"It's hard to find the kind of love that's hard to let go of, so if you have found it, hold on to it"
-- writingislife211
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For the whole day we ran, I made sure to keep an eye on Tyler. If anything happened to him, Ava would never forgive me. We hopped over shrubs, weaved around trees and branches in the forests and stopped for some rest at a river we'd passed.
If anyone died I wouldn't forgive myself. But death was as expected, and everyone here knew that. I wanted to personally kill the one who taken Ashton away. I couldn't remember it vividly, and I was confident I cohoe recognize the hunter's face like he was my best friend.
By nightfall, we had set up a camp in the woods near the hunter's domain — they're scent was so strong, it burned my nostrils every time I took a breath in. The plan was that we'd attack at midnight, enough time for us to rest up and hopefully catch them off guard somehow.
According to reports from The Werewolf Council hunters usually slept early and woke up around three in the morning to train — sort of like me. If we attacked before they awoke, hypothetically we would have an advantage. I glanced around camp, only to see the volunteers huddled around a small fire, talking and laughing with each other. Some were old, some were young.
A pang of guilt shot through my body as I broke through a strip of large, evergreen trees. I walked into a clearing, where the river was.
The water glistened in the moonlight, clear enough that I could see my own reflection. I sat down on the riverbank and sighed, treasuring the silence.
I stared intently into the water, meeting the eyes of another girl. My age, her hair tangled on the top of her head, eyes hollow and rid of any emotions. Her cheeks were colorless and pale.
I frowned when I realized that I was the girl.
All my life I'd wanted happiness and love. I'd strived to prove people who'd wronged be before that I had changed. But now I realized that I'd achieved none of that, and just when I almost had it all with Ashton it was ripped away from me again.
My own mate rejected me, and I could see why. I was plain and mediocre. Not particularly pretty or curvy like Cassie. I wouldn't choose me either.
Great, even alone I would wallow in self pity.
I'd honestly though Ashton was the one, but he was gone now. I pressed my back onto the grass, the sharp blades prickling my skin as I wrapped my arms around myself. I willed myself to think of Ashton and an image of him flitted over my mind.
His smile, his voice, his face, and how it felt when he was with me. The giddiness and the butterflies that swarmed inside of me as I fell. I imagined our future — maybe we would've had kids, or moved out of the pack house with our own little place — everything that we could've had, but now would never be.
The rustling of the leaves that sounded from behind me snapped me away from my thoughts. I sprung up from the ground, unsheathing a dagger from my belt. A dark figure emerged from the bushes and I gripped the knife tighter in my hand, prepared to throw it if necessary.
The figure stepped into the moonlight and I released a heavy breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. It was a familiar dark haired boy, and I rolled my eyes, tucking the dagger back into my belt. An unfamiliar feeling of warmth and giddiness washed over me.
"What's up?" Cael's voice penetrated through the thick silence, almost echoing beyond the trees. He plopped down beside me on the grass and my wolf to lightened up, howling. My shoulders slackened and my heart rate decreased slightly. I was becoming less tense with Cael around.
But Cael wasn't like his usual self. He shuffled nervously on his butt, avoiding my eye contact with great effort.
I didn't even think that was possible. As far as I was concerned, guys like him, who were painfully attractive always had something rude to say, and they were especially confident with any girl.
"The sky." I answered without even thinking, a smirk spreading over my lips. He raised an amused eyebrow at me, shaking his head as a smile played on his lips. "I'm just kidding, not much is up. I was trying to sleep."
I couldn't believe I was actually talking to him kindly without growing furious. I wasn't yelling, and he wasn't getting on my nerves. The stars and the moon have officially collided.
"You were? I couldn't tell." Cael countered chuckling and my eyes rolled to the back of my head again. His laugh sent a weird, unfamiliar feeling in my stomach. "I could swear you were talking to yourself."
"No I wasn't, and besides, it's healthy to talk to yourself, it releases toxins that are good for the brain." I raised my eyebrows at him.
He held in a smile. "Does it really though?"
I remained quiet, my wittiness had officially run out.
"Cael, do you think I'm going crazy?" I asked him, my voice just above a whisper. I didn't know why I was turning to Cael, but there was something within me that knew I could trust him. "I'm so angry all the time. I definitely need anger management," I sighed, falling back onto the grass.
