A.N. - Hey Guys, give the song at the side whirl if you're open minded but lol if you're not and you listen to it. Anyway, thanks for reading and voting and being amazing people, 3000+ reads!!! you guys actually make my day, thankyou <333
Ever since Candice spoke to Malik the day I'd gotten staked, she's become a complete different person.
Since that day, she hasn't cried infront of me even once but I can see the tear marks when she wakes up in the morning, I can see the tracks where each of the tears that she shouldn't ever have to cry on her face and I...it made me feel helpless.
For those seven weeks, she's been broken, a dead look in her eyes, pale defeated skin, the glow of energy that always seemed to shine from her was gone and replaced with something that I never ever wanted to see.
The girl that I knew was no longer there, it was being replaced by something cold and so upsetting that I found it so difficult to bite my tongue when Malik had ordered her into getting a scan; I would have given my own life to have ended his and wipe the smug look from his face when he saw the state that she had become. But that wouldn't help her, nothing I could ever do could help her get through this and I know that I should have done something sooner to save her.
But there wasn't anything I could do, instead I had to watch her personality flood from her and change her into something that was lifeless and didn't want to fight or even speak.
Finding out the it was a girl hadn't even changed the way that Candice was looking on life, she wasn't saddened or even pleased, she just looked lifeless. She hadn't even wanted to look at a picture or flinched when the screen was turned in her direction, she gazed into it with a hazey and glazed over look, similar to the one of a boy that can't get enough of his video games and so he spends his life on them. She looked lost.
She hadn't really said that much to me in a week and that's when I realised it was because Malik had decided to name her - that thing- and Candice had nothing to do with it.
It made me ache when I saw her staring into space, the lost and broken gaze permanently etched into her.
I longed to be away from this sometimes...Well actually that was a lie, I longed to disappear all the time. I longed to escape the drama, all the noise and all the hurt...
Was there ever a way to come back from something like this? Was there away that I could stop feeling the black and empty pain that hurt each time I saw the look of disappointment, the look of being let down by me when I was the only person that could have saved her?
Was this how it ended? Me hating her for simply hurting....Could I really hate her for it? For wanting to feel something....
But she didn't anymore though, did she? She didn't cry, she didn't scream or beg to wake up from some nightmare. She didn't beg me to stop her from crying, she didn't even ask me anymore to take the pain away with compulsion...
And that was what bothered me the most, not knowing what was ticking on in that head of hers, could she really just go numb inside? Was it possible to just shut yourself off from the world and just pretend that it wasn't happening so that you wouldn't feel the hurt and the burning pains from it?
I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to save her and change the way she was feeling but there was no way that I could save her and that killed me more than I wanted to admit.
I placed some food on a plate, even though she wouldn't be able to digest much of it before she sicks it all back up again, I sat across from her and studied her for about five minutes before speaking to her.
She had her long blonde hair falling in messy and uncombed, on washed waves down her back, the same clothes on that she'd been wearing for days and she had lost weight in her face from lack of nutrients, it didn't look attractive either...She had clearly given up.
"What would you have named her?" I said, remembering that Malik had been debating calling her Elizabeth after the famous murderess.
Suitable name for a baby in his eyes, the name of a killer. He wanted another killer in the family because he didn't have the balls to admit to his subjects that he wanted to be feared, not worshipped.
Candices face crumbled and I realised that it had been something that she'd needed to speak about, otherwise she wouldn't have reacted to it in such a way. "You want to talk about this even though it should be the worst thing to say?" She mumbled into her food, I could hear the annoyance in her voice as she longed to escape from the answer.
"It's only the worst thing to say if the person hadn't wanted to talk about it." I said, reminded of the psycology course I had taken when I was pretending to be a human twenty years ago.
She looked down at her plate for a couple of minutes and I doubted that she was going to answer my question until she looked up at me, guilt and shame in her eyes, "Willow."
I felt anger towards Malik for what he was doing to her, Candice had felt like she was going against her own kind by wanting to name something that was her flesh and blood. I wanted to rip his heart out and stake it to the ground.
I let her finish her meal in silence and after she'd been to the toilet and vomitted it all back up, I settled down on a chair and let her slide into my arms beside me.
She was boiling and feverish and laying in my cool arms, she would soon go back to her normal body heat.
