When enough is enough (#JustWriteIt #FreshStart)

Chapter 5

Isa

I once again was awaken by the sweet, savory, mouth watering, smell of breakfast. Only this time, I woke up in my childhood room.

The same room I grew up in stayed untouched, every single trinket that I collected, still in the orderly manner, I left it in.

Yawning, I looked around examining the pictures on the wall. As my eyes continued to inspect the room, one picture in particular caught my eye. It was one of my abuela and I at the beach. In the background were my parents along with my brother Al.

"Wow" I mumbled to myself, letting my fingertips graze the frame of the picture. I had to have been at least 10 or 11 in the picture. As I continued to stare at the image in front of me, tears started to cloud my vision.

It had been so long since I had communication with my family. I had missed my brothers deployment, his wedding, my nephew being born. So many things, family oriented events, I missed because of my naïve-ness.

Taking one last final look at it, I walked away before the waterworks began. Walking out of the bedroom, and down to the hall bath, I proceeded to take care of my personal hygiene. In there my mom left a note, telling me that she had a fresh set of clothes for me and a new toothbrush for my morning breath.

As I read the note a small smile approached my face. 'Mom stayed prepared' I thought to myself.

Instead of taking a shower, I decided to just brush my teeth. I know I probably reek, but I can't shower and put on the same dirty underwear, I wore the day before. While it might work for others, it didn't for me.

After I finished in the bathroom, I walked down stairs, letting my feet guide me since all my mind could focus on was food. In the kitchen my mom stood slaving over the stove, cooking up a feast.

"I knew you'd be up soon" she said, not once turning around from the stove.

How'd she know I was in here?

"Mom how'd-"

"I know everything" she said, turning her head over her shoulder to throw a smirk my way, before she returned to her cooking.

I slightly chuckled, having nothing more to say.

"So...how'd you sleep?" My mom asked.

"Umm...well considering all that's going on, I guess pretty good..." I said trailing off.

My mom finished stirring the grits that she was cooking, and came over to sit next me.

"What's wrong?" She asked, practically boring a hole into my soul, or at least that's what it felt like with how intensely she looked into my eyes.

"When will it get easier?" I said getting teary eyed. "I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want...I don't know...I just want to be myself again" I said, staring down at my, now, somewhat persperated hands.

Sighing she said "Honestly, I don't know what to tell you. The only real advice that I can give you, is to start with yourself"

"Myself?" I repeated in confusion

"Yes, yourself! Your the only solution to your pain" she sighed licking her lips simultaneously. "I know that doesn't make much of any sense now, but in due time it will" she said, softly rubbing circles into the back of my hand.

"Thank you" I managed to say, just an octive above a whisper.

"No problem" she simply smiled, before going to get some plates and bowls out of the cabinet. "Now here's the real question! Are you ready to eat?" She asked, with a cocked eyebrow and goofy smirk, already knowing the answer.