"No, it's normal to be mad or angry." He responded with a shrug. His shoulder brushed against mine as he laid down next to me and suddenly, I found my heart aching for him to come closer, for him to throw his arms around me in a tight embrace.
What am I thinking??
"I think everyone here has the same mindset as you." Cael's voice interrupted my thoughts and snapped me back into reality. All the worries I'd suppressed on the way here bubbled over again.
"What if this is all a trick? What if we all end up dying?" I whispered, more to myself than to him. My wrapped my arms around myself, feeling a sudden chill run through my body as a gust of wind blew through my hair.
Cael stayed silent for a moment, the only noise accompanying us were the leaves rustling in the wind.
"Then... at least I get to die with you." His eyes were trained on me when I glanced up at him. "And for my pack. Then they'll all be safe."
His piercing eyes reflected the moonlight as he watched me with a soft expression. There was a glimmer of hope in them that made my heart ache. Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes.
"Lila, I'm sorry." He breathed, his eyes never leaving mine and yet, I couldn't look away either — they had me sucked into them. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk, an asshole. I want to take back my rejection, if it's even possible. I knew I was wrong the moment you left."
A wave of warmth spread over me, and it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of me. My wolf howled wildly in my head.
I hadn't realized that this was what I had longed to hear for so long. Truthfully, I'd never thought I'd hear this from him, not since he screwed around with Diana and my sister.
Now he was here, with me after all these years. A bunch of sick coincidences that brought us both back together.
I gasped when he abruptly wrapped his arms around me, and without a second thought, I threw my arms around him. He ran a hand through my messy hair, detangling some of the strands with his fingers. A stray tear rolled down my cheek, soaking his shirt.
There were so many obstacles that still stood in our way — particularly the hunters — and how weary I was of Cael still. But for now, for the first time in forever, everything felt perfect.
My wolf purred in my head. She'd been waiting ages for this kind of embrace with Cael. I glanced up, meeting his soft gaze.
Slowly, he fell back onto the grass, shifting so I was on top of him. He swiftly wrapped an arm around my waist and the other behind my head as he leaned in. My breath hitched as he did so, my eyes widening slightly.
How many times had I wished this could've happened? How many times had I dreamed of this moment as a kid? Too many to count.
His lips parted slightly as they connected with mine and immediately, a burst of fireworks erupted in my stomach when we made contact. I resisted a moan as Cael trailed his hand down my back, sending a heated shiver up my spine. Our lips moved in unison, like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly in a picture.
This was completely different from what it felt like with Ashton. Cackles of electricity sparked within the small space between our chests. His lips were gentle against mine, until we finally broke apart. I rested my forehead against his, both of us panting slightly.
My stomach dropped immediately as we broke apart. I had just kissed Cael — the guy who'd caused me so much pain. The guy I promised I'd never be naive enough to fall for again.
Ashton had just left, and now I was kissing someone else. I'd betrayed Ashton and he hadn't even been gone for a week. I was sure Ashton would have wanted this for me, but I didn't understand why it felt so horrible.
I pushed myself away from Cael and shot up to my feet. A flash of hurt flitted over Cael's eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to, I'm sorry." I stuttered, running a hand over my tousled hair. "I... I can't." I bursted out into a run, back into the trees. The leaves whipped against my face as I heard Cael's shouts behind me.
The campsite was empty when I arrived, the reminisce of a fire still sat in the centre where everyone had pitched their tents. I was glad no one would have to see me this way — a hot mess.
I slipped inside my tent, shutting the flap behind me. There wasn't any way I could prevent anyone from barging in, so I just sat on my sleeping bag and snuggled inside the covers as if nothing could bother me with a layer of cloth over me.
Like a child hiding from a monster.
I hadn't meant to kiss Cael, it just happened without a thought — like it was natural. And to make matters worse, I'd left him at the riverside.
My heart and my brain were working against each other to the point of exhaustion. I knew better than to be with Cael; I knew better than to fall for him again, after he'd rejected me.
But didn't I deserve a second chance to love? To feel a kind of love that burned like fire.
Didn't I deserve a chance at a life that I would've wanted for myself as a kid?
What was life without love? Living alone forever seemed so lonely.
Cael could very well be my happiness. The one who could light up my days forever, just like the Moon Goddess had intended for Cael and I.
My brain yearned for me to protect myself, to not be a lovesick fool that I had been at fourteen. I was truly afraid that if I listened to my heart, I would choose Cael against my better judgement.
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