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(TO THE REAL STORY)
Chapter 4
Riley's pov.
I don't wanna be stuck here with Blake! It's bad enough I have to live with him but, to be with him alone? 'You won't be alone', a voice in my mind told me. Oh ya, Amber is stuck here too. May as well shot someone. Because that's what it will be like when you put Blake and Amber together. I loved Amber and Blake wasn't THAT bad, but ever since that hug...things have been wild. I mean, did you hear how they acted at dinner? And Amber showed Blake the hickey. He completely panicked of course! Poor him! Ya right, he put it there!
When I opened my eyes, orange filled my vision. "Ggraag!" I groaned. Today is the day. The day that everyone is leaving for their trip. Why can't they bring us? I don't wanna go to school! I wanna go on roller coasters and swim in a HUGE pool! I wanna meet european boys! Lets just say, no one likes me. I mean... Louis does, but I don't think it will last. How can a guy like that like me? I mean, come on! What with his chestnut colored hair, green eyes, amazing laugh and pink, kissable lips. How can a guy like that like me? It is...stupid!
I throw the covers off my body and hear an annoyed moan. Oh ya, Amber slept here last night. I am still kinda hurting from what we did. She wanted to know what it felt like to fly. So I tried to do that move from dirty dancing, where he lifts her in the air. But I could only hold her for a second and then I dropped her. Sadly, she fell on me.
I groan as I sit up, clenching my blanket as I did so. I throw both my legs off my bed and get out. "Riley! Don't you dare get out of bed!" I heard Amber warn. Well, I am guessing she said that because what I heard was 'Wiley! Won't wou ware wet woutta wed!' Her face is in the pilliow so I don't understand her that well. "Yes Amber, I won't..." I said and fell back into bed. Amber wrapped her leg around my waist and put an arm around my neck. I put my arm around her waist and brought her closer, she was half way on top of me.
We always do this kinda stuff. When we were little, and still now, we were afraid of thunder storms. We would always come to each others houses and cuddle up together and sing. Well, I would sing. Amber would just whimper and cuddle closer. The song that always makes her fall asleep is 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan. I would sing that to her and she would bury her face in the curve of my neck and fall asleep.
I laid there with her for a bit longer before I got up again, dragging Amber with me. She was wearing a black tank top and pink short-shorts. Her eyes were still closed as she hopped onto the bed, and jumped on my back for a piggy back ride. This was our morning thing. I would give her a piggy back ride down stairs, she would eat and then we would go back upstairs. I didn't really eat breakfast so I would just drink my coffee.
Her head snuggled into my shoulder as we went down stairs. "Riley..." "Amber..." I repeated. "Feed me!" She whispered. I feed her when she was really tired, we were really strange. "Ok, muffin. Will do." I whispered and sat her at the table. "Thanks cupcake..." I smiled at her and went to grab her favourite cereal. Captain Crunch, the best! I grabbed a bowl and milk. I brought it over to her.
"Muffin, open up!" I ordered. She did what she was told. Just as I was feeding her the last spoon full, Blake came down stairs. "Why are you feeding her?" He said, while putting bread in the toaster. "Because I love her and she didn't want to feed her self!" I snapped and feed her the last spoon full. "Muffin? Do you wanna go back up stairs?" I asked. She shook her head no and put her head on my shoulder. I sighed and put my head on hers.
Blake was staring at us with amused eyes. "What?" I asked. "You guys are so...cute together..." He said tilting his head sideways and smirking. "Were not a couple Blake!" I snapped at him. "What? Were not? BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" She screamed in my ear. "Please don't leave me!" She whimpered."Oh, muffin-" I started but got cut off by Blake. "Muffin? Really, muffin?" I was about to answer when Amber chirped up.
"Yes. I am her muffin and she is my cupcake. If you have a problem with it...then don't look at us! I am in love with your beautiful sister!" She stated before licking my cheek.
