I was once again lying on the bed, listening to music and trying not to fall asleep. The last show of the tour in London started in a few hours and afterwards we would all be partying a little, before we would be leaving the UK and travel the rest of the European countries. I was very tired and didn't really feel like going, especially as I had a very bad day today. I couldn't stop thinking about my birthday, that wasn't coming up until we were in Paris.
I was about to text Carl that I felt sick and would be staying at the hotel for tonight, when my screen lit up with a message from Luke.
Lukey: Carl got us crepes, you should hurry to the lobby or else Michael will eat everything! We're missing you down here xx (:
So I got myself to get up from my hotel bed and slip into my vans, throw a flannel over my shirt and leave my room.
When I arrived at the lobby everyone was already happily shoving crepes into their mouth, even Michael looked satisfied. He was a little weird today, but when I asked Luke if he knew why he just shrugged.
Calum finally got over his massive hangover and was now back on track again, which was good because he kind of missed some of the notes at the acoustic gig today. He was nearly unbearable because of his grumpy mood, he didn't stop complaining about his headache all day and about the fact that he "couldn't remember one second of last night".
But now that I saw all four of them smiling like little kids at the food Carl brought them, I couldn't suppress a chuckle.
"Here, I saved you one" Ashton said, handing me one of the thin pancakes. They had chocolate spread on it and I smiled at him before taking a bite.
"So, today's the last show at Wembley, boys! Remember that we will leave very early tomorrow morning for Copenhagen. Don't drink too much tonight" Carl glanced at Calum who was smiling shyly "and make sure not to forget your passports" This time he glanced at Michael, who just rolled his eyes. "And now, let's get going, we don't have that much time left."
I followed the crew into the car, where I finished eating my food and felt my phone vibrating multiple times. When I took a glance at the screen it revealed me that my Twitter mentions went crazy.
I furrowed my eyebrows, not really knowing why people would tweet me. I received about 20 tweets a day maybe, most of them asking me to make the 5sos boys follow them.
I opened the app and nearly choked when I read through the hundreds of tweets I got.
@lukeyspenguin98: omg I bet they fucked, she's such a whore I hope she dies
@fivesauceee_x: SHE'S NOT EVEN PRETTY WHY DOES LUKE LIKE HER EW
@caracampel5h: just wait and tomorrow shell wear ashtons shirt lol I hate her already... she looks like a slut anyway cant believe the boys like her
I quickly closed my Twitter app and soaked in some air, trying not to let the boys notice what just happened.
But wow, it was amazing what comments like that could cause inside of me. I never really had to deal with hate and now it seemed as if everyone was spending their whole day trying to make me feel horrible.
I couldn't resist taking another look at my Twitter mentions, but I really shouldn't have done that.
This time I saw the source of all the mean messages people sent to me. It was a picture of Luke carrying me inside of the Chinese restaurant. You could see him smiling brightly and I was hiding my face, Luke's shirt on my body obviously visible. Underneath the photo were hundreds of replies, some of them were quite decent but most of them were full of disgusting words directed towards me.
@woolycarriex: stay away from our boys, fucking bitch. You just want their fame and money so fuck off theyre ours xoxo
"Well, fuck you too wooly Carrie" I mumbled quietly, thinking about replying to her but then it would cause even more trouble and that's what I really didn't want to happen.
Instead of that, I posted a tweet saying:
@freyajenkins: Excited for the last show in London. Proud of my four friends rocking the stage!
I added a smiley emoji at the end of the tweet, but I honestly felt like crying. I just couldn't understand why they had to hate on me so much even though they didn't know me at all.
Of course they were scared of me dating one of "their" boys, but even if it would happen, what are they supposed to do? Don't allow them to date me? The minds of teenage fangirls were incredibly evil and surreal sometimes, I really wished they would think like a normal person for once.
"Is everything okay?" Calum poked my arm, smiling slightly at me.
I nodded and quickly put my phone away. "Just very tired"
I knew that he didn't buy my reply but I didn't really care. They had a lot more to worry about, they had to play a show in less than two hours. I just had to deal with some meaningless tweets that people on the internet decided to throw against my head to make me feel bad, something the boys had to deal with every day.
We arrived at the arena soon after, but I had trouble showing my excitement for their last London show. I tried my best to smile a lot and to joke around with them, but I just couldn't stop thinking about the words that haunted me ever since I read the tweets.
It seemed as if the whole world decided to make this the worst day of my life. As if it wasn't enough to deal with all of the pain I had to go through at this time of the year, no, now I had some more reason to feel like shit.
