatic behaviour. "I know; which is why I rushed over here to tell you. This is a big opportunity for you. The Food and Bloom festival is one of the largest festivals this town offers. It's a big privilege so don't screw up. This is the first time that the committee has allowed an unaccomplished store to take part. This is a big deal."
I nodded frantically, "I know. I won't let anyone down. This week I'm going to start planning what I'll be selling at the booth. I'll make sure that I give my best next week, I promise."
"Good, now tell me about your date last night."
I groaned, "I knew you were going to ask."
She scoffed, "Of course I was. Now spill."
"There isn't much to tell."
"Don't be a spoil sport. Come on now, give me the juicy details. I know there are some since there is a beautiful vase of flowers in your kitchen."
I smiled thinking of the flowers Scott had given me. "They're called Birds of Paradise plants apparently."
"That's great sweetie, now tell me about the date." My mother could be persistent.
"He took me to some restaurant called The Match just outside of town. It's practically in the middle of nowhere. He had rented out the entire restaurant so that we were alone." I scrounged up my nose as I remembered how uncomfortable it had been with just us two in the building surrounded by bored staff members. My mother however had swooned.
"That is so romantic!"
"Not really. It made the entire evening awkward."
"No Piper, I'm sure that was all your doing."
I gasped, "Hey! That's just rude."
She snickered, "Yet true now, tell me what else happened."
"Nothing. We ate and then he took me home."
"Did he kiss you?" She asked.
I shook my head, "No he learned from that mistake."
"What do you mean?"
"Well considering that the last time he tried to kiss me he got egg on his head, he was more cautious."
My mother gasped and held her head. "My daughter you are enough to give me a headache. Why would you egg a handsome man like Scott? If I were you, I would be begging for a kiss from him."
"Then you date him," I grinned.
She shook her head though an amused grin played on her lips. "I'm no cougar." I laughed and followed my mother who had begun to walk towards the door. "I'm going to go home and mark some papers. You better get working on your desserts. It's my reputation and yours on the line."
"Yes mom."
She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I love you sweetie, even though you give me too many grey hairs."
I snickered, "What use am I if not to torment you a little."
She laughed and turned to leave. "I'll get my own revenge one day. Just you wait." She yelled and I watched smiling as her small frame disappeared around the corner.
I couldn't stop smiling. I had gone to bed the previous night with a heavy heart and even heavier head. I had never felt so uncomfortable and yet safe in my entire life as I had on my date with Scott. It was enough to get me to dread waking up with the fear that I would have to face Scott again. I had never been so relieved to see my mother that morning and; having to hear her news regarding the Food and Bloom festival, my worries had instantly faded.
The new week was approaching and that meant my worries of the past week had to disappear. My only concern was my desserts. No more Scott and no more fears of love. It was time to get back to what I could control before my life really did spiral into chaos.
It was time to put Heavenly Treats on the map.