"MUFFIN!" I screamed and jumped up. She giggled and jumped on my back. "TO OUR BEDROOM!" She said pointing to the stairs. I laugh and start to walk to my bedroom. Once I get up there I throw Amber into the bed.
"Why, on earth, would you lick my cheek?" I asked putting my hands on my hips. "Because, I wasn't about to KISS your cheek now was I?" She said innocently. "Please don't lick it again. And do you relieve what you have done?" I asked looking her over. "What?" She asks, tilting her head side ways. "Blake just saw you when you were only wearing that!" I said. Her mouth formed an 'o', but then shrugged. "Oh well! To late now!"
And with that we both went back to sleep.
***************
Poke
Poke
Poke
Poke.
What the hell was poking me? It is right on the temple of my head. "Grrraaggh!" I groan. I don't wanna get up. "Cupcake, get up! Our family is leaving now." I hear...Amber? Ya, Amber. I shot up like a rocket and rushed down stairs to say good bye. When I got down I ran to my dad and jumped into his arms. "I'm gonna miss you so much baby." My dad whispered in my ear. "I'm gonna miss you more daddy!" I cried. Me and my dad had a strong relationship. No one can break it.
I hug each of my siblings before I reach my mom. "Be good baby. I love you." My mom whispered in my ear as well. "I will, you know I will. I love you too." I let her go and watched the two family's go out the door. I'm gonna miss them. But I want to go with them! I don't wanna be stuck here with those two! They will fight all the time and I can't stand it!
I hope that Blake won't bother us too much. I know he hates us, but he gave Amber a hickey. At least he could try and be nice? But is that gonna happen? Nope! They will fight like the French revaluation. Never stopping, always bad. I sighed turned to see Amber sleeping on the sleep of the stairs and Blake just watching her. "Why are you being a creep?" I asked with a smirk. He has to admit he cares!
"I'm not, I am watching her drool. Now scram....cupcake!" He snickered. "Only Amber can call me that. Wanna know something? You wish it was you she was calling cupcake and cuddling up to at night! But you are just gonna fight with her. So keep it up!" I said with my hands on my hips. He looked shocked for a second before laughing. "Ya...right...HA!" He laughed out. What was so funny?
"What's so funny?" I asked with my hands still on my hips. "I don't care about Amber! She is a bitch! She doesn't care about me either, why would she insult me if she did?" He said kinda loudly. "And um..." He said, now almost whispering, "Did I do that to her neck?" I studied his face. His eyes were everywhere but looking in mine, he moved his bangs to hang in front of his face, and he was shifting from foot to foot.
"Ya..." I trailed off. His head shot up and he looked straight into my eyes. "Ya you did! Why did you even kiss her?" I asked. If he didn't care why would he?
"Because....because I wanted to show her that I mean no harm. I..it.." He sighed before he continued. "Look, I use to love hurting her, it was like a numb pleasure. But the last time I made her cry, when she hugged me and I kicked her out, I don't know...it felt so...wrong. You know? I felt like I hurt her...and it hurt me. So that's why I came into your room and tried to make her feel better..." He explained. I bet I had a shocked look on my face. He...what...why?
"So your telling me that you don't care about Amber...but you care that you hurt her?" I asked trying to figure this all out. He is confusing. "Yes. I care that I hurt her but I don't give two fucks about her." After he said that he looked down at her. "I'm going to take her upstairs..." He whispered. He picked her up princess styles and was about to take her to my room when I thought of a BRILLIANT idea.
"Hey Blake!" I said after him. He turned around to face me. "Can you take her to your room? I need to clean mine and get some homework done. Do you mind?" I asked with a small smile. He looked down at Ambers sleeping form, shook his head and took her to his room.
They will have to get along now!
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Blake's pov.
