So I changed my user AGAIN. People couldn't find me bc someone popular had a similar user to me. So I came up with @moonlightdirection
My first user was @ohthatscaroline and my second was @peachystyles but rn its @moonlightdirection and I don't think I'm changing it anytime soon. So yay
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It's Monday and I couldn't be more upset that my weekend is ever. I have to go back to class today, and I would do anything to not have to go.
It's about 7:30 AM and I'm taking a shower. I didn't wash my hair, because I did that last night and straightened it.
I pin the pieces in the front of my hair back to keep them out of my hair. I pull on some high waisted black shorts and a red crop top with white stripes. I brush my teeth, apply winged eyeliner, concealer, powder, mascara, and some lip balm.
It's 7:45 and my classes start at 8:10-8:20.
I'm just gonna go to the Starbucks on campus and pick up a coffee and like a muffin or something.
Harry is still asleep and I shake him, to wake him up. He finally wakes up after a couple of minutes.
"I'm going to Starbucks, I'll see you in class." I say and he gets up.
"No kiss for me?" He pouts and I smile kissing his cheek.
"Tease." he groans and I laugh.
Usually Liam, Niall, and Louis would be outside waiting for Harry but instead I see Zayn and just Zayn.
" I need to talk to you." He whispers.
"I don't think we should talk anymore, Zayn." I sigh, beginning to walk in the other direction.
"Cmon, Mackenzie." He grabs my arm. "It's important."
"Fine. You've got five minutes, but it better not be about us." I roll my eyes and he shakes his head.
I turn to walk in the other way and gesture for him to follow me.
"It's about Harry," he says uneasily. "It's about why I'm blackmailing him."
Oh god.
"I don't wanna know." I decide shaking my head.
"You deserve to. It has to do with you."
I don't say anything, my eyebrows furrowing and my eyes narrowing. How could it possibly be about me?
"He took videos of you two," He spits out. "Doing things."
No. He couldn't of. No. He's lying. God, Zayn really is pushing this.
"What?" I whisper to myself. "That's impossible, when I found out about the blackmailing, uh I- we never did anything before that." I stutter.
"You did make out, and Harry set up cameras expecting something else to happen."
"If that's even true that he set up cameras, how would you know about this?" I raise an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I found them and blackmailed him over it, I need money, I'm unemployed and live in an apartment alone.." Zayn looks to the floor.
I can't believe this, I don't know who I'm more annoyed at. I'm glad Zayn told me, but why would he blackmail him in return? That's stupid, but what Harry did was worse.. I don't want to talk to either of them. I was starting to trust Harry, and he did that, thinking I would have sex with him. It's sick. He's always been this way, why did I even think he would change?
I'm surprisingly not too surprised because somehow I knew he'd hurt me, I just didn't know it'd be this awful.
"Wait, your solution was to blackmail him?" I ask skeptically.
He gives me no answer, but I realize something else.
Zayn wanted to be my friend, after this happened ... What a scumbag. And he knew about this all along so obviously he wasn't much of a real friend. If he was he would've told me, even if he did it himself.
I feel tears well up in my eyes and I turn around walking away from him.
He tugs at my arm and I rip myself from his grasp.
"Don't, Zayn." I say sternly, walking back in the direction of my room.
If my life was normal, I would be able to run to my dorm and cry for the rest of the day, which I really want to do, but I can't, not only does he live there, but I won't be able to get my mind off of it. With all of his things surrounding me, his smell, I will just end up being more upset.
I know I'm going to sound stupid and desperate but I'll ask Quinn if I could stay there today and tonight.
When I near my dorm room, I see Niall, Liam, and Louis standing there waiting for Harry.
"I forgot something," I explain to them and they nod and I enter the room.
"Hey, why are you back?" Harry asks as I enter and I ignore him.
I grab a bag and randomly stuff it with toiletries and clothes, and the outfit I borrowed from Quinn on Saturday.
"Baby, where are you going?" Harry asks, cautiously.
Of course he used pet names, is he trying to kill me?
"Zayn told me about what you did." I mutter, a tear threatening to spill, but I blink it away. He doesn't deserve to see me cry in front of him. I already have, and it was over Chad.
"What?" he asks, and I scoff turning towards him. How dare he act like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He damn well does.
"The video." I take a deep breath, biting my lip.
Harry's face softens and he grabs my arm. "I can explain, please let me explain." He pleas and I shake my head no.
"I trusted you Harry, I don't know why I even bothered." I whispered, my voice cracking when I said his name. "And you were willing to do something so awful I mean- what if those got out? You know what would happen to me? You didn't even think about how it affects me. And if we did have sex that night, how dare you film it without telling me?" I ramble.
