"Luke, get up!" Bridget shouted at me as she threw her wet towel in my face as I laid in bed.
"I am. Geez, Bridge. Calm down," I said as I threw the towel on the floor and set up realizing my wife was standing at the foot of the bed without any clothes on.
Under normal circumstances I would grab her around the waist and run my hands all down her bare body until I got my way, but we had been up most of the night. Bridget wasn't taking any of this well at all. She was the oldest of the grandkids and spend a great deal of her childhood at her grandparents. She had always been really close with her granddad. We spend over twelve hours at the funeral home yesterday and never once did she walk up to the casket. She stood no closer than five feet away at all times. She just couldn't do it. I know she didn't want to, but I knew she was going to have to at some point. The way it's going it will be during the funeral services.
"Get up!" Bridget yelled at me again when she turned around realizing I was just sitting in the bed, "We have to go soon."
"I'm getting up," I said as I finally planted my feet on the floor and started towards the bathroom to get a shower.
"I've got to help Tia get the kids ready and you need to too. I'll lay your clothes out as soon as I'm done," Bridget informed me as I turned the water on adjusting it to just the right temperature.
Bridget disappeared from my view as I stripped of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I could hear her rushing around the bedroom getting ready. It was clear to me and anyone else who truly knew her that she was not doing well at all. I didn't know what I needed to do to make her just relax for a minute. This was different than any other loss she had ever experienced. This one was unexpected.
"Hey baby," I shouted as I wrapped myself in a towel, "Where is my trimmer?"
"It's on the bed. I just pulled it out of your suitcase," Bridget told me just before I heard the bedroom door open and close signaling that she had left me alone.
I walked from the bathroom to the bedroom dropping my towel at the foot of the bed admiring the way Bridget had carefully placed my outfit for the day across the bed; jeans and one of my plaid shirts. It was strange. Did she lay this out by mistake? She had to. She's just so upset she didn't realize what she was doing. That had to be it. Jeans just isn't proper attire for a funeral.
"Bridget!" I yelled as I slightly cracked our bedroom door.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Keegan squealed as he pushed me back and the door flung open.
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I tried to catch my balance and close the door at the same time.
"Keegan! No! Daddy's gotta..." Tia scolded as she came into view just as I was making contact with the door.
"Well, that was embarrassing," I said as the door finally closed, but only after Tia got a full view of my naked self.
"I'm sorry," Tia apologized from the other side of the door as Keegan jumped up on our bed.
"It's okay. Can you send Bridge in here please?" I asked as I walked over to the bed grabbing my boxers and quickly slipping them on. I didn't hear anything else from her. I sat on the side of the bed playing with Keegan until Bridget came back into the room.
"What did you need?" Bridget asked as she came in, "Luke, why aren't you dressed?"
"I was thinking that this wasn't what I was supposed to put on but seeing as you are wearing something similar I guess I was wrong," I told her as I noticed she was wearing jeans with a blue top and black leather jacket.
"We made Granddad dress up for our weddings so we are wearing jeans for his funeral," Bridget said as I'm sure she was reminiscing on the day we got married and how he didn't want to wear a suit.
"Okay," I said softly as I pulled my wife into my arms. I knew tears were getting ready to start falling from her piercing blue eyes and I was right.
"I just can't believe he's gone," Bridget sobbed into my bare chest as Keegan watched from the bed.
"I know, baby," I soothed her.
"Why Momma cry?" Keegan asked acknowledging that Bridget was crying.
"Momma's sad," I told our son as Bridget broke our embrace by picking him up off the bed.
"But Momma will be okay. We need to go get you dressed so Daddy can get dressed," Bridget said while propping him up on her hip.
"I'll be out in a minute," I told my wife as I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
With that Bridget and Keegan disappeared out of the bedroom door. I trimmed my beard and dressed quickly, but I couldn't get Bridget's sorrow out of my mind. I wish I could take all the hurt and pain away from her. Seeing it in her eyes even when she was putting on a fake smile was almost more than I could bare. As it looks at this moment there wasn't going to be anything that I was going to be able to do other than just being there for her. I was going to have to just be there when this fake façade she was putting on for everyone began to crack and eventually crumble into tiny pieces.
"Makenzie Raye! Go finish getting ready!" I shouted at our eldest daughter when I walked out of our bedroom door.
"I'm trying. Til has my shoes," Kenzie interjected.
"Your hair is still wrapped in a towel. I will take care of getting your shoes. Now go!" I exclaimed as I pointed down the hallway towards her room.
I walked into the living room to see everyone dressed and ready. Bo and Tate were playing on the floor with some cars and the twins were sitting on Bridget's lap. Til was sitting in my chair with Kenzie's shoes next to him on the floor. I tilted my head to the side with a look on my face as I gestured for him to come to me. Til pretended he didn't see me even though he had been looking directly at me when I walked into the room.