I carried her up the stairs and into my room. I opened the door with my hand that was carrying her knees. I held her so her head was on my shoulder. Her arms snaked around my neck. "Cupcake...I wanna go to sleep." She whimpered. I nodded my head and place her on my bed. I was about to go but she grabbed my arm. "Cupcake! Why are you leaving me?" She whined. Oh ya, they always sleep together. Kinda gay in my opinion. I sighed and got under the covers with her. But what she did next made my tense up.
She wrapped her leg around my waist and put an arm on my chest. "Cupcake..." She groaned. Ok what do I do? I...what...think! I have walked in and they were asleep before. What does Riley do? She...she...oh! I got it! I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. So her head was resting on my shoulder. She couldn't fall back asleep. What does Riley do during thunder storms again? She cuddles with her but that isn't helping right now. She...um...she sings! But sings what? Sings...ANGEL! I got it!
I softly sing Angel to her and she falls asleep. Once I hear her soft breathing become deeper, I relax. How does Riley do all this stuff for her? I mean she has to cuddle AND sing to her. I guess it isn't so bad but she must really love Amber. I look down at her. Her face is buried in the curve of my neck, her blonde hair is everywhere. Her arm is around my neck to bring me closer to her and her leg is hooked around me, again, to bring me closer. How Riley sleeps like this I will never know. I feel like a giant teddy bear.
"Blake..." Amber whispers in her sleep. I start to panic. Does she know it's me and not Riley? But how? I start to breathe harder. Will she be upset when she finds out we she is cuddling, I gulped, with me?
"Don't go.." She whimpers. I didn't even move though. I take a sharp intake of breathe when I feel her lips brush my neck. I deserve that. I...I...GET OUT OF BED! I jump out of bed and Amber yelps in surprise. "Riley! What the he-AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Amber screams at the top of her lungs. My chest is raising and falling very quickly, to say the least.
"Amb-Rile- RILEY TOLD ME TO TAKE YOU IN HERE AND THEN YOU CUDDLED TO ME AND I SANG TO YOU AND THEN YOU KISSED MY NECK!!!" I shouted pointing a finger at her. She gasped and pointed a finger on me. "HOW DID YOU GET ME UP HERE? I FEEL ASLEEP ON THE STAIRS!" She shouted back at me.
"Icarriedyouprincessstyle..." I rushed. "WHAT?! SEE! YOUR THE BAD ONE HERE!" She shouted. "YOU KISSED MY NECK!" I shouted at her, I wouldn't lose this fight. "YOU KISSED MY NECK FIRST, AND LEFT A SPOT!" She yelled pointing at the spot at her neck. She got me there. "YOU WERE CRYING! I was trying to make you stop! It hurt to see you cry!" I said and slapped a hand over my mouth. Shit! "Wh-what?" She asked. I stumbled over my words. "Y-yea. Y-you w-were c-crying a-a-and i-it h-hurt m-m-me..."
'Oh..." She said. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine. I don't know what happened but something clicked in both our minds. I held open my arms and awaited for Amber to come in them. She flew into my arms and buried her face into the curve of my neck. I sighed and buried my face in her hair. It smelt like vanilla and cinnamon. "Blake?" Amber whispered. "Yea?" I whispered back. "Can we be friends?" I tensed up at the word. Friends. It was only 7 letters but it meant something huge for me. I felt her nose skim my neck. "Can we? Please?" She whimpered. "Ok." I nodded. She left her face to mine. "Really?" She asked with hopeful eyes. "Really." I confirmed.
What the fuck did I get myself into?
"Amber...you don't want to be my friend." I said. She begin to nod her head but I shook mine. "No, you don't. I will hurt you. I am messed up, I'm no good." I said. "But you are..." She whispered. "Let me be your friend, please. I promise I won't leave you." She whispered. I nodded my head. "Ok. Ok. We will be friends." I said. "Can we go back to sleep now?" She asked pointing to my bed. I tensed before nodding my head. I went to the bed and got under the covers. She followed my lead, but she stayed to the edge of the bed. "What the fuck?" I asked. Why is way over there?
