Isa
*2 weeks later*
I woke up this morning hoping for the same thing I've been hoping for...for him to come back to me. For him to say it was all just some 'big joke' that he was playing. But it wasn't. And just like the other 13 days that have passed, I woke up to an empty bed, and a empty home.
I tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over, with all my might, but to no avail.
This 14th day did nothing for me. I knew when I signed up for this, that my marriage wasn't going to be fairytale, nor a stroll in the park but I didn't imagine it to be like this!
Words can't describe how I feel. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm hurt. But more than anything I'm heartbroken. He could've told me how he was feeling...but he didn't. And for that I want to hate him with every single fiber in my body...but, truth be told, I can't.
I can't help the way I feel about him. I'm hopelessly in love with him! No matter the numerous times he cheated on me, I always took him back!
I loved him whole heartedly...I put my dreams on hold for his...I-I! I chocked on the tears that were streaming down my face. It was unfair. I did everything he wanted without hesitation, only to be thrown out like a dirty rag, afterwards.
"Calm down" I said to myself trying to regain control of my emotions. After calming myself down, I summoned enough strength to get myself together for yet another day without him.
I slowly crept out of the bed we used to share. Used to? I thought to myself. We were supposed to be forever.
Nevertheless, I rid my mind of those depressing thoughts as I walked into the bathroom.
As I stood looking in the mirror, my soulless reflection looked back at me. I hoped today I would see who I used to be. Someone that was happy! Someone whom was eager for life! Someone who used to claim that a man could never break her!
But instead, I was faced with this depressing version of myself.
"Why me?" I somewhat whispered, choking on the sobs that threatened to take over again. "Why?" I continuously asked. I was turning into an emotional reck! "C'mon Isa pull it together!" I said wiping my tears.
After pulling myself together, I proceeded with my daily hygiene routine.
Today, I was going to soak every emotion I was feeling away...well...at least for the moment being...
I stopped up the the jetted tub and filled it with bubble bath, preparing for some much needed stress relief.
While the tub started to fill, I walked down what used to be our beloved staircase. One of our favorite details of the house. Memory after memory began to play in my head as I reminisced.
Every room had a different meaning...a different memory...and before I knew it I was crying again. Damnit!
I continued walking until I got to the door of our cellar. As I opened the door, I saw the liquor we used to keep, just incase we ran out during a party.
We used to be the life of the party. No one could get enough of us!
Keyword: used in the past...like its never going to happen again...
I felt my face starting to scrunch up, indicating I was about cry! Oh lord!Here comes the water works! But before they even got a chance to spill over I stopped them. "Self. You listen and listen good! No more crying! No more!" I whimpered. I've been crying nonstop and these headaches are no joke.
After my little speech to myself, I managed to get it together and picked out a bottle of Moscato.
As I took the walk back upstairs I heard the doorbell ring. "Who the hell?!?" I mumbled to myself. I wasn't expecting anyone...
UGH!!!!!
I placed my bottle of wine down in the kitchen. I wasn't in the mood for company. I was planning on relaxing and drinking a couple glasses of wine. Hell I might even drink the whole damn bottle.
As I made my way to the front door the sound of the doorbell was replaced with heavy banging.
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!
Damn! "I'M COMING" I yelled back in frustration. This person was really testing my already low patience.
"WHAT?!?!" I said swinging the door open.
"He- Girl what the hell happened to you?!?!" My best friend Gabrielle asked me.
"Gabs" I said sighing "I've...just been having a rough couple of weeks"
"Isa.....I-if you don't wanna talk about it I understand completely."
"Well thank you for saying that because I don't" I said about to close the door in her face.
"Isa wait...don't you wanna know why I'm here???" She asked stunned by my behavior.
"I suppose" I said leaning on the door frame. "So...why are you here" I asked being blunt.
"Isa can I at least come in?"
"Im not really in the mood"
"C'mon Isa don't be like that. I'll be in and out of your hair"
"Fine."
"Thank goodness! I thought my best friend was just going to continue to give me the cold shoulder" she said walking in.
"Whatever" I mumbled locking the door behind me. "Well?" I said unamused.