"Til. Now," I said as I walked into the kitchen with him now right behind me.
"What's up?" Til said trying to play off what we both knew was coming.
"You know what's up," I stated as I poured a cup of coffee into a travel mug.
"No I don't," Til lied to me. There wasn't anything I despised more than when the kids lied to me.
"Tilden Cheshire, I'm not playing these games with you. Take Kenzie her shoes back to her now and I swear to my all if I have to get onto the two of you the rest of this trip the outcome will not be pretty for either of you," I scolded my nephew.
"Yes sir. Sorry sir," Til apologized as he went directly to the living room gathering Kenzie's shoes and taking them to her.
"Bridge, do you have coffee to go yet?" I asked my wife from the doorway.
"No," Bridget paused as she sat the twins down on the couch and got up moving towards me, "I haven't had a cup at all this morning."
"Well, here," I said handing her my cup before wrapping my arm around her as we walked into the kitchen.
We stopped next to the coffee pot and Bridget turned to face me. I could see in her eyes that she was starting to break. I felt so helpless as I watched the tears well up in her eyes. All I could do was pull her close to me and let her cry. I placed my hand on her head and lightly slid it down her head repeatedly. After a few minutes she pulled away wiping the tears from her eyes before pouring me a cup of coffee and filling hers back up. Bridget tried walking away, but I grabbed her arm pulling her back to me.
"It's okay to break, baby," I told her just before I leaned down gently kissing her forehead.
Bridget just smiled at me before returning to the living room. I grabbed my cup off the counter and followed behind my wife. It was a matter of minutes before we were off to the funeral home for a few hours of visitation and then the drive to the funeral itself. The drive to the funeral home was quiet, but Bridget was humming a familiar tune the entire time. It was driving me insane that I couldn't place it.
"Interesting outfits," the funeral director stated as the entire family gathered in the entryway of the building.
"We made dad dress up for our weddings so we're wearing jeans for his funeral," Lily, Bridget's aunt, told him just before we started walking into the viewing area.
The entire family stood in the open space lead by the family matriarch, Bridget's grandma, Veronica. One by one her aunts and uncles made their way to the casket, but Bridget remained by my side. Til and Kenzie right next to us, but Tia had taken the rest of the kids to the lounge area in the basement. Kenzie had tears flowing down her face just as bad as Bridget did and leaned over against my arm. I wrapped my arm around her and squeezed her gently. Til lifted his arm and started rubbing Kenzie's back as Megan came up to us and Bridget immediately fell into her arms. I felt tears well up in my own eyes as I pulled Kenzie into a tight hug. The tears never fell.
"Mr. Bryan," the funeral director said as he lightly grabbed my arm, "Can you move your vehicle into the line so we can get it a flag on it?"
"I will. Both of them actually," I told him just before he turned to other members of the family asking the same thing, "Til, will you sit here with Kenzie please?"
"I will," Til told me as I helped Kenzie ease into a chair and went out to move my truck and Bridget's Escalade.
I stepped outside of the building and it was a breath of fresh air. The warm spring breeze was blowing as I walked to my truck. I opened the door and climbed in the driver's seat. As the engine began to purr the radio began to play Drink a Beer. In that moment I realized that was the song Bridget had been humming this morning. How did I not realize it was that song? It's not like it was some random song. It was my song. I pondered over how I didn't come to this realization before now while I moved my truck and then Bridget's. Walking back into the funeral home I ran into several of Bridget's family members, all of whom had to stop me for one reason or the other. I finally made it back into the building I found that my wife was missing from the large room that housed every other member of her family. I walked around for several minutes before running into her aunt Carrie.
"Have you seen Bridge?" I asked her curiously.
"She went rushing down the hallway a few minutes ago. I have no clue where she was going though," Carrie told me as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Okay. I guess I'll go look for her," I sighed knowing that we would be in a procession shortly and really needed to be gathering the kids.
I turned and went towards the hallway. When I reached the door I saw Bridget walking in my direction. She was extremely pale and looked like she was sick. I walked in her direction meeting her halfway.
"Luke, I don't feel good," Bridget said as she stopped in the hallway.
"What's wrong?" I asked my wife as Tia came upstairs from the lounge with the kids.
"I don't know. I just don't feel right," Bridget said as she picked Tate up into her arms.
"I'll keep an eye after the kids this afternoon so you can lay down," I told her as I took Tate out of her arms.
"Everyone is loading up," Bridget's uncle Alex told us as the entire group started moving past us.