I tug my arm out of his grip, and grab my bag, before storming out of the room.
"He's lying! I can prove it, I can explain, Mackenzie!" he yells.
"Fuck you!" And with that I slammed the door shut.
"Fuck!" I hear his muffled voice shout and I finally let one of my tears spill down my cheek.
I earn a look from each of the boys, making my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. I quickly turn and walk up to Quinn's door, tears running down my face. I knock on Quinn's door and thankfully she's there. She opens the door.
"Hey Mackenzie," she smiles, but when she takes in my appearance, she looks almost sorry for me. She opens the door for me and I enter.
"Please let me stay here tonight, and during class, please." I plea pathetically.
"Of course." she gives me a sympathetic smile. "I won't ask, there's ice cream and sweets in the mini fridge,"
"Thank you," I say hugging her.
"It's no problem," she says. "I've got to get to class though." she explains and I nod, letting go of her.
"Oh, and I've got vodka," she smirks. "If you wanna borrow comfy clothes you can." she shrugs.
"I brought a bag." I explain and she nods back.
"Make yourself at home," she gives me a sympathetic smile and leaves me to myself.
I take a deep breath before sitting on her bed and stuffing my face in the nearest pillow and sobbing into it.
I hear a knock on the door and almost go to answer it, but I can't. Its probably Harry, and I don't even want to look at him. It's just the fact he did this, and he expected me to have sex with him after practically three days, it's all just- ugh. It's all shattered, everything I felt with him has been broken and been replaced with hurt.
The knocking doesn't stop and I wonder if it's Quinn, maybe she left something. I look through the peephole and see Harry with his friends behind him.
I take a shaky breath before placing my back against the door, covering my mouth and crying harder.
"I can explain, Mackenzie." he whispers, just loud enough for me to hear.
I want to open this door so badly, and make up with him, and just forget this happened, but it isn't right.
I know it isn't.
I place my hand on the knob and turn it almost opening it, but my thoughts creep in and I let go. I can't let him back in.
I walk myself back over to the bed and sit. I whip out the ice cream Quinn told me about and I grab a spoon in the cup of silverware above her fridge.
This is gonna be a long day, I might as well survive it. Ice cream and sweets are gonna help with that.
I scarf down a couple giant spoonfuls of ice cream and search Quinn's fridge for other things. She even has truffles. She's fully prepared for a break up. Oh god... Are Harry and I even done? Whatever. I'll let food distract me.
I eat a couple truffles, but I remind myself not to completely raid her fridge, so I stick with the ice cream. I just have to find things to occupy myself. I can't think about him. I can't.
Alright. I can watch movies. I applaud myself for bringing my laptop and I open it up. I go straight to Netflix and scroll through movies. I end up playing some reruns of friends, but I just end up crying because that was one of Harry's favorite shows.
Um alright plan B. Mean girls. That never fails to cheer me up, and it isn't really romantic.
I end up crying the second Cady lays eyes on Aaron. Everything revolves around relationships.
Okay plan C.
Cry and eat food.
Sounds better. I eat the ice cream and sob after each spoon, talking to myself.
I stop myself after about ten minutes, realizing how ridiculous I am. I turn on Quinn's TV and Keeping up with the Kardashians turns on. This is perfect.
Everybody else's problems will distract me from my own ones.
It doesn't stop me from crying, but it helps.
*****
I end up in headphones listening to sad music.
I'm not sobbing, I'm just lying down, a tear running down my cheeks every now and then. No sobs, no nothing. Just music and tears.
God this hurts. More than expected.
I wonder how it's affected him.
-Harry's POV-
She tugs on my arm shoving me into the closest room found.
"Cmon Styles, I can make you forget all about her," she whispers in my ear tugging on my earlobe.
She pushes me onto the bed and I lie down, motionless as she climbs on top of me, kissing me.
I barely kiss back and she pulls away.
"What happened Styles? You lost your mojo." She rolls her eyes climbing off of me.
"Sorry Stephanie, I just-"
"Sandra," she scoffs correcting me.
"I'm bad with names, okay?" I groan and she gets up leaving the room, flipping me off before she shuts the door.
Mackenzie has got me so messed up, not even partying or girls can change it. If I pretend to be okay, I'll be fine.
This whole thing wasn't even my fault.
-
This book is way too dramatic and I'm just gonna apologize lolol
Sooooooo that happened
Btw thank you for 1k omg whenever I release books they never get any attention whatsoever or they're poorly written so I delete them (I'm definitely not deleting this story btw) but just seeing that 1k number makes my day and ily all <3
my friend Lauryn wanted me to update more than one chapter but bc I'm a sneaky bitch ima leave you with that cliffhanger.
bai