"I don't wanna sleep near you...I only do that with Riley." She said. Well, fuck. That hurt. But whatever! "Blake...." She trailed off. What did she want now?! "What?" I asked, trying not to snap. "Can...can you..." She took in a big breathe. "Can you sing to me?" She whispered. "Uh..." Should I? Or should I let her fall asleep with Riley? Do I even want her here? Of course I do! "I- it was stupid for me to ask! Never mi-"
"No!" I cut her off. "I will." I stated. I begin to song Angel to her again. She cuddled into a ball and fell asleep from the sound of my voice. I waited until I knew she was in a deep sleep before falling asleep my self. I slept for maybe an hour before I heard the door opened. I saw Riley peek her head in. "Hey." I said. My voice was thick with sleep. "Hey, so...what's happening here?" She asked. I knew what she was talking about, but I wanted to tease her.
"She's asleep." I stated. She gave me a flat look. "You know what I mean." "We are....friends." I said trying to make it not a big deal. "THATS GREAT!" She yelled. "Shh! She's still asleep!" I said. I looked over at her and begin to stroke her hair. "Awe! You do care!" She said holding both hands over her heart.
"Ya..." I mumbled. I looked at her and got out of bed. "Let's go get food." I whispered. I knew if Amber heard the word food she would wake up. Riley simply nodded. We went down stairs and ate. After about 40 minutes we heard stomping and screaming. "That low life, feeling playing, stupid, cute emo, ditching fre-" She stopped short when she saw me. "You were saying?" I asked with a smirk playing on the edges of my lips. "I'm so sorry! I thought you left or something! When I woke up and you weren't there..." She trailed off with a flushed face.
"Come sit muffin!" Riley said. Amber looked at me with reading eyes before plopping her self on my lap. "Feed me!" She ordered me. "What?" I asked with an amused smile. Riley looking at us with the same expression. "If your really my friend, you'll feed me." She looked at Riley and winked. Riley got up and got her cereal. "Feed me"
She said simply. I look at her shocked. Is she serious? Well, ok. I took a spoon full of cereal and begin at feed her. I looked over at Riley and she looked shocked as fuck.
"What?" I asked after a few minutes of feeding Amber. "Your actually feeding her...and she's on your lap!" She said. I saw something spark behind her eyes. "Are you jealous?" I asked teasing her. She blushed and put her head down. "Oh cupcake!!" Amber shouted dramatically. She jumped off my lap and into Riley's awaiting arms. "You know I will ALWAYS love you more then him..." She said and buried her face in Riley's shoulder. Riley grinned and looked at me. Something was boiling on the pit of my stomach. "Is someone jealous?" She asked me pouting. I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh boo bear!" Amber whimpered jumping from Riley's lap to mine.
She put hers lips right by my ear so I could feel her warm breathe cascade it. "You know you are my one and only snuggle buddy right?" She whispered for only my ears to hear. I was breathing heavily and I had a lump in my throat. I nodded because I didn't trust myself to talk normal. What the hell? What was that Blake? Your a man, act like it! I pressed my lips to her ear, I bite it gently and whispered. "And you know your my one and only friend right?" She nodded and leaned against me. Soon enough I heard her breathe even and small, quiet snores. "She's asleep!" I whispered to Riley. Riley nodded and pointed upstairs. I nodded my head and took her up. I placed her on my bed again.
She looked so peaceful in her sleep. Almost like an innocent kid.
Would she get mad if I...? But I did it before...and she didn't mind. Maybe I shouldn't. Was that taking it to far? Fuck it! I slipped into the bed and put my arm around her waist, pulling her back to my chest. She moaned softly and cuddled to my chest. Would she get mad when she wakes up? I don't think so, she called me her snuggle buddy right? Maybe I should move. I snuggled my face in her shoulder. Nah, I'm gonna stay here. Sleep hit me like a truck and I fell asleep as fast as lightning.