I grasped Bridget by the hand and lead her out of the building to my truck. Once I got her in my truck she grabbed her Ray Bans concealing her puffy, red eyes. The second I had the door closed I helped Tia get the kids loaded into Bridget's Escalade while Til and Kenzie loaded into the backseat of my truck. I climbed into the seat of the truck noticing Bridget's tears had begun to fall once again. I grabbed my Oakleys sliding them down over my eyes before reaching over lifting the console and pulled her into the middle of the bench seat. I grabbed her hand interlacing our fingers together and placing them on her thigh. She laid her head on my shoulder as I put the truck in gear and fell into the long line of traffic behind the hearse.
"Are you ready?" I asked my wife as she slid out of the driver's side of my truck in the church parking lot.
"I'll never be ready for this," Bridget said as I closed the door gripping her hand and leading her to the front entrance of the church with the rest of the family.
As Bridget's uncles, serving as pall bearers, packed the casket into the church we followed behind her sisters with our kids directly behind us. The church was filled to capacity with distant family and friends with the exception of the first six pews on the right hand side. That was reserved for family. We sat in the third row directly behind Carrie, her husband, and kids. Our kids filled in the remainder of the pew with Tia sitting directly behind us. Bo climbed up on my lap, but I didn't dare let go of Bridget's hand as the service began. When the priest finished with his eulogy a familiar track began to play. It was a copy of Amazing Grace that Bridget and I had recorded for her granddad several years ago. It was his favorite song and was appropriate given the circumstances, but neither of us knew that it would be played during the service. I immediately looked at Bridget and tears rapidly began falling from her eyes. I sat down Bo and pulled her into my arms as tears started welling in my own eyes once again. Lily, who was sitting behind us, reached over and gently placed her hand on Bridget's shoulder as Carrie turned around doing the same thing. As the track ended the priest stood in front of the alter gesturing for the grandkids to proceed to the back of the church to bring up the gifts and 19 roses to put into a vase. With that Bridget got up and ushered our kids to the back of the church. I watched the entire time knowing it wasn't going to be easy for her.
"Luke," Carrie whispered, "Go up here and wait for her. She's going to need you."
I didn't say a word as I got up and walked to the front corner waiting for Bridget and the rest of the grandkids. It took several minutes for them to get everything organized and each of Bridget's sisters where assigned to one of our younger kids so they made it down the aisle. One by one the grandkids made it to the front of the church. Each one walked past the casket then placing a single red rose into a clear glass vase that sat on a stand in front of the alter. Bridget was in the middle of the group. As she passed the casket tears started streaming wildly down her cheeks once again. She stood in front of the vase directing each of the twins to put the rose in the vase before she placed the one she carried in. With that swift movement she broke. Bridget fell to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably. I instantly went to her side helping her to her feet. I practically had to pick her up and carry her back to the pew. Tia and Bridget's sisters fell right into place taking care of the kids as I tended to Bridget. I pulled her into my arms rubbing my hand gracefully down her flowing blonde hair soothing her the best that I could while the service continued. When it ended her uncles once again got up carrying the casket out of the church. Veronica was the first to start to exit the church, but stopped and pulled Bridget and I up with her. She wrapped her arm around her granddaughter and the three of us followed to the cemetery for the graveside service.
"Here, sit," Veronica instructed us as she sat down.
"No, I'll be okay. We'll stand right behind you," Bridget said as she refused to take a seat next to her.
"Are you sure?" I asked my wife as we stood waiting for all of her aunts and uncles to take their seats.
"I'm sure," Bridget said as she continued to sob though it was now concealed by her Ray Bans yet again.
We stood throughout the entire graveside service. Well, I stood. Bridget on the other hand was practically being held up by her uncle Alex and myself. She was an emotional mess. She was still sobbing uncontrollably and it was apparent to everyone there. Her parents stood behind us gently rubbing and patting her back. Her sisters were standing off to the side with Tia helping keep an eye on our kids. Til and Kenzie were standing right next to me and surprisingly they hadn't had one mishap since the whole shoe thing this morning.
"Come on, baby," I said as the service finished, "Let's go to the hall and get something to eat."
"I don't want to eat. I feel like I'm going to be sick again," Bridget told me through her sobs as we started across the sidewalk through the cemetery towards the parish hall.
"Bridge, you need to try and eat. Just something," Alex told her as we continued to walk.
"I don't want food. I don't want anything," Bridget cried as I pulled her in as close as possible.
"Alex is right. You need to at least try," I attempted to coheres my wife.
"No. I just want some ginger ale to settle my stomach and a cigarette to calm my nerves," Bridget interjected.
"You don't need a cigarette. That's the last thing you need," I told her as we edged closer to the parish hall.
"I agree. You quit. You don't need to start again. Granddad wouldn't want you too," Alex said as Bridget broke away from both of us and ran to the side of the building.