I was kind of relieved when the boys left for the show, so I could plug in my headphones and listen to some calm music to bring me down. I just wanted to make all of those bad feelings stop inside of me, I wanted the words to stop hurting me, the memories to stop haunting me and I just wanted to feel alright again.
Just like I did yesterday, when for some reason the band and my uncle made me feel like I was important and I could forget all of those negative things for one day.
I tried to find a quiet place, but the only place that was really quiet was the bathroom. So I locked myself in there and sat down on the cold floor.
My fingers started shoving away the bracelets on my left wrist, revealing my tattoo. It was a little flower and the simple sight of it made me feel somewhat better but also very bad. It was a simple stick and poke tattoo, but it held so much meaning that it was nearly impossible for me not to cry while looking at it.
I remembered every second of how it got there exactly.
"It's not gonna hurt too much, I promise." He chuckled, looking into my scared eyes. "And in the end, it's worth the pain, right? It didn't hurt that much when I got my tattoos, and they're not even stick and poke, they're real tattoos. See Freya, I'm still alive."
I smiled at him, my heart pounding as fast as ever. I felt my hands getting sweaty when I took a look at the clock in the bathroom. It was 11.59pm, only one minute left until he would start giving me the best birthday present I could wish for.
"Ten seconds left until you're 16, little flower" He smiled, staring at the clock as well.
"10"
I closed my eyes.
"9"
I felt his fingers brushing my cheek.
"8"
His arms slowly wrapped around my waist.
"7"
His grip tightened as my breath hitched.
"6"
My eyes fluttered open again.
"5"
His eyes glanced down on me.
"4"
He let out a quiet chuckle.
"3"
I smiled as big as I could.
"2"
His hands lifted me up.
"1"
I let out a slight squeal before he buried me in his arms, his head in the crook of my neck.
"Happy birthday, little flower"
His hugs were the nicest and most wonderful hugs you could ever receive. They held so much love and warmth in them, it was as if you could feel his soul through the embrace.
"And now, let's get started on your tattoo. Let's see if it will be as beautiful and unique as you are."
My eyes were screwed shut the whole time while he poked my skin with the needle repeatedly and I tried my best not to let out any loud sounds that could possibly wake up my parents. They weren't supposed to notice anything about out late night birthday tattoo studio in our bathroom.
It didn't take him long to finish up the cute little flower that was now forever on my skin, reminding me of this night, of him.
"It's wonderful" I whispered as I watched him disinfecting the small wounds he left with the needle. A smile was present on his face as he washed out the instruments he used and put them into a small bag before his hands found mine.
He sat down in front of me on the bathroom floor, his eyes looking at the small piece of art he just created on my skin.
"Whenever you feel as if you are not worth much, look at this little reminder on your wrist. You are beautiful Freya, you are amazing. And I will love you forever, you are my little flower. I will always see the beauty in you, and I know that so many other people will. But it's important that you see that, too. Have you heard me?"
I nodded, a small tear falling down my face.
"You are the most important thing in my life, Freya" He whispered. "I really do love you."
A quiet whisper left my mouth, before more tears started to slip out of my eyes.
"I love you, too."
I didn't notice I was crying until my shirt started getting wet from the endless amount of tears that were falling down from my eyes.
I got up to look at myself in the mirror before splashing water onto my face, but the tears didn't stop and soon turned into loud sobs that I couldn't control.
He was gone, and I couldn't bring him back. He was gone, and all that was left of him was the little flower on my skin and his words that still lingered in my soul. He was gone, and it was my fault.
I fell down onto the floor again, my sobs becoming louder and uncontrollable and I was hoping no one would hear me.
I started repeatedly hitting my head on the wall when I felt my phone slipping out of my pocket, the screen lighting up with new twitter mentions.
@ermagerd5sos: I hope you die, stupid bitch
And that's all I wanted in this moment. I wanted to die.
-
i'm sorry i think i cried a little when i wrote this
wtf happened with freya and who is the mysterious boy that is now apparently gone what what
and ooOOoo calum has a massive hangover and cant remember last nights events ergo grumpy michael???? oOOOOOOooooOh no
i mean u could tell me how u like the story so far or tell me what ud like better or what u think about the characters or idEK it would help and mean a lot, just sayin :-)
ALSO CHECK OUT THE PROLOGUE OF THE NEW MICHAEL FIC I STARTED WRITING CALLED "PATTERNS" - ITS GONNA BE A GOOD ONE :-)
love u guys i hope you have / had a nice day