*******
"Blake? Blake wake up! Blaaaake..." I heard a voice starting to draw me out of sleep. "Noooooo..." I whined and cuddled closer to the sense of heat. "Blake please! I wanna watch a movie!" I groaned but sat up. "Just for you..." I throw my legs off the bed and looked up at Amber with sleepy eyes. "Help me up!" I said stretching my arms to her. She grabbed my hands and helped me up. Maybe it was because I just woke up, or maybe it was because I was happy I finally had a friend, but something happened. When Amber tried to let go of my hands, I held on to one of them...never letting it go.
She smiled up at me, that kind of smile that you have to smile back at. Holding her hand, we walked into the living room and Riley was already in there. "Come on, sleepy head!" Amber said slightly dragging me to the couch. Riley was on the lazy boy chair. So I guess Amber and I had to sit on the same couch. That's ok, I guess. We both sat down and looked at Riley expectingly. "What?" Riley said looking at Amber. "What movie are we watching cupcake?!" Amber said in an urgent tone. "Oh! We have The Vow, The Notebook, Zombie land, Love actually or The Losers. Lets put it to a vote. Everyone say what movie they want at the exact same time." Riley said. We all nodded, "three, two, one! "THE LOSERS!" We all screamed at the exact same time. "Ok, I guess we are watching The Losers..." I said with a huge grin.
"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Riley shouted. "SO AMAZING! I WANNA DO THAT!" Amber shouted. I would shout something but I couldn't because I was to busy laughing my ass off! Why are we laughing you ask? BECAUSE THIS MOVIE IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER! It was in the middle of the movie when the guy shot two other guys with his hands! Well, someone shot through the window but it was still awesome!
I felt something on my leg so I looked away from the tv and saw Ambers leg touching mine. I kept it there, even though it was tingling mine. Whatever, I mean I have felt this before. With her...but that's not the point. I think it's the great tingling of feeling safe. I do feel safe with her, she has that safe aroma. And there is something else... The way her blond hair flows down her back in a beautiful, soft wave. The way her blue eyes that always seem so bright, and full of life. The way she is so short, yet so adorable. The way her lips are always the perfect colour of pink, so kissable...WAIT WHAT? What did I just say or, er, think? I must be going mad! I hate her, well...not hate her but I have no feelings for her! Maybe friend feelings but no more feelings then that!!!! What have I become? Oh snap! That's from Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. My weirdness was scratching to get out, so I let it.
"DESPERATE I WILL TRY, WAITING FOR SOMEONE! CLOSER, YOU ARE CLOSER. DIE FOR ANYONE WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?!"
I sang at the top of my lungs, drowning out the movie. Riley paused the movie and stared at me with amusement and shock. I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. I glanced at Amber. She had a smug smile sneaking on her lips, her eyes bright with amusement and....something else. I couldn't tell what it was, but it made her eyes shine brighter then stars. I grinned at her and winked before releasing my actions and ran out of the room. What the fuck did I just do? I never interacted with people! Let alone winked at them and grinned!
I laid in my bed and put in my ear phones. 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day softly played through them. I laid my head back on the head board and sighed. The music calming my nerves, but not entirely. What made me do that? What made my actions so...forward and rash? God, I hate it when I act before I think.
"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever none. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone."
The music starts to blare at the chores. I don't even hear the door open. I was numb with confusion, so I didn't feel the hand brush my arm. "Whams hakflcj Blenduxjd?" Is what I heard. I looked up at Amber and saw her worried eyes. "What?" I asked taking out my head phones. I said it in an annoyed tone, hoping she should go away. She didn't though. "What happened Blake?" She asked with a frown. "I'm sorry..." I trailed off. "Sorry for what?" I looked at her. She looked really adorable right now. Her nose was all scrunched up and her blue eyes brighter than usual. "I am sorry for winking at you. You know, I never usually do that kinda stuff. I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry." I stated. I looked in her eyes after I finished the speech and saw amusement and love. Wait...love? I probably saw it wrong.