I ran after her as Alex continued into the building. She was bent over sick. I held her hair back as her family proceeded to enter the building. She finally stood up and wiped her mouth off with a tissue she had in her pocket before looking up at me. Not a word was spoken, but I could see in her eyes that this didn't happen because of her nerves.
"Are you okay?" I asked her as we started walking into the building.
"I think so. I just need something to settle my stomach," my wife told me.
The second we entered the door everyone surrounded us asking if she was okay. Apparently news travels fast, but of course we are surrounded by family so everyone is concerned, especially after she broke down during the service.
"Bridget, honey," Veronica said to her eldest granddaughter, "Can I talk to you and Luke?"
"Of course," Bridget said as the both of us walked to a back corner with her grandma.
"Bridgey, honey, are you okay?" Veronica asked Bridget with her voice full of concern.
"I'm fine, Grandma," Bridget answered her full of curiosity.
"Luke, what do you think?" Veronica asked me as Bridget glared up at me.
"I really don't know. She hasn't been this sick since she was..." I began, but never finished.
"Could you be?" Veronica questioned Bridget.
"Could I be what?" Bridget asked no understanding what we were talking about.
"Bridge, could you be pregnant?" I asked curiously.
"I never thought of that. I guess it is possible," Bridget said quietly not quite sure if she wanted to believe it was possible or not.
"You need to find out. And it would be great news for the family if you were," Veronica told her.
Bridget was too stunned to speak. Honestly I was too. Sure we started trying again almost a month ago, but neither of us expected it to happen so soon. We were just having fun trying. I ended up sending Tia to the store to buy a pregnancy test when we all went back to Veronica's house. That evening we would find out and if we were the entire family would be there to hear the news.
"How much longer?" I asked my wife as we both stood in the bathroom waiting for the test to complete.
"I just sat it down. It's going to be like 2 minutes," Bridget informed me.
"What the hell are you two doing in there?" David's wife, Emma shouted through the door.
"We'll be out in a minute," Bridget shouted as anxiously waited for the stopwatch to count to two minutes.
"Well, hurry up! There's a line forming out here!" Emma shouted through the door once more.
"We're going as fast as we can," I said plainly while I shifted back and forth on my feet waiting for the news.
It seemed like those minutes ticked by slower than they should have. Bridget paced back and forth in the little bathroom. Neither of us could be still. If we were pregnant this would make up for this being such a shitty day. I watched as the stopwatch on my phone hit the two minute mark.
"It's been two minutes," I said as I looked up at my wife.
She had a look of relief wash across her face. It was time for us to see what our fate would hold. We both leaned up against the sink and looked down at the test sitting there at the same time. Two pink lines.
"Oh my God!" Bridget screamed loud enough for the whole house to hear.
I didn't even have time to react before her arms were wrapped around my neck and her lips met mine. I think she was floating on air. I've never seen her so excited to be pregnant as she was at this moment. I snatched the test up off the sink and we both exited the bathroom. As we walked into the living room everyone was staring at us, but Veronica had a smile across her face. She was the only one who knew there was a possibility.
"I guess that was a yes," Veronica stated as Bridget and I both shook our heads with smiles plastered across our faces.
"What the hell is going on?" Marissa, one of Bridget's aunts asked us.\
"Well," Bridget began, "We didn't even think it was possible, but after talking with Grandma this afternoon we realized it was."
"What are you talking about?" Kathy, Bridget's stepmom asked curiously.
"I'm pregnant," Bridget smiled.
"We're going to have another baby," I grinned.
The entire room erupted into cheers of congratulations. It lightened the mood for everyone in the entire house. Most of all we were happy. Bridget and I were over the moon to be bringing another child into this world. Now we just hope that this pregnancy will be less eventful than the last one. The last thing on anyone's mind was when, where, and how we would announce this pregnancy to my fans and the media, but I would be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind during this moment of extreme happiness on a day of such sorrow.
**Author's Note**
So... Did you think Luke was going to completely go off the deep end on Til and Kenzie? Was Luke right to say what he did to Til or was he a little too harsh? What do you think of how Bridget reacted during the funeral? Did you expect her to have a breakdown in the middle of everything? Can you believe that Bridget and Luke are having another baby? Will everything go well with this pregnancy? When will they announce this pregnancy?
Sorry it took so long for this one to go up. It is based on what I experienced earlier this year when my Granddad passed away suddenly. It was really hard and very emotional for me. I really hope ya'll enjoy it.
There are just a few more chapters left in Starting Over. Is there anything in particular that you want to see happen before it wraps? The sequel will be titled "Love Me Through It" & will pick up several years after Starting Over leaves us. Thanks to @LifeIsLukeBryan for creating the cover art for the sequel.