"Well...I was just wondering if you wanted to go out. I didn't call because...hell I don't really know why I didn't call" she said blabbering on.
I'm the midst of her blabber I walk back to the kitchen grabbing two glasses. "You want some?" I said motioning to the bottle.
I watched as she looked at me in disbelief. "What the?!?! Isa its 9:00 in the freaking morning!" She said full of hysterics.
"I know what time it is" I said plainly as I started to pour myself a glass. "And it's perfect for this occasion" I said smiling while I did a cheers to the air.
"Isa what occasion?!?! You are MOST definitely not a drinking person what-" she paused, I assume getting her thoughts together. "Isa you barely drink at all!"
"Well now I do..." I said taking another sip.
"Okay enough with the sarcasm!" she proclaimed slamming her clutch down on the kitchen counter top.
"Mmmmm" I moaned "You know, I would almost feel bad not sharing with you had this wine not have tasted so damn good!" I said eyeing her.
"You know what-" she said snatching my glass away from me.
"You act like I don't have a bottle sitting right here!" I chuckled, downing as much as possible.
Before I knew it, she had snatched the bottle too. "Now what? Huh?" she said getting in my face.
I simply smirked "I'll just get another bottle then".
"Oooooooohhhhhhh No You Don't!" She said blocking the entrance to my basement. The basement that lead to my most beloved cellar.
"Really Gabs?" I said chuckling in disbelief.
I really wasn't trying to go there with her. "Look-" I was trying my best to stay calm "if you would just politely move out of my way it would be highly appreciated!" I said glaring at her with my most sarcastic smile.
"Not until you tell me what's going on!" she countered.
"Damnit! I'm trying to be nice right now Gabs! Today is not the day! Nor is it the week! Or the year for that matter!-" I exhaled, slowly, trying to calm myself down, before another headache crept up on me. "Just please move out the way!" I said letting out my frustration.
"No!" She said plainly still standing there. "Not until you tell me what's going on!"
"You know what-" I said retreating back to the kitchen area. "I'll just go buy myself another bottle" I said grabbing my keys.
"Damnit! Isa! So help me god!-Did you just make me take the lords name in vain?!?!" She asked in disbelief. Now I knew she was really upset. Gabrielle, or better known to me as Gabs, is a very religious person. Like following every rule to the umpteenth power religious! "Oh my gosh!" She whispered to herself still shocked.
"C'mon Gabs! I don't have all day! I just want a drink! So unless your drinking with me, would you" I motioned to the front door "leave? Please? Thankyou!"
"No! Isa I said not until you tell me! So either you tell me...or I stay and you suffer..." She said shrugging her shoulders.
"Suffer from what?!? I think between the both of us I suffered more in the last 2 weeks then you did in the last 3 years!" I said sarcastically blowing her off.
"Wh-What are you talking about?!?" She said snatching me back by my arm.
"I'm talking about the fact that MY FUCKING HUSBAND LEFT ME! HE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS OVER THE NIGHT OF OUR ANNIVERSARY!" I yelled, shaking my head in disbelief, thinking back on it. "YOU KNOW WHAT-WHAT THE CRAZIEST PART WAS?!?!?!?!?" I continued now a glassy eyed mess. "HE TOLD ME SHE WAS PREGNANT! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT FOR OVER 10!FUCKING! Y-YEARS! A-AND HE HAS TH-THE AUDACITY TO THROW THAT IN MY FACE?!?!?!" I said now full on crying. "SO YEAH.....NO WONDER I NEED A DRINK AT WHAT IS IT??? 9:00 IN THE MORNING! YEAH! I NEED A DRINK!SO NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEE MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!" I spat out done with this whole conversation.
"Isa" she said, words loged in her throat "I-I h-had no idea" she said now crying herself.
"Welp" I said chuckling, something I'm seeming to do more often now "Now you know"
At this point, I couldn't even take it anymore! I just broke down and slid to the ground. "Why is this all happening to me?!?! Somebody please tell me why?!?" I croaked out.
Now here I am!...Doing the very thing I was coaching myself not to do!...I was crying once again!
...I was back at square one!
Once again!
************************************
?????
Thoughts anyone????
Please Rate, Comment, and Vote!
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo 😘😘😘😘😘