"Blake, I am fine with you winking at me. I know this whole friend ship thing is new to you but...it is good. Trust me." She said with a smile. "You probably hate me...." I whimpered. "I don't hate you!" She said firmly. "You probably hate me like everyone else..." I pointed out. She grabbed my face in her small hands and kissed my forehead. "I do not hate you! And neither does Riley or anyone else in the family. Now, good bye. Riley and I are going to sleep now." She said and skipped outta my room. I felt kinda sad that she didn't wanna sleep in my bed with me but we barely became friends and it would creep her our. She feels more comfortable with Riley more then anyone.
I grabbed my pillow and snuggled into it. We have school tomorrow! Fuck my life!! Maybe we can reading in English class again?! What book will I read? I finished legend and the second book as well. God for shame, I do not even know what to read. I chuckled at my fail attempt to copy Les Miserable. I won't admit this to anyone but I have watched it like 8 times. I know every word to every song. I even cry at the war scene when everyone dies.
What has happened to me? Since when am I not depressed 24/7? Since when have I not cried myself to sleep? When had this happened to me? When I have forgotten what they did to me? The pain they caused? The scars they left? The love they never gave...
*Blake's Flashback* (Warning: this gets dark)
"Dexter! Dexter you can't sell him like this! You can't sell him! This is wrong! I won't let you, as much as I hate the boy I won't let you do this!" I heard my mothers voice. I was locked in my cupboard, hoping no one will find me. "He is 10 years old! He can handle it! And we need the money so we are going to sell him to my friends!" He shouted at her. I heard foot steps come closer the the drawer I'm in and I whimper. Big mistake. My dad rips open the cupboard and throws me out.
"You worthless piece of shit! Trying to hide from me!"
I was picked me up and throw me to the floor. He kicked in he stomach over and over again. With each kick, came a new word he used to insult me. When he finished he picked me up and carried me down stairs. Down stairs there was a large man. "Lay down!" My father ordered. I did as I was told. The strange man ripped off all my clothes and flipped me to my stomach. "You will not make a sound while I am doing this or I will hurt you even more!" The man whispered into my ear with venom before doing what he wanted.
"Fuck!" He moaned and hit the small of my back, before his hands trailed to my thighs. "Oh shit!" He moaned again. It hurt even more when he pulled out. That was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That man just took the only pride I had left and throw it down the drain. I moaned in pain and to crawl away but my father caught me. "My turn!" He whispered and laughed evilly in my ear. "No!" I whined and shouted.
It was no use. He just ripped out the only thing I had left. My soul.
*Flash Back Over*
That's why I cry my self to sleep each night. That's why I hate the world. That's why I can't trust anyone. That's why I can't be trusted. And that's why I don't have any feelings or emotions. Well, I didn't. But Amber opened up doors that I never thought could open. Amber is the source of my happiness. What if she didn't want to be my friend anymore. What if she left me? What of she got hurt? What if she got taken away? What if she died?
If the only thing that ever made me happy died, I don't know what I would do. I would become the same guy. The one that no one cared about or loved. The one that could die and you wouldn't even shed one tear. The guy that could disappear from the world and no one would give two fucks. I could die right now and no one would even give a rats ass!
I couldn't take the pain any more. It hurt to much! I went to the bathroom and grabbed a razor. I held it to my wrist and closed my eyes. I ran it across and I let the tears flow. I kept cutting and cutting. I cut one last time. I didn't mean to cut that deep!!! The last thing I saw was a dark red puddle by my wrist before everything went black.
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SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! I have worked forever on this chapter! Days and days. And then hours and hours on editing!
So whatcha think? Kinda, scary at the end eh? Now I just wanted to say that cutting doesn't solve anything. It doesn't take away the pain and it doesn't solve it. I am not promoting cutting and self harm, I just wanted to show the pain that Blake was in.
TILL NEXT TIME!!! BYE!!!!! 😋
-BubbaForest