"What do you dream about?" I asked her, trying to break the silence.
"Is that a rhetorical question or are you trying to be funny?" she asked, her voice dim and one tone.
"I don't mean since you've come here, I mean before here. What did you always want in life."
She looked away from me and a nervous laugh rose to her throat, "It's silly." she muttered, still looking into the space in the opposite direction from me, afraid of catching my stare.
Something in the shape of guilt, something that I'd been trying to stay away from for the whole of eternity made it's way into my own heart and I stopped for a while, not wanting to say something to hurt her.
"I don't care if it's silly, I still want to hear it." I forced myself to say, wanting to run and escape from here.
She looked down at the ground for a couple of minutes I saw a tear on her cheek but she quickly slapped it away and replaced it with an icy stare, "Family....I wanted a big family and a big house that was always full of laughter...I wanted to get married to the perfect man and stay with him forever. I wanted...I was going to call my first born girl Willow after my dads mother, I'd never met her because she died before I was born but my dad always said she was an amazing and beautuful woman.."
She stopped talking and I decided not to say anything that would remind her of it for this evening, she was in a fragile state and I didn't want to hurt her even more by bringing it up all the time.
Beisdes that face I didn't want to hurt myself anymore. I hated my brother for his own existance but now I hated him for Candices existance aswell which only made me hurt. I didn't want to have to feel bad for somebody, empathy was not and I repeat not one of the things I ever wanted to feel or something that I allowed myself to feel.
I hated it that one person being hurt could cause me to hurt this much because I was Sedrick, the evil vampire that thought that humans were weak and fragile, not worth caring about! I did not ever care for a human being, I did not want to ever feel their pain and my brother knew this.
Smart bastard. He always knew how to rile me even more, he knew exactly how to manipulate me into being a person that I feared. Loving something or somebody only got me hurt, I couldn't feel feelings for another person, Candice was not being fair, Malik was not being fair!
When she fell asleep in my arms, I did my best to move her into her own room and place her on her bed without waking her.
As soon as she had her head on the pillow and the light white sheets covering her body, I left the room, picked up my phone and dialled the one person that I never would have dialled if it weren't for what Candice had said.
"Sedirck?" Malik said after three rings.
"Malik." I replied, hate in my voice.
"Is Candice alrig-"
"Fine." I interupted.
"Well then what is it that you called for brother because as I recall, we don't ever call each other for a daily catch up." he said.
"A favour." I said, I never wanted anything from him for myself but something inside of me wanted to give up my pride to help her, something that terrified me more than death itself.
"What sort of favour?" his voice sounded intriged and I would have done anything to have replied with a smart comment to annoy him but it wasn't for me, it was for her.
"For Candice. I want you to let her nam-"
"No."
"No?"
"No, are you going deaf with old age or something?"
"Why no?" I asked, ignoring his comment.
"Brother, do you not think it would make it even harder for Candice when she has to give her up because she has an emotional attachment?"
"Do you not think that she hasn't already got an emotional attachment? It's half of her-"
"Don't, I'm not going to agree so I would hang up and practice what you're going to say to her when you're saying goodbye, if not then stop caring. Goodbye." he said and then hung up.
I hissed and threw my phone at the floor in my rage, angered by everything.
What was I going to be able to say to her when she leaves, it's not as if you're going to say something meaningful to her that will let her no how much you cared and it's going to make a difference, she's going to get compelled to forget all of us!
Why bother then? Why give a rats ass about how she feels when she's the one that gets to forget everything that has ever happened here?
I'm the one who gets to live with it! I'm the one that gets the reminders each time I look at my neices face or each time I see somebody that remotely looks lie Candice!
The blonde hair. That's all it would take and I know that it could drive me to the point of mass homicide.
I felt a growl rise to my own throat and I grabbed a close by plant pot, crushing it to tiny pieces in my hand like it were play doh that I could destroy with such ease.
Why the hell did life have to invole so much work? I never asked for this to happen so why am I involved? I'm a victim too but who's the person there to comfort me when Candice is gone?
Nobody is. Just nobody.
I sat down in the chair in the sitting room thinking about everything that was happening, only to be interupted by a loud scream from the kitchen.
It sounded like Candice.